Everybody wants to see Rachel Uchitel Pictures, and I won’t deny it… myself included. I’m a grumpy old man who gets off on fluffing crap on everyone famous, but I have had undeniable respect for Tiger Woods and his… what appeared to be a perfect life. I was kind of surprised when scandal around his persona surfaced but at the same time I was not. That’s because the scandal bore the title Tiger Woods Mistress.

Everything seemed to be so perfect in Tiger Woods’ life that I could not think of anything that could have gone better for him. He has a beautiful family, Scandinavian model Elin Nordegren is a wife to die for, and let’s not forget that he’s one of the most celebrated sports figures of all time and the best paid one too. Yet something was missing in Tiger Woods’ life. And that’s probably where mistress needed to step in. And what best way to fill in the need for a successful person to get a spank than by a wannabe gold digger. Enter Rachel Uchitel.

There has been way too much buzz around Tiger Woods and then some more. Yesterday accident and gold club through the window was just a cherry on top, but let’s focus on Rachel Uchitel and her pictures. Look at the gallery below. WTF is wrong with Tiger Woods. Why do all these rich and famous people go for the ugly and skanky sluts? Why not pick a cute girl next door? Rachel Uchitel is fucking nasty and so plastic it makes me wanna puke dildos. Duh!

Gallery of Rachel Uchitel Pictures aka Tiger Woods Mistress is below:

Aubrey O’Day, who’s basically a nobody got desperate for attention yesterday and posted a picture of her naked ass on twitter. You see, women like Aubrey O’Day don’t have much going for them. They got a brief shot at fame at some failed reality show and when they faintly burning candle goes out, they go all out in desperate attempt to put that spotlight back on their ass.

Not that I find anything wrong with that. The more failed sluts feel the need to seek attention via half naked photos, the more nude ass there will be to jerk off to. And since there never is shortage of failed sluts, there will never be shortage of naked ass photos on twitter or internet as a whole. Aubrey O’Day simply showed us what we already know. Her star that’s never shined bright is fading by the day so she’s trying hard to draw attention to herself by the only means available to her. And since her lack of skill to produce anything worthwhile is apparent, there is one more naked ass on the net to drool to. Way to go, Aubrey O’Day.

Google continues to pace its way of being the biggest Obama ass kisser on the planet. What a FAIL. Latest faux paix on behalf Google has to do with Michelle Obama Monkey Photo. As it turns out, North Americans are not the only ones who find similarities between Michelle Obama and monkeys striking. Some blogger from out of China who has his Hot Girls blog hosted on Google owned Blogger.com posted a picture of Michelle Obama with monkey features on his blog and this photo ended up being the top search result on Google for search phrase “Michelle Obama”.

Nothing wrong with that, afterall – many upon many politicians and folks of other walks of life had their photos digitally manipulated and posted on the internet. Well, while other folk have sense of humor, The Obama has long been known for having none and both them as well as their worshippers get excessively outraged when someone dares to make fun of their idol.

Google being the Obama worshipper extraordinaire, responded to whining of other Obama worshippers by removal of Michelle Obama monkey photo. Bunch of hypocrites those Obama ass kissers at Google. Somehow they forgot about their pledge to “do no evil”. It’s fine to make fun of anyone else, but try to make fun of The Obamas and Google bends over to take a twin fist up their ass form their worshipped idols.

Sad world we live in. Google is a failed search engine. Providing fair, relevant results is not good by them. They must manually alter it and force feed failed Google users with custom tailored search results.

Since the original Michelle Obama monkey photo has disappeared from the internet due to Google’s doing, I’ve decided to paint my own. Granted, I ain’t no artist, but don’t tell me my awesome drawing does not resemble Michelle Obama or a monkey!

US President and an overall joker Barack Obama is on his Asia wide tour and made a stop in Japan to grease their mighty land with his presence. When the time came to meet with Emperor Akihito and Empress Michiko, Barack Obama deeply bowed to them. There’s a lot of controversy over this bow and I know in the past I was one of those who pointed out inconsistencies in Obama’s behaviour when he bowed to Saudi King. That is simply political correctness as Americans fought to gain independence from “kingdoms” and as such, are not bowed to bow to royalties (or should not). However if it were me standing before Japanese Emperor Akihito and Empress Michiko, I’d bow my ass two. This is a very special time in my life when I actually agree with actions of Barack Obama. Must be the first time he did something right.

I wonder if it was a teleprompter that told him to do that. Barack Obama can’t even take shit without his teleprompter. How he managed to bow to Japanese Emperor and not screw up somewhere on the way is beyond me. While it is said that bowing to the Emperor is a sign of respect in Japanese culture and something that’s expected without questioning, it is true that 46 leaders from other countries did not bow to Japanese Emperor and the world did not fall over. When is Barack Obama going to come and bow before me?

Photo of Barack Obama bowing to Japanese Emperor Akihito and Empress Michiko by Reuters

There was nothing wrong with Amy Winehouse and her breasts prior to the silicone stuffings. There was plenty of wrong with her, but her breasts were fine. Why she decided to go under the scalpel of a plastic surgeon and have her titties mutilated with implants is beyond me. Now Amy Winehouse is the same ranks of other breast implants skanks like Shauna Sand and the such. Horrendous. Each time I see photos of Amy Winehouse and her new implants, is makes the cockroaches in my walls squeal.

According to reports, Amy Winehouse spent $6000 for her breast implants and allegedly it as in efforts to regain her pre-drug abuse curvy body. Hmmm, can’t say she’s achieved. Furthermore, putting silicones in your breasts will not rid you of the looks of former drug junkie. It’s crazy how women can lose a lot of their bust by succumbing to drugs and alcohol.

Gallery of Amy Winehouse breast implant photos is below. Truly sad:

Laws exist to ensure public safety. How is it possible that there is no law banning females from driving is beyond me. Each woman behind a wheel of an automobile is a deadly weapon and a danger to public safety. No matter how politically correct you choose to be, women can NOT drive. Period. This should not be discussed any further. It’s an undisputed fact and action should be taken to prevent further damage to lives and property. Ban Female Drivers NOW!

The video above hit the internet several days ago. I was the only one who immediately identified the driver as a female when the video was posted on AlbertaStars.com. It was a no brainer – it takes a woman to deliver parking fail of such epic proportions and then casually drive away like nothing happened. I’ve been saying it all along, now it’s time to take action: Ban Female Drivers. For the sake of public safety, act not and ban female drivers immediately.

The woman who has no business driving in this video is Tripta Kaushal. 62 year old worthless driver (just as all women are) wanted to go to Extreme Fitness club in Thornhill, Ontario, Canada to get some fitness in her useless body but changed her mind after this epic parking fail. Instead of getting some fitness going, Tripta Kaushal casually reversed her BMW X5 and drove off like nothing happened.

What stupid wench did not realize (woman), is that her epic driving capabilities were recorded on club’s surveillance camera and posted on the internet. From there it was a mere question of time before the video took off and went viral. It takes a woman to deliver this shit.

One of the cars Tripta Kaushal destroyed was a 2004 Hyunday Elantra which belonged to Todd Jamison, system administrator at Extreme Fitness. He was obviously not happy seeing his piece of crap Hyunday destroyed, consulted the surveillance tapes and contacted the police. Through video enhancements, the police were able to get the license plate number of the SUV that destroyed Elantra and traced down the female driver – Tripta Kaushal.

Tripta Kaushal was charged with failing to remain at the scene of an accident and Todd Jamison… he was offered a brand new, 2010 Hyunday Elantra as a random act of kindness by Hyunday Canada. The best PR Hyunday could ever do for themselves. Congrats. Now if they only could lobby for banning of female drivers. We need to get the likes of Tripta Kaushal off Canadian roads.

Mariah Carey – the ugliest skank in show-business and the clumsiest attention whore who makes each of her video clips to her worthless music about herself posing up like a 4 year old girl in front of the mirror had a moment on Jay Leno show but unfortunately managed to balance herself up and not fall. Given that Mariah Carey is all kept together by all forms of sticky tapes, should she hale fallen, there would be unidentified pieces of plastic and flesh sent adrift through Lay Leno’s studio. Sadly, she didn’t fall.

I didn’t watch the whole video (seen below), only her failed introduction which is funny enough. No need to spend 8 minutes watching her ugly mug slap around like she’s relevant or shit. It would have been plenty of hilarious if she fell mug first like a fat sack of potatoes she is and splattered on the floor but fairies of fair treatment were on vacation so she collected herself mid trembling. There’s always next time.

Have you ever wondered what rich people eat and drink when they enter poshy establishments in metropolitan cities? Well, now you can find out. Pictured above is the copy of the bill Russian billionaire and the owner of Chelsea Football Club – Roman Abramovich paid during his stop at Nelly’s in New York.

The $47,000 bill Roman Abramovich picked up covered food and drink for himself and five friends. Most of the items are not that bad, just with upscale establishment prices ($27 for a capuccino), the bil grew into tens of thousands of dollars with bottles of expensive wines. Roman Abramovich won’t drink just about any wine, he must have La Tache Romanee Conti, a wine that costs $5000 per bottle. To keep the mood going, the party got additional two bottles of Chateau Petrus, another expensive wine that costs $5k per bottle and then there are also two bottles of Crystal Rose Magnum which are just as expensive. Must have been nice being a waiter who got Roman Abramovich and his people to serve to. 20% gratuity ended up being over $7000.

Source: BuzzFeed

EDIT:

Beer Steak Blog has been notified about the following:

This bill did not belong to Roman Abramovich. He and his party spent only about 3% of this amount in that restaurant. Furthermore, he and his party of 5 (half of whom do not drink) did not order 6 bottles of alcohol for an 75-minute lunch.

We apologize for publishing incorrect information.

This video is so accurate it’s scary. Just some collection of images that makes for a whole in which Barack Obama and his wife Michelle Obama don’t seem to need a costume for Halloween. They just need to take off the costumes they use throughout the year to masquerade themselves as people. The mask behind which Barack Obama hides every day keeps the real him from being seen. Halloween is over, Mr. Barack Obama, let’s see that pretty face now!