Celebrities

By bumping her coochie pie with Sandip Soparrkar, Britney Spears has officially reached a whole new bottom. WTF is she thinking? Why does she hook up with all those weird characters from Middle East and South West Asia? Plus look at that guy Sandip Soparrkar. He’s got “GAY” written all over his face. Are there not enough straight guys in the world for girls to hook yo with? I mean “HELLO”… I’m right here, have no pussy to stick my dick into and Britney Spears flies to India to spread her vagina for a gay loon? That’s fucking disturbing.

Sandip Soparrkar is a choreographer from Bollywood who put together Britney Spears’ Womanizer video. Sources say that Britney Spears met Sandip Soparrkar at a party thrown by Madonna – here’s another fine girl who wastes her vaginal juices on bumping some weird characters from weird parts of the world, WTF?

True love that developed between most famous vagina in Hollywood and gayest choreographer in Bollywood during filming of Womanizer had Britney Spears fly to India to deliver her vagina right to the bed of said Sandip Soparrkar. I bet he keeps pink dinos under his blankets he’s so gay. The most disturbing shit is, that Britney Spears sneaked out of Hollywood to rub her pussy on gay’s face without anyone noticing. They were bumping it in India and no paparazzi had fucking clue where she was.

To make things funnier, Britney Spears calls her new boyfriend Sandy. She’s obviously the man in the relationship, she puts on one of strap-ons from Sandip Soparrkar’s collection and butt fucks the Indian till the content of his prostate explodes through his dick. Duh!

The blasphemy, the nerve… Robert Pattinson Cut his Hair – what are all those 11 year old chick going to rub their mini clits to now? Robert Pattinson’s signature hair made pussies of pre teen girls dribble with passion and made Summit Entertainment shit loads of money despite poor execution, terrible special effects and pathetic acting. Still, because of Robert Pattinson’s hair, the titty-less little girls were getting their pink panties wet and paid to see Twilight 20+ times each. Now the hair is gone. Robert Pattinson cut his hair – what are they gonna masturbate to? The blasphemy!

Some speculate that production of Twilight sequel New Moon is in danger due to Robert Pattinson’s new haircut. I don’t understand what the fuss is all about – the shit will grow back, bitches. Put your panties back on and enjoy damn Christmas, skanks. You’re just 11 anyway. Shouldn’t you be watching movies with Red Nosed Reindeer instead? Or it simply pisses you off that your pre-school classmates saw Twilight more times than you? Fuck that.

Production of New Moon is not scheduled to start until March of 2009. I’m sure Robert Pattinson will have his original hair back by then. He probably cut it cause it was a pain in the butt. Maybe his boyfriend was getting all pissed as it was getting in his face when he was bumping his pie hole upright in public washroom.

One more pic of Robert Pattinson and his new haircut is below.

Robert Pattinson Cut his Hair Pic

Meet Paloma Jimenez, some ho who sucks Vin Diesel’s cock. He must have liked it. Cause he boned the fuck out of her, sprayed his semen all over her vagina, made her preggo and a brat was born. That was back in April of 2008. Vin Diesel didn’t go too public with it all, or maybe he was just too budy boning this ho and didn’t have time to let everyone know.

Paloma Jimenez is a 24 year old originally from Acapulco, Mexico. She’s a model – not sure what her modeling career was like prior to taking Vin Diesel’s dick up the ass, but I’m sure it was a positive boost once she sucked on famous penis. Vin Diesel is 40.

According to some portals that know more than I do, Paloma Jimenez appeared in high profile some commercials for Honda and Coca Cola. What they fail to mention is whether she got those gigs prior to getting boned by Vin Diesel or after. Maxim magazine (they still exist) had Paloma Jimenez on a cover in January 2005. Nobody knows how long Vin Diesel and Paloma Jimenez have been bumping genital pies for hence no one can tell what contributed to her career.

Below are some more pics of Paloma Jimenez

Paris Hilton and her (currently) ever present BFF Brittany Flickinger went out to show off Paris’ new toy yesterday – brand new, custom built, pink as fuck Bentley. Complete with Paris Hilton holograms on rims, leather upholstery and front mask. According to British Daily Mail, this hawt new gay ride cost Paris Hilton $200 000. Not bad, considering Paris Hilton lost $2 million in jewelry that was stolen from her by a burglar who broke in to her house last week. I want to fuck Paris Hilton. This Bentley is so faggy pink, I want a ride in it.

Brittany Flickinger is obviously much more successful in whoring herself out than me. And she knows it well so she’s holding on to Paris Hilton like her pussy dependent on it. Smart pussy that Brittany. That’s where money, poshy life and rides in a new custom pink Bantley are. Stick to it and enjoy it while it lasts, bitch. I will be replacing you soon. If I can make myself look like a complete idiot, I will. I don’t think anything tops riding pink Bentley when it comes to that…

More pics of Paris Hilton’s new ride below:

All pics of Paris hilton, Her BFF Brittany Flickinger and Paris’ Hawt New Pink Bentley by Photo Agency

Level of FAIL = EPIC! Pamela Anderson and her silicon brain attempted to fill up a gas tank on an automobile and it went as expected – a fucking FAIL. As if it wasn’t enough that’s she a female – she shouldn’t be driving – but we’re also talking about a clueless dumbass of a female. What the fuck is she doing at the gas pump?

Now, I understand the gas prices dropped significantly, but it still doesn’t mean one should squirt it around like it’s Tommy Lee’s dick? I wish I could ask someone to teach this ho how to gas up an automobile, but it’s in vain. Pamela Anderson at the gas pump = FAIL.

Pamela Anderson gas pump fail pics credit: Photo Agency

Connor Cruise, 13 year old son of Tom Cruise makes his big movie debut in a film titled Seven Pounds starring Will Smith. Obviously, it pays to have a father who’s a famous actor when you’re auditioning for a movie role – which was a case of Connor Cruise. Especially if we’re talking about a movie starring Will Smith, who’s a big buddy of Tom’s in Scientology. Connor Cruise (shockingly… NOT) got the role and plays young Ben Thomas, who is then played by Will Smith as a grown up.

Connor Cruise is one of Tom Cruise’s two children he has with Nicole Kidman to whom he was married. His current wife Katie Holmes gave him daughter Suri.

Seven Pounds premiered today in Los Angeles and Tom Cruise did not attend his son’s big day, because he was busy in New York promoting his own flick – Valkyrie. It’s like… whatever, my son just got his first movie roll. Who cares. He’s my son, the son of Tom Cruise, surely he’ll have crap loads of more roles in the future. Congrats to Tom Cruise and to his son Connor Cruise for making it on the big screen at the age of 13. Fuck!

The video trailer for Seven Pounds with Will Smith and Connor Cruise is below.

Tom Cruise and Connor Cruise Photo Credit: WENN

This one’s for the ladies, all right? Cause they don’t get much to jerk off to from me. Robert Pattinson, the star of Twilight – you all masturbate to his clothed pictures so some smartasses tracked down what it is that makes this dude hawt. And voila, he’s a fucking mutant. A Frankenstein type of creature pasted together from several contemporary hawt males. Brace your clits, the secret to Robert Pattinson’s hotness revealed. Robert Pattinson has:

• Eyes of Orlando Bloom
• Hair of Matthew McConaughey
• Eyebrows of Jake Gyllenhaal
• Lips of Chace Crawford
• Chin of Jude Law

There, that was the secret to why Robert Pattinson makes every girl’s vagina sweat. Unlike me, who has cute face of Lotney Fratelli from The Goonies and abs of SpongeBob SquarePants. Duh!

Kathryn Rogers – who the hell is she? Must be a friggin gold digger. That’s the only way I see it. Why otherwise would her bot 31 year old MILF ass hook up with Rush Limbaugh whose man boob ass is 26 years older than hers. That’s right, as it turns out, Kathryn Rogers has been Rush Limbaugh’s Girlfriend for six months.

Rush Limbaugh, 57 year old conservative radio host met Kathryn Rogers at a celebrity golf tournament in Miami 6 months ago and they’ve been bumping genitals since.

Kathryn Rogers is a party planner from West Palm Beach. She’s the one who put together those golf tournaments and got high profile people on it. Seems like a good way to score a big fish, if you’re a gold digger in early thirties looking to hook up with a celebrity.

Note – that idiotic maggot Pete Wentz is purposefully cropped out of this pic. You can see part of his faggy shoulder next to Ashlee Simpson’s gay coat. I seriously can’t stand that maggot’s mug. He’s got the most irritating face in the world. It’s one of those stupid mugs that calls for you to punch it in the face to save it from itself. And he walks like he’s got the broom up his faggy ass.

Pete Wentz paid visit to the Howard Stern show and guess what – they talked about sex. No fucking way… a Howard Stern guest who talks about sex? When did this trend start… Not fucking funny, moron. To sum it all up, Ashlee Simpson takes it in the ass from Pete Wentz. I’m surprised those two lamers know what anal sex is. I mean, I know. I’ve seen it on the net. But Ashlee Simpson having anal sex with Pete Wentz… Something doesn’t add up here.

Pete Wentz probably thought he’s gonna come out of it as fucking jock when Howard Stern asked him about women he slept with, but Ashlee Simpson is not impressed. Skank just gave birth to a kid that’s not mine. You know what that means? That means that someone other than me sprayed his stinking sperm all over her cervix leaving her pussy in pure man juice mess. How fucking disgusting. Did you get the same visual I got? Gross fucking shit. Imagine that man juice is from that maggot Pete Wentz… I won’t mind if you can’t hold vomit any longer. I puked all over my testes myself. That shit’s just fucking disgusting. And they’d named the kid Bronx Mowgli. Enough said!

Pete Wentz fucks Ashlee Simpson in the ass… when she lets him. Totally… those two have anal sex together. Who would have imagined. Pete Wentz probably shoved his mini man in Ashlee Simpsons belly button and it felt like ass to him. Now he’s bragging to Howard Stern about it.

“We have an amazing sex life,” that’s what he said. Yeah right. Maggot watched Titanic and imagined himself in a fogged vintage car when Ashlee was sleeping. Amazing sex life my ass.

Anyway, no real point here other than according to Pete Wentz, he has anal sex with Ashlee Simpson. He should put lube on his hand – it’ll stop feeling like Ashlee Simpson’s ass and he’ll get the impression of her vagina instead. Change is good, moron!

Glib – marked by ease and fluency in speaking or writing often to the point of being insincere or deceitful (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary)

When Tom Cruise had a chat with Matt Lauer on Today in 2005, he was asked by the host of the show about his remarks regarding Brooke Shields, antidepressants and Scientology. The debate got a bit heated, Tom Cruise felt strongly about psychiatry and abuse of antidepressants saying that there is no such thing as chemical imbalance. Matt Lauer insisted that Brooke Shields could be one example in which antidepressants worked well, as Brooke herself said it helped her. Tom Cruise responded by saying that he studied the History of Psychology where as Matt Lauer didn’t and called him a “Glib“. If you haven’t seen the video form it, scroll all the way down to watch it.

That was back in 2005, when the deal with Tom Cruise and his involvement with Scientology was huge. Tom Cruise had calmed down a little since and lately he even said he would not talk publically about Scientology anymore. Today, Tom Cruise was at Today show sitting opposite Matt Lauer again and apologized for his 2005 remarks, including Glib. Both Tom Cruise and Matt Lauer said that there was no animosity between the two when the show had ended, Tom Cruise even made an appearance at Matt Lauer’s Roast earlier this year.

Tom Cruise basically acknowledged during Today that his argument with Matt Lauer came across as arrogant and apologized for that.

BTW – for a celebrity such as Tom Cruise who’s in major spotlight it is definitely uncalled for to call an established journalist a “Glib”. He screwed up on that one. However I agree with what he had to say and he was right about the antidepressants and chemical imbalance bullshit. He was totally right, he just didn’t hold his temper that time around and “came across as arrogant”. Arrogant or not, he was right.

Below is the MSNBC clip from Today show with Matt Lauer and Tom Cruise. I love the crowd outside who stare at the screen above to see when a camera that has them in a background is on so they can give it a wave and brag to their worthless friends about it so they can get laid. Pfff, little fuckers end up having sex tonight while I’m jerking off to porn again…

In case you haven’t seen the 2005 goodness, here’s the video so you get into swing of things: