Ever wondered what size vagina Britney Spears had? Now you can find out, just head over to her Twitter (who the hell uses Twitter nowadays?) and check it out. Some loser bigger than me (would never believe there is one) hacked Britney Spears’ Twitter and posted the funny on there. I don’t ever get laid, but I still can at least jerk off to free online porn, but losers from basements who never see daylight and can’t even get it hard are uber pathetic. This hacker screams at me with being one. Dude – if you can beat me at sucking, you know you truly are the shit!

This who effect is quadrupled by the fact that the loser uses twitter. I’ve never even been to Twitter. Beat that. Except from now of course, that I went to check out Britney Spears and her hacked account. BTW, if you haven’t figured that shit out, it’s on http://www.twitter.com/britneyspears. The day I join Twitter is the day I can’t get my dick hard. When there is no jerking off to porn, then lame bullshit like Twitter comes to be.

Above is the pic of the priceless screenshot of what the awesomeness looked like when Britney Spears Twitter was Hacked.

This is the video of that epic fight between Sharon Osbourne and Megan Hauserman everybody is talking about. Sharon Osbourne just met with Megan Hauserman after six months of Rock of Love, Charm School Reunion reality show, Megan Hauserman let her filthy whore mouth aloose and Sharon Osbourne put the ho in place.

Megan Hauserman seemed somewhat drunk and likely was. She was interrupting everyone by forcing her stupid blonde haired mug into people’s faces and kept raising her hands up like she’s a winner and accompanied all that with an obnoxious shriek. She was tolerated up to the moment she threw verbal shit at Ozzy Osbourne at which point Sharon stood up, picked up a glass of water, threw it at skank’s face and ripped her blond hair off her stupid head. Most of it is not seen in the video as production crew and security personnel swarmed the area trying to break the fight, but it’s satisfying enough just to know that Sharon Osbourne put Megan Hauserman in place. As the fight calmed down, Sharon said to the cameras: “They can fuck with me, I don’t give a shit. But not my family”. Right on Sharon. Respect!

Simply put – Sharon Osbourne ended Megan Hauserman’s two minutes of fame with style. The skank shut her dumb mouth and had nothing more to say. Not even when TMZ paparazzi caught up with her later that day (video HERE).

Latest reports suggest that the police was involved and investigation is in progress. Obviously, Megan Hauserman is looking to extend her attention whoring by pulling off the cry baby stunt. Stupid skank should go to where she came from – sucking small town mechanics’ cocks for cigs.

Jett Travolta is, actually was the son of John Travolta and Kelly Preston. It is with big sadness that I have to announce the passing of this young boy. Jett Travolta was 16 year old and some speculate that he may have suffered from autism which could be the reason why he’s now dead. Jett Travolta died during family vacation in the Bahamas.

There is hardly anything more boring than family get together, including family vacations, but in this case it really doesn’t matter. Jett Travolta was last seen yesterday night going into the bathroom in the Old Bahama Bay Hotel suit that The Travoltas rented. His dead body was discovered at 10am today by Jeff Michael Kathrein – his caretaker.

According to the attorney Michael Ossi, Jett Travolta suffered a seizure, fell and hit his head on the bathtub causing head trauma that killed him. Once his body was discovered, paramedics attempted to revive the boy, but it was all in vain. According to his attorney, Jett Travolta had a history of seizures. That’s pretty shitty – being 16 year old and having such health problems

Some speculations from the past suggested that Jett Travolta was autistic, but John Travolta strictly denied the claims of autism and threatened everyone who was spreading aurism rumors with law suits like there was no tomorrow. Media responded by blaming John for denial over his son’s condition and trusting Scientology to solve the autistic problems. John Travolta always claimed that it was not autism Jett was suffering from, but Kawasaki Syndrome. According to Jett’s mom Kelly Preston, a detox program by L. Ron Hubbard improved her son’s condition but blamed their household cleaners for his on going problems. She never admitted autism either.

Exact cause of Jett Travolta’s death will be determined by the autopsy that is being performed. What a terrible way to start a new year for The Travoltas. Church of Scientology does not believe in autism, mental problems and psychoactive drugs. Speculations are not going rampant all over the internet that John may have killed Jett Travolta by denying him the treatment for autism. I find it all a big pile of hogwash, but who knows.

Jeff Michael Kathrein – a guy who found Jett Travolta dead is rumored to be John Travolta’s gay lover. RIP Jett Travolta.

The bitch-fest bitches who stirred shit at Turks and Caicos airport last year are finally finding the way to let the crap go and move on with their lives. According to Calvin Chase – the Police Sgt from Turks and Caicos, charges against both Bianca Golden and Nikki Blonsky have been dropped. Bitches got each other a Christmas present.

As you may remember, Hairspray actress Nikki Blonsky got into a bitch fight with America’s Next Top Model ho Bianca Golden at Turks and Caicos last year. Big family brawl erupted and bitches got arrested. Bianca Golden went to bitch about it on the Tyra Bank Show and said Carl Blonsky, Nikki’s father beat the shit out of her mommy who had to be taken to hospital. Nikki responded by calling Bianca Golden a liar. Carl Blonsky remains busted with charges against him pending. If convicted, he could be facing up to five years in prison.

All charges against both Bianca Golden and Nikki Blonsky have been dropped, even though no reasons as to why were released. I know why… Bitches got drunk, ended up sleeping with each other and enjoyed mutual vagina rubs. That shit drops any charges.

Laura Louie is not a new ho in Woody Harrelson’s life. The two have been together for 20 years and have three kids – Denni Montana, 15, Zoe Giordano, 12 and Makani Ravello. But it was only after 20 whole years that Woody Harrelson and Laura Louie sealed their relationship in a holy matrimony and got married. The wedding took place in Maui, Hawaii with just a small group of friends and family. Alanis Morissette graced their wedding ceremony with her singing in presence of a few Hollywood stars, including Sean Penn, Willie Nelson and Owen Wilson. So Laura Louie is a wifey now. Afterall she’s 43 year old – just about time for marriage certificate.

Laura Louie met with Woody Harrelson in 1987. She was his personal assistant at the time while he was working on a TV show Cheers and they’ve been together as a couple since. They both now live in Maui, Hawaii as part of 200 member sustainable community. That’s absolutely awesome. They are both fans of yoga and run a website focused on increasing awareness and protesting against air soil and water pollution. Laura Louie also co-owns organic food delivery company Yoganics.

Sounds like Laura Louie and Woody Harrelson found great purpose on Earth and are gonna live happy and healthy lives. I’m totally envious.

Laura Louie and Woody Harrelson photo credit: WENN

By bumping her coochie pie with Sandip Soparrkar, Britney Spears has officially reached a whole new bottom. WTF is she thinking? Why does she hook up with all those weird characters from Middle East and South West Asia? Plus look at that guy Sandip Soparrkar. He’s got “GAY” written all over his face. Are there not enough straight guys in the world for girls to hook yo with? I mean “HELLO”… I’m right here, have no pussy to stick my dick into and Britney Spears flies to India to spread her vagina for a gay loon? That’s fucking disturbing.

Sandip Soparrkar is a choreographer from Bollywood who put together Britney Spears’ Womanizer video. Sources say that Britney Spears met Sandip Soparrkar at a party thrown by Madonna – here’s another fine girl who wastes her vaginal juices on bumping some weird characters from weird parts of the world, WTF?

True love that developed between most famous vagina in Hollywood and gayest choreographer in Bollywood during filming of Womanizer had Britney Spears fly to India to deliver her vagina right to the bed of said Sandip Soparrkar. I bet he keeps pink dinos under his blankets he’s so gay. The most disturbing shit is, that Britney Spears sneaked out of Hollywood to rub her pussy on gay’s face without anyone noticing. They were bumping it in India and no paparazzi had fucking clue where she was.

To make things funnier, Britney Spears calls her new boyfriend Sandy. She’s obviously the man in the relationship, she puts on one of strap-ons from Sandip Soparrkar’s collection and butt fucks the Indian till the content of his prostate explodes through his dick. Duh!

The blasphemy, the nerve… Robert Pattinson Cut his Hair – what are all those 11 year old chick going to rub their mini clits to now? Robert Pattinson’s signature hair made pussies of pre teen girls dribble with passion and made Summit Entertainment shit loads of money despite poor execution, terrible special effects and pathetic acting. Still, because of Robert Pattinson’s hair, the titty-less little girls were getting their pink panties wet and paid to see Twilight 20+ times each. Now the hair is gone. Robert Pattinson cut his hair – what are they gonna masturbate to? The blasphemy!

Some speculate that production of Twilight sequel New Moon is in danger due to Robert Pattinson’s new haircut. I don’t understand what the fuss is all about – the shit will grow back, bitches. Put your panties back on and enjoy damn Christmas, skanks. You’re just 11 anyway. Shouldn’t you be watching movies with Red Nosed Reindeer instead? Or it simply pisses you off that your pre-school classmates saw Twilight more times than you? Fuck that.

Production of New Moon is not scheduled to start until March of 2009. I’m sure Robert Pattinson will have his original hair back by then. He probably cut it cause it was a pain in the butt. Maybe his boyfriend was getting all pissed as it was getting in his face when he was bumping his pie hole upright in public washroom.

One more pic of Robert Pattinson and his new haircut is below.

Robert Pattinson Cut his Hair Pic

Meet Paloma Jimenez, some ho who sucks Vin Diesel’s cock. He must have liked it. Cause he boned the fuck out of her, sprayed his semen all over her vagina, made her preggo and a brat was born. That was back in April of 2008. Vin Diesel didn’t go too public with it all, or maybe he was just too budy boning this ho and didn’t have time to let everyone know.

Paloma Jimenez is a 24 year old originally from Acapulco, Mexico. She’s a model – not sure what her modeling career was like prior to taking Vin Diesel’s dick up the ass, but I’m sure it was a positive boost once she sucked on famous penis. Vin Diesel is 40.

According to some portals that know more than I do, Paloma Jimenez appeared in high profile some commercials for Honda and Coca Cola. What they fail to mention is whether she got those gigs prior to getting boned by Vin Diesel or after. Maxim magazine (they still exist) had Paloma Jimenez on a cover in January 2005. Nobody knows how long Vin Diesel and Paloma Jimenez have been bumping genital pies for hence no one can tell what contributed to her career.

Below are some more pics of Paloma Jimenez

Paris Hilton and her (currently) ever present BFF Brittany Flickinger went out to show off Paris’ new toy yesterday – brand new, custom built, pink as fuck Bentley. Complete with Paris Hilton holograms on rims, leather upholstery and front mask. According to British Daily Mail, this hawt new gay ride cost Paris Hilton $200 000. Not bad, considering Paris Hilton lost $2 million in jewelry that was stolen from her by a burglar who broke in to her house last week. I want to fuck Paris Hilton. This Bentley is so faggy pink, I want a ride in it.

Brittany Flickinger is obviously much more successful in whoring herself out than me. And she knows it well so she’s holding on to Paris Hilton like her pussy dependent on it. Smart pussy that Brittany. That’s where money, poshy life and rides in a new custom pink Bantley are. Stick to it and enjoy it while it lasts, bitch. I will be replacing you soon. If I can make myself look like a complete idiot, I will. I don’t think anything tops riding pink Bentley when it comes to that…

More pics of Paris Hilton’s new ride below:

All pics of Paris hilton, Her BFF Brittany Flickinger and Paris’ Hawt New Pink Bentley by Photo Agency

Level of FAIL = EPIC! Pamela Anderson and her silicon brain attempted to fill up a gas tank on an automobile and it went as expected – a fucking FAIL. As if it wasn’t enough that’s she a female – she shouldn’t be driving – but we’re also talking about a clueless dumbass of a female. What the fuck is she doing at the gas pump?

Now, I understand the gas prices dropped significantly, but it still doesn’t mean one should squirt it around like it’s Tommy Lee’s dick? I wish I could ask someone to teach this ho how to gas up an automobile, but it’s in vain. Pamela Anderson at the gas pump = FAIL.

Pamela Anderson gas pump fail pics credit: Photo Agency