Celebrities

Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are currently together filming “The Bounty” – a movie in which they both co-star. They seem to be very passionate when they’re filming kissing or otherwise heated scenes, but somehow they continue in cuddling fashion even after cameras are no longer rolling. They are totally bumping it. When noone’s watching, Jennifer Aniston pulls down her shorts, rolls the panties to a side to expose her holiest of holies to Gerard Butler’s hunk of a supercharged penis. Everyone says it, I’ll say it too: “Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are totally bumping it together!”

The Bounty is a romantic comedy about Casidy and Milo, an estranged couple where Milo is a bounty hunter who’s on a mission to hunt for his ex-wife Casidy. The production crew behind The Bounty say that Jennifer Aniston takes every chance to practice kissing with Gerard Butler behind the scenes and has been overheard to say that he’s a great kisser.

Nothing’s been officially confirmed, but guesses are that Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are an item. Gerard has allegedly been blown away by Jen ever since he met her at the Toronto International Film Festival last year and wanted to do that dating thing. Jen kept rejecting him until they both got hired to star in the same movie and the spark lit Jen’s fire too. If she was keeping her thighs tight for Gerard before, now she’s looking to spread them wide open.

Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler photo by BigPicturesPhoto.com

Introducing Jay Barrymore – the luckiest bastard in all the world who gets to taste sweet vaginal juices of the single hottest girl in the world. Emma Watson is an incredible cutie and given that she’s no little Hermione Granger no more, but rather a grown up and legal young woman. Jay Barrymore has no idea what he’s getting. A single blowjob from Emma Watson and I can die a happy man. They’d have to drag me away with a bulldozer if I were to suck on her sweet… enough!

So Jay Barrymore is Emma Watson’s boyfriend and they’re moving in together. Let the orgies begin. Emma Watson owns a £3million house in London, UK so that’s got to be sweet. All is not lost though. When she was chatting on David Letterman, Emma Watson mentioned she was moving to the USA to go to the university. Maybe that’ll destroy her relationship with Jay Barrymore and since she’ll be much closer to me, I could get my shot and embracing the heavenly beast.

British Daily Mail reported that Emma Watson once said she would not go out with anyone famous. That’s great news for me. I’m only famous for being the worst blogger in the world. So far that gets me fanmail, but doesn’t get me laid. Maybe all I need is one British chick moving to the hood. Jay Barrymore ain’t famous either. He’s a financier and is 27 year old. If 27 year old average looking financier could make his way in Emma Watson’s pants, why would 34 year old below average looking piece of shit blogger not make it. I’m ready, Emma. Bring it on. But leave Jay Barrymore at home. He can do my finances in the meantime.

File Sibylle Szaggars under “gold digger” as the latest big success. 51 year old Sibylle Szaggars scored herself a big fish after she married 71 year old Robert Redford. The wedding ceremony took place in Louis C. Jacob Hotel in Germany’s Hamburg last weekend and presided by Pastor Frank Engelbrecht. The wedding ceremony was attended by only 30 people – closest family and friends. Check out the photo above, though. Both Robert Redford and Sibylle Szaggars look amazing for their age. Plastic surgery and human growth hormone make wonders.

Sibylle Szaggars is a German lass and apparently a pretty decent abstract artist. Her art has been exhibited at some famous galleries not only in home country of Germany, but also in the UK and the USA. She met with Robert Redford in Sundance, Utah. I don’t think Robert Redford needs to be introduced to many people, unless you’re really young. His bio will be particularly well known to females who are currently at a “cougar” age.

This was the second wedding for Robert Redford and fact is that he’s been dating Sibylle Szaggars for quite some time. His first marriage to Lola Redford lasted for 30 years and resulted in 4 offsprings. Not too bad for a A-List (albeit currently former) Hollywood movie star.

Reports have it that both Robert Redford and Sibylle Szaggars are looking forward to a second run at the wedding ceremony which they’re gonna have in Mexico. Mexico? What are they crazy? That’s where Swine Flu came from and that’s still where most ruthless drug wars in the world take place. Guy crazy!

Victoria Secret model Karolina Kurkova, who’s non existent belly button made her famous is pregnant and her boyfriend Archie Drury is to blame. I can imagine Archie Drury coming home all tired one night, saw Karolina Kurkova sporting her irresistible belly button, got an itch, stripped Karolina Kurkova naked, inserted his penis into her vagina and kept thrusting until his semen engulfed woman’s cervix.

Now that Karolina Kurkova is pregnant, Archie Drury can spray his semen inside her vagina as much as he wants, cause once pregnant, she can’t get pregnant again. It’s the best anticonception ever. Just know a bitch up and she can’t get pregnant again. I just wonder what Karolina Kurkova’s belly button is going to look like when her belly stretched around the fetus. There’s no belly button to begin with and with all the stretch on the skin it’s gonna look… well, we’ll just have to wait for paparazzi photos to see once that baby bump starts to show.

BTW, did you know that the belly button situation was addressed by her rep when speculation of it not existing surfaced and proved true? Her rep rep said that Karolina Kurkova had an operation when she was an infant. It was not specified what the operation involved, but some specialists guess that the deformation of a belly button can occur as result of an umbilical hernia. If you see Victoria Secret photos of Karolina Kurkova with normal looking belly button, you know they photoshopped someone else’s on. Archie Drury approves.

Remember when Emma Watson flashed her pussy? It was the hottest moment in world’s history. This time around she flashed her underwear and it wasn’t her doing. During the premiere of the latest Harry Potter movie titled Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, Emma Watson offered underwear flash after a gust of wind opened up her Victorian style dress. Notorious London weather blessed downtown London with heavy rain leaving Daniel Radcliffe drenched and Emma Watson exposing her underwear. When an act of nature strikes to expose the underwear of the most gorgeous creature walking the Earth, you know God exists.

The following day, Emma Watson was on The Late Night Show with David Letterman and was asked to explain what was going on in the picture of her with exposed underwear. With her angelic voice bearing super sexy British accent, Emma Watson simply said: “This was a small wardrobe malfunction, that happens. I don’t actually remember when that happened… At least I’m wearing underwear“. God exists, Emma Watson is the proof. Even though if she was not wearing underwear in that photo, we’d know the Earth is coming to an end and is getting immediately upgraded to a paradise.

Check out the video of Emma Watson on David Letterman explaining her underwear flash situation with that ultra sexy accent and a gallery of photos from London’s premiere of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince with Emma Watson flashing her underwear:

Australian magazine NW has it that Kristen Stewart from Twilight is knocked up and her Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson is the daddy. Kristen Stewart who plays the role of Bella Swan in the Twilight Saga is allegedly devastated because she never got her menstruation on time and was too afraid to go to the drug store to pick up a pregnancy test herself because the paparazzi are on her at all times. NW maintains that Kristen Stewart sent her good friend to pick up that pregnancy test and the big news of her being knocked up is allegedly true. Who knows? Tabloids are always after big sales and nothing sells better than an overinflated story involving currently popular celebrity. The rumors of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson being romantically involved on only in the Twilight movie, but also in real life have been floating around the blogosphere for a while, so what best way to increase sales than by claiming that Kristen Stewart is knocked up? Eyes of millions teenagers are affixed on upcoming Twilight sequel titled New Moon. Any shocking news involving the cast is bound to attract attention.

So here we go. It was only a matter of time before mainstream tabloid pushes hoax to a whole new level and claims that Kristen Stewart is knocked up. When Jamie Lynn Spears got pregnant, it was a massive, massive news so any news involving pregnancy of a young girl is bound to make it big. Granted, Kristen Stewart is older than Jamie Lynn Spears where she got pregnant, but she’s also the most talked about young actress right now. We’ll just have to wait and see what comes out of this. My guess is that NW is full of poop.

However I can totally imagine Robert Pattinson inserting his penis into Kristen Stewart’s vagina and ejaculating full load of semen all over her cervix. Little baby child would start forming in her womb and knocked up she would have been. But with filming of New Moon now concluded, Kristen Stewart is lined up to shoot sequel to a sequel titled Eclipse, not to mention that she’s currently shooting Joan Jett biopic The Runaways. If Robert Pattinson knocked Kristen Stewart up, we will never know for sure. She’s young and has many roles lined up for her. If Kristen Stewart is knocked up, she will have the fetus aborted before it becomes official and we’ll never know for sure. That’s my guess.

Here’s a Morgan Freeman affair visual – 27-year-old E’Dena Hines wraps her lips around the dick of 72-year-old Morgan Freeman, sucks on it, nibbles on it, licks around the glands and chews on testicules. Then gives it a hand stroke and shoves it deep down into her throat and keeps blowing it while her one hand massages the balls and the other one massages the…. prostate through that saggy anal cavity. You should have stopped reading as soon as I had said Morgan Freeman affair visual. Did you really want details of his secret love life with 27-year-old step-granddaughter? That shit is even hard to pronounce – affair with a step-granddaughter. I’m just uncertain what exactly was E’Dena Hines after. Did she want to be the only name on Morgan Freeman’s will? That would kind of make sense. I’d suck on old man’s limp dick if there was a nine digit number looking out of it.

As it turns out, Morgan Freeman’s affair with his 27-year-old step-granddaughter E’Dena Hines has been going on for 10 years. That’s a lot of limp dick cock sucking E’Dena Hines must have gone through and Morgan Freeman is still alive. Maybe it’s pure love. I know nothing about love so I can’t judge. Maybe E’Dena Hines genuinely fell in love with her step grandfather and put aside all political incorrectness and age difference. Afterall, it’s not incest if he’s your step-grandfather, is it? You’d have to be same blood, or do same family ties count as well?

Wait a minute… if Morgan Freeman was having that affair with E’Dena Hines for 10 years and she’s 27 year old now, that would mean he started plunging his tongue into her vagina when she was still underage. Damn Morgan Porterfield Freeman, Jr. Have you lost your fucking mind? I feel like stabbing kittens with dull fork after all this. Let’s hope it turns out being a dumb joke. Afterall, it was National Enquirer that broke the news first. I know National Enquirer is anything but a trusted source, but they occasionally get shit right and seem to be rather serious about this affair. Morgan Freeman + E’Dena Hines = match made in heaven.

Megan Fox must have had a glassful of camel milk for breakfast that morning in Paris. Paparazzi caught up with her just as she was about to board a plane and they were greeted by a giant camel toe peaking at them form between her thighs. You know camel toes are a sign of undeveloped pussy right? Healthy vulva has protruding labia to chew on. Camel toes suggest that the labia is near non existent which makes any pussy look like an extended ass crack. Megan Fox can make up for camel toe with really wicked hair.

I like the way she’s dressed. Chicks can never go wrong wearing casual house clothes. For one it makes the camel toe stand up (for those who care) and secondly – you don’t have to kill your erection spending five minutes undoing some stupid belt. Some belts are a bitch to undo. With simple sportswear like Megan Fox is wearing in these photos, you just pull it down and inside the camel toe you go. Simple, easy to remember. I also like how Megan Fox developed an ability to casually hide her nasty thumbs.

Gallery with more Megan Fox Camel Toe pictures is below. All images by Bauer Griffin Online

This mash-up contains so much idiocy I don’t even know where to start. Paris Hilton got into a food fight with Kendhal Beal – blond ho from the photo above. Kendhal Beal is a nobody, a wannabe model and a wishful actress and by the looks of it, she’s ready to throw her vagina at any direction from where she could embark on her journey to becoming a publicized ho. Her wish was partially granted when Doug Reinhardt came her way.

Doug Reinhardt was at the time a boyfriend of Paris Hilton but sheer elegance of plastic blondie Kendhal Beal bewitched him and moron started dreaming of nirvana engulfed in Kendhal’s pussy juices. We all would have no idea anything like that went down, but it appears sources of Paris Hilton knew that and when Paris met with Kendhal face to face in LA’s Darkroom Club, the encounter turned into a food fight. That’s right, two blondes food fighting over Doug Reinhardt. Only one of the blondes is actually rich where as the other one is simply plastic. Paris Hilton wins.

23 year old wannabe model from , Houston, Texas claims that Paris started it and threw ice and fruit at her while calling her all sort of nasty names. Doug Reinhardt probably never buried his face into Kendhal Beal’s vagina. He was simply seen hanging out with the company of friends and she was there too. If that’s really the case, then Paris Hilton had just helped a clueless wannabe model to fast forward her non existent career. What more could Kendhal Beal wish for. She’s just a plastic looking blonde who had no life before her. Now she’s talked about all thanks to Paris Hilton. What blessings.

While I don’t mind Megan Fox and would certainly like to bury my perfect fingers in her perfect vagina, I never found her anything that exceptional. However many men think Megan Fox is perfect. Well… wake up – she’s not. Despite decent face, sexy body, presumably hot vagina and uber presumed ability to take it in the ass, Megan Fox is not perfect. This idol of so many men has toe style thumbs. Those are thumbs that look like bit tow on Oprah’s feet. Nothing you would want to suck on while she’s sucking on your penis.

While Megan Fox toe thumbs are not breaking news, many don’t seem to be aware of the fact and there is nothing more pleasurable than revealing the shit parts of women who think they are perfect. The joy of blowing self esteem of otherwise self important woman up her ass is the most rewarding experience ever.

Since her thumbs look like toes, I kind of hoped her toes would look like thumbs, which would make for an incredibly satisfying laughter, but it doesn’t seem to be the case. As it turns out, Megan Fox has actually half decent feet so no mocking her that way. She also looks like kind of a chick who would have properly developed vagina. Women with undeveloped vaginas have that odd Barbie doll look. Labia on Megan Fox surely is a decent size. I was also thinking – toe thumbs, while not appealing to men will likely appeal to women – cause they look like butt plugs. I can see lesbians getting all worked up over the pics of Megan Fox toe thumbs. Ummm, yumm!

Gallery of photos with Megan Fox’s toe thumbs is below: