Beer Steak Bullshit

Even though I’m not a Michael Jackson fan and never have been, I recognize his contributions to the music industry and humanity as general. His music did not speak to me, but it spoke and still does to millions upon millions. His death was a shock. It came out of the blue, without warning and without signs. May the King of Pop rest in peace (BTW, what we refer to as “pop” here in Canada is what our American friends refer to as “soda” but that’s not the point. We’re talking about a different type of pop). Above is the video of my favorite Michael Jackson song. Give In To Me was recorded with Slash, legendary Guns’n'Roses guitarist on guitar. RIP, Michael Jackson.

I love watching videos that inspire. And I truly felt inspired watching this video. That’s a whole lotta ganja they got there going. I don’t know where the video is from, but they’ve got a big operation happening. Seeing how some people are growing and using ganja on a large scale makes me wanna re-thing my life’s priorities. Good rave music in this video too. And lots and lots of ganja. June 25th should be the international ganja day. No particular reason, I just feel inspired. Ganja inspires. OK, I’ll shut up already. Just one more puff….

As public embarrassment and humiliation of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford continues following his press conference confession that he had an affair with an Argentinean mistress Maria Belen Chapur, further details, including steamy emails he was sending to Maria surfaced to push the embarrassment and humiliation to a whole new level. So without further ado, check out the romantic emails that South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford sent to his long distance mistress Maria Belen Chapur:

Email From Gov. Mark Sanford,
To Maria Belen Chapur
Sent on Thursday, July 10, 2008, 12:24 a.m.

“One, tomorrow leave at 5 a.m. for New York and meetings. Will think about you on its streets and wish I was going to be there later in the month when you are there. Tomorrow night back to Philadelphia for the start of the National Governor’s Conference through the weekend. Back to Columbia for Tuesday and then on Wednesday, as I think I had told you, taking the family to China, Tibet, Nepal, India, Thailand and then back through Hong Kong on world wind tour. Few days home then to Bahamas for 5 days on a friend’s boat for the last break of the summer. The following weekend have been asked to spend it out in Aspen, Colorado with McCain – which has kicked up the whole VP talk all over again in the press back home …

Two, mutual feelings …. You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light – but hey, that would be going into sexual details …

Three and finally, while all the things above are all too true – at the same time we are in a hopelessly – or as you put it impossible – or how about combine and simply say hopelessly impossible situation of love. How in the world this lightening strike snuck up on us I am still not quite sure. As I have said to you before I certainly had a special feeling about you from the first time we met, but these feelings were contained and I genuinely enjoyed our special friendship and the comparing of all too many personal notes …

Lastly I also suspect I feel a little vulnerable because this is ground I have never certainly never covered before – so if you have pearls of wisdom on how we figure all this out please let me know… In the meantime please sleep soundly knowing that despite the best efforts of my head my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul.”

Email From Maria Belen Chapur
To Governor Mark Sanford
Sent on Wednesday, July 9, 2008 8:14 p.m.

“As I told you I shouldn’t have done this trip but I would have felt worst if I wouldn’t have come because it was too over the date, he is a very nice guy, great heart … but unfortunately I am not in love with him … You are my love … something hard to believe even for myself as it’s also a kind of impossible love, not only because of distance but situation. Sometimes you don’t choose things, they just happen… I can’t redirect my feelings and I am very happy with mine towards you.”

Email From Gov. Mark Sanford,
To Maria Belen Chapur
Sent on Tuesday, July 8, 1:42 a.m.

“Got back an hour ago to civilization and am now in Columbia after what was for me a glorious break from reality down at the farm. No phones ringing and tangible evidence of a day’s labors. Though I have started every day by 6 this morning woke at 4:30, I guess since my body knew it was the last day, and I went out and ran the excavator with lights until the sun came up. To me, and I suspect no one else on earth, there is something wonderful about listening to country music playing in the cab, air conditioner running, the hum of a huge diesel engine in the back ground, the tranquility that comes with being in a virtual wilderness of trees and marsh, the day breaking and vibrant pink coming alive in the morning clouds – and getting to build something with each scoop of dirt.”

Wow, did he really say this in an email: “I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light – but hey, that would be going into sexual details…” That’s too much for me. I wish I was sent such eloquent and poetic emails. Ahh well. Kudos to Governor Mark Sanford for being such a gentleman in his emails but still… what was he thinking?

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford Photo Credit: Getty Images

The story of Mark Sanford’s Affair with Argentinean mistress is becoming weirder. Previously, Beer Steak was the only independent news source that correctly identified the reasons behind the disappearance of South Carolina Governor. Today, the name of a hooker from Buenos Aires, Argentina for whom Mark Sanford ruined his well set in place life for. Her name is Maria Belen Shapur.

Who the Eff is Maria Belen Shapur?

First of all, Maria Belen Shapur (sometimes spelled as Maria Belen Chapur) is 43 year old. What the hell? I can’t wrap my head around it – what the hell was Mark Sanford thinking? He was a governor of South Carolina. A career made in heaven. He had a wife – Jenny Sanford who comes from a family of millionaires, owners or power tool company Skil. He had everything vast majority of people could only dream of and will never achieve in their entire lives. Why mess with a mess of a hooker from Argentina? Maria Belen Shapur is effing 43 year old. Don’t they have professional hookers who take your money and leave in South Carolina? If Mark Sanford desired some extraordinary services, something that his wife Jenny Sanford would not do, he could always pay the likes of filthy whore Ashley Alexandra Dupre, get a little ass spanking from this type of hooker mistress and be done with it for a few hundred dollars. What is he left with now? A nasty mistress from Argentina? WTF? Give me your life, Mark Sanford and I’ll never touch any Maria Belen Shapur. I’d never touch her now and I have no life. Why did you get involved with likes of Maria Belen Shapur being who you are? BTW, when I said “Give me your life, Mark Sanford” I meant “ex life”, life when you were a governor making shit loads of money with a wife whose family is loaded beyond words. Damn dude, what were you thinking?

Maria Belen Shapur works for a multinational agricultural company Bunge y Born. She has two sons (that’s a whole lotta sons, governor Mark Sanford has four). Maria Belen Shapur lives in Buenos Aires, near the zoo in prestigious Palermo District. Her apartment is on the 14th floor. No wonder she lives in poshy area getting sponsorship money from her boy pet Governor of South Carolina.

The photo above allegedly pictures that mistress Maria Belen Shapur. I don’t get it. She’s supposed to be 43 year old. Either that photo was taken before she was all wrinkly with saggy tits, or that’s not her. I’m betting on the latter. I don’t trust any Argentinean mistress to look this hawt.

Hands down, Maria Belen Shapur ranks at the top of the list of the most successful gold diggers of all times. What’s Mark Sanford going to do now? Move to Argentina and pay “protection money” to the mafia in Buenos Aires? Unreal!

I hate to be the one to say that but… I told you. When peculiar disappearance of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford came to a closing by his re-appearance yesterday, I suspected right away that we should check which high politician hooker has governor semen on her hands. Was I right? Hellz yeah I was. And kudos to Governor Mark Sanford for stepping up and admitting to an affair on his own. The video from a press conference where he confessed to an affair with a cum eater from Argentina is above, check it out. I like the guy.

The only beef I have with Governor Mark Sanford is that he had an affair with a hooker from Argentina? What is he insane. Could he not go for something cuter, like Thailand or Slovakia? Argentina screams filth at me from across the room. I hope she took it in the ass, Governor, otherwise you have effed up your career and family for a ho who doesn’t even do anal (aka waste of time).

The video from the press conference is a bit long. Mark Sanford does lay it out, but it takes him forever. He goes on and on apologizing and then apologizing some more and listing all the people he let down and the press conference just keeps going and going. Dude, should have saved us some time and lay it out straight – Sorry folks, I fucked up. I had an affair with a hooker from Argentina, I regret it and will resign to leave with my stupidity. Stupid ho wasn’t even worth it. Sorry! – end of press conference.

Even though she looks like a toddler in the photo above, the girl on the left is 16 year old Brooke Greenberg. That girl on the right is her “little” sister Carly Greenberg who is 9. Brooke Greenberg does not age. Her body is still that of an infant and her mental capacity matches the age of a toddler. Brooke Greenberg turned 16 in January. Scientists and doctors are now looking at her for answers on genetics behind aging. Could she be the fountain of youth?

The story of Brooke Greenberg – a girl who doesn’t age also fascinates the scientists because different parts of her body age differently. She has baby teeth, but her bones have the structure of a 10 year old. When it comes to her brain, there’s been little to no changes in it since she was born and so despite being 16 year old, Brooke Greenberg still acts like a toddler. Her body ages though and she’s already gone through number of more or less serious diseases, including strokes, seizures, ulcers, tumors and severe respiratory problems. She’s been close to death on a few occasions but she’s always bounced back and came on top. Doctors have no explanations for it, there are no names for the condition other than urban “eternal youth”.

Check out the video below. It was filmed a few years ago, when Brooke Greenberg was 12. There is an interview with her parents Howard and Melanie Greenberg and a pediatrician Dr. Lawrence Pakula explaining how puzzling the story of Brooke Greenberg is.

Big controversy in South Carolina – Mark Sanford, the Republican governor disappeared and nobody knew where he was. He was last seen by his wife Jenny Sanford, who said Mark Sanford took off in a black SUV last Thursday and there’s been no word from him since. They know how to rock and roll in South Carolina.

Jenny Sanford told the Associated Press that her husband Mark Sanford wrote a nite that he wanted to get away from the kids and have a little space for himself. When asked about his disappearance, the spokes person for the governor’s office said that South Carolina Governor was “taking some time away from the office”.

Mark Sanford was unreachable on either of his cell phones – a personal one and a state issued one. After 4 days of not having heard from him, the case of South Carolina Governor’s disappearance has started to turn peculiar. But it was all needless.

Mark Sanford’s communication director Joel Sawyer told the press today that the governor will be returning to his office tomorrow. What an anticlimactic end to a mysterious case of vanished state official. The word is that the governor spent his time hiking along the Appalachian Trail and when he called to check in with his chief of staff, he was shocked to hear that his little trip attracted so much interest. Joel Sawyer said that: “It would be fair to say the governor was somewhat taken aback by all of the interest this trip has gotten,”

I say: “It would be fair to check whether Ashley Alexandra Dupre or other governor facilitator has gone missing at the same time”

Photo of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford by Getty Images

19 year old Australian actress Mia Wasikowska has been cast to play the role of Alice Kingsley in the upcoming Tim Burton’s feature movie rendition of Lewis Carroll’s tale Alice in Wonderland. Mia Wasikowska will be playing Alice Kingsley alongside Johnny Depp who plays Mad Hatter, Helena Bonham Carter who’s the Red Queen and Anne Hathaway as the White Queen.

Mia Wasikowska has appeared in some B-List movies but she’s generally an unknown actress to most and now she’ll be in a movie directed by Tim Burton with some big names, such as Johnny Depp. If she gets recognized, it would be from her role as Sophie in the HBO series “In Treatment”. Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland will be available in 3D format. The release date is set for March of 2010.

From Alice in Wonderland still released so far, it looks as though Mia Wasikowska will be the only actress in the movie who will have a “normal” appearance. All other actors and actresses will clothes and make ups worthy of Tim Burton’s imagination. Alice in Wonderland is being shot in Cornwall, England and from reports of insiders, the movie will be a mixture of live acting and computer generated CGI.

Photo of Mia Wasikowska as Alice Kingsley in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland by Goff/INFphoto.com

Here’s a Morgan Freeman affair visual – 27-year-old E’Dena Hines wraps her lips around the dick of 72-year-old Morgan Freeman, sucks on it, nibbles on it, licks around the glands and chews on testicules. Then gives it a hand stroke and shoves it deep down into her throat and keeps blowing it while her one hand massages the balls and the other one massages the…. prostate through that saggy anal cavity. You should have stopped reading as soon as I had said Morgan Freeman affair visual. Did you really want details of his secret love life with 27-year-old step-granddaughter? That shit is even hard to pronounce – affair with a step-granddaughter. I’m just uncertain what exactly was E’Dena Hines after. Did she want to be the only name on Morgan Freeman’s will? That would kind of make sense. I’d suck on old man’s limp dick if there was a nine digit number looking out of it.

As it turns out, Morgan Freeman’s affair with his 27-year-old step-granddaughter E’Dena Hines has been going on for 10 years. That’s a lot of limp dick cock sucking E’Dena Hines must have gone through and Morgan Freeman is still alive. Maybe it’s pure love. I know nothing about love so I can’t judge. Maybe E’Dena Hines genuinely fell in love with her step grandfather and put aside all political incorrectness and age difference. Afterall, it’s not incest if he’s your step-grandfather, is it? You’d have to be same blood, or do same family ties count as well?

Wait a minute… if Morgan Freeman was having that affair with E’Dena Hines for 10 years and she’s 27 year old now, that would mean he started plunging his tongue into her vagina when she was still underage. Damn Morgan Porterfield Freeman, Jr. Have you lost your fucking mind? I feel like stabbing kittens with dull fork after all this. Let’s hope it turns out being a dumb joke. Afterall, it was National Enquirer that broke the news first. I know National Enquirer is anything but a trusted source, but they occasionally get shit right and seem to be rather serious about this affair. Morgan Freeman + E’Dena Hines = match made in heaven.

Seriously – I hate Barack Obama as much as the next guy, but when it comes to retards at PETA, no one can beat them. If you haven’t seen the spectacle, the video of Barack Obama killing a fly is below. The president was interviewed by CNBC and some annoying fly paid no respect so Barack Obama showed it who the boss is. Now PETA is voicing their opinion that the president should have served a better example than by swatting and killing a fly publically. What better example you idiots? What was he supposed to do when he’s trying to address important matters and he’s being distracted by an obnoxious fly? It’s not like you’re gonna tell the fly that we’re on the air and it’s gonna wait till you’re done. Barack Obama did the right thing and that’s actually the first time I’m saying that. Too bad he effs up everything else.

Now, I truly understand the idea of compassion for animals of any size but let’s not confuse animals with parasites. PETA is obviously made of publicity hungry attention whores who jump at any occasions to get a bit of a spotlight. If this fly killing is not entirely and needlessly blown out of proportions, then I don’t know what is. Reports have it that Barack Obama was sent a Katcha Bug™ – a device made for human catching of bugs which can then be released back into the open. Video of Barack Obama skillfully killing a fly is below: