Beer Steak Bullshit

Megan Fox must have had a glassful of camel milk for breakfast that morning in Paris. Paparazzi caught up with her just as she was about to board a plane and they were greeted by a giant camel toe peaking at them form between her thighs. You know camel toes are a sign of undeveloped pussy right? Healthy vulva has protruding labia to chew on. Camel toes suggest that the labia is near non existent which makes any pussy look like an extended ass crack. Megan Fox can make up for camel toe with really wicked hair.

I like the way she’s dressed. Chicks can never go wrong wearing casual house clothes. For one it makes the camel toe stand up (for those who care) and secondly – you don’t have to kill your erection spending five minutes undoing some stupid belt. Some belts are a bitch to undo. With simple sportswear like Megan Fox is wearing in these photos, you just pull it down and inside the camel toe you go. Simple, easy to remember. I also like how Megan Fox developed an ability to casually hide her nasty thumbs.

Gallery with more Megan Fox Camel Toe pictures is below. All images by Bauer Griffin Online

When Artie Lange mentioned on Joe Buck Live that there are coyotes fucking 18 year old girls on the internet, I immediately started to pay attention. Sucker did not say where and searching for it on my own proved to be a bitch. Wanna be comedians are just like that – they’d turn you on, drive up expectations, and then they’d leave you there unsatisfied. Artie Lange, you bastard (Joe Buck surely rephrased this line in his mind many a time as he watched Artie Lange completely destroying his show).

Joe Buck Live Show premiered last night on HBO.com – yes, it was an internet broadcast talk show and it doesn’t look like it went the way Joe Buck would have wished. There was an online only segment the video of which is below and one of the guests was the joke buddy of Howard Stern’s – Artie Lange. Since this was Joe Buck’s first show which was in the works for half of year, I’m pretty sure he was banging his head against the wall to have invited Artie Lange to be a part of it. And I’m also pretty sure Artie Lange ain’t getting no more invites to any shows anymore.

While it was kind of funny, Artie Lange surely is a big try hard. I’m all for intelligent humor, but the moment you try hard to make sure you come up with a line that must be offensive, then you are a joke. Funny people don’t need to try hard and throw a line that makes you giggle. Artie Lange doesn’t reach that level of intelligence, so he tries hard. The result is in the video below:

Fact – sales of Kevin Klein are going to sky rocket this week. This is what I would call a perfect marketing campaign. Any marketing that doesn’t upset anyone is money wasted. Whereas if you come with an idea that stirs up controversy and gets everyone upset, especially the ranks of religious prudes, you know you’re gonna get insane media coverage and that drives sales. Latest Kevin Klein Billboard delivers just that. The billboard is posted in SoHo on Houston Street and Lafayette Street and shows four people engaging in what could be classified as sexually charged. There is definitely a threesome going on with another stomach revealing man at the feet of another not engaging in sex, but still being present, suggesting possible foursome. When it comes to billboards, Kevin Klein hit the nail on its head.

Of course random passer byers let themselves head immediately after the billboard was posted calling it “borderline pornographic”. Borderline pornographic my ass. I could never get off to that. There is an unfair man to women ratio on the billboard. There is only one topless girl making out with two topless men while another near topless man dreams of gay sex (that’s the way I see it).

To be honest, I’m kind of upset by the billboard myself. Seriously, we need more topless women than men on our billboard. I don’t know about Kevin Klein, but becoming a fashion designer often means that one is gay. That’s perhaps why the billboard has a sausage fest feel. Where the hell are provocative billboards with chick threesomes. I’m offended. Take that billboard down now!

Kevin Klein Billboard Photo by Costanza, New York Daily News

It’s Friday afternoon, we need some items for men. Bia and Bianca Feres are identical twins form Brazil. The twins practice synchronized swimming and almost made it to the Olympic Games in Beijing to represent their home country of Brazil but didn’t make it on the boat. It makes no difference to the fact that they are one extremely hot couple of beach bodies. Surprisingly enough, the Feres Twins don’t look typically Brazilian. They are actually hot and natural. Both are naturally blond, have their own boobs and no penis in the underwear. Nice feminine look to both of them and that must be the first time I’m saying that about a Brazilian chick – I’d hit that. OK, I’m lying, I’d even hit a tranny if it came down to it, I’m so sex deprived but it changes nothing on the fact that Bia and Bianca Feres are ridiculously hot.

To make good use of the fact that Bia and Bianca are identical twins and that they both look incredibly hot, MTV Brazil employed the twins and gave them their own show. I can already see piles of North Americans buying new satellite receivers that can get Brazilian channels. Portuguese may still be an issue, but who cares what two blonds blabber about, just show those asses and we have a deal.

The gallery with lots of pics of Feres Twins is below. Nice material.

This mash-up contains so much idiocy I don’t even know where to start. Paris Hilton got into a food fight with Kendhal Beal – blond ho from the photo above. Kendhal Beal is a nobody, a wannabe model and a wishful actress and by the looks of it, she’s ready to throw her vagina at any direction from where she could embark on her journey to becoming a publicized ho. Her wish was partially granted when Doug Reinhardt came her way.

Doug Reinhardt was at the time a boyfriend of Paris Hilton but sheer elegance of plastic blondie Kendhal Beal bewitched him and moron started dreaming of nirvana engulfed in Kendhal’s pussy juices. We all would have no idea anything like that went down, but it appears sources of Paris Hilton knew that and when Paris met with Kendhal face to face in LA’s Darkroom Club, the encounter turned into a food fight. That’s right, two blondes food fighting over Doug Reinhardt. Only one of the blondes is actually rich where as the other one is simply plastic. Paris Hilton wins.

23 year old wannabe model from , Houston, Texas claims that Paris started it and threw ice and fruit at her while calling her all sort of nasty names. Doug Reinhardt probably never buried his face into Kendhal Beal’s vagina. He was simply seen hanging out with the company of friends and she was there too. If that’s really the case, then Paris Hilton had just helped a clueless wannabe model to fast forward her non existent career. What more could Kendhal Beal wish for. She’s just a plastic looking blonde who had no life before her. Now she’s talked about all thanks to Paris Hilton. What blessings.

While I don’t mind Megan Fox and would certainly like to bury my perfect fingers in her perfect vagina, I never found her anything that exceptional. However many men think Megan Fox is perfect. Well… wake up – she’s not. Despite decent face, sexy body, presumably hot vagina and uber presumed ability to take it in the ass, Megan Fox is not perfect. This idol of so many men has toe style thumbs. Those are thumbs that look like bit tow on Oprah’s feet. Nothing you would want to suck on while she’s sucking on your penis.

While Megan Fox toe thumbs are not breaking news, many don’t seem to be aware of the fact and there is nothing more pleasurable than revealing the shit parts of women who think they are perfect. The joy of blowing self esteem of otherwise self important woman up her ass is the most rewarding experience ever.

Since her thumbs look like toes, I kind of hoped her toes would look like thumbs, which would make for an incredibly satisfying laughter, but it doesn’t seem to be the case. As it turns out, Megan Fox has actually half decent feet so no mocking her that way. She also looks like kind of a chick who would have properly developed vagina. Women with undeveloped vaginas have that odd Barbie doll look. Labia on Megan Fox surely is a decent size. I was also thinking – toe thumbs, while not appealing to men will likely appeal to women – cause they look like butt plugs. I can see lesbians getting all worked up over the pics of Megan Fox toe thumbs. Ummm, yumm!

Gallery of photos with Megan Fox’s toe thumbs is below:

Rumors of who Britney Spears is rubbing her vagina with are very popular. When it comes to her agent Jason Trawick, the rumor of the two dating are nothing new. The same rumor hit the websphere the same time last year – maybe it’s an annual thing. Check out “Jason Trawick – Closer Look at Britney Spears Agent” for more info on last year’s alleged romance.

I was curious though – anybody knows what happened to Sundip Soparrkar? There was a big boo boo that he was throwing his penis into Britney Spears’ vagina about 6 months ago and somehow it got all forgotten. I thought that was something serious yet nothing again. Jason Trawick is a repeated romance. If it didn’t work last year, I doubt it will work this year. It’s likely just another over inflated story after the two were seen dry humping each other. Dry humping sucks, you just wet your pants with excitement juices but no semen comes out cause it’s not good enough.

Anyway, in the latest release of Jason Trawick dating Britney Spears rumor it is said that this time around it’s serious and that daddy Spears loves the guy. If daddy spears approved, the penis can go into a vagina. Nothing makes it to Britney Spears’ vagina unless Daddy Spears puts his seal of approval on it.

PS – yea, I’m back from my 10 days long trip to Iceland so there will be updates again. The trip was epic… did you miss me?

Romanian tennis star Simona Halep who sports 34DD tits is going for breast reduction because her melons are getting in the way when she’s playing tennis. In a recent interview with British The Sun, 17 year old Simona Halep said:

This fall I’ll have a breast reduction operation. The breasts make me uncomfortable when I play. It’s the weight that troubles me – my ability to react quickly.

I could not be in any more support of this breast surgery. First of all – anything more than a handful is a waste and secondly – if her tits are this big now that she’s 17, they’re gonna sag and drag along the road as she walks once she’s 27. Besides, we live in the 21st century. The time of ugly, big breasted women of the 60’s are over. We have internet now and know that real men prefer smaller breasts. You’re not only going to be able to play tennis better, , you will also look better. Get rid of that tumor on your chest. There are only advantages to it.

I have long been the supporter of smaller breasts and perhaps now that Simona Halep is going for breast reduction it will open up the eyes of many women who are considering plastic surgery to have their breasts enlarged – nobody cares for big tits. The only breast surgery that makes sense is breast reduction. Whether you do it for reasons similar to Simona Halep – aka to be able to perform in your profession better, or whether you do it to look better and to appeal to wider range of men, breast reduction should be the only plastic surgery any woman gets done on their chest.

Simona Halep – lead the way. Show women that having breast reduction can make them more successful and hotter looking. I’m looking forward to the “after pic” of hotter you. In the meantime, let’s take a look at “before pics”. Yeah, tits too big!

…and a video of Simona Halep playing tennis with those giant boobs grossly bouncing up and down:

PS – I’m on vacation in Iceland until June 10th. There may be no updates until I have returned to good ole Canada.

There is plain and simple too much pressure on Susan Boyle. Susan is literally Boyle-ing over and it’s starting to take its toll. Within the span of last week, the most popular Scottish woman exploded in a series of fuck filled tirades, dropping F-Bombs here and there in outbursts of rage. Susan needs to get herself a publicist who would cover out for her flip outs and make it look like she’s a victim, because she really is, in this case. Unlike seasoned celebrities who are simply too spoiled and like the spotlight, Susan Boyle’s world has turned upside down overnight. No one could handle that with grace.

The pressure escalated yesterday when couple of punks decided to poke fun at Susan Boyle while she was in the lobby of North London’s Wembley Plaza Hotel. Susan flipped out and yelled: “How fucking dare you! You can’t fucking talk to me like that.” The police were present and intervened by asking Susan if there was a problem. Susan responded with style by saying: “Of course there’s a fucking problem.”

Reports from Britain also say that Susan Boyle flipped out in another fuck filled tirade as she was watching Britain’s Got Talent and judge Piers Morgan gave praise to fellow Britain’s Got Talent contestant Shaheen Jafargholi, calling it the best pound for pound singing performance. Susan watched it in the lobby of a hotel with other people present, flipped the fuck out, dropped the F-Bomb, did a hip wiggle, took a U-Turn and darted off.

Susan Boyle became the most popular person on the internet for a few days. The video of her audition to Britain’s Got Talent remains the most watched video on YouTube. At 48, this is all she could ever wish for. She can taste fame, she can taste popularity, she’s got it all within reach but there are still obstacles, it seems. There are other talented people, there are also people who (for whatever reason) may not like her or her singing and that puts way too much pressure on her. She knows she must win Britain’s Got Talent. She can’t otherwise. but that forces her to feel stressed out and that’s why her second round (semifinals) performance wasn’t as flawless as her audition.

Susan Boyle definitely has talent and deserves to win Britain’s Got Talent and embark on a path to being a famous singer, just the way Elaine Paige, her idol is. But so much depends on it, she’s stressed out and under pressure she’s never known. It results in not so stellar singing and flip outs with frequent F-Bombs. Mind you, F-Bombs in Scottish must sound pretty hot. If I married Susan Boyle, I’d ask her to unleash the most ruthless fuck tirade with the rawest Scottish accent she can pull off while I’m pounding her doggy style. Good times.

I could never understand the fuss around Adriana Lima. The ho looks too plastic to me. Some people even used to go as far as calling her “the sexiest woman in the world” – that would have been sad world if that were true. Everybody knows that the sexiest woman in the world is Susan Boyle. Adriana Lima has got nothing on Susan, but let’s not talk glamour in a post about fug spawn. Marko Jaric shoved him man penis into Adriana Lima’s vagina and let the content of his testicules erupt releasing an avalanche of hot semen right into the woman’s womb. How’s Adriana Lima attractive now? Did you picture her with Marko Jaric’s sperm oozing out of her worn out vagina? There was so much semen deposited inside her womb that it forced its way through ass membranes and some even leaked out of her ass. That would have been a newly discovered phenomenon called “anal creampie without anal sex”. I’m sure Adriana Lima doesn’t take Marko Jaric’s cock in the ass. Plastic Barbie dolls don’t do anal. You need a real woman to experience real sex.

The sperm of Marko Jaric left panty creamer Adriana Lima pregnant. Basketball player Marko Jaric married Adriana Lima on this year’s Valentine’s Day. I’d laugh my ass off if the baby was born with silly pubestache like the one Marko Jaric is sporting under his crossed eyes.