Beer Steak Bullshit

I’m glad someone put Rashad Evans in place. Lyoto Machida took on the chellenge of sorting Rashad Evans out and he did not disappoint. The Lyoto Machida vs Rashad Evans fight was part of UFC 98 which took place on May 23, 2009 at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. And as you can see form the video below, Lyoto Machida knocked Rashad Evans right the eff out of this galaxy. Nice ownage.

The Dragon Lyoto Machida secured himself a title of the light-heavy weight champion and his scorecard shows an amazing 15-0. I can’t think of any other light-heavyweight who could beat him. Lyoto Machida is the poop but the best thing is how insanely he owned Rashad Evans.

Watch the Lyoto Machida vs Rashad Evans UFC 98 Knockout Video below:

Bacon flavored Vodka is the new pink. That’s right, as if Vodka by itself wasn’t gross enough, now your favorite headache inducer comes in flavors of bacon. Bakon Vodka, the Vodka makers as well as Black Rock Spirits, the investor group behind Bakon Vodka – are seeing growing interest in their bacon flavored Vodka and the sales have been soaring.

Each time I think I have seen it all, along comes someone who proves at the whim of their dick that I ain’t seen nothing yet. Humans are gullible and I am inspired. If people are eager enough to buy bacon flavored Vodka and let Bakon Vodka cash in on it big time, I should enter the market with something even more engaging and make my first billion dollars – Pussy flavored Vodka. I’m telling ya, bacon ain’t nothing. Add some tuna to the mix and you got it rolling. I’ll be laughing on my way to the bank after half the world starts buying my pussy flavored Vodka. And when the market gets stagnant, I’ll introduce dick flavored Vodka for the ever increasing gay population and fine, lonely ladies.

And because I’m such a marketing genius, I will also offer gift sets with extras:

• Aged Pussy Flavored Vodka with Complimentary Pubic Hair – $100
• Aged Dick Flavored Vodka with Complimentary Smegma – $150

Aren’t I a genius? Here’s to wealth. May the stinkiest Vodka win.

Susan Boyle stepped on the stage of Britain’s Got Talent for the second time to follow up on undisputed success her first performance delivered. Second round video shows Susan Boyle having shaky start missing several notes but she soon caught on and then it was stellar. Even though she stated that she was not nervous at all, she must have been. There was tremendous pressure on her shoulders after having become such a massive celebrity overnight. To absolutely nobody’s surprise, Susan Boyle won the semi finals. People clearly realized that despite the “cool cat” surface, there’s a lot of pressure underneath which affected the singing a little, and gave Susan Boyle their semi final vote.

I didn’t think the choice of song – Memory from musical Cats was very good. It’s an approved song that everybody knows which can be a good thing or a bad thing. In this case I think it was a bad thing. Her performance of I Dreamed a Dream had much bigger impact because it is not as well known a song, yet it’s equally powerful. I think Susan Boyle is too focused on being a Elaine Paige copycat and sings every song Elaine does. Susan needs to start being herself and forget about Elaine Paige. She can sweep her off the table with the back of her hand, but must start pacing her own way.

Be the judge yourself. Was the second round performance of Susan Boyle disappointing? Did you expect more? Yes, everyone thought Susan Boyle was perfect. She proved to us that she’s human just as everybody else is. Blackburn in Scotland is not second Vatican yet. But even through imperfections, Susan Boyle is an amazing singer and her semi finals singing is the proof of that. Albeit, not the beginning of it. Video is below:

Source (including image): Daily Mail UK

Today’s hall of famer’s name is… Lai Jiansheng – 66 year old retired soldier who got fed up with indecisive suicidal man and solved his dilemma in style. This is what went down on Thursday May 21, 2009 in China: Lai Jiansheng was on his way to do some personal shit but got stuck in a major traffic jam on Haizhu Bridge in Guangzhou. He went out to find out what the hell was keeping him away from moving on and was told that there’s a guy by the name of Chen Fuchao contemplating suicide. Chen Fuchao has been up there for 5 hours and the police had the Haizhu bridge shut off and looking for the way to help suicidal man out. But Lai Jiansheng was not having any of that cheap crap.

66 year old grandpa Lai Jiansheng climbed up the construction of the bridge, reached Chen Fuchao, shook hands with him and pushed him off the bridge ultimately solving his “to jump or not to jump” dilemma. Grandpa Lai Jiansheng but have watched The Good, The Bad and The Ugly – especially the “When you have to shoot… shoot! Don’t talk!” part with Tuco and passed it on to Chen Fuchao in a little altered form – “When you have to jump… jump! Don’t don’t keep the traffic stuck for 5 hours!” See video reminder below.

After Lai Jiansheng pushed him off the bridge, Chen Fuchao fell 8 meters and landed on a partially inflated air cushion surviving the fall. He’s recovering in the hospital and claims that debt worries were the reason behind his suicide tendencies. While still on the Haizhu bridge, Lai Jiansheng waved at other by passers (that’s when photo above was captured – copyright AP) and climbed down. He was taken to police custody and said that he was fed up with Chen Fuchao’s selfish activity.

According to the police, Chen Fuchao was 2 Million yuan in debt (equivalent to $293,000 US) after his construction project failed. Now he’s gonna be pretty mad at Lai Jiansheng cause he’s alive which means he’ll have to pay off his debts. On the other hand, the bank that loaned Chen Fuchao money or the insurance company which would have to shell out if he went poof will surely appreciate Lai Jiansheng for saving them from losing 2 Million yuan. 66 year old grandma should be getting an appreciation check in the mail soon.

…and an actual video recording of Lai Jiansheng gracefully ending the suicide contemplation of Chen Fuchao:

Here’s an amazing vacation tip for the crazies (I’m looking into making it next year) – Boryeong Mud Festival in South Korea. It’s like jello wrestling with hot girls, only you’ll also get skin treatment with fine mud therapy. Boryeong Mud Festival attracts over 30,000 visitors from all over the world each year, lasts for 9 days and promises endless fun and excitement. I mean – forget about the carnival in Rio de Janeiro, go to Boryeong Mud Festival instead and make it a feast for your hands and the rest of your body, not just your eyes. When you enter the mud ring, there’ll be a lot of mud-touching, mud-couple-sliding, mud-skiing, mud-massaging, mud-bathing, mud-footballing, etc… it’s a hands on festival and as such is Beer Steak Bullshit approved.

The mud that people at Boryeong Mud Festival bathe in is rich in Germanium and other minerals known for their skin revitalizing properties. The festival was originally started with intentions to promote cosmetics manufactured from local mud but the popularity of the festival skyrocketed right primarily because of intense fun that all the mud activities involve.

If you’re able to take a last minute trip and catch Boryeong Mud Festival this year, the dates of the festival are July 12 – July 20, 2009. Boryeong City is located in South Korean Chungcheongnam-do province where the festivities are held on the Daecheon Beach. See you in South Korea in 2010 and check out the video from last year’s Boryeong Mud Festival below:

Are you ready to see the worst video of your life? Major American Idol failure by the name of Katrina Darrell who became known as the Bikini Girl after she auditioned for American idol in the bikini returned on the stage of American Idol to torture people’s eardrums some more, but this time she added another torturous element so not only your ears suffer, but also your eyes – fake tits. Ho must have got popular or something cause she decided to swap her boobs with a pair of nasty silicone bags. Not ever Ryan Seacrest was impressed with her fake tits. but then again – he’s just not impressed with tits in general. He dreams of cock. Katrina ‘Bikini Girl’ Darrell should have got her voice fixed instead of her tits cause that’s just as painful as it was before.

As Katrina ‘Bikini Girl’ Darrell started with her painful performance, she was joined on stage by American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi who kind of proved her point that she can sing better than Katrina Darrell. Kara even opened her robe at the end of performance to show her own bikini body which again – was hotter than Katrina Darrell’s. This was just not Katrina’s best day. She was humiliated beyond belief and hopefully sent back to where she belongs – a whore house.

The video of Katrina ‘Bikini Girl’ Darrell av Kara DioGuardi face off is below. I’m sure Mariah Carey whose song Vision of Love these two butchered is grasping a butcher knife watching this awfulness.

Bitsy is so tiny, she only weighs 1.5 pounds, stands 6.5 inches tall and measures 18 and 3/4 inches from tail to nose. Auriette Lindsey of Pensacola, Florida who’s the owner of Bitsy is trying to find out whether Bitsy could make it to the Guinness Book of World Records as the World’s Smallest Cat. People will never change. Exploiting poor animals for owner’s profit will always take priority.

Auriette Lindsey told WEAR-TV that she’s trying to get Bitsy in the Guinness Book of World Records as the World’s Smallest Cat, but their officials want to see the video and pictures of how the cat is measured to make sure they are no misrepresented figures. Auriette Lindsey insists that Bitsy was born of normal sized cat and the rest of the litter was normal sized as well.

Current holder of the World’s Smallest Cat lives in Louisiana and is heavier than Bitsy, but shorter. Guinness Book of World Records officials should declare who the World’s Smallest Cat in 6 weeks. Cute video with Bitsy is above.

Meet Andrew Mizsak from Ohio. Andrew Mizsak is 28 year old, weighs 270 pounds, lives in his parent’s basement for which they don’t charge him rent and he’s a democrat. In my mind, this is the perfect specimen of a democrat ever. Fat, spoiled kid who never gets laid and masturbates to goat porn in comfort of his parent’s basement. Normally a democrat would live in her grandma’s basement, but still living for free at your parents when you’re 28 is still not bad. Not for a democrat that is. Well, that’s about the brief profile of Andrew Mizsak.

Otherwise completely insignificant closeted homosexual Andrew Mizsak would normally never make it on the pages of news portals, but his life took a sudden turn after his own dad whose name is also Andrew Mizsak called 911 because Andrew Mizsak refused to clean his room. You know – fat democrat living at parent’s basement rent free – he ain’t gonna bother cleaning all that tissue he uses to clean his circumcised dick with after masturbation to free porn. Are you kidding me? Democrats don’t do that.

After Andrew Mizsak senior called Bradford police to set his 28 year old son straight after Andrew Mizsak junior threw a kitchen table at him and threatened him with clenched fist. Wow, 270 pounds monster clenched his mighty fist at his dad. Scary thought. After the police got into motion, Andrew Mizsak senior decided not to press any charges so as not to interfere with his son’s political career. I betcha whole family voted for Barack Obama. What bunch of losers!

Andrew and Paula Mizsak (his momma Paula is a councilwoman in Bradford, Ohio) obviously spoil the crap out of their little son. They feed him well and give him everything. He treats them back like shit, but what would you expect from a spoiled kid? Dad took it all on himself so his democrat son’s political career doesn’t get ruined but oops… it’s already ruined. I’m helping to ruin it, cause 1 – he’s a democrat and 2 – enough spoiled kids in the government.

BTW – Andrew Mizsak junior insists that he’s an independent political consultant who serves on the Bedford School Board but he’s an undisputed democrat. Take a look at what his LinkedIn profile says:

Democratic City Leader/Director of Political Operations
Bedford/Walton Hills Democratic Party(Political Organization industry)

May 2002 — Present (7 years 1 month)

Chair of the Bedford/Walton Hills Democratic Party (Assistant Democratic City Leader and Vice Chair from May 2002 – July, 2008), and the number one position in the leadership structure of the Local Party Organization, I have served as the Chairman of the Democratic Coordinated Campaign for the four communities of the Bedford City School District since 2002. I also preside over meetings, coordinate the Central and Executive Committees, and am responsible for all campaign and grassroots outreach efforts over an area of 13 square miles, serving 17,000 residents – of whom, 70 – 75% of the registered voters are Democrats. I am also the Chief Fundraiser for the Local Party Organization.

That’s a Democrat with capital D and sure Barack Obama ass kisser. Here’s to your political career, Mr. Andrew Mizsak! Get a life, damn it!

Susan Boyle, the most amazing woman in the world has been on the Oprah Winfrey Show who asked her about a make-over and the fame that was bestowed upon her over night. The video from the show including full interview and a segment about Susan is below. It’s awesome how Oprah Winfrey’s team added subtitles to Susan’s speech. Obviously they were concerned that North American audiences would not understand her Scottish accent. I was in Scotland few years ago (Edinburgh is phenomenal in August for Fringe Festival) and having experienced it like that, I actually don’t find Susan Boyle all that bad. I actually can occasionally understand her.

So what did Susan Boyle tell Oprah Winfrey after she was asked if she enjoyed the fame that her performance at Britain’s Got Talent brought upon her? Susan Boyle said she loved it. She enjoys it, even though it’s rather overwhelming. Even her cat Pebbles gets fan mail. Despite all the popularity, Susan still keeps it down to Earth and didn’t go overboard with any of her statements on the Oprah Winfrey Show. She’s ready to take on other Britain’s Got Talent contestants many of whom she thinks are very talented (not sure if she was talking about Greg Pritchard).

Overall I think Susan Boyle kicks ass. As Simon Cowell (was on Oprah too) confirmed, Susan Boyle has the whole world behind her. And with over 100 million YouTube views that the video of her performance got, it is expected that the semi final of Britain’s Got Talent will be the most watched broadcast ever. You got my cheers, Susan Boyle. Even though I must say I find Oprah Winfrey extremely irritating. Is this what each of her shows look like? Cause she’s making me want to stab baby bunnies in the eyes.

Video of Susan Boyle on Oprah co hosted by Simon Cowell is below:

If you’re on line, you have already heard the biggest news of the day – Montauk Monster was allegedly found washed on the shores of Plum Island. What followed immediately was the same scenario as with any other fake news. Questionable photos were passed around, video of questionable quality with big watermark was uploaded on youtube – you know, the same signature scenario that follows all supernatural phenomena discovered by losers who are taking their one and only lifetime shot at making it big. This is as fake as it gets!

Yes, I said it out loud. There is no such thing as Montauk Monster on Plum Island. There has never been a bigfoot in northern Georgia nor any other extraterrestrial species. Once you see shady photos and videos with big watermarks, you know it’s fake – it’s a scam pulled off by some closeted homosexuals from grandma’s basements who are trying to get laid for the first time. Fake Montauk Monster story will put them on the TV, everyone will talk about them, they will have paparazzi after their asses like they are celebrities and eventually they will admit it was all fake and life will go on, but they will have got laid while it lasted. See, how simple? Just make up a story about some new speciest of a Montauk Monster, take some photos of something odd looking somewhere on Plum Island, put a website together, film a video with direct spotlight to make it impossible to see what’s being filmed, talk some gay crap while it’s being filmed while simultaneously fingering your virgin asshole, upload it on your tube, send a couple of press releases – done. You’re a star!

The video of those losers with small penises who claim they have found Montauk Monster on Plum Island is below. Just listen to them talking and you will be certain that they are faking it, but trying to be serious so as not to ruin their only shot at fame. FAKE: