Beer Steak Bullshit

Ha, Levi Johnston… It’s nice and all to hold hands with potential daughter of US vice president, but did you buy that diamond ring she’s wearing or what? Yeah… I didn’t think so. Sweet life though. Levi Johnston gets to boink Bristol Palin, daughter of Sarah Palin, who could possibly become a VP should presidential candidate John McCain get elected, and at the same time he doesn’t have to worry about buying expensive jewelry. There will be somebody who pics up that bill. Damn… living in Alaska’s got to count for something.

The pictures are from Republican Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota. Levi Johnston and his girlfriend Bristol Palin got to meet and shake hands with presumptive presidential nominee John McCain. Whole family of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin attended. I really love their names: Trig Palin, Willow Palin, Piper Palin, Track Palin, and of course Bristol Palin with her genital juices exchange partner Levi Johnston.

Pictures credit: Getty Images

This is crazy. Satellite Picture of Hurricane Gustav 2008 definitely looks like a bloody mayhem on Earth. While I’m sitting safely here in Canada, People down in New Orleans and whatever other area are affected are going through hell. Hurricane Gustav, the 2008 version of Hurricane Katrina hit the same area, however unlike Katrina, Hurricane Gustav did not leave Louisiana in a catastrophic state. The damages are still estimated at $12 billion, but at least the levees didn’t break flooding the whole city.

1.9 million people abandoned their homes in the Gulf Coast area to flee Hurricane Gustav. Many have already returned home, even though neighborhoods are quite devastated, many still without power.

Hurricane Gustav 2008 Satellite Picture above provided by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) - Getty Images North America

Jeepers Creepers, that’s a pesky old woman. Roberta McCain, mother of Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain looks like someone I wouldn’t want to piss off. The picture is from Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota.

If John McCain is 72 year old, then how old is Roberta McCain - his mother? Damn, this woman probably went to school with William Shakespeare. And I can see her plowing her way through White House if Barack Obama wins. She’ll totally beat the crap out of the security personnel and then will slap Obama and will yell at him. Everyone will just stand there and stare cause no one would have expected an old woman to unleash mayhem on an Oval Office. Damn, Roberta McCain… I wouldn’t want her for my mother in law

Roberta McCain image credit: Chip Somodevilla, Getty Images

Proof that it’s fake. Yeah… you didn’t actually think this was real, did you? Sarah Palin, John McCain’s VP has been attacked by Barack Obama dogs throughout the net ever since the announcement of her being McCain’s VP came to light. Lot’s of fake stories, lots of fake rumors and now fake Sarah Palin Bikini Pic. But we at Beer Steak Bullshit Bog got the proof. We got the proof that it’s fake, damn it.

I can’t help but ask - how far will Barack Obama and his crowd of blind sheep go?
- Sarah Palin Bikini Pic - fake.
- Sarah Palin bad mother - fake
- Sarah Palin stripper - fake
- Sarah Palin sex tape - damn, I’d love to see that shit. She’s the hottest MILF to hit the waves of internet ever since I’ve first jacked off to old pr0n.

Anyway, leave Sarah Palin alone. She’d be the best thing to happen to the White House. Whole world would be looking up to the US to get a glimpse of the hottest VP in the world. Sarah Palin is the sex.

Elin Woods, also known by her maiden name Elin Nordegren and her husband, famous golf player Tiger Woods are expecting a baby. This will be their second baby Woods as they already have one daughter named Sam Alexis Woods.

Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods have been married since 2004 and they look very happy together, plus they’re both beautiful looking people. Elin Nordegren is a model and she’s mind-blowing gorgeous.

Tiger Woods is currently taking a break from golfing because of his knee operation. He was disappointed because the season was otherwise going very well for him, but the news of Elin Woods expecting another baby made it all worth while.

Tiger Woods mentioned on a few occasions that he wanted more than one child since he grew up as the only child of his parents. His wish should become reality in winter. Sam Alexis Woods is going to get a little sibling from a stork.

I know you all can’t wait what Prince William’s penis and Kate Middleton’s vagina looks like and your wishes are about to come true. Prince William and Kate Middleton hed their personal digital camera stolen and as it turns out, the chip could contain sex pics of the couple doing nasty things to each other. Let the sexual fantasies take off - what do you think sex between Prince William and Kate Middleton looks like? Prince William probably puts a ring gag in Kate Middleton, ties her up in unescapable Japanese bondage, puts clothes pins on her nipples and labia and slashes her with a cane. And she screams: “Thank you, Master!” - Nah, I made that all up. Prince William would never do that to her. Kate Middleton looks like she could easily take it in the ass. My type of lay…

Enough blabber. British The Sun reports that they were offered sex pics of Prince William and Kate Middleton that are reportedly on a flash card from a stolen camera. Two guys who claim they’ve got the cam with intimate pics asked for £50,000.

Instead of creating another sex scandal, The Sun reported the buggers to the police who arrested one guy who’s now held on suspicion of theft and attempted money laundering. FAIL!

Aside form boring pictures of Prince William and Kate Middleton swimming and frolicking together, the camera reportedly contained pictures of the couple making out in the Caribbean while on the holiday. The Royals made sure none of the pics leak to the public and The Sun did their civic duty in protecting the family. I’m sure there were pictures much juicier than what we’re being told, but Queen wouldn’t be impressed if hard core BDSM pics of her grand son got plastered all over the net. If he keeps it up, we’re gonna get them sooner or later. I’m all juiced up already…

Prince William and Kate Middleton image credit: WENN

Source: Bumpshack

Richard Collier, offensive tackle of the Jacksonville Jaguars was shot and critically wounded earlier today sustaining life threatening injuries.

26 year old Richard Collier and his buddy Kenneth Pettway, who’s former defenseman for the Jacksonville Jaguars were waiting for some hos in a Cadillac Escalade when a gunman appeared form out of nowhere and opened fire at the guys inside the car. According to preliminary reports, Richard Collier was shot several times, however it was not specified where the shots hit him.

Shands Jacksonville Medical Center accepted Richard Collier in a critical condition but refused to provide updates on his condition to the media (perhaps a family request). Wayne Weaver, owner of Jacksonville Jaguars issued a statement in which he said that Richard Collier is in critical, but stable condition.

Motives behind shooting are unknown, but the police are investigating and hopefully there will be an update soon. It looks like the attack was particularly targeting Richard Collier, as Kenneth Pettway who was in a car with Richard was not injured.

Richard Collier is the third NFL star shot in the past 18 months. Sean Taylor of Washington Redskins was fatally shot by burglars who wanted to rob his house in Miami area and Darrent Williams of Denver Broncos was killed in drive by shooting.

Richard Collier Image Credit: Al Messerschmidt, Getty Images

Here’s another internet superstar. Kate McAlpine has a YouTube profile under the nick Alpinekat and her call to fame? Kate McAlpine raps about particle physics and the 17 mile circumference machine called Large Hadron Collider (LHC), which is about to starts up on September 10, 2008.

You probably didn’t understand a thing of what I just said in that last sentence and neither do I. This is what I was able to learn about it (Kate McAlpine kind of explains it with her rap) - there’s a particle physics lab close to Geneva in Switzerland known as CERN. They’ve been working for 14 years on a machine called Large Hadron Collider (LHC), which they believe will find new particles, such as Higgs boson that give subjects weight characteristics, or the dark matter - the source of gravity, or antimatter that is believed to cancel matter. I’m as clueless about it as you are. Don’t ask…

Kate McAlpine is a 23 year old chick who raps about that stuff. She’s young and hot and all, but where’s the booty. Alpinekat, if you’re going to rap, show some booty or else it’s the waste of time. Regardless of how hot you are. You got to shake some of that booty, oil it up and show it in slim thong. What do you think rap is for? Science?

Kate McAlpine is getting popular on YouTube, though. She uploaded her video Large Hadron Rap a month ago and it already had over 600 000 views. That’s from an unknown author. I know that Chris Crocker can get 600k views in a manner of hours, but he’s Britney Spears’ gay twin sister. That gives him advantages.

BTW - I didn’t last through entire rap. I could not find any booty in it for over a minute so I got bored. Let’s just hope Kate McAlpine gets the memo and takes off some clothes next time. Ans let’s hope that Large Hadron Collider doesn’t get us owned when it’s turned on (did I just use words “hardon” and “turned on” in a single sentence?). I’ve already paid for a trip to Cuba I’m taking later this year.

I admit it - Google is the most popular search engine and also the search engine that sends most traffic to Beer Steak blog. But at the same time it’s the biggest FAIL of a technology company under the sun. Pretty much everything they come up with sucks major balls. And Gmail leads the race at FAIL. Now Google is about to release new internet browser of FAIL. Get ready for Google Chrome Browser.

On one hand I don’t mind this FAIL. Maybe it’s shut the mouth of those obnoxious FireFox fanboys who can’t see past the tip of their nose but they’re big firefox fanboys just cause that sounds so cool. With the release of Google Chrome Browser they’re gonna be stuck. Who are they going to fanboy for? Fanboys always go with the tide. They don’t use firefox because it’s a good browser (did I just use firefox and good browser in one sentence?), they use firefox cause they think it’s so cool to be a firefox user. But when there’s Google Chrome Browser, we’ll see them changing their colors and we’re gonna have crap loads of Google Chrome Browser fanboys. Once again - not because Google Chrome Browser is a good browser, but because those brainless kids will think it’s hip to be Google Chrome Browser user and let everyone know about it.

Google has been rumored to have their own browser in the works but somehow it never became more than a rumor, but it’s been announced and confirmed on Google blog so Chrome Browser’s gonna become reality. Google marketing geniuses chose to introduce chrome browser with a comic book - FAIL. You can see the online version of the comic book HERE.

Google Chrome Browser will be officially release tomorrow.

Mercenaries 2: World in Flames was just released yesterday and it looks pretty damn sick. But I could not help but notice how closely the main computer game character resembles the looks of biggest internet celebrity - Techno Viking. Remember, Techno Viking doesn’t dance to the music, the music dances to the Techno Viking.

That was a good choice on behalf of Pandemic Studios - creators of Mercenaries 2. There is nobody more intimidating looking than Techno Viking. You just can not substitute that German stare, fierce focused eyes and solid physics that could bend metal. If I were a chick, I’d want to marry Techno Viking and he’d be my mercenary.

Just in case you don’t know who I’m talking about (unless you just got out of cave where you spent 10 years of your life you must have heard of him) Techno Viking is an internet celebrity that can beat Chuck Norris with a fart. The timeless video of Techno Viking was recorded during The Fuckparade in Berlin. It starts with a shot of a blue haired chick dancing when out of the blue a random guy runs into her. At the same time mighty Techno Viking comes into view and owns the guy. The expression on techno Viking face is such that no one would want to mess with him. Ever.

Now the computer game Mercenaries 2 was released and surely enough, there he is - techno Viking himself getting the job done. Nobody touches the Techno Viking. he owns everybody’s ass.

Below is the Techno Viking YouTube video:

And a trailer video for Mercenaries 2 featuring what certainly resembles the biggest internet celebrity. Techno Viking for the win: