Beer Steak Bullshit

Susan Boyle, 47 year old woman from but-eff nowhere, Scotland took the world by the storm when she performed on Britain’s Got Talent. Having become an international celebrity virtually overnight with massive support of the internet community, it comes as no surprise that eyes of the paparazzi and all major media player are affixed on Susan Boyle and trace her every step. And Susan Boyle shocks us sporting brand new look.

I was a big supporter of Susan Boyle and was a little bit disappointed to find out that she was lying about being a virgin and never being kissed. It kind of turned me off, however it changes nothing on the fact that she’s the finest female voice since Sinead O’Connor. Obviously, Susan Boyle is getting used to massive media attention and is adjusting to it with new looks. Plucking up her eyebrows recently was the beginning and now look at the photo above – that’s a whole new way to look slimmer and younger. Not sure if that new look is good or bad. Myself as well as all of the blogosphere supported the underdog Susan Boyle who looked as your typical stove side mom from Scotland. Now she looks like businesswoman from headquarters of the insurance company.

I will continue to support Susan Boyle. Despite the makeover. I’m sure she’s still the same crazy lady with the voice of an angel. She just needed a new look for her own sake. Perhaps she saw herself on TV and got too self conscious and needed her own self confidence boost now that she knows she’s been seen all over the world. She may not have realized how popular she would become so she didn’t pay much attention to the way she looked. That’s one of the things that won our hearts, but I do appreciate that she needed to do this for herself. The voice is still there, it ain’t going anywhere. Next time Susan Boyle sings she’s gonna get our jaws dropped the same way as when she did I Dreamed a Dream.

When you say “judge” and “stripper” in the same sentence, you know there’s something truly awful in the works. Especially for the judge. And this case from Tampa, Florida is no different. Judge Thomas Stringer must have had a thing for Asian hookers when he got himself involved with Japanese stripper Christy Yamanaka back in 1995. Thomas Stringer was married at that time too, but back then even strippers had more honor and you could trust them.

Fast forward to 2008 – Thomas Stringer is a seasoned judge and Christy Yamanaka… well, retired stripper. Nobody wanted to watch old hag with saggy skin to flash her labia at them. And unlike studying in law school where as Thomas Stringer invested into his future, Christy Yamanaka had no such long term investment into herself and whore can’t be a stripper forever.

Christy Yamanaka now claims that she had sex with the judge three times and that Thomas Stringer helped hide her assets from creditors so they wouldn’t take everything from her. As it turns out, strippers can make shit loads of money, which Christy Yamanaka did have, but she filed for bankruptcy in Las Vegas, Nevada nevertheless however was ordered by the court to pay her creditors about $315,000. Christy Yamanaka called Judge Thomas Stringer to help her hide the money she had from the creditors so they couldn’t get it.

Thomas Stringer referred her to her son who’s an attorney and together a bank account to which Christy Yamanaka had access, but it wasn’t under her name – hence out of creditor’s reach. Now Christy Yamanaka came out of the woodwork and asked judge Thomas Stringer for money or else she was gonna spill the beans about their secret relationship. He was supporting her financially before and helped her with that hiding money from creditors situation, but now she claims he owes her money for a Hawaiian property investment that she bought, but was under his name to hide it from the list of her assets.

Thomas Stringer resigned from his post as a judge in February, 2009.

Summit Entertainment, the production company behind Twilight – the vampire love story saga have announced that their third installation titled Eclipse will be directed by David Slade. Let me tell you something – David Slade is the Baddest Director in the World. Not only has he filmed 30 Days of Night, which totally rocked, he also filmed some of the finest music videos:

• Aerials by System of a down
• Donkey Rhubarb by Aphex Twin
• Strange Little Girl by Tori Amos
• Girl’s Not Grey by AFI

couple more for Muse and other artists. David Slade simply rocks like that. He doesn’t direct faggy music or faggy movies. Summit Entertainment definitely got themselves a good director for Eclipse. But let me tell you one more thing which proves that David Slade truly is the baddest director in the world. It has nothing to do with directing, but being a director and hating on kid on a plane like that makes him the coolest director who speaks out against that shit. Look at this:

David Slade reacted exactly the same way I would have reacted. I effin hate kids on a plane. It should be illegal for kids to board a plane, unless it’s in a cage for snakes by the engines somewhere. When I flew to Europe in 2004, there were those stupid two kids who would not shut up for 5 minutes right across the middle walkway from me. During a 9 hour flight I was TAF, wanted to take a nap and was falling asleep all the time but with the noise those kids were making, it threw me out of my sleep as soon as I fell into it. Kid’s parents would not tell them to shut up and flight attendants were doing their jobs so they were nice to kids.

I was the only one who voiced my opinion on that plane by asking the flight attendant if I could borrow an axe from the cockpit. I wanted to make the flight pleasurable for all. I’d do the service to society by silencing those stupid kids with a merciful axe to the face. Oh how enjoyable a flight would have been afterwards. Sadly, my wish was not granted so the kids were given green light to make for the most miserable 9 hours of everybody who was on that plane.

When I board a plane, I always look around to see if there are any kids also boarding and if I see some, I immediately alert flight attendants and loudly ask for a seat as far away from those obnoxious kids as possible. Ban kids from flying. David Slade understands that principle and that makes him the most bad ass director in the world.

David Slade photo by Phil McCarten, Reuters USA

Rooney Mara is a virtually unknown actress. In few years of her acting careers she’s been in a couple of TV series (Law & Order, Women’s Murder Club) and some movies you haven’t seen (Dream Boy, Urban Legends: Bloody Mary). According to reports from Bloody-Disgusting, Rooney Mara is in final negotiations to play Nancy Thompson character in the upcoming remake of famous horror film Nightmare on Elm Street. That’s a big break point in her career – scoring a role in Nightmare on Elm Street remake will move Rooney Mara from D List to…. well, B List. It’s an upgrade never the less.

The remake of Nightmare on Elm Street is rumored to have a brand new scripts that doesn’t follow old one too closely. Obviously, list of characters remains (so far) unchanged, even though to meet 21st century standards, Nancy Thompson will be an anti-social goth chick – yumm. Basic story line of a child molester who gets burned to death by a mob of pissed of parents and then returns to turn life of a girl who ratted him out to hell would likely remain unchanged in the remake.

The role of Freddy Krueger has been entrusted to Jackie Earle Haley. Other confirmed cast of the Nightmare on Elm Street remake include Thomas Dekker and Kyle Gallner. The release date has been set to April 16, 2010. Production begins in May this year in Chicago. The movie will be directed by Samuel Bayer.

the Nightmare on Elm Street collage photo with Freddy Krueger, Heather Langenkamp as Nancy Thompson and Rooney Mara source: /film

Must be tough living on mere $8 Million a year. So tough one would have to commit suicide cause how otherwise was David Kellermann, acting CFO of mortgage monster Freddie Mac supposed to make ends meet? Actually, I made the $8 Million a year figure up, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that was David Kellermann’s annual pay. Afterall, being chief financial officer of Freddie Mac, he was reporting directly to recently resigned CEO David Moffett. Must be tough being Freddie Mac CFO. I’m talking suicide tough.

The news of Freddie Mac CFO suicide is very fresh. David Kellermann was only found dead earlier today. The police received the 911 call at 4.48am and officers were dispatched to a $900k villa in Hunter Mill Estates in suburban Virginia where David Kellermann lived with his wife. At this time there hasn’t been much detail released by the police, but there is no suspicion of foul play, plus David Kellermann apparently left a suicide note.

David Kellermann was made a CFO of Freddie Mac in September 2008 after working for the company for 16 years. When he got the post, it was just after US government had seized control of Freddie Mac following their $50 billion a year loss and gave it a bailout of $45 Million. Way to nominate your CFO, Freddie Mac. Give high paying jobs to suicidals who can’t bear crap. Suicide is for the weak anyway.

As of a few minutes ago, a statement with updates on Freddie Mac CFO Suicide has been released by Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner who said on behalf of the treasury that they are deeply saddened by the new of David Kellermann’s death. No actual updates on how he committed suicide yet.

Accused Craigslist Killer Philip Markoff and his fiancee Megan McAllister had a wedding scheduled for August 14, 2009. They even had their own, dedicated wedding website that was located at megan-philip.com but was since taken down and now merely displays a parked page. It’s gonna earn lots of money though, cause blogosphere will send crap loads of traffic to it today. Perhaps then Philip Markoff will not have to kill hookers from Craigslist in hotels. Perhaps he’ll be able to use the money from the traffic his parking revenue will generate. But let’s get back to Philip Markoff’s wedding to Megan McAllister and their original wedding website – you can’t cheat bloggers, Philip Markoff. We got screenshots!

The website told the whole story how Philip Markoff met Megan McAllister back when they both attended University of Albany, how their building were right next door to each other, how they started volunteering at the hospital and playing with urine samples – I made the playing part up. The website did mention urine sample, but doesn’t mention golden shower sex play. They didn’t disclose much detail from their sex life. It does say their first date was on November 11 2005, what it doesn’t say is when they had their first sex. My guess is before first date. At that time Megan McAllister would have been an anal sex virgin – my guess.

The wedding website also provided the link to where guests could book a room at the Jersey Shore for only $155 – newbs. Don’t they know we’re in recession, vacation industry, in particular US hotels are going through extreme hardship and nobody charges $155 per night anymore? Freaking newbs. Don’t they ever read my blog? It would give them an idea on how to go about booking your freaking vacations!

Anyway – I’m not gonna elaborate on Philip Markoff and Megan McAllister wedding website too much. Check out the screenshots if you are interested in how a mind of a Craigslist killer and his prostitute works. Guestbook is the most precious part. Before they were able to take the site down, some people left them their wishes and gems include the following line:

I have a question about the hotel you guys are holding the wedding in… has the grrom killed anyone there yet?

How does Megan McAllister feel about sucking on the cock of Craigslist Killer and taking it in the ass afterwards? She looks like she was tossing his salad too and he took great pleasure in that. What a loving couple. I can imagine Philip Markoff was taking ass licking from Megan McAllister with his eyes closed, while he envisioned a filthy hooker from New York, tied up in a hotel with scared look on her face while he’s flashing a hand gun at her face. Cumshot!

Gallery of photos containing screenshots of Philip Markoff and Megan McAllister wedding website is below:

22 year old Philip Markoff has been in police custody since Monday, April 20, 2009. He’s suspected to be one of the most dangerous predators many have come to know as Craigslist Killer. Philip Markoff is a bright, clean cut medical student at the Boston University. But as it happens with most notorious killers – it’s always the nicest guys who commit the most atrocious crimes. Friends, family, neighbors – everyone is surprised when the police come and lead the man away in handcuffs… How could this happen, he was the nicest guy on the block. Well, surprise – it’s always the nicest guy on the block. And if Philip Markoff is proven guilty, if Philip Markoff is truly a Craigslist Killer, then it means that this bright kid who’s about to become a doctor and have a wedding to Megan McAllister has a blood of 26 year old Julissa Brisman on his hands.

Philip Markoff has been accused of murdering Julissa Brisman – a masseuse (masseuse is more often than not a Craigslist code language for “escort”) who advertised her services on Craigslist and of the robbery of another two females who also advertised her services on Craigslist. Both robberies as well as murder of Julissa Brisman were carried out in a hotel room. Because all the victims were picked on and contacted via popular classified site Craigslist, the murderer became known as the Craigslist Killer.

Philip Markoff Profile

Philip Haynes Markoff comes from the state of New York, but has lived in Quincy, a town south of Boston, Massachussets. It is believed Philip Markoff graduated of the State University of New York-Albany in 2007 and is currently studying second year medicine at Boston University, set to graduate in 2011. After school learned about the murder charges against Philip Markoff, he was suspended from the medical program. His wedding to Megan McAllister was scheduled for August 14, 2009 – I don’t think it’s taking place anymore.

Craigslist Killer

Craigslist Killer (possibly Philip Markoff) made contact with women who offered services such as “private massages” or “private dances” on Craigslist. He would arrange a meeting in a hotel, but when a girl arrived, she was tied up at gun point and robbed. Two of the victims took the abuse and were only robbed. One of them, however tried to escape. 26-year-old Julissa Brisman wasn’t having any of that and tried to make a run for it. Unfortunately, Craigslist Killer wasn’t having any of that escaping and shot her several times.

Julissa Brisman was an aspiring actress (all hookers are, aren’t they?). She was found bleeding and in cardiac arrest on the 20th floor of Marriott Copley Place in Boston. Despite attempts of medic to revive her, she died shortly after.

The police reviews videos from hotel surveillance cameras (photo of a screenshot is above) and each of the assaults related to girls offering services on Craigslist were carried out by what appeared to be the same blonde male with a blackberry. The police believed all of these were done by the same man whom they dubbed Craigslist Killer. And now, with help of millions of bloggers the suspects were narrowed down to one man – Philip Markoff.

According to Suffolk District Attorney Daniel Conley and Boston Police Commissioner Edward Davis, Philip Markoff has been charged with murder, unlawful possession of a firearm, armed robbery and kidnapping. Check out the video below:

WARNING – if you live within North America, don’t watch the video. You will find it offensive. You’ll probably end up suing somebody. Oh, the outrage! Naked male bums on national TV. How dare they in Sweden? Off with their heads! Seriously…

All right. Remember the Janet Jackson Wardrobe Malfunction during Super Bowl half time break in 2004? Yeah, Justin Timberlake grabbed at Janet Jackson’s dress right over her tit and yanked ripping the tit cover off, exposing the boob which had nipple and areola covered with some ornament. It cause so much controversy morons at high places would not shut their stupid mugs about it for half a decade now. The way real time broadcasting in North America works had to be reprogrammed so we don’t expose innocent, vulnerable… someone (I don’t even know who) to the dangers of seeing half naked sagged boob. What ridiculousness.

The above is in North America, though. In Europe, they’re not as ass tight and everything works fine. The Swedish rendition of Sweden’s Got Talent featured a quartet of twinks whose act was a dance. Only they were dancing naked. Yep, four naked twinks on national TV in Sweden performing their dance. Granted, their moves were done in such way so as to cover their private parts, however they were wearing no clothes and their asses were in clear view of spectators and cameras at all times.

Imagine this would happen in North America. Janet Jackson would be put to shame with her lame attempt at destroying our purity. The whole shit country would get sued, heads would be falling, businesses would be shutting down, religious prudes would start nationwide sessions to cleanse the sheep off the sin – the entire continent would explode.

Now look what they do in Sweden – judges give performers standing ovations, audience shocked, but loving it – not because they see nudity, but because they see four twinks with balls the size of a Keiko whale. Even though these twinks weren’t that greatly rehearsed, they were given props by everyone for entertaining the crowd and bringing something new on the stage of Sweden’s Got Talent. Sweet old Europe!

Just when you thought Miss USA could not get any worse, the title was given to perhaps the most plastic looking, overused blonde by the name of Kristen Dalton. Donald Trump has awful taste in women. Have they seriously run out of pretty girls or does Donald Trump purposefully request plastic looking, Playboy style Barbie doll blondes without charisma?

Kristen Dalton who won Miss North Carolina pageant represented her state at Miss USA 2009 and won the contest. Miss West Virginia Jessi Pierson won herself the Miss Photogenic title and Miss Congeniality award was won by Miss Wyoming Cynthia Pate. Miss California Carrie Prejean ended as first runner up and second runner up was Miss Arizona Alicia-Monique Blanco. The Miss USA 2009 was held at the Planet Hollywood Resort Casino in Las Vegas and was broadcast live nationally on NBC.

Miss North Carolina turned Miss USA 2009 Kristen Dalton is a 22 year old Wilmington native with family history of Miss pageants. The Miss North Carolina title was won by her mother in 1982 and her sister won Miss North Carolina Teen USA 2008. Kristen Dalton also contested in Miss North Carolina Teen USA in 2005 and was first runner up back then.

Having won Miss USA 2009, Kristen Dalton will go to represent her country in the Miss Universe pageant. Here’s hoping Kristen Dalton will continue with hilarious tradition of Miss USA at Miss Universe and will fall on her ass like her two predecessors Miss USA 2007 Rachel Smith and Miss USA 2008 Crystle Stewart. Perhaps being from North Carolina, she could outdo her South Carolina counterpart and be both dumb and fall on her ass.

Gallery of pictures from Miss USA 2009 pageant with newly crowned Miss Kristen Dalton is below.

Photos by Judy Eddy, WENN.com

There was recently a case from New Jersey where a man posing as a waiter collected $186 from people who came to dine at two locals restaurants. According to victims, the bogus waiter looked to be about 20 year old with spiky hair. He was wearing a dark blue shirt with yellow tie and khaki pants. This is how it went down:

Bogus waiter sat in the restaurant and observed diners. He paid attention especially once diners were done and asked for a bill. Real waitress would bring the bill and he would keep a keen eye on which diners start putting actual cash together with which to pay for the bill. Once they appeared to have the cash handy, he’d approached them acting as though he was a chief waiter and asked them if they wished for anything else before paying. Diners said they were OK and handed him the cash. There are two reported cases in New Jersey alone. The first one happened in Hobson’s Choice in Hoboken, N.J where diners got scammed out of $90, the second one took place in Margherita’s Pizza and Cafe – three women there got scammed out of $96. There are likely more, undocumented cases or cases the police did not have reports finished on yet. Either way – someone realized that people who dine in restaurants generally trust waiters with their money and credit cards while frequently failing to make sure they are handing it to the right person.

Now check out the video above. That one is from England and bogus waiter there takes advantage of people who opt to sit outside on patios in nice weather. Bogus waiter would approach them as soon as they are seated, often times making themselves look like an actual waiter by either wiping off their table and handing over the menu which he picked up from another table. He used a hard to resist line that people who sit outside must leave their credit cards with the establishment as there have been many cases of people ordering drinks and leaving without paying. A line like that simply implies that you are suspected of being a potential thief which is what no honest person wants. This makes them really want to hand over their credit cards to make sure they look like honest buyers with sincere intentions to pay for their order.

Little do they know that they just handed their credit card to a bogus waiter. It’s cool how calm Brits are. Even after they find out they were just robbed off their credit cards, they keep it cool and get concerned with minimalistic reasons. If that was filmed in North America, we’d be watching screaming women freaking out, raising hell, suing the establishment and stabbing nearby kittens in the eye with their newly pedicured nails. Luckily for all credit card holders, their cards come with some form of protection so if their cards get stolen like that and abused right away, their credit card company would swallow the cost of unauthorized purchases. That’s what you pay for when you pay your annual credit card fees – they call it credit card/fraud protection or something like that.

Morale of the story – always make sure you know whom you’re handing your money/credit cards to. Wait until you are served drinks or food and pay to the same person who served you. Or stand up, walk to the cash register, tell them which table you were at and ask them to tell you the total which you want to pay for. We will probably see more bogus waiters popping out as the economic crisis deepens. Sadly, there will always be individuals too lazy or too worthless to earn their living by contributing to the society with their work. They will prefer stealing from others, especially since some settings make people more trusting. Don’t allow them to exploit you. Be a smart player, look after yourself. It’s always worth it!