Beer Steak Bullshit

Easter is here. Most people are aware of it, whether you’re a Christian or not. Did you know that Holy Thursday, which is the day before Good Friday is the day of Jesus Christ’s Last Supper? The last meal that Jesus shared with his Apostles before he was crucified, the Institution of the Holy Eucharist and the Sacrament of Ordination are commemorated today as Holy Thursday.

Holy Thursday (also known as Maundy Thursday) is also the beginning of Triduum – the three days immediately preceding Easter. For Christians, Triduum is the most sacred part of the year. It’s the heart of Holy Week, the feast of feasts, the most sacred part of the Church’s liturgical year. Have a great Holy Thursday and a Happy Easter.

Jamie Waylett is best known for being the fatty bully Vincent Crabbe from the Harry Potter movies. In a string of unfortunate events, Jamie Waylett was busted for growing his own marijuana. That spoils the image of bully big time. Bullies don’t have brain capacity to grow their own weed. They drive pick up trucks, have small penises and talk about owning a gun. Potheads are cool. That only means that Jamie Waylett is a good actor. As marijuana grower he’s too cool, yet still he can pull off a role of a bully Vincent Crabbe in Harry Potter. Kudos, my friend!

Reports from Great Britain suggest that home of Jamie Waylett was busted by the police who found almost $3k worth of marijuana he’s been quietly growing himself. Jamie Waylett was apprehended by the police on April 2 as he was driving his Audi car (I told ya, he’s too cool to be a bully – dude grows his own weed and has good taste in cars). The police pulled him over because his behavior was suspicious. Personal search revealed that Harry Potter actor has eight bags of marijuana on him. Cops when raided his home where he lives with his mother and three siblings and seized 10 marijuana plants he was growing.

Because Jamie Waylett was found growing the drug, if convicted, he could be facing up to 14 years in jail. God fucking damn. 14 years in a choker for growing weed? Fuck me with a cork screw!

When the cops pulled Jamie Waylett over, he should have pulled out his magic wand and pull a magic spell at them screaming “Cannabis Maximus”

I’ll be honest with you, I’m a little bit uncertain about this American Idol performance of Adam Lambert. He was singing Tears for Fears song Mad World which happens to be one of my favorite songs and a song that incredibly fit Donnie Darko movie (Mad World was originally written by Tears for Fears but was re-recorded by Gary Jules and Michael Andrews for Donnie Darko). I’m torn because of two things – first of all, Adam Lambert is without doubt a good singer who has great control over his voice. However… at the same time – he butchered my favorite song. You can’t sing Donnie Darko’s Mad World and sound like gay slave who’s getting early morning prostate massage from his master. Adam Lambert should simply grow up and realize that he’s got a penis, which means he’s a boy, not a 12 year old girl. Girls pee from their bums. You Adam Lambert pee from your peepee. That’s why they effin call it a pee pee.

Still, Adam Lambert has got an erotic voice that can make any gay man cringe in his pants. Girls have a thing for gay singers too, I’m sure. Maybe they could share the vibrating anal plug with him. Or should I say – Adam Lambert could share his vibrating anal plug with the girls, cause it’s still up his ass spinning around since he put it up there before going on stage to sing Mad World. Great singing, Adam Lambert. You may be gayer than pink pony from Matel, but you’re a good singer. Even Simon Cowell gave you standing ovation. Maybe he wanted to try some of that anal plug you’re using.

Video of Adam Lambert singing Donnie Darko song Mad World by Tears for Fears is above. Hold your gay holes tight while you watch and don’t cream on your computer chairs. It’s gross.

Eminem is back. Yeah, shocking. I know punk’s not dead but hip-hop. It’s been dead the moment it got born. Eminem would be the only hip hop artist that’s actually bearable so let’s take a look at his first single from upcoming album Relapse – We Made You. Eminem’s lyrics are actually pretty awesome most of the time and after I’ve watched the video, I’ve decided to look into lyrics a little more closely as it features all favorite characters, like Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan and the most droolicious lesbian under the son – Samantha Ronson. The best part is that the celebrities are not only sang about, they are also impersonated and looking pretty believable.

Eminem’s new album Relapse will be available in store on May 19, 2009

We Made You Lyrics

by Eminem

Intro:
Guess who?
Did ya miss me?
Jessica Simpson, sing the chorus!

CHORUS:
When you walked through the door, it was clear to me, (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see, (who they came to see)
You’re a rock star, everybody wants you…
Player, who can really blame you
We’re the ones who made you!

Verse 1:
Back by popular demand,
Now pop a little Zantac or antacid if ya can
Ready to tackle any task that is at hand
How does it feel? Is it fantastic, is it grand?
Well look at all the massive masses in the stand
Shadyman no don’t massacre the fans
Damn, I think Kim Kardashian’s a man
She stomped him just cause he asked to put his hands
on the massive gluteus maximus again
Squeeze it, then squish it then pass it to her friend
Can he come back as nasty as he can?
Yes he can can, don’t ask me this again
He does not mean the lyrics to offend
Lindsay please come back to seein’ men
Samantha’s a 2 you’re practically a 10
I know ya want me girl in fact I see your grin

CHORUS:
When you walked through the door, it was clear to me, (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see, (who they came to see)
You’re a rock star (baby), everybody wants you…
Player, who can really blame you
We’re the ones who made you!

Verse 2:
The enforcer, look at the more women to torture
Walk up to the cutest girl and charlie horse her
Sorry Portia but what’s Ellen Degeneres have that I don’t?
Are you tellin me tenderness?
Well I can be gentle and as smooth as a gentlemen
Give me my Ventolin inhaler and two Xenadrine
And I’ll invite Sarah Palin out to dinner then
Nail her, maybe say hello to my little friend
Brit quit gettin wit K Fed, let’s cut off the middlemen
Forget him or ya gonna end up in the hospital again
And this time it won’t be for the Riddalin binge
Forget them other men girl pay them little attention
and little did I mention that Jennifer’s in
Love with me John Mayer so sit on the bench
Man I swear them other guys ya give em an inch
They take a mile they got style not bigger than Slim

CHORUS:
When you walked through the door, it was clear to me, (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see, (who they came to see)
You’re a rock star (baby), everybody wants you…
Player, who can really blame you
We’re the ones who made you!

Eminem:
and that’s why Lyla you never left with out
I know ya want me girl cuz I can see you checkin me out
and baby you know,
You know you want me too,
Don’t try to deny it baby I’m the only one for you

Verse 3:
Damn girl I’m beginning to sprout an alfa alfa
Why should I wash my filthy mouth out
Ya think that’s bad you should hear the rest of my album
Never has there been such finesse and nostalgia
Man Cass I don’t mean to mess wit ya gal but
Jessica Alba put her breasts on my mouth bro
Wowsers, I just made a mess in my trousers
And they wonder why I keep dressin’ like Elvis
Lord help us he’s back in his pink house shirt
Lookin like someone shrinked his outfit
I think he’s bout to flip just a car
Rest assure Superman’s here to rescue ya
Can ya blame me? you’re my Amy I’m your Blake
Matter of fact make me a birthday cake
With a saw-blade in it to make my jail break
Baby I think you just met your soul-mate
Now break it down girl!

CHORUS:
When you walked through the door, it was clear to me, (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see, (who they came to see)
You’re a rock star (baby), everybody wants you…
Player, who can really blame you
We’re the ones who made you!

Eminem:
So baby baby get down, down down
So baby baby get down, down down
Baby baby get down down down
Baby get down get down
(repeated)

Oh Amy! Rehab never looked so good!
I can’t wait, I’m going back
haha…..wooooh!
Dr. Dre! 2020!
Yeah!

Eminem – We Made You Video

Meet Barack the Barbarian, merciless, topless, axe wielding predator who’s on a mission to square up with The Screeching Enchantress Sarah the Palin. The not-so-politically-incorrect comic book series Barack the Barbarian will be published this year in June. According to British Daily Mail, there will be two comic books in the Barack the Barbarian series:

The Righteous Retribution of Barack the Barbarian pictures US president Barack Obama in a fight with sword wielding, black latex bikini clad screeching enchantress who makes my happy in my pants. The long haired blonde with her hot mouth open to take on foreign objects has body of a goddess, strength of a gazelle and attitude of Xena the Warrior Princess. I’m not even sure why Barack the Barbarian would want to kill the hotness like that. Perhaps he’s a necrophiliac and liked to do them dead. Which is understandable, cause when she’s dead, she ain’t gonna tell you off when you shove your dick up her ass.

Barack the Barbarian: Quest for the Treasure of Stimuli shows super muscular Barack Obama presiding over Kickassistan with some ugly, probably HIV infected ho with Botox stuffed lips and fat ass clinging onto his leg. In this comic book, Barack the Barbarian takes on his nemesis Sarah the Palin who wears her signature librarian glasses, wearing wolf skin bikini and a cape.

Barack the Barbarian comic book series will be published by Devil’s Due – Chicago based comic book and cartoon publisher. Smart move on their behalf – smart business move I should say. Anything that involves controversy will get people talking and the more people talk, the more money in their pocket. Free advertising, ya know. And judging by the cartoons released so far, they are looking to picture the characters as naked as it goes, without making them naked. Hence no one will be able to label their cartoons a pornography, yet it will be revealing enough for any loser geek from the basement to rub one off to it.

According to the press release, Devil’s Due Barack the Barbarian comic books will also feature other political figures, including former US president George Bush (Overlord Boosh) and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (Sorceress Hilaria), Dick Cheney (Chainknee of the Elephant Kingdom), John McCain, Rod Blagojevich, Nancy Pelosi, and others.

Check out the gallery with Barack the Barbarian cartoons below:

Marie Moore Shooting Her Own Son

Remember when Ervin Antonio Lupoe killed all of his family and then himself after he got fired? Thinking that someone would turn a gun on a member of their own family is insane, but obviously it happens. As sad as it is, Ervin Antonio Lupoe at least had some form of reason for killing. 44 year old Marie Moore from Florida however… I don’t get it. Marie Moore was with her 20 year old son Mitchell Moore at a Casselberry Shooting Range last Sunday, when without warning and without any apparent reason, she turned the gun at her son and shot him dead. Marie then turned the gun on herself and pulled a trigger one more time.

Mitchell Moore was killed instantly. Marie Moore was taken to a Florida Hospital Altamonte where she was proclaimed dead later that day. According the statement released by Lt. Dennis Stewart from Casselberry police department, there was no argument or any other sign of a problem prior to shooting. Without any apparent reason, Marie Moore simply killed her own son and then herself.

There are obviously too many questions that may never be answered. Nobody understands why she would open fire killing her own son. There is no suicide note either. Perhaps mental disease or some weird voices in her head, maybe she heard the voice of The Holy Ghost who told her to shoot her own son. Who knows…

Marie Moore and her son Mitchell both lived in Altamonte Springs, Florida even though not on the same address. They got together as mother and son do for Sunday afternoon and went to spend quality family time at Florida’s Casselberry Shooting Range. The two were sharing the lane and according to people using adjacent lanes, they were getting along just fine. Then there was shooting and everyone started running berserk.

The police have reviewed surveillance tapes provided by the Casselberry Shooting Range which revealed graphic details of the shooting (screenshot from the video is above) – Marie Moore walked up to her son Mitchell from behind, pointed the revolver which was rented from the shooting range at the back of his head and fired a shot. She then put the revolver in her mouth and pulled the trigger one more time.

Check out the video of Marie Moore Shooting her own son but be warned of graphic nature of the video before you click.

When Carrie Underwood got on stage at last night’s Academy of CMA 2009 – Country Music Awards in Las Vegas to perform her hit song “I Told You So”, everyone’s jaws dropped. It wasn’t her stunning performance, it was the dress she was wearing. And truth be told, it was something else. Look at the pic above.

Six times entertainer of the year CMA award winner Carrie Underwood was wearing a cascading russet ball gown which literally filled up the stage at MGM Grand. It looks majestic, but I have to give Carrie Underwood kudos for actually being able to move wearing such dress. You’d think one would need seven concubines to assist with the dress if you’re wearing one of that size.

Prior to being awarded the best entertainer of the year award, Carrie Underwood also received the top female artist award. The video of her I Told You So performance along with the acceptance speech is below. Carrie Underwood totally owned the CMA 2009. Not bad for a former American Idol winner. :

Photo of Carrie Underwood at CMA 2009 by Mark J. Terrill, AP Photo

While most rape victims are just spoiled brats full of shit taking advantage of society’s overexaggeration of rape, Maria Besedina seems to be one of the real victim. But even today, four year since her ordeal at the 23rd Street station in Long Island City, justice’s been anything but served and Maria Besedina is left with nothing but tears in her eyes.

New York’s subway station located on the 23rd Street in Queens is well known for high crime. The fact that it only has one exit and a tunnet to it is long makes it so much more dangerous. But when Maria Besedina was walking through it in June of 2005, it would never have occured to her that she’d get raped in plain view of two MTA workers who did very little to help her out. As the rapist attacked and raped her right on a subway platform, the clerks who watched it happen from within their glass booths radioed Central Command to let them know that there is a possible attack happening at the station, but other than that, nothing’s been done to help Maria Besedina who was screaming for help.

As the violent attack continued, the conductor of a train that was passing by at a low speed saw the attack but gave command for the train to leave and did just as big a nothing, other than alerting Central Command, as the other two clerks.

Seeking justics, Maria Besedina sued MTA for negligence and for failing to provide safety to a customer but her case was thrown out of court by the Supreme Court Justice Kevin Kerrigan who said that action of the tranit workers was prompt and decisive.

The New York Post has a video with Maria Besedina who talks about her experience and appeals to MTA to take preventative measures as many people use subway trains for their daily life.

US President Barrack Hussein Obama bowed deep down before King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia at the G20 Summit in London. While meeting of G20 has given Barrack Hussein Obama the opportunity to speak with leaders of other economically strong or rising countries, he only bowed to Saudi King Abdullah like that. Not even British Queen Elizabeth II got a bow this deep from Obama.

I understand the hate mail I keep getting from all of you nice people who are offended by me constantly bashing on Barack Obama. I swear I spent whole day today trying to find something positive to write about him, but it was all in vain. From my standpoint – as a Canadian who is still subject to British Queen, I understand what bows to the royalties mean. However from reactions of Americans, I understand this is unacceptable. Americans fought in the American Revolution to set themselves free from the British monarchy – so they don’t have to bow to the kings and queens. Things have certainly changed since American revolution and common courtesy is not necessarily a bad thing. So if Barack Obama bows a little before the Queen Elizabeth II, no Americans would get outraged. But when he only mimics the bow with her and then goes deep down to bow before Saudi King Abdullah – what the heck is that all about? Perhaps if British queen started executing her own people in the middle of public square by decapitation with a sword – perhaps then Barrack Hussein Obama would deem her worthy a deep bow like he deems Saudi King Abdullah worthy of it.

Former US president Bill Clinton said in 1994 when contemplating bowing to the emperor of Japan:

Canadians still bow to England’s Queen; so do Australians. Americans shake hands. If not to stand eye-to-eye with royalty, what else were 1776 and all that about?

Yep. Nothing’s changed. Whether US president’s name is Barack Hussein Obama or George Walker Bush, they are all the same and all big buddies with the Saudis. Remember the outrage the picture of George Bush holding hands with King of Saudi Arabia stirred?

Yeah… Are the same people who have been outraged over this affection towards Saudi Kings going to demonstrate the same outrage towards Barack Hussein Obama for his bow to Saudi King Abdullah? Chirp, chirp, chirp… Yeah, just as I thought!

While the picture of Barrack Hussein Obama Bowing to Saudi King Abdullah posted above doesn’t quite look like a bow, it’s pretty apparent form the video below.

This hilarious video was made by The Nose on Your Face and contains the Presidents on Mount Rushmore coming to life and talking to each other, when they are joined by Barack Obama with his stuttering, sense lacking, absurd wackiness. This video is way too good and too funny.

As the presidents on Mount Rushmore are talking, Barack Obama appears as one of them and says: “I’m Barack Obama” – all Mount Rushmore presidents freak out. When asked how his first month had been, Barack Obama tells the Presidents on Mount Rushmore… well, he stutters for a while and then says: “I think I screwed up”. The video continues with audio of Barack Obama’s speeches about how confident he is that we could solve this problem, then he blabbers something about Iran and lay-offs and what not. While he talks, the Presidents on Mount Rushmore yawn and make all forms of funny sounds and remarks. The video concludes with malignant Joe Biden growing on Barack Obama’s cheek.