Beer Steak Bullshit

I’ve stumbled across this interesting picture by Imran Jafri that basically makes you ask the simplest of questions: “Why is sex so complicated?” Or better yet: “Why is sex made to be so complicated?” What’s so complicated about sex anyway?

The picture particularly targets the Wikipedia page about sex. I must admit I have never made it to that page, even though I’ve been on so many Wiki pages before. To no surprise – yes, the Wikipedia description of sex is immense. If a teenage child stumbled upon it to get information about sex, I can imagine them taking off before they can acquire any form of knowledge.

On the other hand, there is so much sex everywhere, we even get to check off SEX boxes on application forms. When I was first introduced to sex, there was no Wikipedia around. Sex itself didn’t seem complicated, getting some was a challenge. That’s what happens when you’re not a popular guy.

To make things even worse, I’ve also stumbled upon this Mitsubishi commercial which only confirms the Wikipedia take on it – yes, sex is complicated. Duh!

Can a politician get any more bad ass than Ron Paul? As a non American, I feel for my friends down south for having been forced to choose between two incompetent morans, while the only sincere and capable candidate was ousted long before he could have become a threat. Never the less, not all Americans are easily brainwashed, and I personally know many who went to polling stations and wrote the name Ron Paul on their voting cards, even though this name was not available. If Americans elected Ron Paul, even I would envy them, though there is little to envy otherwise.

What’s even more surprising, is that Ron Paul makes so much sense even the biggest Obama zealots, such as D.L. Hughley take their hats off in honor of the man. As a politician and an American, there is no doubt Ron Paul was the only viable option for Americans, but as such he was an adversary to people in the background, people who hold the strings. Not even now, as Obama’s real purpose becomes clearer do many Obama ass kissers realize (or dare to admit) that Barack Obama is nothing more than an extension to George Bush. He’s sponsored by the same people (BTW, the same people sponsored John McCain) and those are the people who want the things to remain the same. Enough about Barack Obama though.

D.L. Hughley, whose show will not be on CNN for much longer, had Ron Paul as his guest for an interview and talked politics back and forth. Ron Paul once again proved he’s a coherent speaker, but unlike Barack Obama he has a vision and ways to bring his vision to life. If major Obama ass-kisser like D.L. Hughley has nothing but good things to say about Ron Paul and is impressed over every single word he says, it sends clear signals that he is the man. I wonder if D.L. Hughley eventually realized that his vote for Barack Obama was a major mistake. I doubt it, he’s a public figure, for him to admit that he screwed up a big one by abusing his influence to brainwash people to vote for their doom would bring upon his own doom. He’s just gonna play oblivious and more important problems will take over so his mess ups will get forgotten. Well surprise Mr. D.L. Hughley, here’s a post to remind everyone forever that you have screwed up. It’s only a question of time before Americans realize what major mistake a vote for Barack Obama was. How are you gonna look them in the eye then?

Video interview with Ron Paul by D.L. Hughley is below:

Dr. Dean Ornish is a world renown authority on fighting diseases with lifestyle and dietary changes. As clinical professor at University of California, San Francisco he has undeniable credentials and brain capacity to have his words taken seriously. The video below has a speech of Dr. Dean Ornish in Monterey, California on genes and how lifestyle changes can positively impact changes in genes and lead to increase of brain cells. You may or may not know, it’s corrupted genes that cause cancer. As big supporter of Marijuana legalization and making it fully available for medical purposes, I especially enjoyed the part where Dr. Dean Ornish points out healing properties of weed.

According to Dr. Dean Ornish: “when you eat healthier, manage stress and exercise more, your brain gets more blood flow and more oxygen.” I have been replaced big part of my diet with organic food, have cut down on eating fast and processed food and walk 10 minutes to and from work. I believe this part of lifestyle changes is not difficult and anyone can do that. What I do see as bigger challenge is stress management. Managing stress is definitely challenging in today’s difficult economical and social climate. It’s not like one can live a stress free life when you’re getting bombed by creditors and threats that they’re gonna put collection agencies on your ass. I assume Yoga or Tai Chi would be a great start as far as stress management goes. But let’s get back to Marijuana:

Dr. Dean Ornish recommends following to increase brain cells:

• Chocolate
• Tea
• Blueberries
• Moderate intake of Alcohol
• Stress management
• Canabinoids (aka Marijuana)

That’s right, such capacity as Dr. Dean Ornish recommends smoking marijuana in order to increase the brain cell count and turn your gene to work for you, not against you. How is that for the medicine? Let’s take a look at what Dean Ornish recommends to stay away from as these decrease brain cells:

• Saturated fat
• Sugar
• Nicotine (only smoke marijuana, not tobacco)
• Opiates
• Cocaine
• Large intake of alcohol
• Chronic Stress

And it’s not only your brain that benefit from these lifestyle and dietary changes, as is outlined by Dr. Dean Ornish in the video. It’s also beneficial for your skin, so you age slower, it’s beneficial for your heart, so you are less prone to heart disease (it can help unclog your arteries), occurrence of prostate cancer is significantly lower and most of all – your genitals will get more blood flow so you will be able to get erection. This is probably why I can easily masturbate to on line porn – I smoke marijuana, not cigarettes, so erection is not a problem.

Marijuana is good for you. But don’t only take my word for it, listen to Dr. Dean Ornish – he’s an authority like no other. Big drug companies don’t want Marijuana legalized, because if anyone could grow such potent medicine freely in their backyard, people would be healthy and that would put incomes of a $600 Billion a year drug industry in jeopardy. Check out Marijuana Documentary called The Union for more info on that. Video of Dr. Dean Ornish on Healing Marijuana and Genes vs Fate is below (courtesy of TED)

Photos of Australian swimmer and an overall hottie Stephanie Rice have previously been featured on the pages of the most awesome blog in the universe, but it hasn’t been enough. There simply is never enough of Stephanie Rice photos and being a firm believer that a combination of an Aussie girl with swimmer’s firm assets deserve special recognition, I bring you a gallery of nine Stephanie Rice photos.

There have been rumors that Stephanie Rice could be bumping genitalia with Michael Phelps, but they seem to have died off and nobody followed up on them, hence they were untrue. Nobody cares about Michael Phelps anyway, do they?

The biggest water stir around the persona of Stephanie Rice have been photos she posted on her facebook. These photos had been deemed raunchy by Australian Olympic team, and when all other swimmers joined in on the lynching, her facebook profile was blocked from public access. You’d think Aussies were a bit more open minded and this type of crap was exclusive to our sue happy North America, but obviously that’s not the case. Anyway, enjoy Stephanie Rice photos, the gallery is below:

Stephanie Rice Photos by Getty Images

Susanne Klatten is the heiress to the BMW empire and the richest woman in Germany. The 46-year-old heiress is also the 55th richest woman in the world, according to Forbes, with personal fortune of over $13 billion (damn). Helg Sgarbi is a 44-year-old Swiss gigolo who is basically a professional seducer. Both Susanne Klatten and Helg Sgarbi are making headlines all over Europe in what many local portals refer to as scandal of the century.

Swiss gigolo Helg Sgarbi, aside from being a professional seducer is obviously also a gold digger extraordinaire. Not only did her get to stick his nasty penis into the vagina of BMW heiress Susanne Klatten, he also videotaped it on camera and threatened to sell the sex tape to the highest bidder, unless Susanne Klatten pays him €49 Million. Helg Sgarbi later reduced the demanded sum to €14, but it was all in vain anyway, since Susanne Klatten has already reported to the authorities who got Helg Sgarbi arrested. He’s now awaiting trial.

Helg Sgarbi, who’s now known all over Europe as “Swiss Gigolo” allegedly blackmailed several wealthy women out of millions of Euros. If convicted, Swiss gigolo could spend up to 10 years in prison. That’s 10 years serving as Bubba’s bitch, instead of filming sex tapes with rich women.

Susanne Klatten is married and has 3 children. Helg Sgarbi used his charm and smooth talked BMW heiress into sucking his cock despite her family being out there. When time came to monetize on an affair with Germany’s richest woman, he told her he needed to borrow money becuase he got in trouble in Florida after hitting a gir with a car. Susanne Klatten secretly handed Swiss Gigolo 7 Million Euro. Later on, Helg Sgarbi that she leaves her family and puts €290 million into trust fund that would pay for their life together. That’s when Swiss gigolo started to cross the line.

Since hot cougar of a MILF showed him the finger, Helg Sgarbi blackmailed her with threats of selling the sex tape he had filmed (here’s hoping it leaks in some form). Now the dude is police custody, awaiting trial. Sounds like a good career anyway. I wander if unattractive, bolding, overweight Canadian from the basement could hook up with Susanne Klatten. I don’t need millions of Euros. Couple thousands to pay off my debt would suffice. What do you think Susanne, I give nice back massage, I swear.

You’re probably thinking what I am thinking – who the eff is Brittny Gastineau. The answer is simple – who cares. She’s got paparazzi around her and her dress delivered near nip slip. It’s really weak, it’s not an actual nip slip as you can’t see no damn nipple, but there’s a hint of areola and that’s about as close to work not safe as I can get with otherwise work safe Beer Steak blog, right? You all work hard, you’re always at work so we need to keep things SFW. Anyway… Brittny Gastineau!

Brittny Gastineau is a daughter of former NFL player Mark Gastineau. As if being a daughter of the player in the gayest and most boring sport in the world wasn’t embarrassing enough, Brittny Gastineau forced her ass on the reality show The Gastineau Girls that aired on E! So basically she’s a nobody and nobody gives a crap. Except from me right now, cause I just found out Brittny Gastineau was born on November 11. Do you know what that means? That means that she’s a Scorpio, just like me. She probably gives mean head and has vagina with teeth (vagina dentata). Scorpios are the tits in bed.

The picture of Brittny Gastineau with near nip slip were taken last year just as she was on the way to her birthday party (yeah, in November) at the nightclub Villa in Los Angeles. Get this, her boyfriend Richard Voll was with her. How embarrassing is that? You don’t drag your boyfriends to birthday parties? You should get laid on birthday. Besides, chicks who have boyfriends plain suck. There is nothing more frustrating than a chick on whom you’ve been hitting telling you that she had a boyfriend. Well, grow up. Get rid of him so guys like me can dip my mean penis into your juicy vagina, Duh!!

Brittny Gastineau picture gallery containing near nip slip is below. High res pics available, just click it till you see it.

Brittny Gastineau photos by MAVRIXPHOTO.COM

Warning, some may find this video disturbing. Innocent kitty is shot point blank to the head. With a hand gun. I mean literally… a hand gun. Poor kitty

Jessie Logan Committed Suicide After Naked Sexting

Jesse Logan had it all and then she screwed up. It’s hard to tell how one should feel with someone who gives blow jobs to all the wrong men and then commits suicide. It’s kind of sad, kind of a waste of pretty flesh and kind of satisfying. This is the story of Jesse Logan, a girl who committed suicide after sexting a naked picture of herself to her boyfriend.

Now let me explain the word Sexting. Do not confuse it with Sex Sting, this has nothing to do with any police operation. Sexing is one of the goodies of modern technology. It allows for cheap hos to take naked pictures of themselves with their cell phones and then send it over to the cell phone of their worthless boyfriends who then sext it to all of their homosexual friends. Easy, right?

That’s exactly what happened with Jesse Logan, only this chick didn’t have enough brain power to comprehend that nobody cares about her hence it’s not a big deal. So what, so your naked tits and beaver will be all over the internet. Have you ever surfed free porn sites? Don’t you know hos like you are dime in a dozen? Nobody would give a poop whether your name is Jesse Logan or what. Show your tits and get the fuck out. That’s how it goes. Sick fucks like me will rub one to your naked pics and we’ll move on to another ho. Case closed.

But no, Jesse Logan took it to her heart, she thought her whole life would have been ruined by having her pics wide spread across the phones of homosexual men and committed suicide. To be honest, I have little respect for pretty faced girls who suck on a peen of worthless guys. There are half decent guys like me who spend their whole lives in a basement jerking off to free on line porn, but pretty assed chicks don’t care about us. They go for stupid morans, who are not only homosexual, but don’t appreciate them, abuse them and then send their naked pictures she sexted to them over to their homosexual friends. Hos who don’t appreciate fine guys from the basement who never get laid, deserve what’s coming to them. Sucking on morans penis will backfire on you sooner and later, and so it did for Jesse Logan.

So yeah, the story of Jesse Logan is simple – she was a senior in Sycamore High School, an 18 year old girl who wanted to impress her homosexual boyfriend. She did it the way stupid teen girls do. Took a picture of herself naked, passed it on to her boyfriends phone via sexting, boyfriend passed it on via sexting to his boyfriends with whom he was cheating on her anyway, homos started to harrass her for seeing her vagina, that lead to Jesse Logan feeling depressed and then hung herself.

The suicide itself was committed on July 3, 2008, right after Jesse Logan had returned from a funeral of another boy who also committed suicide. Kids nowadays are spoiled, I tell ya. Weak deserve no respect. I believe most parishes still won’t bury suicidals and if they do, their grave will be aside from all others, somewhere by the fence.

That’s for the story of Jesse Logan that went from sexting to suicide. Video with Jesse Logan is below and then more pics are below video.

Jesse Logan photo gallery:

Nicole Murphy likes to jump from one cock on another. Yeah, ex-wife of Eddie Murphy, then a girlfriend (most currently an ex-girlfriend) of gap-toothed former defensive lineman for the New York Giant Michael Straham is likely a cheater. At least that’s what Michael Straham thinks. So he planted a GPS, a tracking device in her car. Rumor has it Nicole Murphy was sucking cock of Demetrius Spencer, Universal Records A&R executive.

Nicole Murphy and Michael Straham have been together for over a year now. Michael Straham obviously has a history of spying on his sex partners. When his now ex-wife Jean divorced him in 2006, she said he spied on her as well. Jean also claimed that Michael Straham planted a secret video camera inside a room to spy on Jean’s sister while she was undressing. That’s my kind of man. He wastes no time. Might as well rub one off to your wife’s sister, right?

Nicole Murphy allegedly had a secret, but passionate relationship with Demetrius Spencer. The two exchanged sex charged emails and went on business trips to the Caribbean. What business does Demetrius Spencer have sticking his penis into mouth of taken women? You don’t do that? If you want to release some sperm, spy on your wife’s sister. That’s masturbation with class. Michael Straham does it right, Demetrius Spencer obviously needs a lesson in sperm deposition.

Nicole Murphy learned about the GSP device when she brought her Range Rover to a luxury dealership in Thousand Oaks for a regular check up. The mechanics found the tracking device hiding behind the front dashboard. This was the second GSP device Michael Straham had planted into Nicole Murphy’s car. She’s not happy about it.

Jillian Harris had her shot at seducing The Bachelor and failed. Now this fine lady is going to turn the wheel and have some worthless guys trying to stick their dicks into her vagina. Jillian Harris is the new Bachelorette and get this – she’s from Peace River in Northern Alberta. I’m from Northern Alberta myself. Not sure whether I’m proud or ashamed.

Jillian Harris was announced as new bachelorette at the end of The Bachelor: After the Final Rose, Part 2. Bachelor Jason Mesnick got a shot at massaging her tonsils with his tongue and grabbing at her Alberta ass in the hot tab (that’s just what was on camera, she probably sucked his cock off cam), but she was told to fuck off anyway in the end. Best friend my ass.

It’s all for the good. Jillian Harris is the new bachelorette and now she’s gonna be the one grabbing at asses of 25 eligible bachelors on The Bachelorette’s upcoming season. I wonder if I should apply, I know I’d be turned down, though. She wouldn’t be able to resist my sex appeal, but because I’m from the same province as her ass, she’d feel awkward. We probably have the same cousins. Maybe we even played doctors when we were little while our parents were inbreeding in the garden shed. We Albertans know how to party. Besides, she’s not my type. I fucking hate whores with speech impediments.

Below is the video with Jillian Harris and that annoying lesbian Ellen DeGeneres. Jillian Harris is probably a lezzie herself. She’s a vagina muncher I can tell, but she’s also a desperate attention whore who will do anything, even play straight just to get on TV. Fucking Alberta inbreds, I tell ya!