Beer Steak Bullshit

Gay Kiss Heinz Deli Mayo Ad that featured two dudes with kids kissing was pulled from off the UK air after Heinz company received more than 200 complains form some insecure losers. I’m not gay myself, but I have many gay friends and they are responsible citizens, much more so than most straight guys and girls who leave unwanted kids run all over the place.

The losers complained that this Gay Kiss ad, which advertises Heinz Deli Mayonnaise, is not suitable for children or some shit like that. I mean… what? There are only two dudes kissing. It’s not like they fingered each other’s anal lobes. There wasn’t even any French tongue action involved (not that I would want to watch that). Damn, Brits need to pull their heads out of their asses.

The rep for Heinz UK said that it was their company policy to listen to complaints of their customers. Well, over 200 jackasses complained, but WTF? As a reaction, gay groups from all over the UK are calling on boycotting Heinz because they’re gay (no pun intended) and they’re right. How gay of them. The pull, not the ad.

I did like how “mom” the chef called his partner “sweet cheeks”. That was the highlight of the ad for me

If you haven’t seen the goods, the video is below:

The world has a new Ugliest Dog. Chinese Crested Dog Gus won 2008 contest aimed at rewarding the World’s Ugliest Dog.

Gus only has one eye and three legs and suffers form skin cancer. His tongue ceremoniously hangs out of his mouth even as he rests in the arms of Jeanenne Teed - his owner. Gus was clearly crowd’s favorite but it wasn’t an easy contest. All 15 contestants were many sorts of “ugly”, each in their own way, but once the guy gets past initial detest, there is a lot of beauty to be found in those pugs. I betcha they can pull serious puppy eyes at you when hey want to play. How could you resist those eyes?

The world’s ugliest dog contest is held annually at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Petaluma, California. Check out –> pictures of world’s ugliest dogs winners from previous here and compare them to Gus. Who would get your vote?

Image credit: Associated Press

This is very sad. Scott Kalitta an American two time drag racing champion died on Saturday after his “funny car” aka Toyota Solara exploded during Old Bridge Township Raceway Park NHRA qualifying drag race. The video of fatal explosion that left Scott Kalitta Dead is below. Above is the picture of the “funny car” as it just caught fire, milliseconds before it exploded, taking the life of Scott Kalitta away.

The crash happened during the final round of Lucas Oil NHRA SuperNationals qualifying races. Scott Kalitta’s car was leading the race and travelling at estimated 300 miles per hour when it caught fire, but continued at its speed until it hid the barrier at the end of track and exploded, killing the racer inside.

Scott Kalitta won 18 drag races during his career. He started racing in 1982. RIP

This is the video of Scott Kalitta’s fatal explosion from the viewpoint of TV crew cameras:

And an amateur video footage of the drag racer’s death filmed by the fan in the audience:

Image credit: Associated press

If you were Jamie Lynn Spears, the most famous teen mother and sister of Britney Spears who just gave birth to a first born baby girl named Maddie Briann, would you post her first ever pictures on your MySpace profile? The picture above what is allegedly Jamie Lynn Spears baby picture that she allegedly posted on her alleged profile. I’m having hard time eating it, and here is why:

Do you know how much media outlets offer for exclusive pictures of new born babies? It’s 7 figures. $10 million easy. Why would first Jamie Lynn Spears baby pictures get posted on her MySpace? She could make millions of dollars if she let professional photographers of some magazines do it. But then again - you never know, right? She’s the one who got knocked up at th age of 16 and carried a baby in her womb for 9 months. Heavens know how messed up a head of Jamie Lynn Spears is.

Anyway, what you see above was posted on a MySpace profile that claims to belong to Jamie Lynn Spears. Anyone can create a profile on MySpace and thousands claim to be somebody they are not. Guess we’ll have to wait before we know for sure whether these are real pictures of Maddie Briann or not. We’ll find out soon. Stay tuned.

Priceless quote by Samuel L. Jackson aka Jules Winnfield in Quentin Tarantino’s unforgettable flick Pulp Fiction - “Spanglish Motherfucker, Do You Speak It?” - at least this is what Jules would say if he was up to par with new ad lingo. Spanglish is in. If you don’t speak Spanglish, you’ll be asked to describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like. Does he look like a bitch?

Your guess is right. Even if you’ve never heard of term “Spanglish”, you know exactly what it is. Spanglish is here, because some people don’t just suck, they suck in two languages. It’s like wiggers - you combine apples and oranges to create a fusion that’s for retards and next thing you know, it becomes a fad, it becomes standard, it becomes part of your life.

Spanglish is not anything that was invented yesterday. It’s been here for as long as retards have been here - which is a long ass time, sport. You can hear it in most places around the US, because Spanish is widely spread, especially in southern parts of the country and more and more Latino immigrants flood the country on a daily basis.

What it all means to you is… you better start learning to speak Spanglish. Because with massive influx of Spanish speaking immigrants, you will soon be dumbfolded if you can’t speak it. Spanglish is gonna become widely spoken all over the place and before you realize, someone will point a gun at you and say - Spanglish Motherfucker, Do You Speak It?

Today is the First Day of Summer and I could not be more depressed. The summer is here and I haven’t done anything, haven’t seen anything, haven’t been anywhere, haven’t fucked anyone… wait. That donkey sex doesn’t count, I was the reciever… all right?

First Day of Summer typically makes everyone happier than on any other day of the year. It’s true. According to one of those studies they conduct all the time, more people are happy on the first day of summer than any other day making me the most miserable person in the world. Why do I have to be grumpy when everyone around me is happy? Oh, damn. That’s probably why. Happy people piss me the fuck off. Can’t stand that shit.

The first day of summer is also the longest day of the year. Fucking great. Not only am I miserable, I also know it’s gonna last longer than normal. Screw that shit, I’m gonna watch granny porn.

OK, now I’m pissed. Why doesn’t shit like that every happen in my neighborhood. I’d mass assist any number of teens in getting them pregnant just because they want to rebel. Hell, I’ve got enough anxious sperm in my testicules to impregnate one hot chick every hour. Just bring them on. Actually, I think I should move to Gloucester, Massachusetts at least while the pregnancy pact lasts. I could just stick around Gloucester High School, look inconspicuous and offer subconscious nudges to by passing teens eager to get themselves pregnant. Now here’s the tip… Would be nice to get sex with a person at last!

Here’s what’s going on. Officials from the town of Gloucester, Massachusetts believe that the reason behind abnormally increased occurrences of teen pregnancies is a Pregnancy Pact. They believe that those dumb sluts who got knocked up are actually smart enough to form a Pregnancy Pact which would be exactly what t sounds like - they would all have a goal of getting themselves pregnant. Do you think teen chicks have enough brain cells to come with an idea of a pregnancy pact all by themselves or was there a “can’t get sex with a real girl, so let me cheat my way into someone’s vagina” pact founded by some losers like me who couldn’t get pussy so they fix themselves up with brainless (likely fake blond) chicks form Gloucester High School? I wish i were smart enough to start my pack that knocks chicks up. Wait a second….

Don’t mess with the ants. I mean, seriously, they are crazy. Look at this insane time lapse video of dead gecko getting swarmed by the ants, eaten to the last cell of flesh and then getting completely taken apart, bone after bone and carried away. Insanity. If ants got pissed off with everybody, they could sort us out like we wouldn’t believe.

This gets me thinking - if you exhume a person that’s been buried for some time and you find nothing in the coffin - look at the closest anthill. You may find the collection of bones in their kingdom.

Bailey DeLuca - baby of Scott Baio and Renee Sloan was diagnosed with GA-1 shortly after her birth in November of last year. Bailey DeLuca was born prematurely and GA1, a metabolic disorder that can potentially cause death was a source of horror and nightmares for Scott Baio and Renee Sloan. Further testing now returned negative results, probing the horror as false. Bailey DeLuca does not suffer form GA1, reports People’s Celebrity Baby Blog.

Scott Baio says this was the worst time of his life. But after 10 weeks of testing, the GA1 positive results proved to have been false and Scott Baio Baby Horror is done with. We wish the family only goodest of times ahead

What a cute chick she was when she was in Junior High. DListed posted a vintage yearbook picture of Playboy Playmate Shauna Sand from Muirlands Junior High School in La Jolla, California. She was a cute chick back then, now she’s a plastic, anorexic fake blond with gross fake boobs. BTW, if you in dire need of vomiting, check out nip slip and pussy flas pics of Shauna Sand which look as though her nipple was going to fall off. Pretty gross. The link is NSFW, though.

Compare the shit for yourself:

above - Shauna Sand Yearbook Pic from Muirlands Junior High School in La Jolla
below - Shauna Sand today as plastic fake blonde looking ho always wearing stripper high heels with see through platforms.