Irreconcilable Differences – that’s got to be the most commonly used reason for divorce in Hollywood. This time it’s actor Mel Gibson whose wife Robyn Gibson has had enough of him filed for divorce and quote Irreconcilable Differences as reason. What better way to celebrate Easter than by getting your lawyer hand divorce papers to your significant other.
Mel Gibson divorce comes after 28 years of marriage to his wife Robyn. You’d think after 28 years as married couple they would bite the bullet and pull through the rest. Maybe it’s all different – maybe Robyn Gibson is a gold digger extraordinaire who was patiently waiting for 28 years cause she knows the settlement will be generous. Perhaps 28 years was worth it and all she could think of during that time was the chunk she was gonna get one day. She’d be a good wifey, blowing on Mel’s peen as he wished, cause she saw the fortune in the distance that would be all hers one day. That day is here. Let’s call it “The Easter Split of the Gibson’s”.
As it turns out, when Mel Gibson married Robyn, the two did not sign a prenup, hence according to the law of California, the Robyn Gibson will be entitled to half of Mel Gibson’s fortune. Damn, 28 years were worth it. Mel Gibson has been a big movie star and producer for 3 decades. His fortune is estimated at close to one billion. What a score for that gold digger. She can merrily quote Borat: “Success”!
The Mel Gibson divorce will likely involve the biggest divorce settlement in the history of Hollywood, but it will likely go smoothly and quietly. Mel has got more than enough to give away so both parties will end up with pockets full of cash. According to reports by TMZ who were the first to bring the news of Mel Gibson divorce, Robyn Gibson is also seeking spousal support, attorney fees and joint custody of their 10 year old son – the only of their 7 children who is still underage.
Barack Obama continues his blood filled charade of being the most murderous country leader of all time. Not even Easter time is sacred enough for this man who gave orders to shoot to kill the Somali pirates who held Captain Richard Phillips captive aboard a lifeboat. Obama’s blessing to kill everyone and anyone was a green light to bloodthirsty, trigger happy US Navy Seals who wasted no time and unleashed their killing spree on Somali pirates killing all three of them. The fourth one was aboard USS Bainbridge negotiating exchange of Captain Phillips for money or whatever it is pirates are after.
The bloodthirsty navy seals who are as happy to kill without reason as Barack Obama is to give orders to kill without reason, fabricated their ridiculousness with blatant lies. According to one of the worthless, bloodthirsty navy seals, the life of Captain Phillips was in imminent danger so they opened fire killing all three pirates on the lifeboat where Richard Phillips was held captive.
Well, I understand the excuse like that would work for your average Obama voter, cause just as their leader, they have no brain either. So they would take this stupidity for a reason why three pirates were killed. For those of use who can add two and two, we don’t need ridiculousness to recognize bloodthirsty ambitions. The killing of pirates by US navy seals was nothing less than murder. A mindless killing for sport. The pirates had no intentions to cause any bodily harm to anyone, the life of Captain Phillips was in no danger whatsoever – he was looked after and held without harm. Even his attempt to escape was treated with respect. He was not killed, nor was he harmed despite failed escape. Still, the worm dick navy seals say Captain Phillips was in imminent danger – way to compensate for your undeveloped dicks, dicks!
Johanna Cox is the latest addition to the ever sustaining family of gold diggers. As it turns out, Johanna Cox is the new girlfriend of Alec Baldwin.
I’m kind of surprised that Alec Baldwin still does movies. Apparently director Derick Martini thought Alec was worthwhile and gave him the role in the movie Lymelife. Wait – Alec Baldwin produced that movie… Nevermind, I take my previous statement back.
Before she hooked up with Alec Baldwin, Johanna Cox appeared on TV as contestant in the reality TV show Stylista. Since she kicked everyone’s ass, she ended up winning and was awarded a one year gig with Elle Magazine as a fashion editor. She’s presently still working for Elle as part of her Stylista victory.
Johanna Cox is 29 year old, Alec Baldwin is 51 year old. I’m sure there’s no gold digging involved, it’s pure love. Must be. Hope she understands the dos and don’ts of successful gold diggers. She wouldn’t want to end up like Sarah Larson. Until you are married to your big fish, you got to keep it low profile and suck it up the best you can. Your “sponsor” always does everything right and everything he says is right and said the best it can be said. Give best blowjobs in the world, always swallow and tell your sponsor how incredibly he makes you cum.
The reports are speculating that Johanna Cox is Alec Baldwin’s new girlfriend because Alec took her to the premiere of Lymelife in New York and the two seemed into each other. Congrats to Johanna Cox on scoring a big one. Her life all of a sudden starts to have the meaning.
Photo of Johanna Cox, the video of her in Stylista is below:
Jose Luis Galindo-Sanchez and his brother Lucio Galindo-Sanchez are both Mexicans who were illegally in the USA. On Wednesday April 8th, 2009 the brothers were driving a pick-up truck on their way from a sprinkler company in Medford where they illegally worked. Jose Luis Galindo-Sanchez was driving and utilizing his unsurpassed driving skills, he broadsided the vehicle driven by a 27 year old, 7th grade teacher Amy Voorhees killing her on the spot.
At time of this post the police have not made an official statement as to whether any traffic laws were violated prior to crash that killed Amy Voorhees, however both Galindo-Sanchez brothers were taken to police custody and are held on an immigration detainer.
26 year old Jose Luis Galindo-Sanchez (shown in the photo above on the left) is charged with obstruction of justice, hindering apprehension and witness tampering as he told his brother to leave the scene after the crash. Lucio Galindo-Sanchez was apprehended a quarter mile away as is being held as material witness.
Amy Voorhees was a teacher at Evesham’s DeMasi Middle School. She was killed on her way to work. According to New Jersey State police statistics, Amy Voorhees is the 11th car accident fatality in Burlington County this year. The incident is being investigated by the New Jersey State Police, the Evesham Police Department and the Burlington County Prosecutor’s Office.
38 year old Kelly Coffman-Lee from Denver, Colorado says she’s a vegan who loves Tofu so much, she wanted a personalized license plate which would clearly express her love for tofu. Because number of letters you can put on a license plate is limited, Kelly Coffman-Lee abbreviated her originally intended “I LOVE TOFU” into ILVTOFU and applied for a vanity license plate with her local DMV (Division of Motor Vehicles). When DMV official saw the tofu license plate and put a big “rejected” sign on it because of possible double meaning. And rightly so.
According to Mark Couch, a spokesman for Colorado Department of Revenue, FU is not allowed on license plates as it can be misrepresented as “street language for sex”. That’s the way he put it, cause he needs to remain politically correct, I’d say it straight: “Bitch says she wants a tofu license plate but she just wants to let everyone know that she’s a horny cougar who wants to fuck”. It’s like re-living If You Seek Amy all over again, only on a smaller scale.
Seriously, I believe DMV made the right decision. Even though the reason they rejected the tofu license plate was because they have strict guidelines they have to follow. According to the officials, they regularly meet in order to make sure license plates are free of letters that abbreviate drug terms, gang slang or obscene phrases. So they really just followed their protocol when they rejected the ILVTOFU, but I read this Kelly Coffman-Lee like an open book and this is what I see:
Kelly Coffman-Lee is a 38 year old woman – in other words, she’s a horny cougar in heat. Her clit is probably size of boar penis with brain of its own and it’s constantly asking to get rubbed. Secondly – I don’t care how much you love tofu, I don’t care if all you ever eat is tofu, I don’t even care if you’re so fond of tofu you stick it up your vagina to masturbate with it. But nobody in the damn world ever wants a tofu license plate – a license plate which would say ILVTOFU – just because of your love for tofu. Regardless of how much you love tofu and how big a part of your life tofu is, nobody would ever want that expressed on their license plate. I’ve seen weird in my time, but nobody is this weird. This Kelly Coffman-Lee is simply one horny MILF who really needs to get it on at all times and love for good fuck is definitely a worthy cause for a vanity license plate. Love for tofu is NOT. It just happened that “I Love To Fuck You” abbreviates to ILVTOFU hence tofu came in as handy excuse. Well, surprise… it didn’t work for you, Kelly Coffman-Lee. You ain’t fooling anyone with that trickery!
Easter is here. Most people are aware of it, whether you’re a Christian or not. Did you know that Holy Thursday, which is the day before Good Friday is the day of Jesus Christ’s Last Supper? The last meal that Jesus shared with his Apostles before he was crucified, the Institution of the Holy Eucharist and the Sacrament of Ordination are commemorated today as Holy Thursday.
Holy Thursday (also known as Maundy Thursday) is also the beginning of Triduum – the three days immediately preceding Easter. For Christians, Triduum is the most sacred part of the year. It’s the heart of Holy Week, the feast of feasts, the most sacred part of the Church’s liturgical year. Have a great Holy Thursday and a Happy Easter.
Warehouse forklift accidents are not uncommon and if they occur, they typically cause a lot of damage. If you work as a forklift operator in a warehouse, you should know that it takes one second, one silly move and whole warehouse could get destroyed. The video above is from Moscow, Russia. At one moment, the racks were loaded with boxes full of bottled Vodka. Seconds later, a qarter million dollars worth of this alcoholic beverage was destroyed. No people were seriously injured in the accident, but employer was definitely not happy about it. Nevermind the cleaning shift.
Jamie Waylett is best known for being the fatty bully Vincent Crabbe from the Harry Potter movies. In a string of unfortunate events, Jamie Waylett was busted for growing his own marijuana. That spoils the image of bully big time. Bullies don’t have brain capacity to grow their own weed. They drive pick up trucks, have small penises and talk about owning a gun. Potheads are cool. That only means that Jamie Waylett is a good actor. As marijuana grower he’s too cool, yet still he can pull off a role of a bully Vincent Crabbe in Harry Potter. Kudos, my friend!
Reports from Great Britain suggest that home of Jamie Waylett was busted by the police who found almost $3k worth of marijuana he’s been quietly growing himself. Jamie Waylett was apprehended by the police on April 2 as he was driving his Audi car (I told ya, he’s too cool to be a bully – dude grows his own weed and has good taste in cars). The police pulled him over because his behavior was suspicious. Personal search revealed that Harry Potter actor has eight bags of marijuana on him. Cops when raided his home where he lives with his mother and three siblings and seized 10 marijuana plants he was growing.
Because Jamie Waylett was found growing the drug, if convicted, he could be facing up to 14 years in jail. God fucking damn. 14 years in a choker for growing weed? Fuck me with a cork screw!
When the cops pulled Jamie Waylett over, he should have pulled out his magic wand and pull a magic spell at them screaming “Cannabis Maximus”
I’ll be honest with you, I’m a little bit uncertain about this American Idol performance of Adam Lambert. He was singing Tears for Fears song Mad World which happens to be one of my favorite songs and a song that incredibly fit Donnie Darko movie (Mad World was originally written by Tears for Fears but was re-recorded by Gary Jules and Michael Andrews for Donnie Darko). I’m torn because of two things – first of all, Adam Lambert is without doubt a good singer who has great control over his voice. However… at the same time – he butchered my favorite song. You can’t sing Donnie Darko’s Mad World and sound like gay slave who’s getting early morning prostate massage from his master. Adam Lambert should simply grow up and realize that he’s got a penis, which means he’s a boy, not a 12 year old girl. Girls pee from their bums. You Adam Lambert pee from your peepee. That’s why they effin call it a pee pee.
Still, Adam Lambert has got an erotic voice that can make any gay man cringe in his pants. Girls have a thing for gay singers too, I’m sure. Maybe they could share the vibrating anal plug with him. Or should I say – Adam Lambert could share his vibrating anal plug with the girls, cause it’s still up his ass spinning around since he put it up there before going on stage to sing Mad World. Great singing, Adam Lambert. You may be gayer than pink pony from Matel, but you’re a good singer. Even Simon Cowell gave you standing ovation. Maybe he wanted to try some of that anal plug you’re using.
Video of Adam Lambert singing Donnie Darko song Mad World by Tears for Fears is above. Hold your gay holes tight while you watch and don’t cream on your computer chairs. It’s gross.
Eminem is back. Yeah, shocking. I know punk’s not dead but hip-hop. It’s been dead the moment it got born. Eminem would be the only hip hop artist that’s actually bearable so let’s take a look at his first single from upcoming album Relapse – We Made You. Eminem’s lyrics are actually pretty awesome most of the time and after I’ve watched the video, I’ve decided to look into lyrics a little more closely as it features all favorite characters, like Jessica Simpson, Lindsay Lohan and the most droolicious lesbian under the son – Samantha Ronson. The best part is that the celebrities are not only sang about, they are also impersonated and looking pretty believable.
Eminem’s new album Relapse will be available in store on May 19, 2009
We Made You Lyrics
by Eminem
Intro:
Guess who?
Did ya miss me?
Jessica Simpson, sing the chorus!
CHORUS:
When you walked through the door, it was clear to me, (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see, (who they came to see)
You’re a rock star, everybody wants you…
Player, who can really blame you
We’re the ones who made you!
Verse 1:
Back by popular demand,
Now pop a little Zantac or antacid if ya can
Ready to tackle any task that is at hand
How does it feel? Is it fantastic, is it grand?
Well look at all the massive masses in the stand
Shadyman no don’t massacre the fans
Damn, I think Kim Kardashian’s a man
She stomped him just cause he asked to put his hands
on the massive gluteus maximus again
Squeeze it, then squish it then pass it to her friend
Can he come back as nasty as he can?
Yes he can can, don’t ask me this again
He does not mean the lyrics to offend
Lindsay please come back to seein’ men
Samantha’s a 2 you’re practically a 10
I know ya want me girl in fact I see your grin
CHORUS:
When you walked through the door, it was clear to me, (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see, (who they came to see)
You’re a rock star (baby), everybody wants you…
Player, who can really blame you
We’re the ones who made you!
Verse 2:
The enforcer, look at the more women to torture
Walk up to the cutest girl and charlie horse her
Sorry Portia but what’s Ellen Degeneres have that I don’t?
Are you tellin me tenderness?
Well I can be gentle and as smooth as a gentlemen
Give me my Ventolin inhaler and two Xenadrine
And I’ll invite Sarah Palin out to dinner then
Nail her, maybe say hello to my little friend
Brit quit gettin wit K Fed, let’s cut off the middlemen
Forget him or ya gonna end up in the hospital again
And this time it won’t be for the Riddalin binge
Forget them other men girl pay them little attention
and little did I mention that Jennifer’s in
Love with me John Mayer so sit on the bench
Man I swear them other guys ya give em an inch
They take a mile they got style not bigger than Slim
CHORUS:
When you walked through the door, it was clear to me, (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see, (who they came to see)
You’re a rock star (baby), everybody wants you…
Player, who can really blame you
We’re the ones who made you!
Eminem:
and that’s why Lyla you never left with out
I know ya want me girl cuz I can see you checkin me out
and baby you know,
You know you want me too,
Don’t try to deny it baby I’m the only one for you
Verse 3:
Damn girl I’m beginning to sprout an alfa alfa
Why should I wash my filthy mouth out
Ya think that’s bad you should hear the rest of my album
Never has there been such finesse and nostalgia
Man Cass I don’t mean to mess wit ya gal but
Jessica Alba put her breasts on my mouth bro
Wowsers, I just made a mess in my trousers
And they wonder why I keep dressin’ like Elvis
Lord help us he’s back in his pink house shirt
Lookin like someone shrinked his outfit
I think he’s bout to flip just a car
Rest assure Superman’s here to rescue ya
Can ya blame me? you’re my Amy I’m your Blake
Matter of fact make me a birthday cake
With a saw-blade in it to make my jail break
Baby I think you just met your soul-mate
Now break it down girl!
CHORUS:
When you walked through the door, it was clear to me, (clear to me)
You’re the one they adore, who they came to see, (who they came to see)
You’re a rock star (baby), everybody wants you…
Player, who can really blame you
We’re the ones who made you!
Eminem:
So baby baby get down, down down
So baby baby get down, down down
Baby baby get down down down
Baby get down get down
(repeated)
Oh Amy! Rehab never looked so good!
I can’t wait, I’m going back
haha…..wooooh!
Dr. Dre! 2020!
Yeah!
Eminem – We Made You Video
