Beer Steak Bullshit

Hot ass US olympic swimmer Amanda Beard must have got a vagina itch that made her file a law suit against a tanning salon company ProSun for using her hot ass photoshopped body and name on their site without her inter vaginal consent. Amanda Beard said: “morons… you can’t put my pics on your site without greasing up my wallet. What are you newbs?” Actually, she didn’t say that. I’d made that up. I think she’s too hot to be this coherent.

According to tanning salon ProSun, the pics of Amanda Beard were taken at a charity event few years ago that was graced by the presence of her invaluable vagina. ProSun felt they had the right to use the pics and so they did.

Amanda Beard needs to quit whining and show her tits already.

The picture of Amanda Beard above is copyright FHM.

Hockey player Sean Avery (Dallas Stars) has made countless remarks that made NHL official cringe, but it looks like this time he stepped way overboard and NHL is pissed. TSN interviewed Sean Avery during a warm up skate in Calgary on Tuesday Sean made a remark aimed at his ex Elisha Cuthbert who is now dating Calgary Flames defenseman Dion Phaneuf:

I’m really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada. I just wanted to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about. But, enjoy the game tonight.

Sloppy seconds? Got to remember that one…

NHL has decided to suspend Sean Avery indefinitely shortly after his comments, pending a hearing with commissioner Gary Bettman. Dallas Stars owner Tom Hicks also endorsed the decision of the NHL to suspend Avery and said that “This organization will not tolerate such behavior, especially from a member of our hockey team. We hold our team to a higher standard and will continue to do so.”

I liked the “sloppy seconds” comment, but it seems as though the NHL couldn’t wait to get rid of Sean Avery. It really doesn’t seem like such a big deal, but worked fine for the men behind the scenes to ban his ass. No word on what her lame ass Elisha Cuthbert thinks of it. Her best bet is not to comment… do you think she can hold off, or will she come with more creative name for indefinitely suspended Sean Avery?

Sean Avery Photo by Bruce Bennett of Getty Images North America

I have just returned from an epic 7 night adventure in wonderful Cuba. Now I’m back to freezing Edmonton, it’s middle of the night and unfortunately my luggage got lost. A bit of a sad ending to the most awesome adventure of my life, but I still hope SunWing will be able to track my shit down. I have two boxes of finest Cuban cigars and a bottle of aged Cuban rum there. Fuck all the clothes and toiletries…

I’m too tired right now, got to get some sleep. The adventure was worth it, I’m glad i didn’t go for an all inclusive vacation… Cuba for the win

This is the video everybody wanted to see – Sarah Palin is interviewed on a turkey farm while show off guy in the background is slaughtering turkeys. The blood is flowing and the guy is just staring at the camera as giant turkeys are being butchered. And Sarah Palin just talks and talks in the same exciting way she always does. Smile on her face is a given.

The interview was conducted by a local reporter from KTUU-TV in Wasilla, Alaska. Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey for Thanksgiving but Triple D Farms worker obviously enjoyed promenading himself within camera’s point of view slaughtering one turkey after another by putting them head first into a grinder. The moron continuously stared at the camera like he was a fucking star of the show.

Paparazzi got a million dollar shot capturing the pics of Prince William’s naked penis as he was pissing in the field during a polo game. I don’t know what one would expect from a pic of a penis – it kind of looks like a penis to me, but fact be told – it’s a royal penis. That one penis that belongs to future king of Britain. Or as Brits would say – that’s Willy’s willy…

I’m not posting no pics of Prince William Naked Penis on here. But if you’re a fan of watersports or just like seeing pics of penises, the uncensored version of heir’s to the British throne’s piss gushing, uncircumcised penis can be found on the link below (it’s NSFW):

Prince William Penis Pics – Pissing and Uncircumcised

This is the video of that tool bag female astronaut Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper who lost the tool bag worth $100,000 in space.

Video actually shows gross negligence on behalf of astronaut Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper who let go of the tool bag, likely thinking that it will float right next to her, but the tool bg decided to float away while the dumb bag astronaut watched it go away for good.

According to NASA, any debris floating up in space can reach the speed of 22,000 miles per hour. Any particle flying at that speed can cause severe damage to a craft controlled by people. NASA actually reports that had to replace 80 windows on their space crafts that got damaged as result of collision with small objects, such as a drop of paint that fell off during careless painting by another astronaut.

Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper was spacewalking with her tool bag in effort to clean and lube up a joint on a solar panel outside the international space station. She said her grease gun exploded on her which is why her clumsy hands let the tool bag with all her tools float off. Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper is part of seven member crew on Endeavour. Another crew member – Stephen Bowen provided his tools so the greasing effort was accomplished.

This is pretty crazy. Young Mexican featherweight boxer Daniel Aguillón was fighting a match against Alejandro Sanabria, also from Mexico on October 15, 2008 in Polanco, Mexico. In 12th round, 40 seconds before the end of the super featherweight bout for the Central American title, Alejandro Sanabria knocked out Daniel Aguillón with a brutal punch to the jaw and Daniel fell on the ring floor unconscious. Medics took him to the hospital, but after 5 days in a coma, Daniel Aguillón was pronounced dead. He was 24 year old

During his professional boxing career, Daniel Aguillón went through several matches and his score was 16-4-2. Nine of sixteen won matches were won by knock out. I like watching boxing (or any martial art for that matter) but don’t consider myself an expert. I don’t however think boxers consider dying in the ring any form of great way of passing. I think it’s terrible for any boxer to die as direct result of a boxing fight. If I was to guess, I’d think boxers would want to put on a few years of boxing, make themselves some money and retire early on before there’s any bad damage done to their brain and hopefully their accomplishments would have left the legacy so their name is forever connected with boxing.

The video of the knock out that killed Daniel Aguillón is below. 24 year old is too young to go. Daniel didn’t have a chance to make a big name for himself in boxing, but let’s hope boxing world will not forget him. I wouldn’t be surprised if Alejandro Sanabria – a guy who delivered the punch that killed Daniel Aguillón called it quits and left the ring for good. I don’t know how I would deal with death of a fellow sportsman.

It’s official – Karolina Kurkova has NO belly button. That’s one complete belly button FAIL. Karolina Kurkova is a popular Victoria’s Secret model and VS reps admitted that she’s got no belly button so their digital artists fix up her skin and give her something that resembles belly button. FAIL!

That’s more FAIL at one spot than I can handle. Isn’t Victoria’s Secret a lot about lingerie and shit – aka stuff that requires models to show their navel? Are Victoria’s Secret people so short of models they must use a model without belly button and hire photoshop artists to make her have one. Isn’t there a plethora of beautiful women out there who have complete bodies suitable for bikini modeling without the need for digital belly button? Why Karolina Kurkova? What’s so special about her? I mean I’d stick my horny finger in her pie hole any day, but there are so many “complete” models out there who not only look hotter than Karolina Kurkova, they also have… well – a fucking belly button. Karolina Kurkova has got none and I only hope her pussy is not sealed the same way either. That would suck. Guy can always fuck her in the ass, but damn… piece of shin where you expect a cavity? Victoria’s Secret – why?

Pic below is priceless. Other Victoria’s Secret model is actually staring at Karolina Kurkova’s Belly Button and has no fucking idea what the heck that shit’s all about. Photoshoppers did some pathetic job fixing it so to a regular masturbating manwhore like me it’d look normal upon first glance, but it’s not. How awesome – Karolina Kurkova Belly Button FAIL!

Plus if you look at the pic on top – Karolina Kurkova has got no labia either. There’s just a gross overused camel toe. No labia. That woman is a big FAIL. I’d still finger that shit.

Shit like that really pisses me off. Why did I not have a teacher like Victoria Ann Chacon. This 27 year old cougar bought a cell phone, gave it to some minor kid and started sending him topless pics of herself. Moronic kid must not have got the memo. If I had a MILF teacher sending me naked pics of herself to a cell phone she bought for me, I’d reply with an sms message with directions to a closest dumpster so I can get my first anal sex experience. Victoria Ann Chacon – that name itself gives me an itch. Fucking annoying shit – why teachers like that never taught at schools I’ve attended?

Victoria Ann Chacon, a teacher of the Somerset Independent School District was charged with distributing harmful material to a minor and was dismissed. The moronic kid to whom she was sending topless pics was not her student. Still moronic.

Victoria Ann Chacon allegedly met the 14 year old San Antonio boy at the church (I should start attending church masses if that’s where all horny cougars who want to fuck go).

People’s magazine has published their annual Sexiest Man Alive list for 2008 and I really don’t know what the fuck they’re smoking. According to People’s, the sexiest man alive is Hugh Jackman Australian actor best known as Logan/Wolverine from X-Men trilogy. And while yes – he’s done a great job on Logan, and as Gabriel Van Helsing in that other movie he stared in – the sexiest man alive? But then again, what do I know about men and sexy… If it doesn’t have vagina, it’s not sexy to me. Actually, that’s not quite true, Bill Kaulitz of Tokio Hotel is fuckable even to a deviated straight male with no morals

Speaking of vaginas – why exactly is Zach Effron on People’s Sexiest Man Alive list? I’m sure that guy has a vagina. He must have more make-up in his purse than any chick in a whorehouse.

By being voted People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2008, Hugh Jackman has joined the ranks of Matt Damon, Brad Pitt or George Clooney (the latter two had been voted People’s Sexiest Man Alive twice).