Beer Steak Bullshit

The relationship between Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore started by bumping each other’s naked genitals and the two have now decided to move it to the whole new level. No, I’m not talking about anal sex. Singer Ryan Adams and his girlfriend, singer and actress Mandy Moore got engaged. Boring…

The news of engagement (that could be the title of the movie) was confirmed by couple’s publicist Jillian Fowkes. Awesome, celebrities have publicists to inform general public of their bullshit. Why don’t publicists step up and tell us how far Mandy Moore can deepthroat.

Mandy Moore was previously bumping genitals with DJ AM. That part of her sexual experience was over, but it seemed as though she was getting back to him after that unfortunate plane crash situation with Travis Barker. As we can see, there was no fire out of that spark. Instead her vaginal magnet got a attracted to the magnetism of Ryan Adams’ penis. The magnetic force of his mighty stick kept dragging Mandy Moore’s vagina close and closer until that think wrapped itself closely around man’s mighty shaft. And today the magnetic field prevailed and the couple is engaged.

Seriously, do you think Ryan Adams shaves his pubes? He strikes me like the kind of guy who waxes his genitals. Mandy Moore on the other hand surely grows nice patch of hair between her legs.

Mandy Moore is releasing new CD in May called Amanda Leigh. Ryan Adams is being more romantic and is looking to leave The Cardinals to focus entirely on poem writing. His first book bearing the title Infinity Blues will be released soon.

Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams photo credit: WENN

20 year old Brooke Heike who likes to suck cock more than lick clitoris is suing her basketball couch Sue Guevara as well as an entire Central Michigan school. Brooke Heike says that she was revoked her scholarship because she wasn’t a lesbian. What’s a big deal, I’d turn lesbian if there was free money in it for me. Brooke Heike is making a big deal out of pussy rubbing.

Native to Washington Township, Brooke Heike filed a lawsuit in U.S. District Court in Bay City on Friday, claiming Sue Guevara didn’t like that she sucked cock and dressed up like cheap ho which resulted in stoppage on her scholarship. To put it in Brooke’s terms, Sue Guevara was constantly harassing the dick liker about her clothes, her boyfriend (all chicks with boyfriends are gross, fuck I hate chicks who have boyfriends), her make up and all that shite. Brooke Heike was eventually kicked off the basketball team after two seasons. She was probably sore in the pooper after constant anal sex with her boyfriend and couldn’t run. So she got kicked the fuck out of the team.

If I were a basketball couch, I’d fire her ass too. Look at her luscious lips. Wouldn’t you want them wrapped around your genitalia? Now imagine they get wrapped around somebody else’s genitalia. That’s a good enough reason to get rid of her provoking ass. Either suck on my cock (clit in case of Sue Guevara) or GTFO. It’s that simple. Some whores need to learn which cock to suck. Brooke Heike can always suck on mine and I’ll write something nice about her.

Yesterday I posted the video of Jeremy Lusk’s accident and wanted to wish him strenght so he could pull through even though his condision was serious. Few hours later, motorcycle freestyler succumbed to his injuries. It comes with utmost sadness that I have to announce the death of Jeremy Lusk and I hope his soul rests in peace. He passed away doing what he loved.

Jeremy Lusk died while still at intensive care unit in the Calderon Hospital in Costa Rica. His mother and father, his children and wife, his inlaws and friends from Metal Mulisha were all there with him during the final moments of his life, even though Jeremy was in medically induced coma.

When doctors were draining hematoma from his skull, they said there was only 5% chance of making it past the operation. This part actually went well, but his brain was enlarged making it impossible to close the skull back up. The complications added up to the point that it eventually claimed his life. RIP Jeremy Lusk

Longer version of the video is below:

Rihanna’s real name is Robyn Fenty. And you’re probably thinking the same as I was – who the fuck is Rihanna? And… who the fuck cares. The answer is simple – nobody. That applies to both questions. I’ve done some research on Robyn Fenty aka Rihanna and yes, there’s some painfully awful music connected with her name. Made me puke rum and coke out of my beer gut. Luckily I puked in a bucket so it all went back in the gut.

The reason why name Robyn Fenty started popping out, even though almost nobody knows Rihanna under that name, is alleged attack on her by the one person who does know her as Robyn Fenty – Chris Brown. That’s another douche who should get proper education on what the music should sound like so he no longer tortures our ear drums with his shit. Chris Brown had erection problems or some shit, got all pissy about it and beat the fuck out of his girlfriend Rihanna. He’s now facing domestic violence charges.

The whole incident took place in Hancock Park, which is part of Los Angeles, California. Cali cops arrested Chris Brown, but have the policy not to issue names of victims of domestic violence crimes, so it is not 100% known whether it was in fact Robyn Fenty he beat the shit out of. Several mainstream media however identified the victim as Robyn Fenty, who was also seen entering Cedar hospital.

I made that shit about erection problems up, but I’m trying to think of any other reason why a douche would beat up his girlfriend. Maybe Rihanna gave Christ Brown herpes for all I know. That’s all but speculations. The reason I can’t think of any reasons, is because I don’t remember last time I had a girlfriend. I don’t even see erection problems as problems. I’m actually glad if I can locate my penis within never-ending folds of fat that built up around my waist area. I’m lucky they make stationary dildoes. I can always superglue one of those on my oversized chair, pour motor oil on it and shove it up my ass as I’m sitting on the chair. Yes, I still have sex life, as you can see.

And just in case talking about crappy music spoiled your day, let me fix you up. None of that Robyn Fenty aka Rihanna shit, enough of that Chris Brown bullcrap, have some motherfucking Gojira from Hellfest 2006 in France. Fucking sick shit!

Motorcycle freestyler Jeremy Lusk had a bad accident during a competition in Costa Rica and remains in coma and critical condition. The competition was broadcast by Costa Rican television so the accident is recorded on a video. Jeremy Lusk, who’s a member of freestyle biker group called Metal Mulisha attempted a front flip and it didn’t quite go as he would have imagined. After a bit of a flight, Jeremy Lusk landed on his head which was stopped by the ground, while his body continued in a motion down the hill, ultimately twisting biker’s neck. He remained motionless on the ground as medical personnel approached his body to take care of him.

After the accident, Jeremy Lusk was immediately moved to Calderon Hospital in San Jose where he was put into a doctor induced coma, because his brain was swelling. Coma apparently pauses your brain from functioning which could prevent it from suffering permanent damage as result of unwanted activity. According to Metal Mulisha publicist Cheryl Lynch, Jeremy Lusk underwent 4 hours long brain surgery as soon as he was hospitalized to deal with subdural hematoma.

Cheryl Lynch further stated that Jeremy Lusk didn’t suffer any damage to his neck or spinal cord. So even though it appears from the video as though his neck got it really bad, it wasn’t in fact his neck, it was the blow to his head that struck his brain badly and knocked him unconscious.

Following hours are crucial for Jeremy Lusk. Doctors are scarce on details, but they all say the same thing – the future of Jeremy Lusk will be decided in next couple of days. Many fans of Metal Mulisha or just freelance motocross in general are sending their prayers his way. There’s been an emergency fund set up on Athlete Recovery Fund Website where people willing to donate to help with Jeremy Lusk’s recovery can do so easily with just a click of a button.

Hope he pulls through. Video of the accident is below:

Jeremy Lusk Picture Credit: ESPN Images

Chris Jericho, the biggest pussy in the world proved once and for all what I’ve been saying forever – wrestlers are a joke. Bunch of fucking pussies on steroids who would never be able to stand up against an equal man or compete in a sport for real men. Wrestlers dope themselves up on steroids to shrink their already invisible little dicks even more and pretend to be bad ass. Where as all they can do is beat a girl.

Biggest pussy of all pussy wrestler Chris Jericho punched a girl in the face cause he can’t get his dick up to fuck a girl, so he at least beats them up. I only hope that stupid girl collects her shit together and starts sucking dick of someone worthwhile, like me for a change. She was dumb enough to begin with to recognize the pussy Chris Jericho and be a fan of his. Who in their right state of mind is a fan of wrestling? Nobody unless you’re such complete loser as wrestlers themselves. If you still watch wrestling, i think it’s time to reevaluate your purpose on the planet Earth. I hear they sell decent rope in Canadian Tire so you can hang yourself. Please die if you’re a fucking loser unable to add two and two together.

Let’s get back to biggest peacock pussy of a wrestler Chris Jericho. Listen you pussy, are your punches so girl weak that you feel the need to punch girls? And cut that stupid weed you’re growing on top of your brainless, roid filled skull!

Video of pussy wrestler Chris Jericho punching a girl is below. If you look closely, he actually spits on the girl first, before punching her. Take a good look at about 0.32

Golfing sensation Tiger Woods has a son. Charlie Axel Woods was born on February 8, 2009 and both Tiger Woods and his gorgeous wife Elin Nordegren are delighted. Charlie Axel Woods is Tiger’s first son and a second baby, his daughter Sam Alexis Woods is now 19 months old.

The news of Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren expecting second baby has been around for a while and here he is. I’m sure we’ll have first pictures of Charlie Axel Woods soon. If he inherited golf skills of his father, then unsurpassed reign of The Woods as best golfers of all time will continue for another generation.

Tiger Woods is arguably the best golf player of all time and I doubt anyone could suggest otherwise. He met his wife Elin Nordegren in 2001. Elin was a Swedish model at the time and got introduced to Tiger Woods by his buddy, Swedish golfer Jesper Parnevik for whom Elin Nordegren worked as an au pair (yeah, that’s European for baby sitter). Tiger and Elin immediately clicked, got married had first child and now there’s Charlie Axel Woods – another baby and a son of the best golfer. What a happy family.

This truly is no joke. This video compilation of female drivers and their capabilities while behind the steering wheel of an automobile sets the record straight. Female drivers plain and simple suck. Women belong in the kitchen and not behind the wheel. Ban female drivers. It should be illegal for anyone with a vagina to drive. People get arrested if they pose threat to public, how come females are still allowed to drive? When are we going to learn our lesson? Damn!

King of all speech impeding morans Christian Bale apologized for his fuck filled tirade against Director of Photography on the movie set for Terminator, Salvation – Shane Hurlbut. Kevin & Bean from radio show on L.A.’s KROQ caught up with Christian Bale over the phone and gave the moran a chance to apologize and explain himself. Of course Christian Bale clarified that they are best of buddies with DP Shane Hurlbut and continue tossing each other’s salads like they always have. BTW – as I was writing title for this post, I managed to misspell Christian Bale’s name. I was basically done with the post when I noticed that two of the letters at the end swapped order turning the moran into who he actually is – a fucking cry baby girl Christina Bale!

During the phone apology Christian Bale told Kevin & Bean (BTW, do all LA radio DJs suck gay cock or just these morans do, cause they are the most pathetic hosts I’ve ever heard) that his cock took over his head and as a result verbal fuck filled diarrhea came out. He was supposed to ejaculate man cum during scheduled masturbation break, but he had a permature ejaculation – through his speech impediment screwed set of mouth. Actually, he said he felt embarrassed for ejaculated fuck filled diarrhea on the set and asked everybody to ask themselves to see if they had a bad day and spewed fuck tirade just the way he did. He kind of got me when he encouraged everyone to mock his moranic ass as he deserves it. Well, here you go Christian Bale, you still fucking suck, you moran!

Full audio from an over the phone talk with Christian Bale conducted by absolutely pathetic Kevin & Bean from KROQ is below.

Christian Bale mugshot pic by WENN

Sheyla Hershey had 8 plastic surgeries to get her boobs up to 34 FFF size. Obviously, that gallon of silicon she had stuffed in her bust started invading her brain cavities and fill up the space where brain should be. Because laws of her home state of Texas limit amount of silicon dumb skanks can put in their boobs for health reasons, she could not legally enlarge her tits any more there. So what does a dumb skank do? She packs up her silicone brain and goes to Brazil, where they don’t give a shit how much silicon you have in your brain. They’d stuff you up with some more. The result? Sheyla Hershey is now sporting size 38 KKK Boobs. I don’t even want to know what her head size is now.

To date, Sheyla Hershey had 18 surgeries, including nose jobs, lip jobs, fat ass job and of course – boob fucking job. Her 38 KKK Boobs got her a spot in Brazilian Guinness Book of World Records – something to be proud off. She should have got that spot for being the dumbest woman on Earth. She seriously needs to get back on the short bus.

I’m sure it’s an meant to be coincidence that her 38 KKK Boobs have that KKK in it. I mean – boobs that size should be considered armed and dangerous and a threat to the public. If that silicone explodes in presence of a black child and pokes it in the eye, Sheyla Hershey is gonna get charged with racially motivated attack. I’m still curious, though – how the fuck did Sheyla Hershey get from Houston to Brazil? She can’t take a plane. Her tits would detonate at 500 feet altitude.

Sheyla Hershey’s 38 KKK Boobs Pic from her official website SheylaHershey.net