Beer Steak Bullshit

Brits know how to deliver a message. Even though they took the idea of extremely graphic Public Service Announcements (PSA) from Canada, cause Ontario was the first to start with it when they have released their little pieces on workplace safety. The Texting While Driving Video segment is part of a 30 minute movie produced by the British government the purpose of which is to deter drivers from texting while driving. Nice of them – in Europe they actually have the laws making texting while driving illegal. This law has been there for at least 7 years, which is when I last spent some time in Europe. We still don’t have that here in North American. Maybe some jurisdictions (some provinces in Canada or some states in the US) do have texting while driving laws in place already, but as a general rule it is still not illegal.

I don’t understand how is texting while driving still illegal. I also don’t understand how it’s not illegal for females to drive but that’s a whole new topic. Seeing how each day my life gets put in danger by some stupid ho in a Cavalier texting her gay boyfriend to put his nasty dick in her ass makes me question what our government is waiting for. All of the three should be outlawed – female drivers, females spreading vaginas for wankers, texting while driving. Problem solved, public safety significantly increased. Isn’t that the purpose of most laws? Let’s protect general public and remove dangers from our streets. Well, maybe chicks sleeping with all the wrong guys is not a danger to public safety, but wouldn’t that make for a nice law?

BTW, if you haven’t seen any of the awesome Canadian workplace safety PSAs, check out this one video below:

Miss Kosovo 2009 Gona Dragusha was the hottest contestant at last night’s Miss Universe 2009 but didn’t get the title. Beauty pageants hardly every crown the hottest, most awesome girl and 2009’s rendition of Miss Universe was no different. Gona Dragusha still did pretty good and ended up being the second runner-up, however the international pool of beauty experts agree with me – the real Miss Universe is Miss Kosovo, Gona Dragusha. None other.

There’s something fishy about Venezuela. Aside from being the most dangerous and lawless country in the world (warning, extremely graphic – only in Venezuela!), they are also the only country to win Miss Universe pageant twice in a row. This is the sixth time Miss Venezuela took off with crown of Miss Universe. And Stefania Fernandez really has nothing on Gona Dragusha. But then again, Miss Universe is owned and controlled by mighty Donuld Trump himself who’s known for having an awful taste in women. I wonder why he favors Venezuela so much…

The Miss Universe pageant took place last night at the Atlantis, Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas. Miss Venezuela Stefania Fernandez was chosen as the winner out of 83 contestants. Miss Dominican Republic – Ada Aimee de la Cruz ended up being the first runner up and Miss Kosovo Gona Dragusha was the second runner up. Miss Australia Rachael Finch finished fourth and Miss Puerto Rico Mayra Matos Perez got the spot #5.

Famous rapper Snoop Dogg was on the anniversary edition of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and was totally awesome. I liked the cool he kept and how he was respectful and calm throughout his moment. He didn’t do none of that lame bro shit, yo! which is really bad ass, cause Patricia Heaton, who was on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire before completely sucked. Snoop Dogg, even though he didn’t know the answer to a question about the movie Watchmen, he still ended up coming as a winner both by making right choices and by the way he presented himself. Utmost kudos and respect to the Dogg. His t-shirt rocked too.

That’s awesome. Former “person of interest” turned “Jasmine Fiore Murder Suspect” Ryan Jenkins fled back to his homeland of Canada to roam in my neighborhood. The “Megan Wants a Millionaire” reality TV star Ryan Jenkins must have ate some of that silicone from his dead wife’s tits to think that escaping to Canada will save him from being turned over to the Orange Country police. N00b. If he wanted to flee, he should have bolted for Mexico and then to Venezuela or another lawless country. Where is he gonna hide here in Canada. Unless Sasquatch himself shelters him inside a Tunnel Mountain in the Rockies, he’s not gonna be on the loose for too long. But then again, he never showed much smart. Afterall, he married Jasmine Fiore.

Orange County District Attorney confirmed that Reality TV star Ryan Jenkins is wanted for murder of Jasmine Fiore and warrant has been issued for his arrest. Tom Monson, Chief of Police from the Buena Park Police Department said they were gonna hunt Ryan Jenkins down in a “vigorous pursuit of justice” – lol. When a cop gets all poetic and poop, it gives me shizzles.

The police also revealed further details regarding murder of Jasmine Fiore – Ryan Jenkins allegedly also busted her teeth out and chopped off her finger. The motive of murder is unknown. It has also not been specified whether Ryan Jenkins is being charged with first degree or second degree murder.

Given Ryan Jenkins’ reality TV career – I keep wondering how he got on the show and how he stayed there? I thought Megan wanted to score herself a millionaire, but not a married millionaire. Ryan Jenkins was married to Jasmine Fiore. I also don’t get how he didn’t realize he would be the primary suspect in his wife’s murder case. Being a millionaire, he could have paid a hitman to take her down. Or just give a couple hundred bucks to some El Salvadorian gang members to rape her and slice her up and that would be it. He’d have solid alibis by being a guest of honor at a resort in Ibiza, the life would go on nice and sweet. Megan Wants a Millionaire TV show would not get any negative PR and there would be more interesting story to write.

I’m also surprise the homeless man who discovered the dead body of Jasmine Fiore in a Buena Park dumpster did not try to take her tits. Isn’t silicone recyclable? He could have made himself a couple of bucks. That’s what he was looking to get by going through garbage anyway – something to recycle. BTW, according to Alberta Justice, Ryan Jenkins was sentenced to 15 months of probation for assault in January 2007. Background checkers from Megan Wants a Millionaire definitely slacked out when they’ve let this star on their reality TV.

Next time you go to see a Philadelphia Eagles game (lol, who in their right state of mind would want to go to see a football game?), don’t be surprised if you see a dog wearing an official Michael Vick Dog Jersey. As it turns out, the NFL Shop sells customizable dog jerseys that you can have labeled with name and number of your “favorite” football player. As we all know, everyone’s favorite football player is Michael Vick. He’s a good kid, right? Michael Vick would never hurt a fly, never mind a dog.

If you head over to NFLShop.com by clicking on that link, you’ll be able to customize your own dog jersey and own this memorable piece of NFL history along with name of Michael Vick and #7 on it. Dress your pooch up in it and take him/her to a game. I’m sure ladies will be all over you. You can even save up if you order more than one Michael Vick Dog Jersey from said NFL Shop. Up to 20% savings if you buy 4 or more items. Wow!

I have the feeling that NFL Shop’s gonna experience increased sales of previously unknown proportions. Who wouldn’t want to dress up their dog in official NHL Michael Mick Dog Jersey? Four different sizes are available. Funny thing is – any attempts to customize your jersey with “Ron Mexico” or just “Mexico” fail. You can’t dress up your dog in a Ron Mexico jersey, but it’s OK to buy a Michael Vick one. Go figure.

Trophy wives are basically successful gold diggers. Though being a baseball player isn’t particularly a win so in case of Texas Rangers pitcher Kris Benson it’s hard to tell who’s actually scored. Anna Benson was voted the hottest baseball wife of 2009. Heidi DeRosa, who won the hottest baseball wife of 2008 and is the wife of St. Louis Cardinals infielder Mark DeRosa finished 4th, proceeded by Karen Burnett, wife of New York Yankees pitcher A.J. Burnett and Lisa Dergan, wife of Chicago White Sox outfielder Scott Podsednik.

Anna Benson has posed her naughty bits for several men’s magazines, including FHM (pic below), Playboy and Maxim but enough talk, let’s move on to gallery of pics with what baseball players like Kris Benson come home to after a game:

This is way too hilarious. Some funny Jew and an Obama Ass Kisser in one (tragic combination) was pouring his guts out on camera talking some mindless shit about how soldiers are taken care of in Israel and how they get top notch health care when Pamela Pilger shouted “Heil Hitler” out loud off camera. Jew Obama Worshipper got all pissy and yelled “Shame of you” at Pamela Pilger. Funniest scene I’ve seen since Breathalyzer Test Fail Video.

“You telling me, to a Jew, Heil Hitler? Shame of you!” That guy needs a role in a movie. He makes for a good drama queen. Otherwise makes no damn sense whatsoever. But funny as queef during anal sex. Video is below (shame of you):

Look at the face of a douche. Jasmine Fiore was found dead in a dumpster, stuffed inside a suitcase (must have been quite a job to fit those silicones in there) and Ryan Alexander Jenkins is a “person of interest”. Whether he’s a murderer we don’t know yet, but looking at the picture I can answer one thing for sure – yes, he’s a douche. You got to be a douchebag if you wear stupid pubestache like that.

Aside from being a potential murderer, garbage bin depositor and suitcase stuffer of Jasmine Fiore, Ryan Alexander Jenkins is also a reality TV contestant. That’s right, Ryan Alexander Jenkins got his douche ass on VH1’s Megan Wants A Millionaire. That means that he’s a millionaire, right? Well, he better be, cause if convicted of murder of Jasmine Fiore, he’s gonna need some change to buy Hubba’s favor which is the only way to get fucked with lube. Otherwise he’s gonna have to take Hubba’s dick up his dry ass.

I can hear you asking – aside from being a douche and a reality TV contestant, what else is this Ryan Alexander Jenkins? Well sadly – he’s a Canadian. And not only that. He’s Alberta, right from Calgary. If I looked outside the window, I might see him there. Why do people from my province have to be such amateur murderers? I thought after Jasmine Fiore’s dead body was discovered, that it’s gonna be one of those mindblowing criminal cases similar to Black Dahlia in which the murderer has never been found. That would immortalize Jasmine Fiore but now that there is a suspect basically right after her body was discovered, she’s got no chance of becoming as famous as Elizabeth Short. I’m sorry Jasmine Fiore, I tried finding something worthy of remembering about you, but Buena Park police spoiled it all. Skilled chaps, these are, I tell ya.

The police say that Jasmine Fiore was strangled to death. If Ryan Alexander Jenkins is in fact her murderer – I can’t help but wonder what would prompt a 32 year old real estate developer/investment banker (whatever title you give it, at the end of the day it equals “millionaire”) to kill young woman. Seemingly he had everything he wished for – a pubestache, an appearance on VH1, a bank account full of green stuff… why killing a blonde? WHat was missing in his life that he would wrap his douche hands around her neck and squeeze tight? This will be an interesting case to follow. Ryan Alexander Jenkins is probably somewhere in Venezuela or Thailand by now.

EDIT: latest news has it that Ryan Alexander Jenkins and Jasmine Fiore were married. TMZ was allegedly contacted by lawyers of Ryan Alexander Jenkins who said that their client will co-operate with the authorities. See? I told you he was a douche. Who else would marry Playboy representative with fake boobs? RIP Jasmine Fiore

This awful looking blond in the picture is Jasmine Fiore. 28 year old Jasmine Fiore is a bikini model and Playboy representative. Why am I not surprised that when I see a fake blonde with atrocious fake boobs and beastly make-up with chola eyebrows, it’s somehow associated with Playboy. Hugh Hefner has the worst taste in women and he imposes it on unsavvy men through his outdated magazine. Hef needs to realize that there’s only one creature worthy of coveted title “model” – Squirrel the Magnificent. Nobody can pose those moobs like he can, nevermind the best impersonation of Nosferatu since Max Schreck.

However, despite her horrendous looks, I’m not gonna focus on that too much as poor Jasmine Fiore may be going through some hardship. Lisa Lepore, mother of Jasmine Fiore reported to the police that her daughter was last seen on Friday, August 14, 2009 and has not been heard from since.

Jasmine Fiore, whose name was Jasmine Kinkaid until her recent move to Los Angeles, moved to California from Las Vegas to start a personal training business there. She lived in the 800 block of Edinburgh Avenue, close to Melrose Avenue and according to her mom, she was not planning to go anywhere. And then bam – missing. Lisa Lepore says it’s not typical of her daughter to vanish without saying where she’s going so she’s rightfully freaked out.

If you see said Jasmine Fiore, don’t freak out. Collect yourself and contact LAPD about her whereabouts. I know she may scare the living poop out of you, but she’s just a harmless blonde with nasty tits is all.

This Squirrel Vacation Picture is real – no photoshop there. The squirrel totally stole the scene for himself – no shame whatsoever. Melissa Brandts and her husband wanted to take a picture of themselves in the rugged wilderness of the beautiful Lake Minnewanka in the Banff National Park which is part of the Canadian Rockies, they put the camera on the rock, posed themselves up in front of it, pulled a happy smile when out of the effin blue a squirrel popped right in front of the camera and stole the shot. Total hotness in his eyes. The squirrel has natural modeling talent, he should be cast by Elite and pose for pictures in Tokyo, Milan and Paris. Send scouts to the Canadian Rockies. We have squirrels there that are naturally photogenic and are not afraid of cameras.

The squirrel vacation picture was submitted by Mrs. Melissa Brandts to the American National Geographics where it gains all kinds of applause. Canadian Squirrels for the win!