Beer Steak Bullshit

Newport Beach Fire, Orange County Fires, California Fires, Los Angeles Fires - Lots of Fire

Lots of fire everywhere:

Newport Beach Fire
Orange County Fires
California Fires
Los Angeles Fires

That’s all I hear about whole day while I was stuffing my face with turkey. Yes, it’s Thanksgiving here in Canada and down south they’re having a blaze.

Newport Beach Fire:
Californian Newport Beach had 100 acres burned by fire and some homes east of San Miguel Drive needed to be evacuated.

Orange County Fires:
Santa Ana winds developped and brought upon scorching fire raging through Orange County, California

California Fires:
Freaking California is on fire

Los Angeles Fires:
LA is on fire, I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. Turkey breasts mess with your head, I swear. I’m just gonna shut up now.

California Fire Image Credit: AP Photo/Dan Steinberg

Octopus - Intelligent and Flexible Animal

I didn’t have slightest idea that octopi (that’s the plural of octopus) are such intelligent and extremely flexible animals. In my next life I want to be an octopus. I mean I love cats, but seeing how insanely intelligent octopi are, and how incredibly they’re equipped with many slick arms and flexibility that would make a cat steam with envy - I want to be an octopus.

The video below is a document by scientists testing the intelligence of octopi. They’re literally running IQ tests on an octopus they have. And behold, each of the IQ tests has been passed with ease. Octopus is an extremely intelligent animal. And then when I saw insane flexibility an octopus sports - OMG, I want to be an octopus.

Octopi can grow into virtually unlimited size. There is no wonder sailors and pirates from the past had stories of Kraken and other crazy creatures of the sea. Single octopus with its intelligence and flexibility could own a ship with its crew easily. I’m in awe.

Octopus intelligence tests video below:

Michael Lockwood is married to Lisa Marie Presley though, so technically he has a contract allowing him to stick his penis into Elvis Presley’s daughter and unload his sperm onto her cervix. Excuse the Saturday afternoon visual. It’s the smell of turkey that get’s me all thinking of juicy Presley cervix. Yes, it’s the long weekend in Canada. We have our Thanksgiving in October.

So yeah, Michael Lockwood fucked Lisa Marie Presley, the sperm invaded her fertile egg and after 9 months, the twins were born. Actually, I’m not sure if she was pregnant for 9 months. Lisa Marie Presley gave birth to twin girls on October 7 via C-Section. That could mean the twins were premature and it could also mean fuck all.

Not many details were released and as you can see, even the news of twins being born reached the media with few days delay. It is not known which hospital she gave birth at, but some reports say it was at Los Robles Hospital and Medical Center in Thousand Oaks, California. Publicist did not release the names they gave to twin girls either.

Lisa Marie Presley is 40 year old and has 15-year-old son Ben and a19-year-old daughter Riley from her previous marriage to Danny Keough. Michael Lockwood is a 47-year-old music producer, songwriter and a guitarist.

Congratulations to Lisa Marie Presley and Michael Lockwood. Hope twin girls are doing good

This is precious - the best wedding video I’ve ever seen. The bride and groom (and best man) will have great memory to commemorate for the rest of their lives. The ultimate epic wedding fail is here. It really is a must see video, you’re gonna love that shit.

The fail is so epic, I’m having hard time trusting its authenticity, but if it’s real and really happened as we see, then damn… I’m gonna have to try really hard to outdo this shit when I get married. Just precious. Watch it!

Dana White on Kimbo Slice and EliteXC

Dana White, the president of UFC made a massive video rant on Kimbo Slice and his fight against Seth Petruzelli and EliteXC, guys who organized this fight. EliteXC are rivals of UFC so many are upset with Dana White’s rant and are calling on Gary Shaw (president of EliteXC) to sue his ass, but despite being a complete douchebag and moron most of the time, this time around I completely agree with Dana White and what he’s saying.

The rant was in response to Seth Petruzelli admitting that the EliteXC promoters offered him money, if he doesn’t take the fight to the ground. EliteXC wanted to keep the fight up, because they thought viewers would find it more exciting, in particular since Kimbo Slice is completely useless on the ground and would lose the fight.

However, Dana White says - Kimbo Slice sucks. He got knocked out in 14 seconds standing up. But the point Dana White is making is valid. What EliteXC did is illegal, and they ought to be investigated by the FBI. Many fans, casinos and betting agencies placed their bets on one of the fighters. By offering Seth Petruzelli the money, EliteXC tried to manipulate the result of the fight, virtually messing with other people’s investment.

Sports are dirty. Video of Dana White going off on EliteXC is below:

Austin Powers Star Joe Son Charged in Gang Rape

It’s a rape day over at Beer Steak Blog. First it’s Tenor Ernesto Tito Beltran and now even more recognizable celebrity - Joe Son, most famous for his role as Random Task in original Austin Powers movie. Joe Son was arrested in May for felony vandalism and this type of crime requires forking over a DNA sample. Investigators analyzed the DNA sample and voila - Joe Son took part in a gang rape dating back to 1990 that was unsolved for 18 years. Busted!

As results of his felony vandalism, Joe Son is now charged with much juicier crimes:

- five felony counts of rape
- two felony counts of forcible sodomy
- two felony counts of sodomy in concert by force
- seven felony counts of forcible oral copulation
- one felony count of sexual penetration by foreign object by force

Wow, so many people have good times and I’m never there when it happens. Each time I participated in gang rape… I’m the receiver. I’m kidding No, really

The woman from that 1990 gang rape was pistol-whipped, repeatedly raped, threatened with death, then blindfolded and left naked on her own naked.

If convicted of all charges, Joe Son will be facing 275 years to life in jail. Hope he still has the number on Dr. Evil so he can break his ass out of the chokey cause man is busted.

Joe Son, whose full name is Joseph Hyungmin Son is also known among MMA fans. During his UFC 4 fight against Keith Hackney in December 1994, he was repeatedly punched in the ball sack. Ref did not interrupt the fight because at the time it was not officially against the rules. Watch the fight in a video below:

Tenor Ernesto Tito Beltran Sentenced to Jail for Rape

Ernesto Tito Beltran, is a tenor from Chile who earned himself a little jail time for raping an 18 year old nanny and molesting a 7 year old. Tito was sentenced by Swedish court to two years and six months in prison. Swedish Bubba is looking forward to high pitch moaning…

Ernesto Tito Beltran will also end up paying damages to the girls - nanny’s gonna get $12,300 for getting raped and little girl is getting $15,600 for having been molested.

Even though originally from Chile, Ernesto Tito Beltran lives in Sweden and looks like rape is his favorite past time activity. In 1999 he was accused of raping a nanny of another Swedish celebrity.

Tito Beltran must be asking himself - what kind of country is Sweden? You can’t even rape a bitch without going to jail…

Below is a clip with Tito Beltran singing opera. Bitch can sing.

Tin Pan Alley, the block in New York where songs like God Bless America by Irving Berlin or Give My Regards to Broadway by George M. Cohan were written is up for sale.

Real Estate website is recommending tearing down old buildings in the area to make way for a modern high rise and mentions that five Tin Pan Alley four-storey brownstone buildings are for sale for $44 Million.

Tin Pan Alley was once home to songwriters and music publishers and is located on West 28th Street in New York. The name Tin Pan Alley itself is said to date back to 1885 and was popularized by piano playing song pluggers who walked up and down the street singing in order to promote the sales of sheet music.

When radios were invented, the music industry changed a lot, but Tin Pan Alley remained the place of music till 1950. Some recognizable American songwriters are closely associated with Tin Pan Alley having worked and written many of their songs on the street. We can mention Fats Waller, Cole Porter, Scott Joplin, Hoagy Carmichael and George Gershwin for instance.

Anarchist Emma Goldman started the magazine called Mother Earth out of one of Tin Pan Alley buildings, namely the one on 55 W. 28th St.

Many New Yorkers are unhappy with intentions to sell such an important part of New York history as Tin Pan Alley claiming that part of New York heritage would be lost.

Nikki Blonsky Says Bianca Golden is a Liar

…and the Nikki Blonsky vs Bianca Golden drama continues. It started as a catfight at Turks and Caicos airport, was followed by arrests and jailtime, Bianca Golden then referred to Nikki Blonsky as crotch kicker and Nikki Blonsky now calls Bianca Golden “a liar”. Are you still with me?

This whole situation’s been one big mess. You can’t even guess whom to believe anymore. Nikki Blonsky says Bianca Golden called her “white bitch” and punched her in the face. On the other hand, Nikki’s dad Carl Blonsky is charged for punching Bianca’s mother in the face. So many face punches. They should have ass fisted each other instead. BTW, it’s the accusations that Carl Blonsky punched Elaine Golden in the mug that had Nikki Blonsky calling Bianca Golden a liar. What a fucking mess this is!

Karissa and Kristina Shannon - Hugh Hefner's New Bitches

Hugh Hefner has always had awful taste for women, but his latest bitches - Karissa and Kristina Shannon are damn awful. Old man is losing his mind. They look even more plastic than Kendra Wilkinson. You’d think Hef would sober up, being 82 year old and would actually get himself a pretty ho. Plastic looking Barbie dolls were popular in the 60’s. Somebody should tell Hef that it’s already 2008.

Karissa and Kristina Shannon snuck into Hugh Hefner’s life after Holly Madison had announced that she’d left him. One bitch out, two bitches in. I strongly approve of the fact that Karissa and Kristina Shannon don’t have fake boobs, instead they have those nice, tiny perky boobies. Much better than those fake breasted whores surrounding Hef as of late.

Karissa and Kristina Shannon are twins and they’re 19 year old. It pays to be the owner of Playboy. Even as 82 year old, you get 19 year old chicks lining up to rub their vaginas against your old face. He even gets the twins. But I’m a firm believer that he still could do better. He’s the one and only Hugh Hefner. He’s got armies of hit chicks wanting to be his girlfriends. Why does he always pick up trash? Maybe it’s the creepy factor of having twin vaginas rubbing each side of your face at the same time. Karissa and Kristina Shannon have probably trained to move their hips unisono.