Beer Steak Bullshit

Scott Yanke was fired from his job as Fort Myers Beach town manager after councilors learned that he was married to a pornstar. Anabela Mota Janke whom Scott married last October is a seasoned vagina provider for adult movies and that’s bad in the books of small town Florida councilors. I’d fired his ass too. Imagine your name is Larry Kiker and you are a mayor of a small town in Florida. You have a collection of DVDs featuring Anabela Mota Janke and then you find out your dream girl got married to a guy you can have fired. You ain’t gonna put up with idea of a girl from your DVDs sucking on someone else’s cock in your backyard. If she’s not sucking on your manhood, at least get her husband fired, right?

Once the news was out, Fort Myers Beach town council met and voted 5-0 to get Scott Yanke fired “without cause”. Mayor Larry Kiker had this to say:

We did everything we could not to judge. It was not about him or her, it was about the town

You can tell Mayor Larry Kiker has seen every porn movie out there. Anabela Mota Janke is allegedly performing under a pornstar name Jazella Moore.

Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst decided to tie a knot and remove himself from the pool of available bachelors by marrying Esther Nazarov. Fred Burst used Twitter to express his true feelings in April of this year – yeah, people who use Twitter rock like that. He said Esther Nazarov is his true love and that he has never known true love until now and blah blah all that stuff that Twitter can be good for. To show he means business, Fred Durst also posted a picture of a wedding ring Esther Nazarov will have worn. Come today, Esther Nazarov and Fred Durst are a married couple. File Esther Nazarov under “another successful gold digger”.

Is it me or does Esther Nazarov really look like Miley Cyrus with those nasty upper gums? You know how unpleasing Miley Cyrus looks when she smiles and upper gums get exposed like she’s a fucking horse, right? Well, Esther Nazarov suffers from the same awfulness. Maybe women who have big upper gums give good head. I wouldn’t know, I only do anal (yeah, I wish). If she makes Freddie happy, then good luck to them. Couple that licks upper gums together, stays together.

After the wedding that went down in Las Vegas, Fred Durst resorted to Tweeting again: “Cheers to the universe from me and my lovely wife Esther Durst!! We are now one and complete. )” I wonder if he tweeted about the wedding night blowjob. Imagine that: “Dude, Esther is totally licking my ballsack. That’s so awesome. WTF woman, pull that shit out of my ass you bitch. Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. more pee please!”

Let’s hope this marriage doesn’t end up in pooper like his first one.

Joe Jackson will take any opportunity to pimp out his promotion company and the fact that they will be releasing Blue Ray discs. Death of his son attracted lots of media attention which in his mind needs to be taken advantage of and help his business activities. Last night Joe Jackson was on Larry King and was asked what the deal was with Michael Jackson saying that he was physically and emotionally abused and Joe Jackson twisted it right around and pointed out at beating of slaves. It was like listening to Reverend Al Sharpton all over again.

It’s really hard to decide who a bigger douchbag is – Joe Jackson or Larry King. I’m not a fan of Larry King so I’m kind of glad he was shut down with: “Listen now, you got to understand me. Don’t cut me off, Larry!” but the thing is, Joe Jackson needs to be told the same thing cause every spawn he lets out of his mouth is filthier than money donated for Barack Obama’s presidential campaign.

I know, I know. Rickroll is so 2008, but it ain’t over for Rick Astley yet. How about Never Gonna Give You Up to the music of Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana? When it comes to “some people on the internet having too much time on their hands” – you know that whoever came with an idea of mixing Rickroll with Nirvana has plenty of it. Go ahead, play the video and get Rickrolled by Nirvana. Now I can say I’ve seen it all!

Marius Zaromskis was a complete underdog at the Welterweight Grand Prix Dream 10 MMA Championship in the Saitama Super Arena in Japan this Monday. All bets were on his opponents yet he sent them both to the land of always growing daisies for the night. After Marius Zaromskis knocked out Hayato Sakurai in the semifinals fight of the Dream 10 welterweight Grand Prix by a vicious kick to the head, he was lined up to fight Jason High in the finals.

Prior to the Marius Zaromskis vs Hayato Sakurai fight, experts were saying that Japanese organizers let Hayato Sakurai fight Marius Zaromskis because they wanted to see a Japanese fighter advance to the finals and it was generally believed that Marius Zaromskis could never measure up to Hayato Sakurai. They were wrong. One kick to the head sent Hayato Sakurai down to the ground and referee atop of Marius Zaromskis to stop him from annihilating his opponent who looked like he didn’t know where the eff he was. Since ref interrupted the beat down, this win counted as TKO for Marius Zaromskis.

But that was just the beginning. The best was yet to come a few hours later when Marius Zaromskis entered the ring to fight Jason High for welterweight belt. 2:21 into round two, Marius Zaromskis delivered brutal kick to the head of Jason High followed by a devastating punch knocking Jason High the eff out of this world for a good while. Jason High was frolicking with daisies in the land far far away while Marius Zaromskis was celebrating victory. Mixed Martial Arts fans all over the world were shocked and Marius Zaromskis carved his name deeply into the annals of the MMA. Video of his fight against Jason High with brutal knock out is below. Great fight for any fan of mixed martial arts:

Two people were killed when a stage they were setting up for Madonna’s concert in Marseille, France collapsed. Authorities say that the stage was 2/3 set up when it came crushing down. About 50 people were involved in the stage set up process out of which about a dozen were underneath the stage when it collapsed. Four cranes were lifting up the roof when it slipped off balance and toppled one of the cranes sending it down along with the roof on the people below.

Madonna played that Marseille concert and paused to pay tribute to two men who were killed when stage collapsed. Being a professional stage performer, she burst into tears and sobbed her words out. Marseille audience either did not quite understand what she was saying or took her cries as staged, opportunistic performance which it at the end of the day actually was.

Photo: AP

Lesley Visser has been voted the #1 US female sportcaster. The photo above is of Lesley Visser – that’s what top felame sportcaster in the US looks like. Not bad, eh? Now take a look at Federica Fontana – The Italian SportsCaster. People who voted for Lesley Visser are probably the same people who voted for Angelina Jolie as the sexiest female actor. Ewww!

In all fairness to Lesley Visser – it’s hard to compare any female to Federica Fontana so it’s all good. Given that she’s 56 year old – she looks pretty fine for her age. Doing sportscasts for CBS, Lesley Visser beat 36 finalists to become the No 1 voted female sportscaster in the US, followed by Andrea Kremer of NBC, Robin Roberts of ABC and ESPN, Michele Tafoya of ESPN and Hannah Storm of ESPN. Gratz

Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are currently together filming “The Bounty” – a movie in which they both co-star. They seem to be very passionate when they’re filming kissing or otherwise heated scenes, but somehow they continue in cuddling fashion even after cameras are no longer rolling. They are totally bumping it. When noone’s watching, Jennifer Aniston pulls down her shorts, rolls the panties to a side to expose her holiest of holies to Gerard Butler’s hunk of a supercharged penis. Everyone says it, I’ll say it too: “Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are totally bumping it together!”

The Bounty is a romantic comedy about Casidy and Milo, an estranged couple where Milo is a bounty hunter who’s on a mission to hunt for his ex-wife Casidy. The production crew behind The Bounty say that Jennifer Aniston takes every chance to practice kissing with Gerard Butler behind the scenes and has been overheard to say that he’s a great kisser.

Nothing’s been officially confirmed, but guesses are that Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are an item. Gerard has allegedly been blown away by Jen ever since he met her at the Toronto International Film Festival last year and wanted to do that dating thing. Jen kept rejecting him until they both got hired to star in the same movie and the spark lit Jen’s fire too. If she was keeping her thighs tight for Gerard before, now she’s looking to spread them wide open.

Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler photo by BigPicturesPhoto.com

Introducing Jay Barrymore – the luckiest bastard in all the world who gets to taste sweet vaginal juices of the single hottest girl in the world. Emma Watson is an incredible cutie and given that she’s no little Hermione Granger no more, but rather a grown up and legal young woman. Jay Barrymore has no idea what he’s getting. A single blowjob from Emma Watson and I can die a happy man. They’d have to drag me away with a bulldozer if I were to suck on her sweet… enough!

So Jay Barrymore is Emma Watson’s boyfriend and they’re moving in together. Let the orgies begin. Emma Watson owns a £3million house in London, UK so that’s got to be sweet. All is not lost though. When she was chatting on David Letterman, Emma Watson mentioned she was moving to the USA to go to the university. Maybe that’ll destroy her relationship with Jay Barrymore and since she’ll be much closer to me, I could get my shot and embracing the heavenly beast.

British Daily Mail reported that Emma Watson once said she would not go out with anyone famous. That’s great news for me. I’m only famous for being the worst blogger in the world. So far that gets me fanmail, but doesn’t get me laid. Maybe all I need is one British chick moving to the hood. Jay Barrymore ain’t famous either. He’s a financier and is 27 year old. If 27 year old average looking financier could make his way in Emma Watson’s pants, why would 34 year old below average looking piece of shit blogger not make it. I’m ready, Emma. Bring it on. But leave Jay Barrymore at home. He can do my finances in the meantime.

File Sibylle Szaggars under “gold digger” as the latest big success. 51 year old Sibylle Szaggars scored herself a big fish after she married 71 year old Robert Redford. The wedding ceremony took place in Louis C. Jacob Hotel in Germany’s Hamburg last weekend and presided by Pastor Frank Engelbrecht. The wedding ceremony was attended by only 30 people – closest family and friends. Check out the photo above, though. Both Robert Redford and Sibylle Szaggars look amazing for their age. Plastic surgery and human growth hormone make wonders.

Sibylle Szaggars is a German lass and apparently a pretty decent abstract artist. Her art has been exhibited at some famous galleries not only in home country of Germany, but also in the UK and the USA. She met with Robert Redford in Sundance, Utah. I don’t think Robert Redford needs to be introduced to many people, unless you’re really young. His bio will be particularly well known to females who are currently at a “cougar” age.

This was the second wedding for Robert Redford and fact is that he’s been dating Sibylle Szaggars for quite some time. His first marriage to Lola Redford lasted for 30 years and resulted in 4 offsprings. Not too bad for a A-List (albeit currently former) Hollywood movie star.

Reports have it that both Robert Redford and Sibylle Szaggars are looking forward to a second run at the wedding ceremony which they’re gonna have in Mexico. Mexico? What are they crazy? That’s where Swine Flu came from and that’s still where most ruthless drug wars in the world take place. Guy crazy!