Today is the First Day of Summer and I could not be more depressed. The summer is here and I haven’t done anything, haven’t seen anything, haven’t been anywhere, haven’t fucked anyone… wait. That donkey sex doesn’t count, I was the reciever… all right?
First Day of Summer typically makes everyone happier than on any other day of the year. It’s true. According to one of those studies they conduct all the time, more people are happy on the first day of summer than any other day making me the most miserable person in the world. Why do I have to be grumpy when everyone around me is happy? Oh, damn. That’s probably why. Happy people piss me the fuck off. Can’t stand that shit.
The first day of summer is also the longest day of the year. Fucking great. Not only am I miserable, I also know it’s gonna last longer than normal. Screw that shit, I’m gonna watch granny porn.
OK, now I’m pissed. Why doesn’t shit like that every happen in my neighborhood. I’d mass assist any number of teens in getting them pregnant just because they want to rebel. Hell, I’ve got enough anxious sperm in my testicules to impregnate one hot chick every hour. Just bring them on. Actually, I think I should move to Gloucester, Massachusetts at least while the pregnancy pact lasts. I could just stick around Gloucester High School, look inconspicuous and offer subconscious nudges to by passing teens eager to get themselves pregnant. Now here’s the tip… Would be nice to get sex with a person at last!
Here’s what’s going on. Officials from the town of Gloucester, Massachusetts believe that the reason behind abnormally increased occurrences of teen pregnancies is a Pregnancy Pact. They believe that those dumb sluts who got knocked up are actually smart enough to form a Pregnancy Pact which would be exactly what t sounds like – they would all have a goal of getting themselves pregnant. Do you think teen chicks have enough brain cells to come with an idea of a pregnancy pact all by themselves or was there a “can’t get sex with a real girl, so let me cheat my way into someone’s vagina” pact founded by some losers like me who couldn’t get pussy so they fix themselves up with brainless (likely fake blond) chicks form Gloucester High School? I wish i were smart enough to start my pack that knocks chicks up. Wait a second….
Don’t mess with the ants. I mean, seriously, they are crazy. Look at this insane time lapse video of dead gecko getting swarmed by the ants, eaten to the last cell of flesh and then getting completely taken apart, bone after bone and carried away. Insanity. If ants got pissed off with everybody, they could sort us out like we wouldn’t believe.
This gets me thinking – if you exhume a person that’s been buried for some time and you find nothing in the coffin – look at the closest anthill. You may find the collection of bones in their kingdom.
Bailey DeLuca – baby of Scott Baio and Renee Sloan was diagnosed with GA-1 shortly after her birth in November of last year. Bailey DeLuca was born prematurely and GA1, a metabolic disorder that can potentially cause death was a source of horror and nightmares for Scott Baio and Renee Sloan. Further testing now returned negative results, probing the horror as false. Bailey DeLuca does not suffer form GA1, reports People’s Celebrity Baby Blog.
Scott Baio says this was the worst time of his life. But after 10 weeks of testing, the GA1 positive results proved to have been false and Scott Baio Baby Horror is done with. We wish the family only goodest of times ahead 
What a cute chick she was when she was in Junior High. DListed posted a vintage yearbook picture of Playboy Playmate Shauna Sand from Muirlands Junior High School in La Jolla, California. She was a cute chick back then, now she’s a plastic, anorexic fake blond with gross fake boobs. BTW, if you in dire need of vomiting, check out nip slip and pussy flas pics of Shauna Sand which look as though her nipple was going to fall off. Pretty gross. The link is NSFW, though.
Compare the shit for yourself:
above – Shauna Sand Yearbook Pic from Muirlands Junior High School in La Jolla
below – Shauna Sand today as plastic fake blonde looking ho always wearing stripper high heels with see through platforms.
Young Buck was kicked out of G-Unit and went crying to 50 Cent on the phone and 50 Cent showed some class and…. released the audio. Priceless.
So Young Buck calls up 50 Cent and cries his ass off telling him about problems with IRS and how confused he feels and begged to get his “job” with G-Unit back. It’s not certain when this “cry me a river” phone conversation took place, but it could have been before Young Buck flipped and yelled “Fuck G-Unit”.
I think 50 Cent is after Young Buck’s ass and when 50 Cent gets after someone’s ass… Well, remember how it went for Ya Rule?
The video of Young Buck’s Crying extravaganza audio is above.
That’s it then. Here’s the proof that Lakers Suck. All right, it’s the proof that sucks. Congrats to Celtics for beating Los Angeles Lakers 131-92 at tonight’s game and becoming NBA champions for the 17th time. To commemorate the win, Celtic fans are already selling t-shirts that read “Lakers Suck” on Ebay. How about that for business?
The city of Boston already has plans for major parade ready to celebrate the title won by their home team – Boston Celtics. Chant with me – Lakers Suck, Lakers Suck…..
I’m impressed. This is a time lapse video of some artist speed painting Jack Sparrow of Pirates of the Caribbean and wow. Whoever did this has got some mad skills. Though I can’t help but ask – why would he/she paint the whole skull at the beginning? It’s not like this was 3D modeling? This was a regular standard 2D speed painting. The drawing of Jack Sparrow’s skull, regardless of how bad ass it was, seems a bit pointless. But then again – what do I know. I am nothing compared to this artist. Damn impressive.
According to the caption at the beginning of the video, the artist used Adobe Photoshop CS3 to paint this Jack Sparrow. 3 hours and the pirate was done. You can see it all in mere 4:20 (how awesome, eh?). Pull that hookah and have a puff while you’re watching this. You won’t understand where the fuck you’re at.
Daughters of Bilitis founders Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin got married yesterday and made it officially the first gay marriage in California. After living together for 55 years, 84 year old Phyllis Lyon and 87 year old Del Martin tied the knot in San Francisco’s City Hall at 5.01pm. Congrats to the old ladies.
Below is the video of newly married Daughters of Bilitis cutting a wedding cake.
The production on Angels & Demons, the latest thriller by Dan Brown and a sequel that’s actually a prequel to The Da Vinci Code only started on June 5th, 2008 and Vatican has had itself heard and banned the movie. The filmmakers of Angels & Demons requested to have some of crucial sequences filmed directly in Vatican’s the churches of Santa Maria della Vittoria and Santa Maria del Popolo but their long awaited request was turned down and the movie forbidden. What’s pope afraid of?
Variety says that the reason for banning Angels & Demons is that the “sequel is incompatible with religious sentiment”.
Just as it was with the Da Vinci Code, Angels & Demons is directed by Ron Howard and stars Tom Hanks. Dan Brown published Angels & Demons before The Da Vinci Code and while the Code suggests that Mary Magdalena and Jesus Christ were married and had children, Angels & Demons focuses on The Illuminati – sinister elite of the world and their effort to take over Vatican.
