Beer Steak Bullshit » Chicago

Rooney Mara as Nancy Thompson in the Nightmare on Elm Street Remake

Happy — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 15:50:31 +0000

Rooney Mara is a virtually unknown actress. In few years of her acting careers she’s been in a couple of TV series (Law & Order, Women’s Murder Club) and some movies you haven’t seen (Dream Boy, Urban Legends: Bloody Mary). According to reports from Bloody-Disgusting, Rooney Mara is in final negotiations to play Nancy Thompson character in the upcoming remake of famous horror film Nightmare on Elm Street. That’s a big break point in her career – scoring a role in Nightmare on Elm Street remake will move Rooney Mara from D List to…. well, B List. It’s an upgrade never the less.

The remake of Nightmare on Elm Street is rumored to have a brand new scripts that doesn’t follow old one too closely. Obviously, list of characters remains (so far) unchanged, even though to meet 21st century standards, Nancy Thompson will be an anti-social goth chick – yumm. Basic story line of a child molester who gets burned to death by a mob of pissed of parents and then returns to turn life of a girl who ratted him out to hell would likely remain unchanged in the remake.

The role of Freddy Krueger has been entrusted to Jackie Earle Haley. Other confirmed cast of the Nightmare on Elm Street remake include Thomas Dekker and Kyle Gallner. The release date has been set to April 16, 2010. Production begins in May this year in Chicago. The movie will be directed by Samuel Bayer.

the Nightmare on Elm Street collage photo with Freddy Krueger, Heather Langenkamp as Nancy Thompson and Rooney Mara source: /film

Barack the Barbarian Comic Book Cartoons – Check Them Out

Happy — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:02:29 +0000

Meet Barack the Barbarian, merciless, topless, axe wielding predator who’s on a mission to square up with The Screeching Enchantress Sarah the Palin. The not-so-politically-incorrect comic book series Barack the Barbarian will be published this year in June. According to British Daily Mail, there will be two comic books in the Barack the Barbarian series:

The Righteous Retribution of Barack the Barbarian pictures US president Barack Obama in a fight with sword wielding, black latex bikini clad screeching enchantress who makes my happy in my pants. The long haired blonde with her hot mouth open to take on foreign objects has body of a goddess, strength of a gazelle and attitude of Xena the Warrior Princess. I’m not even sure why Barack the Barbarian would want to kill the hotness like that. Perhaps he’s a necrophiliac and liked to do them dead. Which is understandable, cause when she’s dead, she ain’t gonna tell you off when you shove your dick up her ass.

Barack the Barbarian: Quest for the Treasure of Stimuli shows super muscular Barack Obama presiding over Kickassistan with some ugly, probably HIV infected ho with Botox stuffed lips and fat ass clinging onto his leg. In this comic book, Barack the Barbarian takes on his nemesis Sarah the Palin who wears her signature librarian glasses, wearing wolf skin bikini and a cape.

Barack the Barbarian comic book series will be published by Devil’s Due – Chicago based comic book and cartoon publisher. Smart move on their behalf – smart business move I should say. Anything that involves controversy will get people talking and the more people talk, the more money in their pocket. Free advertising, ya know. And judging by the cartoons released so far, they are looking to picture the characters as naked as it goes, without making them naked. Hence no one will be able to label their cartoons a pornography, yet it will be revealing enough for any loser geek from the basement to rub one off to it.

According to the press release, Devil’s Due Barack the Barbarian comic books will also feature other political figures, including former US president George Bush (Overlord Boosh) and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (Sorceress Hilaria), Dick Cheney (Chainknee of the Elephant Kingdom), John McCain, Rod Blagojevich, Nancy Pelosi, and others.

Check out the gallery with Barack the Barbarian cartoons below:

Is Joanna Krupa the Sexiest Swimsuit Model in the World? (pics)

Happy — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 00:52:13 +0000

On its way of going down and down and down, Playboy continues with its endless charade of fail. Naming Joanna Krupa the sexiest swimsuit model in the world is Playboy’s latest showcase of how irrelevant and ridiculous this magazine is. I mean look at her – Joanna Krupa has got fake tits. The moment there are fake tits involved is the moment word sexy leaves the play and becomes completely irrelevant. Playboy has been irrelevant with the focus on fake breasted women for decades. It’s about time the operation of the irrelevant publication reached the end. And from sales of the magazin it seems like that day is not too far.

Joanna Krupa Bio

Joanna Krupa was born in Poland and just as 80% of poles, her parents moved out of there and settled abroad. This time in Chicago where Polish population is through the roof. According to interview with Fox New, Joanna Krupa has no issues posing topless or naked and tells other models that worrying about posing for the camera without clothes is ridiculous. Joanna Krupa said she took inspiration from quote of Pope John Paul II who said that people are born named, so showing naked bodies means showing works of God.

Aside from Playboy, Joanna Krupa also posed for other magazines for men, including Stuff, FHM, Inside Sport, Personal, Maxim,S teppin’ Out, and Teeze.

Below is the gallery of photos with Joanna Krupa. Take a look and tell if you really think this woman is the sexiest swimsuit model in the world as Playboy claims. No way, says me!

Crystal McCahill Mugshot Photo – Playboy Miss May 2009 Arrested for DUI

Happy — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 15:29:29 +0000

I’m filing this under “Celebrities” even though Crystal McCahill really isn’t one. At least not yet, unless we count her appearance on The Girls Next Door. This could quickly change as Crystal McCahill is scheduled to appears in May issue of Playboy Magazine (Playboy still exists? You mean it’s 2009 and people would still pay for photos of overphotoshoped women with undeveloped labia and fake tits?) as Playboy’s Miss May 2009. But before the centerfold, Crystal McCahill unvolunterily introduces a different kind of photos of herself – mugshots. She was caught driving under influence on January 7, 2009 and must appear before a Cook County judge on March 19. Hmmm, who would have thought Playboy bunnies could drive. Perhaps DUI is how they do that…

Crystal McCahill was arrested for DUI after she drove through red light in Chicago. 25 year old future Playboy Miss told the police she only had three shots at Climax, a nightclub where she works (why does it not surprise me that aspiring Playboy model would start her career working at a nightclub?). The police smelled strong reek of alcohol coming from her mouth and her eyes were blood shot. Crystal McCahill blew a load from her lungs into an alcohol detector which shower her alcohol levels were twice the legal limit. Busted. Nice mugshot photo, BTW Miss Crystal McCahill.

Michael Crichton, Creator of Jurassic Park Dies of Cancer

Happy — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:41:48 +0000

Sad news! Michael Crichton, creator of Jurassic Park and author of line of great thrillers that include The Andromeda Strain, Disclosure, Sphere and Congo died unexpectedly of cancer today in Los Angeles. The representative for Michael Crichton only said that his death came after a “courageous and private battle against cancer”.

Michael Crichton was born October 23, 1942 in Chicago. He wrote his first novel – The Andromeda Strain – while attending Harvard Medical School and it became the best seller immediately. More than dozen of movies were based on his books.

Michael Crichton won an Emmy award in 1996 for “ER” that he executively produced. He’s survived by a daughter and his wife. RIP Michael Crichton

Sarah Palin Naked – Painting by Bruce Elliott

Happy — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:03:37 +0000

Alaska Governor and Republican VP Sarah Palin has been subjected to any form of praise and mockery available to the man and now we have her naked. Bruce Elliott, owner of Old Town Ale House on the north side of Chicago oil-painted a four foot tall painting of Sarah Palin naked.

The painting portrays Sarah Palin naked standing on a polar bear skin inside a room, sporting an automatic rifle while still wearing her signature eye glasses and red high heels. Otherwise naked. Behind her is a large window overlooking snowy, mountainous terrain, similar to that found in Alaska. You can even see a moose outside the window.

Old Town Ale House is a bar that features about 200 paintings of bar regulars or Chicago locals often in sexually charged positions. To fit with the rest of the paintings, Sarah Palin was also depicted naked. The popularity of her painting grew very quickly and gets constantly photographed by bar goers, says co-owner Bruce Elliott, who painted all other pictures.

Bruce Elliott used his daughter, who works in the bar to pose as Sarah Palin. He says she’s a great impersonator of Alaska governor and can even pull her voice. Some people may find this shocking, but when Bruce Elliott was painting his daughter, she was posing for him naked. So the hot body of Sarah Palin in that painting is actually the body of Bruce Elliott’s daughter, a girl who works behind the bar. She says her father changed her diapers when she was little…

Beer Steak Bullshit » Chicago

Rooney Mara as Nancy Thompson in the Nightmare on Elm Street Remake

Further Reading:

Barack the Barbarian Comic Book Cartoons – Check Them Out

Further Reading:

Is Joanna Krupa the Sexiest Swimsuit Model in the World? (pics)

Joanna Krupa Bio

Further Reading:

Crystal McCahill Mugshot Photo – Playboy Miss May 2009 Arrested for DUI

Further Reading:

Michael Crichton, Creator of Jurassic Park Dies of Cancer

Further Reading:

Sarah Palin Naked – Painting by Bruce Elliott

Further Reading: