Weight loss has become an unexpected hot topic now with all those new breakthroughs that we the innocent obese people with no lives have to listen to. As if magical African Mango Extract was not enough, now we have a celebrity publically displaying significant weight loss. Valerie Bertinelli is best known for being Barbara Cooper Royer, the daughter of Bonnie Franklin in One Day at a Time TV series. 48 year old Valerie Bertinelli, who’s always been overweight posed for the cover of People Magazine and damn… she’s no overweight woman no more. She’s a sexy looking, lean cougar. What happened? What’s the Valerie Bertinelli Weight Loss Secret?
The career of Valerie Bertinelli took off when she was a young girl. It started with being Barbara Cooper and continued with being becoming a wife of Eddie Van Halen, who was at the time the biggest rock star ever. Wild lifestyle with bad drinking and eating habits put some pounds on her. Fast forward few decade later – Valerie Bertinelli sees herself as overweight and self conscious because of it. She joins the Jenny Craig weight loss program, sheds 20 pounds and writes the book about her weight loss success titled “Losing It: And Gaining My Life Back One Pound at a Time.”
Now there is no secret – if you were hoping to find a get-slim-fast formula here, I will let you down. Get-slim-fast schemes are the same as get-rich-fast schemes. Only the person who sells the schemes benefits. Others never see results and all they got was monetary loss (as you have to spend money to join the scheme). If I were you, I’d say – eff it! Don’t buy no book, don’t join no program. Yes, Valerie Bertinelli lost some nice weight, but hell – don’t think the same is gonna happen to you if you buy her book or join her program (or a program she’s associated with). It all screams all forms of weird at me. There are too many names and items that cost money attached to the Valerie Bertinelli weight loss secret. Surely she did something right and did lose a lot of weight, but I find it ridiculous how everybody jumped on a bandwagon and is looking to monetize on it. This part I don’t like.
Forget about Valerie Bertinelli weight loss secret. Listen to Mark’s weight loss secret – quit eating fast food junk, you fat bastard. Buy as much organic as you can. 100% organic is the preference, but there aren’t many such out there. You got to get rid of addiction that preservative in conventional foods keep you stuck at. Get yourself a pedal bike and ride to work, instead of driving your ugly, penis-enhancing truck. It helps the environment anyway. And then when you stop being an ugly fat bastard, you can write your own book and you monetize on it. Don’t be a tool and make someone else rich by buying the dream they are selling. The dream is a dream is a dream. There are no magic formulas. But there are wise lifestyle choices. They will need help, but you can find it in health food and organic produce stores. See you when you’re lean. And don’t forget to eat lots of organic mango from Africa. I’m sure that stuff has some beneficial, weight loss promoting properties. You’ll feel much better about it than by following some questionable Valerie Bertinelli weight loss secret.
Legendary guitarist (BTW, who decides which guitarist becomes “legendary”) Eddie Van Halen is taking his relationship with Janie Liszewski seriously. Eddie Van Halen and Janie Liszewski got engaged in October last year and by now they already have a wedding day set up. The plans are for this Summer, likely in June but I don’t know exact date yet. Janie Liszewski has been Eddie’s publicist, a girlfriend and a manager of Van Halen for a while.
In a recent interview with The Rolling Stones, Eddie Van Halen revealed his intentions to record first Van Halen’s album with David Lee Roth in 25 years and first Van Halen album in general in over a decade. It’s surprising, but despite their grandpa type of age, Van Halen still kicks it and makes crap loads of money playing music. Damn…
With all that commotion happening around him, Eddie Van Halen also introduced a new guitar to the world of six strings – The Fender Wolfgang Guitar. Eddie has a son whom he named Wolfgang now plays base guitar with Van Halen. Wolfgang is also a name of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – arguably the best music composer of all time. The Fender Wolfgang Guitar, as one of Eddie Van Halen collection guitar has been available for sale since mid January 2009. The Fender Wolfgang Guitar comes in three colors – tobacco burst (pictures above), vintage white and black and costs around $3000. You can find out more about it on EVH Gear Site
Video of Eddie Van Halen introducing and playing The Fender Wolfgang Guitar with Guitar World Magazine is below:
Eddie Van Halen, 53 year old guitarist of legendary Van Halen is got engaged to Janie Liszewski, Van Halen manager and Eddie’s publicist and girlfriend.
Eddie Van Halen proposed to Janie Liszewski back in August in Hawaii and guess what – the bitch said “Yes”. It’s now official – the two are engaged? Insiders say Eddie kneeled before her to propose and bitch accepted on the spot.
Is this really how engagement works? You take a bitch to Hawaii and tell her you want to tie a penis knot with her clitoris and voila – away you go? Is that how it works with engagements? I’ve never been engaged, I have no fucking clue how it works. What I know, is that the next thing you do is diamond ring shopping, cause that’s how it’s done when you get engaged and then you get married and have post marital sex, like every good Christian. Then you make lots of babies, go to church every Sunday and out for a few with your buddies once a week – life is good.
Eddie Van Halen is no newb to getting engaged. Before Janie Liszewski, he was married to Valerie Bertinelli for 16 years. He’s got a son with Wolfgang her. 16 years – that’s a long ass time to remain married. And who the hell names their son Wolfgang?
Janie Liszewski is a 38 year old ho who’s never been married before. Talk about determined gold digger. She saved her virginity to score a big one.
Janie Liszewski and Eddie Van Halen are scheduling the wedding for June of 2009.
Oh, Van Halen still make shit loads of money – BTW. They are in top 10 richest rockers of 2008, according to Forbes. Janie Liszewski scored herself a gold mine.
