The relationship between Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore started by bumping each other’s naked genitals and the two have now decided to move it to the whole new level. No, I’m not talking about anal sex. Singer Ryan Adams and his girlfriend, singer and actress Mandy Moore got engaged. Boring…
The news of engagement (that could be the title of the movie) was confirmed by couple’s publicist Jillian Fowkes. Awesome, celebrities have publicists to inform general public of their bullshit. Why don’t publicists step up and tell us how far Mandy Moore can deepthroat.
Mandy Moore was previously bumping genitals with DJ AM. That part of her sexual experience was over, but it seemed as though she was getting back to him after that unfortunate plane crash situation with Travis Barker. As we can see, there was no fire out of that spark. Instead her vaginal magnet got a attracted to the magnetism of Ryan Adams’ penis. The magnetic force of his mighty stick kept dragging Mandy Moore’s vagina close and closer until that think wrapped itself closely around man’s mighty shaft. And today the magnetic field prevailed and the couple is engaged.
Seriously, do you think Ryan Adams shaves his pubes? He strikes me like the kind of guy who waxes his genitals. Mandy Moore on the other hand surely grows nice patch of hair between her legs.
Mandy Moore is releasing new CD in May called Amanda Leigh. Ryan Adams is being more romantic and is looking to leave The Cardinals to focus entirely on poem writing. His first book bearing the title Infinity Blues will be released soon.
Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams photo credit: WENN
Eddie Van Halen, 53 year old guitarist of legendary Van Halen is got engaged to Janie Liszewski, Van Halen manager and Eddie’s publicist and girlfriend.
Eddie Van Halen proposed to Janie Liszewski back in August in Hawaii and guess what – the bitch said “Yes”. It’s now official – the two are engaged? Insiders say Eddie kneeled before her to propose and bitch accepted on the spot.
Is this really how engagement works? You take a bitch to Hawaii and tell her you want to tie a penis knot with her clitoris and voila – away you go? Is that how it works with engagements? I’ve never been engaged, I have no fucking clue how it works. What I know, is that the next thing you do is diamond ring shopping, cause that’s how it’s done when you get engaged and then you get married and have post marital sex, like every good Christian. Then you make lots of babies, go to church every Sunday and out for a few with your buddies once a week – life is good.
Eddie Van Halen is no newb to getting engaged. Before Janie Liszewski, he was married to Valerie Bertinelli for 16 years. He’s got a son with Wolfgang her. 16 years – that’s a long ass time to remain married. And who the hell names their son Wolfgang?
Janie Liszewski is a 38 year old ho who’s never been married before. Talk about determined gold digger. She saved her virginity to score a big one.
Janie Liszewski and Eddie Van Halen are scheduling the wedding for June of 2009.
Oh, Van Halen still make shit loads of money – BTW. They are in top 10 richest rockers of 2008, according to Forbes. Janie Liszewski scored herself a gold mine.
