Beer Steak Bullshit » Fail

Ban Female Drivers!

Happy — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 07:11:30 +0000

Laws exist to ensure public safety. How is it possible that there is no law banning females from driving is beyond me. Each woman behind a wheel of an automobile is a deadly weapon and a danger to public safety. No matter how politically correct you choose to be, women can NOT drive. Period. This should not be discussed any further. It’s an undisputed fact and action should be taken to prevent further damage to lives and property. Ban Female Drivers NOW!

The video above hit the internet several days ago. I was the only one who immediately identified the driver as a female when the video was posted on AlbertaStars.com. It was a no brainer – it takes a woman to deliver parking fail of such epic proportions and then casually drive away like nothing happened. I’ve been saying it all along, now it’s time to take action: Ban Female Drivers. For the sake of public safety, act not and ban female drivers immediately.

The woman who has no business driving in this video is Tripta Kaushal. 62 year old worthless driver (just as all women are) wanted to go to Extreme Fitness club in Thornhill, Ontario, Canada to get some fitness in her useless body but changed her mind after this epic parking fail. Instead of getting some fitness going, Tripta Kaushal casually reversed her BMW X5 and drove off like nothing happened.

What stupid wench did not realize (woman), is that her epic driving capabilities were recorded on club’s surveillance camera and posted on the internet. From there it was a mere question of time before the video took off and went viral. It takes a woman to deliver this shit.

One of the cars Tripta Kaushal destroyed was a 2004 Hyunday Elantra which belonged to Todd Jamison, system administrator at Extreme Fitness. He was obviously not happy seeing his piece of crap Hyunday destroyed, consulted the surveillance tapes and contacted the police. Through video enhancements, the police were able to get the license plate number of the SUV that destroyed Elantra and traced down the female driver – Tripta Kaushal.

Tripta Kaushal was charged with failing to remain at the scene of an accident and Todd Jamison… he was offered a brand new, 2010 Hyunday Elantra as a random act of kindness by Hyunday Canada. The best PR Hyunday could ever do for themselves. Congrats. Now if they only could lobby for banning of female drivers. We need to get the likes of Tripta Kaushal off Canadian roads.

iDon’t Care Response to Droid Does by Loser Apple Fanboys

Happy — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 09:01:19 +0000

Just when you thought loser Apple fanboys couldn’t get any more moronic, they’ve managed to outdo themselves. Again! As failed response to complete pwnage of iPhones by Droid Does, small dick losers also known as desperate owners of Apple products pulled a miserable attempt at letting everyone know that even though they are stuck with biggest piece of shit made by failed company, they are gonna keep shoving it up their lose anal cavity cause once a fanboy, always a loser.

The biggest FAIL of the iDon’t Care failure is the part where it says “iDon’t buy brands that bash other brands.” ROTFLMFAO – you failed loser of a fanboy. Apple can’t make a working product so they are unable to offer any highlights of it in their ads. As a result each Apple ad is about bashing other products. What’s that failed Mac retard’s name again from Apple’s ads? Justin Long or something? And you’re gonna tell me you don’t buy brands that bash other brands? Effin loser. Like I would expect something more sophisticated from Mac fanboy!

Droid Does Anti-iPhone Ad by Verizon Shoves Big One up iPhone’s Ass

Happy — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 13:46:14 +0000

Everything released by Apple has been a FAIL! Every person using Apple products is a FAIL! But of all Apple’s failures, nothing shines as bright as iPhone. iPhone is the king of FAIL, unless you consider long lasting, ongoing FAIL of Macintosh computers. To add salt to the wound, Verizon has released an ad that mocks the crap out of iPhone. Everything iPhone iDon’t, Droid Does. Mocking iPhone like that gives Verizon and Droid Does extra brownie points, but even Droid Does failed in the fact that it’s powered by Google Android 2.0. Anything powered by Google Anything is bound to FAIL. Nevertheless, the Anti-iPhone ad by Verizon is pretty bad ass.

The following is what Motorola Droid Does, while iPhone iDon’t:

iDon’t have a real keyboard
iDon’t run simultaneous apps
iDon’t take 5-megapixel pictures
iDon’t customize
iDon’t run widgets
iDon’t allow open development
iDon’t take pictures in the dark
iDon’t have interchangeable batteries

EVerything iDon’t, Droid Does!

Lists of Most Stressful Jobs and Least Stressful Jobs

Happy — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 04:24:45 +0000

Canadian Globe and Mail newspaper published results of the study focused on discovering the most and the least stressful jobs as conducted by Erich Dierdorff – assistant professor of management at DePaul University. Without further ado, let’s get right down to the lists of both most stressful jobs and least stressful jobs:

List of Most Stressful Jobs

Police officers
Fire fighters
Family or general practice physicians

List of Least Stressful Jobs

Taxi drivers
Insurance adjusters
Bank tellers

By looking at the lists, you’re probably thinking the same I was thinking – yet another bullshit study that proved absolutely nothing. Just as majority of studies before. Or family or general practitioners I have known in my life took 6 week vacations 5 times a year. They work 4 day workweeks and come to work 2 hours late anytime they feel like. How is that effin stressful?

On the other hand taxi drivers often struggle to make ends meet and have to navigate in shitty traffic dealing with potential dangers of gang activities and pimping in the world outside. How is that not stressful? This study proved a big pile of shit.

The only thing potentially relevant about this study were the work/family conflicts. After studying people in 126 professions, Erich Dierdorff found that those from the most stressful job list faced much more conflicts in personal lives and those from least stressful jobs list faced the least conflicts in personal lives. The conclusion was that jobs with high levels of interaction contribute to increased stress levels yadda yadda, which basically makes entire study laughable because the jobs of the least stressful jobs list are all jobs that are based on constant interaction with others. All I can say about these lists is – FAIL!

Stressful Job Image by http://frixedairwave.deviantart.com/

Barack Obama’s Another Epic Fail – Gift to the Queen Elizabeth II

Happy — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 19:31:37 +0000

I can’t seem to get enough of Barack Obama’s failures. In all fairness though – can that guy be any more of a fail than he already is? The answer is simple – Yes, He Can! And he does. Barack Obama delivered yet another epic fail during his private ceremony with Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II. This is what Queen Elizabeth II presented the Obamas with during the ceremony:

Earliest known copy of Henry V by William Shakespeare
Original sheet music of Amazing Grace by John Newton

The Obama daughters were presented with:

Dollhouse sized replica of Windsor Castle with working train station
Prize Shetland pony

Michelle Obama, Barack Obama’s wife was presented with:

Ruby ring commissioned and worn by Queen Victoria herself!

Following is what Barack Obama and his family handed as gifts to the Queen Elizabeth II. The gifts were all within the Heathrow airport duty free shopping bag:

Signed copy of Dreams of My Father book from the WH Smith shop at the airport
Johnny Walker Scotch (black label)
ABBA Greatest Hits CD (in shrink wrap with “2 for 1″ sticker on it)
10 packs of M&Ms with presidential seal on them

Upon receiving unsurpassed gifts, Queen Elizabeth II responded with “How delightful.” Got to love British charm. What can I say…. Barack Obama = Epic fail!

PS – have you checked the date lately? Either way, iPod is a dumb gift for anyone. Apple products just plain suck. Besides, queen already has one. Despite today being an April Fools Day, it changes nothing on the fact that Barack Obama is an epic fail.

FAIL: Barack Obama Thanks Himself

Happy — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 15:26:51 +0000

All aboard the fail-boat. Barack Obama, the man who put a whole new meaning to FAIL is at it again, this time more epic than ever after he’d thanked himself for throwing a St. Patrick’s Day party and inviting everyone over. The “Obama Thanks Himself FAIL has not concluded the fail-boat of last night’s party at the White House. Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen – one of the invited guests delivered an epic fail of his own. What happened?

After Barack Obama delivered his speech (it was a pre Obama thanking himself speech), Brian Cowen stepped on the podium to deliver his speech. few paragraphs into his main act, he realized his speech, which he was reading from the teleprompter, sounded awfully familiar. That was when he realized he was reading the same sentences that were previously read by Barack Obama. Fail after fail.

Brian Cowen then came to and realized he was reading Barack Obama speech, to which US president responded by reading Irish Prime Minister’s speech and thanked himself for inviting everyone over. What a party!

As Barack Obama thanks himself, I couldn’t help but notice – doesn’t he throw parties at the White House pretty much every day? That dude is a party animal, I swear. And media continues making news with his cock up their asses. Sure, if Obama thanks himself, that’s funny. But when he says that Guinness beer tastes better in Ireland becuase Irish keep the good stuff for themselves, somehow the media fail to disclose that Barack Obama has never visited Ireland. That guy is full of poop and fail. But he’s got his fellow ass-kissers who will not hesitate to worship him no matter what. Congrats to all the winners.

Photo source: foxnews.com

Epic Wedding Fail – Must See Video

Happy — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 21:51:53 +0000

This is precious – the best wedding video I’ve ever seen. The bride and groom (and best man) will have great memory to commemorate for the rest of their lives. The ultimate epic wedding fail is here. It really is a must see video, you’re gonna love that shit.

The fail is so epic, I’m having hard time trusting its authenticity, but if it’s real and really happened as we see, then damn… I’m gonna have to try really hard to outdo this shit when I get married. Just precious. Watch it!

Sarah Larson, George Clooney Break Up – Gold Digger Failed

admin — Thu, 29 May 2008 04:58:17 +0000

One of the almost most successful gold diggers of all time failed at her cock sucking. Sarah Larson who’s been seen along side George Clooney for over a year and got to live the life of the elite and see the world with him is no longer his girlfriend. The break up was confirmed by a “source” close to George Clooney – whatever that means. One way or another, Sarah Larson failed and is now headed back to work as a waiter from whence she came.

Stupid whore has been with the man for such a long time and didn’t get herself knocked up? What is she stupid or something? She was so close to her cream and fucked it all up. This is the fundamental lesson in gold digging. Once you get lucky enough to get hooked up with an A List celebrity, you work your ass off to get knocked up. Because you are replaceable. There will always be someone hotter who gives better blowjob than you. Collect that cum in your mouth, pretend you go to wash your teeth, spit it in your hand and shove it up your pussy. How difficult is that? Had Sarah Larson done that, she’d have been set for life. Now she’s a has been who’s not gonne get a second chance. Here’s one for you, Sarah – FAIL!

Victoria Beckham Fails Again in Ad for Marc Jacobs

admin — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 22:48:59 +0000

Victoria Beckham is so desperate for attention and so fail each time it’s hilarious. This is Posh in latest ad for Marc Jacobs and once again – FAIL.

This hairdo and outfit would work if she was trying to depict Brazilian tranny, but fails big time as an attemt to become a style icon. Victoria Beckham, listen to me. You my dead FAILED. Give it a break already, it’s disgraceful. Gahhhh

If you didn’t know (I had no idea either), Marc Jacobs is a Ney York based fashion designer with his own brand who also does design for Louis Vuitton. He truly found the best victim for his uber ad campaign… Good job!

Beer Steak Bullshit » Fail

Ban Female Drivers!

Further Reading:

iDon’t Care Response to Droid Does by Loser Apple Fanboys

Further Reading:

Droid Does Anti-iPhone Ad by Verizon Shoves Big One up iPhone’s Ass

Further Reading:

Lists of Most Stressful Jobs and Least Stressful Jobs

List of Most Stressful Jobs

List of Least Stressful Jobs

Further Reading:

Barack Obama’s Another Epic Fail – Gift to the Queen Elizabeth II

Further Reading:

FAIL: Barack Obama Thanks Himself

Further Reading:

Epic Wedding Fail – Must See Video

Further Reading:

Sarah Larson, George Clooney Break Up – Gold Digger Failed

Further Reading:

Victoria Beckham Fails Again in Ad for Marc Jacobs

Further Reading: