Beer Steak Bullshit

This ugly, blond haired, fake tittied skank who refers to herself as a MILF made a spoof of CopperCab’s Gingers Have Souls rant. While I find her atrociously ugly and irritating, I must give her props for memorizing much of Ginger’s rant and pulling off her own parody of it. MILFs Have Souls would actually be pretty funny if it was done by a MILF, not a third grade wannabe porn star.

When you look at someone like this human waste in the video above, you no longer wonder why some men talk about shoving their junk down skank’s throat to shut her up. She doesn’t have the presence and charisma of CopperCab and comes out as boring and sad. She doesn’t have the looks either and when she made the reference to raising a kid, all of my red lights went berserk. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had spawned a bastard when she was 16 cause that’s about all she could do with the brain capacity she sports, but I can’t imagine her bringing the kid up. It’s either in her parent’s care or has been adopted by someone with brain.

Tamara Mellon is a multi-millionaire, president of Johnny Choo designer shoes company and a former girlfriend of Christian Slater. She doesn’t look too bad for an old hog, but don’t let those finely defined breasts underneath the bikini deceive you. Tamara Mellon had plastic surgery done on her tits and when she’s in any position other than upright, they look horrendous. You know how skin wrinkles up along the sides of woman’s torso when she has silicones in her breasts and bends over? Yeah, that’s what Tamara Mellon looks like thanks to plastic surgery. Other than fake tits, Tamara Mellon looks mighty good in the bikini for a 43 year old MILF.

Tamara Mellon photo by Bauer Griffin

There was nothing wrong with Amy Winehouse and her breasts prior to the silicone stuffings. There was plenty of wrong with her, but her breasts were fine. Why she decided to go under the scalpel of a plastic surgeon and have her titties mutilated with implants is beyond me. Now Amy Winehouse is the same ranks of other breast implants skanks like Shauna Sand and the such. Horrendous. Each time I see photos of Amy Winehouse and her new implants, is makes the cockroaches in my walls squeal.

According to reports, Amy Winehouse spent $6000 for her breast implants and allegedly it as in efforts to regain her pre-drug abuse curvy body. Hmmm, can’t say she’s achieved. Furthermore, putting silicones in your breasts will not rid you of the looks of former drug junkie. It’s crazy how women can lose a lot of their bust by succumbing to drugs and alcohol.

Gallery of Amy Winehouse breast implant photos is below. Truly sad:

This awful looking blond in the picture is Jasmine Fiore. 28 year old Jasmine Fiore is a bikini model and Playboy representative. Why am I not surprised that when I see a fake blonde with atrocious fake boobs and beastly make-up with chola eyebrows, it’s somehow associated with Playboy. Hugh Hefner has the worst taste in women and he imposes it on unsavvy men through his outdated magazine. Hef needs to realize that there’s only one creature worthy of coveted title “model” – Squirrel the Magnificent. Nobody can pose those moobs like he can, nevermind the best impersonation of Nosferatu since Max Schreck.

However, despite her horrendous looks, I’m not gonna focus on that too much as poor Jasmine Fiore may be going through some hardship. Lisa Lepore, mother of Jasmine Fiore reported to the police that her daughter was last seen on Friday, August 14, 2009 and has not been heard from since.

Jasmine Fiore, whose name was Jasmine Kinkaid until her recent move to Los Angeles, moved to California from Las Vegas to start a personal training business there. She lived in the 800 block of Edinburgh Avenue, close to Melrose Avenue and according to her mom, she was not planning to go anywhere. And then bam – missing. Lisa Lepore says it’s not typical of her daughter to vanish without saying where she’s going so she’s rightfully freaked out.

If you see said Jasmine Fiore, don’t freak out. Collect yourself and contact LAPD about her whereabouts. I know she may scare the living poop out of you, but she’s just a harmless blonde with nasty tits is all.

This 24 year old ho Melissa Berry got all feisty and shit cause her ex-boyfriend Mark Dawson posted her naked pics on MySpace. First of all – ewww – Damn this Melissa Berry has an ugly pair of fake boobs mounted on her. No wander Mark Dawson the douche is an ex-boyfriend. I mean the ho would work fine for morning after when booze is oozing out of my ears and I need to puke. I’d just look at Melissa Berry’s fake tits and I’d throw up – problem solved. But I don’t get plastered every day. What’s the use for those ugly, vomit inducers then?

Melissa Berry is a lingerie football league player for Tampa Bay Breeze. Damn, that’s different. I didn’t know there was such thing as lingerie football league. How fucking useless. Make it naked or GTFO. Seriously, who wants to watch ugly whores with fake boobs prounce around in lingerie. Get a fucking life people. Stripping dodgeball – that’s the shit. Lingerie football can suck my left nut.

And obviously Melissa Berry doesn’t get that shit either. She got her tits faked out to gross everybody out and gets all pissy when her gay boyfriend posts nude pick on MySpace. The silicone must have gone toxic cause Melissa Berry is suing gay’s ass for publishing those nude pics. Internet users should sue Mark Dawson too for screwing their day by making them look at those gross fake tits naked. Ewww, that’s one disgusting visual right there.

Carin Ashley - Sexy Girls Next Door

Meet Carin Ashley. Carin was on 2005 Special Edition of Playboy entitled Sexy Girls Next Door. I’m not sure about that one. Carin Ashley is hot and I wouldn’t hesitate exchanging genital juices with her overused vagina, but she looks anything but a girl next door to me. She does look sexy though, so I left that one out form the previous statement.

Carin Ashley was born in Florida on January 13, 1984. Her parents moved to Slidell, Louisiana shortly after her birth so Carin grew up in a genuine southern setting. Her 32 DD boobs are a bit too big for my liking and look like they may have been helped by plastic surgery, which definitely doesn’t count as a Sexy Girls Next Door anymore, but I may be mistaken. Tits too big never the less, unless you love giant chichis.

EDIT: nevermind – Carin Ashley does have implants. Just did some research and yeah… silly cow got her tits augmented. Well, it got her on cover of Playboy, let’s just hope they don’t explode on her when she flies in a plane. Actually, that’d be hilarious. I’m hoping someone films that when it happens. Wouldn’t that be the shit

More of blonde Carin Ashley. What do you think? Yay or nay? Would you hit them fake titties?

Tila Tequila, the embodiment of all things gross proved me once again why her booby are the ugliest masses of silicone under the Sun. Those things are bigger than her head. So fucking gross… Gah!

I’m sure there’s got to be restraining order for Tila Tequila and her booby restraining her from flying. You wouldn’t want those gross fake boobs to explode up in the air. She may be useful on a boat though. If you’re going to sink, just hang on to those inflatables and you’re saved.

Damn this bitch is ugly…

What a cute chick she was when she was in Junior High. DListed posted a vintage yearbook picture of Playboy Playmate Shauna Sand from Muirlands Junior High School in La Jolla, California. She was a cute chick back then, now she’s a plastic, anorexic fake blond with gross fake boobs. BTW, if you in dire need of vomiting, check out nip slip and pussy flas pics of Shauna Sand which look as though her nipple was going to fall off. Pretty gross. The link is NSFW, though.

Compare the shit for yourself:

above – Shauna Sand Yearbook Pic from Muirlands Junior High School in La Jolla
below – Shauna Sand today as plastic fake blonde looking ho always wearing stripper high heels with see through platforms.

Well, there’s only one, but her boobs are so gross, I had to post it. Everybody’s favorite silicone tits aka Jodie Marsh brought her plastic breast surgery to some dude’s party in exchange for free booze and partied it out like a rock star. We all have our ways to join fun, Jodie Marsh pathed her way with her grossly oversized fake boobs.

Seriously, don’t sneeze too loud or those things are going to burst up and the silicone will land right on your face. Actually that would be worth it. I’d go to that party. I’d be pretending I’m popping balloons when the lights go bright at the end of all fun and pop one of her boobs to explode in my face. I’d walk around with it for weeks. I wouldn’t even shower and would tell everybody I got Jodie Marsh’s tits all over my face. Damn hot.

Kelly Rowland – 27 years old singer and founding member of Destiny’s Child – admitted to having a secret plastic surgery done which brought her breasts from an A-cup to a B-cup.

Kelly Rowland says she didn’t want to go too big, such as DD-cups, cause that could look nuts on her slim body frame, but apparently she was thinking about getting a boob job since she was 17. She also pulled some ridiculous tricks as if we were all too dumb. She said the reason why she went for breast implants was because she couldn’t fit into some of her fine clothes. She only wants to wear designer clothes, because anything less than that is not good enough for her and since she’d only have the cream of the crop wardrobe, she might as well go all in and fill them up with proper boobage. What a pile of crap!

What an attention whore. Since the break up of Destiny’s Child, she’s been shaded by Beyonce and only got as far as to be her back up singer and had to struggle real hard for attention of the media. So she pulled this ridiculous stunt at us. So, now all of the teenage girls who dream about being in a spotlight and wear designer clothes will grow up with complexes after their role model got her breasts enlarged so she could wear designer clothes. Whoa. Way to go, Kelly Rowland, way to go.

There’s still hope for our kids though. Kelly Rowland really means shit nowadays and even this desperate struggle for media attention is worth shit so kids ain’t gonna look up to her anyway.