Beer Steak Bullshit

Remember Miranda Tozier-Robbins from American Idol season 5? Yeah, me neither. Well, the 26 year old ex American Idol contestants went crazy when she decided to stalk Britney Spears at her private residence in Calabasas. Security personnel guarding the property of Britney Spears noticed a camouflage wearing person creeping around the windows to the residence, went to check out on the situation and found Miranda Tozier-Robbins taking peeks inside, while carrying a backpack with a video camera inside. That must be the most boring celebrity stalker story ever. I thought stalker are more creative – you know, like they get in the house through the chimney, pack themselves up in a cupboard and quietly jerk off snooping at them through tiny gap. 21st century stalkers suck.

According to reports, when security people told Miranda Tozier-Robbins to leave as she was on a private property and could be charged with trespassing, she disregarded their requests and stalked on hoping for an encounter with Britney Spears. The security didn’t put up with any of that and called sheriffs people who removed Miranda Tozier-Robbins from the property. The ex-American Idol turned Britney Spears stalker is now charged with trespassing and disorderly conduct. The mugshot of her awesomeness is above.

The biggest joke is that Britney Spears was not even at home when Miranda Tozier-Robbins went on her routine stalk around the house. What was she thinking she’d accomplish? Take a picture of her washroom and sell it to OK Magazine? Boring. She needs to get her logistics straightened out. You don’t go stalking Britney Spears unless Britney Spears is around. That is of course provided it wasn’t the security guy she wanted to stalk. In which case she can give herself a Borat toned: “GREAT SUCCESS!”

See that hot piece of golfing ass in the pic above? That’s Anna Rawson – arguably the hottest athlete in the world. I know there’s no way any athlete is this hot and you’re right – Anna Rawson is in fact a model on golf tours. She’d probably beat my ass in golf, but I wouldn’t care anyway if I was to play her, I’d just get her to bend to rub that ball and grab the stick firmly in her hands then give it a stroke. Golf chicks must be hot fucking lay, no shit.

Anna Rawson took the whole awesomeness to a brand new level – she shared her cell phone number on a public blog so anyone can call her and tell her how sweet her ass looks. You’re probably just gonna get an answering machine, but Anna Rawson swears she’s the one who’ll be picking up the messages and she also says she’ll listen to them all. Great PR for a sweet but unknown ass. Models are a dime in a dozen, wanna make yourself stand out? Share your cell phone number publically. All sleazy stalkers are gonna droll and you get media attention no other model gets. Bitch’s got it all figured out.

I suspect we’ll hear the messages people will leave on her answering machine popping up all over the place. There are gonna be some hilarious offers to marry her, to have the best sex of her life, to help her teach some fucker golf or to exchange erotic pics. Seriously, I know… I’ve already left some. Bitch is gonna post the one where I masturbate while I pretend I talk to her. I’ll even get off to listening to myself whining on her phone. Anna Rawson, will you fucking marry me?

BTW, call her – 213-785-7675 – I don’t wanna be the only sleazy stalker! And remember, whoever can beat Dmitri and his priceless message in the video below gets to pop Anna Rawson’s cherry.

Anna Rawson image credit: GolfPunkOnline.com