Beer Steak Bullshit

When comparing latest tablet with the oldest one, there aren’t many differences to spot. Above is a visual comparison of iPad tablet from Apple vs Ancient Stone as a tablet. Aside from the touch screen, the 2010 iPad is about as advanced as an ancient stone from 40,000 BC. That’s pretty much where Apple stands as a company.

Aside from having the capabilities of an ancient stone tablet, iPad also sports truly ugly frame around the screen that sports a 4:3 ratio (aka no widescreen), it has no support for Flash, no support for multitasking (that’s right, if you’d like to listen to music while you are checking emails – forget it, iPod won’t allow you to do that. It’s just too much for it), no camera – whether facing forward or back, no USB slots (WTF, seriously), need for adapters – you will need to buy whole pile of adapters if you would like to do something as fundamental as uploading your pictures from a digital camera onto an iPad, and you are limited to App Store with new applications – you simply can’t install an application you want, you can only install an application offered in App Store. iPad is plain and simple a prehistoric failure of bullshit. Steve Jobs has proven me right again – Apple Sucks!

I take great pleasure at mocking Apple as a company cause they are pure failure front to back. But Steve Jobs really tried hard to serve me a ball for a smash introduction of iPad. So much anticipation, Apple fanboys were creaming their gay pants over new Apple tablet and what they got is iPad. I mean – what did they expect? It’s an Apple product, it’s bound to fail and suck. I know – nobody quite expected it to suck this much but there’s just one answer to that – it’s an Apple product. That says it all. Case closed.

Apple is responding to the failure of iPad and introduces new, breakthrough, miraculous device called iPan Nano. iPad Nano fits in your pocket and you can make phone calls with it. And let’s not forget it also has a camera. iPad Nano is the poop… Wait a minute!

Yesterday what was many considered a big deal in the techie world because Apple jock Steve Jobs introduced what was to be the next big thing – iPad. As for me, whether it’s iPad, iPod, iPhone, iSuckballs or whatever else you call it – those are all Apple products and Apple never delivers. Their overpriced, underperforming gadgets for fanbois are for show off, not for use. I can find a better way to throw money out the window if I choose to do so and will leave buying of lame Apple products to people without brains. But let’s focus on the ever-mighty iPad and the truth behind the device:

No matter how much Apple fanbois end up being crybabies all over the internet worshipping their little sexually dysfunctional Gods by brownnosing their anal warted cavities, it changes nothing on the fact that iPad, just as every other Apple product FAILs hard. And what iPad really is? I’ll let the picture above answer that question. Just take duct tape from your kitchen drawer and tape four iPhones together and you will get this super awesome device there has been so much secrecy about prior to yesterday’s press conference. iPad = yet another Apple FAIL.

Steve Jobs came on stage to introduce iPad like it’s the next big thing, yet iPad has been around for a good little while now. The official iPad Release Date was to be announced today but before Steve Jobs could do so, he got his balls busted. MAD Tv announced the release of iPad long before this embarrassing introduction of this Apple product. MAD Tv should totally sue Apple for this trademark theft

Watch the video proof below:

Techworld is all about iPad today. iPad – a tablet from Apple is supposed to offer somewhat the capabilities of a laptop but at a size just a tad bigger than a cell phone. From the first official picture of iPad released, it looks just like iPhone, only a bit wider along the x axis. Engadged is posting pictures of iPad live as the conference with Steve Jobs is happening as we speak. Stay tuned.

What this iPad is – it’s basically one portable online browser. Sadly, because iPad is an Apple, it’s a big portable Safari, which blows chunks of dried up sperm. More iPad pictures in the gallery below:

iPad photos from Engadget

Apple CEO Steve Jobs was rumored to have suffered a heart attack but Apple now debunked the claims as false denying the rumors.

iReport – CNN’s citizen journalism blog has reported earlier today that Steve Jobs was taken to the ER after he suffered a massive heart attack. iReport claimed they had the news from a reliable insider. Apple responded to it swiftly saying that Steve Jobs did not have no heart attack but who knows what’s going on.

Apple shares dropped 5.4% after the Steve Jobs heart attack hit the waves and fully rebounded after the news was denied by Apple. Maybe Apple just needed to keep their shares at their favorable level so they’re denying the truth. Afterall, it’s Apple we’re talking about. I don’t trust them one bit.