Beer Steak Bullshit » Turks and Caicos

Elisabetta Canalis – New Gold Digger Girlfriend of George Clooney

Happy — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:41:36 +0000

Elisabetta Canalis is the latest winner of gold digger extraordinaire award for scoring herself George Clooney. Gold digging with George Cloone is a temporary sport anyway. Elisabetta Canalis better make the most out of the moment while it lasts and brace for quick end to it. Clooney’s got that poop down already. I mean look at where Sarah Larson ended up at. Even gold digging ain’t what it used to be. Newbs don’t understand the drill. Here’s a brief lesson for Elisabetta Canalis:

Learn to give best deepthroat on Earth, wait till you’re alone with Clooney, take initiative, undo his pants and suck meanest cock ever. Give blowjob everyone would want more of. Next time you won’t have to undo his pants, the cock will come whipping at you on its own, suck a bit on it, then shove it up your snatch and make sure you don’t let him pull out. You got to get yourself pregnant. Once a kid is born and you have had DNA tests done to prove it’s George Clooney’s, then you can throw a party on Turks and Caicos and live happily ever after.

Get it, Elisabetta Canalis? That’s how pros do it. Once in a lifetime opportunity, don’t blow it, stupid. I mean blow IT, blow it like your life depends on it. BTW, Elisabetta Canalis is an actress. She’s from Italy and is 30 year old. Italian bitches rule. George Clooney has been spending a lot of time in Italy, since he’s got a bad-ass villa on Lake Como and his next movie will be filmed in Italy as well. There’ll be lots of opportunities for snugging between the two. She’ll still get the boot when the time comes, unless she follows my simple tutorial to riches by gold digging. Even though in case of Elisabetta Canalis, I’m pretty sure her previous modeling and acting gigs paid quite well.

Bianca Golden vs Nikki Blonsky Bitch-Fest Dropped

Happy — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 17:07:10 +0000

The bitch-fest bitches who stirred shit at Turks and Caicos airport last year are finally finding the way to let the crap go and move on with their lives. According to Calvin Chase – the Police Sgt from Turks and Caicos, charges against both Bianca Golden and Nikki Blonsky have been dropped. Bitches got each other a Christmas present.

As you may remember, Hairspray actress Nikki Blonsky got into a bitch fight with America’s Next Top Model ho Bianca Golden at Turks and Caicos last year. Big family brawl erupted and bitches got arrested. Bianca Golden went to bitch about it on the Tyra Bank Show and said Carl Blonsky, Nikki’s father beat the shit out of her mommy who had to be taken to hospital. Nikki responded by calling Bianca Golden a liar. Carl Blonsky remains busted with charges against him pending. If convicted, he could be facing up to five years in prison.

All charges against both Bianca Golden and Nikki Blonsky have been dropped, even though no reasons as to why were released. I know why… Bitches got drunk, ended up sleeping with each other and enjoyed mutual vagina rubs. That shit drops any charges.

Nikki Blonsky Says Bianca Golden is a Liar

Happy — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 18:02:45 +0000

Nikki Blonsky Says Bianca Golden is a Liar

…and the Nikki Blonsky vs Bianca Golden drama continues. It started as a catfight at Turks and Caicos airport, was followed by arrests and jailtime, Bianca Golden then referred to Nikki Blonsky as crotch kicker and Nikki Blonsky now calls Bianca Golden “a liar”. Are you still with me?

This whole situation’s been one big mess. You can’t even guess whom to believe anymore. Nikki Blonsky says Bianca Golden called her “white bitch” and punched her in the face. On the other hand, Nikki’s dad Carl Blonsky is charged for punching Bianca’s mother in the face. So many face punches. They should have ass fisted each other instead. BTW, it’s the accusations that Carl Blonsky punched Elaine Golden in the mug that had Nikki Blonsky calling Bianca Golden a liar. What a fucking mess this is!

Carl Blonsky Remains in Jail after Airport Brawl

Happy — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 22:47:29 +0000

Carl Blonsky, the father of Hairspray star Nikki Blonsky remains in jail in Turks and Caicos after judge’s ruling who said he’s not leaving the bars until his trial which is scheduled for August 19, 2008. 53 year old Carl Blonsky is facing assault charges after airport brawl that had him, his daughter Nikki Blonsky and America’s Next Top Model participant Bianca Golden with her mom Elaine Golden fighting head over heels.

Carl Blonsky must have delivered decent beat down to Elaine Golden as she ended up getting an airlift to a hospital in Aventura, Florida. An assault charge with grievous bodily harm is a felony that’s punishable by up to five years behind bars – wow. Carl Blonsky better hope he doesn’t get his ass busted so bad he’ll stay in Turks and Caicos jail for so many years. I’m sure Bubba is looking forward to test driving a virgin ass.

Carl Blonsky has no previous criminal records. It’s unbelievable how a little catfight can land you in jail and could keep you there for years. Judge denied bail.

Lisa Raye Cheated on – Her Husband Michael Misick did Rocsi

Happy — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 15:39:36 +0000

Lisa Raye, an American actress who’s married to Michael Misick, the Chief Minister of the Turks and Caicos Islands (yes, it’s the same Turks and Caicos where Bianca Golden and Nikki Blonsky got arrested) had her husband cheat on her with “106 and Park” host Rocsi. Damn, I’ve never even heard of Turks and Caicos and all of a sudden there’s so much action going on around there. Way to boost tourism industry on the island.

It’s such a love triangle. We have Rosci aka Raquel Roxanne Diaz who is a popular Black Entertainment Television (BET) VJ hosting Top Ten video chart called 106 & Park. Then we have Premier of Turks and Caicos who is facing corruption and rape charges and then we have Lisa Raye McCoy-Misick, who is an actress from All of Us and Beauty Shop and wife of potentially corrupt politician Michael Misick.

Lisa Raye’s spokes person released a statement that while his client Lisa Raye was in New York, Rosci stayed with her husband Michael Misick at their house and hosted guests as if it was her place.

Michael Misick has some serious nerve going for him. Lisa Raye is a hot piece of meat. She’s still with him despite rape charges. And now to add salt to the wound, he included cheating to it. I’m expecting divorce coming very soon and this hot piece of ass Lisa Raye will be available again. Somebody give her my number. I won’t cheat on her.

But I’m not a prime minister either

Bianca Golden and Nikki Blonsky Arrested After Catfight

Happy — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 05:56:10 +0000

America’s Next Top Model Bianca Golden (pictured above) and Hairspray actress Nikki Blonsky got into a catfight style giant brawl at the airport and ended up getting their sweet asses arrested. I’d love to arrest Bianca Golden’s sweet ass. I’d slam her on the hood of my police car, would tell her to spread her legs wide so I can whisk her to make sure there is no weapon hiding between her hot thighs. Aiiigh, I’d have my way with her…

Both bitches were at the Turks and Caicos Providenciales airport and got into a cat fight over which seat was whose. BTW, Turks and Caicos is a little island in the Caribbean. Don’t beat yourself down. I had no damn clue where it was either. You’re not the only dumb ass around.

The reports say what started as a cat fight soon turned into an all out airport brawl with Bianca Golden family on one end and Nikki Blonsky family on the other and at some point Carl Blonsky – dad of Nikki Blonsky – smacked Eleine Golden with his mighy hand sending her down so the air ambulance was called to get her to the hospital quickly. Wow, sounds like my kind of damn cat fight. Dad’s beating the shit out of moms and hot asses pulling each other’s hair. Vacation of a lifetime. That’s probably most action Providenciales airport in Turks and Caicos got in decades.

Bianca Golden, Nikki Blonsky and Carl Blonsky were arrested and charged with assault. While hot asses of Bianca and Nikki were released on bail, Carl Blonsky faces additional charges – inflicting bodily harm – and will remain in jail for a week. Wow!

Beer Steak Bullshit » Turks and Caicos

Elisabetta Canalis – New Gold Digger Girlfriend of George Clooney

Further Reading:

Bianca Golden vs Nikki Blonsky Bitch-Fest Dropped

Further Reading:

Nikki Blonsky Says Bianca Golden is a Liar

Further Reading:

Carl Blonsky Remains in Jail after Airport Brawl

Further Reading:

Lisa Raye Cheated on – Her Husband Michael Misick did Rocsi

Further Reading:

Bianca Golden and Nikki Blonsky Arrested After Catfight

Further Reading: