Beer Steak Bullshit

I love chicks who have big gap between their thighs. Any woman who puts her legs together and you would still fit your fist between her thighs because her general vaginal area is that wide are the poop. Chicks like that have well developed pubic bone and make for excellent bumper when thrusting missionary style. Miranda Kerr is like that. While any hot vagina model who poses for Victorias Secret loses browney points for being a Victoria Secret model, it does pay for something being able to see the uber gap between her thighs.

Miranda Kerr’s hot body rules even though I don’t particularly care for her face. I’ve never noticed it until the last minute. That bikini body rules the shite though. Nice, tight little ass and flat stomach – how can you go wrong?

Gallery of pictures featuring Miranda Kerr and her hot body that rules in Victoria’s Secret bikini is below:

Remember when Teri Hatcher was a hot dish and every man dreamed of getting in her pants? Yeah, me neither. It must have been a pretty long ass time ago. Teri Hatcher is now an old, overused and warn out piece of lose snatch that nobody desires to see naked yet she pulls this publicity stunt exposing her shaved pussy before the cameras of the paparazzi. What is she shaving her pussy for anyway? It’s disgusting. It reveals the lose skin around her general vaginal area and makes it look like she’s got warts on her vag. Gross.

Pictures are from the Malibu Triathlon. Kudos to Teri Hatcher for pulling the triathlon off even though her pussy suggests she could be just about 90 year old or so. However old she is, she can do the triathlon and that’s pretty bad ass. Shaving one’s snatcher when you’re this old and pulling off your underwear to reveal it should be illegal, though.

Pics of Teri Hatcher by Mavrix Photo

This mash-up contains so much idiocy I don’t even know where to start. Paris Hilton got into a food fight with Kendhal Beal – blond ho from the photo above. Kendhal Beal is a nobody, a wannabe model and a wishful actress and by the looks of it, she’s ready to throw her vagina at any direction from where she could embark on her journey to becoming a publicized ho. Her wish was partially granted when Doug Reinhardt came her way.

Doug Reinhardt was at the time a boyfriend of Paris Hilton but sheer elegance of plastic blondie Kendhal Beal bewitched him and moron started dreaming of nirvana engulfed in Kendhal’s pussy juices. We all would have no idea anything like that went down, but it appears sources of Paris Hilton knew that and when Paris met with Kendhal face to face in LA’s Darkroom Club, the encounter turned into a food fight. That’s right, two blondes food fighting over Doug Reinhardt. Only one of the blondes is actually rich where as the other one is simply plastic. Paris Hilton wins.

23 year old wannabe model from , Houston, Texas claims that Paris started it and threw ice and fruit at her while calling her all sort of nasty names. Doug Reinhardt probably never buried his face into Kendhal Beal’s vagina. He was simply seen hanging out with the company of friends and she was there too. If that’s really the case, then Paris Hilton had just helped a clueless wannabe model to fast forward her non existent career. What more could Kendhal Beal wish for. She’s just a plastic looking blonde who had no life before her. Now she’s talked about all thanks to Paris Hilton. What blessings.

Rumors of who Britney Spears is rubbing her vagina with are very popular. When it comes to her agent Jason Trawick, the rumor of the two dating are nothing new. The same rumor hit the websphere the same time last year – maybe it’s an annual thing. Check out “Jason Trawick – Closer Look at Britney Spears Agent” for more info on last year’s alleged romance.

I was curious though – anybody knows what happened to Sundip Soparrkar? There was a big boo boo that he was throwing his penis into Britney Spears’ vagina about 6 months ago and somehow it got all forgotten. I thought that was something serious yet nothing again. Jason Trawick is a repeated romance. If it didn’t work last year, I doubt it will work this year. It’s likely just another over inflated story after the two were seen dry humping each other. Dry humping sucks, you just wet your pants with excitement juices but no semen comes out cause it’s not good enough.

Anyway, in the latest release of Jason Trawick dating Britney Spears rumor it is said that this time around it’s serious and that daddy Spears loves the guy. If daddy spears approved, the penis can go into a vagina. Nothing makes it to Britney Spears’ vagina unless Daddy Spears puts his seal of approval on it.

PS – yea, I’m back from my 10 days long trip to Iceland so there will be updates again. The trip was epic… did you miss me?

You’re probably thinking what I am thinking – who the eff is Brittny Gastineau. The answer is simple – who cares. She’s got paparazzi around her and her dress delivered near nip slip. It’s really weak, it’s not an actual nip slip as you can’t see no damn nipple, but there’s a hint of areola and that’s about as close to work not safe as I can get with otherwise work safe Beer Steak blog, right? You all work hard, you’re always at work so we need to keep things SFW. Anyway… Brittny Gastineau!

Brittny Gastineau is a daughter of former NFL player Mark Gastineau. As if being a daughter of the player in the gayest and most boring sport in the world wasn’t embarrassing enough, Brittny Gastineau forced her ass on the reality show The Gastineau Girls that aired on E! So basically she’s a nobody and nobody gives a crap. Except from me right now, cause I just found out Brittny Gastineau was born on November 11. Do you know what that means? That means that she’s a Scorpio, just like me. She probably gives mean head and has vagina with teeth (vagina dentata). Scorpios are the tits in bed.

The picture of Brittny Gastineau with near nip slip were taken last year just as she was on the way to her birthday party (yeah, in November) at the nightclub Villa in Los Angeles. Get this, her boyfriend Richard Voll was with her. How embarrassing is that? You don’t drag your boyfriends to birthday parties? You should get laid on birthday. Besides, chicks who have boyfriends plain suck. There is nothing more frustrating than a chick on whom you’ve been hitting telling you that she had a boyfriend. Well, grow up. Get rid of him so guys like me can dip my mean penis into your juicy vagina, Duh!!

Brittny Gastineau picture gallery containing near nip slip is below. High res pics available, just click it till you see it.

Brittny Gastineau photos by MAVRIXPHOTO.COM

By bumping her coochie pie with Sandip Soparrkar, Britney Spears has officially reached a whole new bottom. WTF is she thinking? Why does she hook up with all those weird characters from Middle East and South West Asia? Plus look at that guy Sandip Soparrkar. He’s got “GAY” written all over his face. Are there not enough straight guys in the world for girls to hook yo with? I mean “HELLO”… I’m right here, have no pussy to stick my dick into and Britney Spears flies to India to spread her vagina for a gay loon? That’s fucking disturbing.

Sandip Soparrkar is a choreographer from Bollywood who put together Britney Spears’ Womanizer video. Sources say that Britney Spears met Sandip Soparrkar at a party thrown by Madonna – here’s another fine girl who wastes her vaginal juices on bumping some weird characters from weird parts of the world, WTF?

True love that developed between most famous vagina in Hollywood and gayest choreographer in Bollywood during filming of Womanizer had Britney Spears fly to India to deliver her vagina right to the bed of said Sandip Soparrkar. I bet he keeps pink dinos under his blankets he’s so gay. The most disturbing shit is, that Britney Spears sneaked out of Hollywood to rub her pussy on gay’s face without anyone noticing. They were bumping it in India and no paparazzi had fucking clue where she was.

To make things funnier, Britney Spears calls her new boyfriend Sandy. She’s obviously the man in the relationship, she puts on one of strap-ons from Sandip Soparrkar’s collection and butt fucks the Indian till the content of his prostate explodes through his dick. Duh!

Actually, I don’t know for sure if they’re stoned out of their vaginas, but look at the pic.. That’s Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison, the stars from a big ass chick flick movie Twilight during movies UK Premiere. Don’t they look like they’ve just spent the evening puffing on a doobie and rubbing vaginas together? I’m sure Robert Pattison has a vagina. That being said, I wouldn’t be surprised if Kristen Stewart had a penis. Kristen looks pretty hot stoned though.

Or maybe it’s my pot that clouds my sight so I see all hot bitches as stoned. Too many Cuban cigars I had in Cuba, the smoke still keeps me afloat. And I did go to see Twilight. I actually liked it. Even though I feel that if there is one more chick flick that I like, I should grow a vagina. Maybe Robert Pattison can lend me his. Unless Kristen Stewart rubbed the crap out of it so it’s all worn and overused.

I’m so awesome. As I was typing the title in, I made a little typo and it resulted in “Hank Baskett – Pics of a Stud Who Pasted Kendra Wilkinson Pussy”. I’m not sure how one can “paste” a pussy but maybe it has something to do with pasting herself on face of Hugh Hefner which Kendra Wilkinson surely has sufficient experience with.

Hank Baskett… that’s right. The stud he stole Kendra Wilkinson’s pussy right of Hugh Hefner’s face and pasted her on his dick. I wander if these guys play sports together. I can imagine it going something like this:

Kendra Wilkinson takes her panties off, lays on her back, hips high up, vagina spread wide open. Hank Baskett makes a run for it with a football, makes a throw aiming for vagina. If the ball goes all the way to the vagina, he gets 1 point, if it goes in sideways, he gets 2 point, if it goes all the way in the ass, that’s a score of 3 points. There are extra bloody points if he scores during her period…

All right. That’s enough for a Friday morning juicy visual. Pics of Hank Baskett below. Oh, and I forgot to add. Kendra Wilkinson gets points by batting the ball off with her clitoris.

They say it’s official. The naughty penis of Dr. Travis Stork has enjoyed the pleasures of rubbing the insides of lusty vagina of Carrie Underwood. The 2006 Bachelor and The Doctors co-host Dr. Travis Stork is reportedly dating American Idol winner and popular country singer Carrie Underwood. I can totally hear the genitals flapping as I wrote about it. These two must do wild things in bed.

36 year old Travis Stork had its run at The Bachelor and picked Sarah Stone who proved to have incompatible genitalia. Her pussy juices did not match the PH of Travis Stork’s Naughty Penis so their romance was over before The Bachelor came to a close. They say the weekend in Paris was bad ass, though. I doubt any mention worthy genital juices exchange took part though.

Carrie Underwood won season 4 of American Idol and she’s been just growing in popularity since. Her award collection now contains Teen Choice Award and Billboard Music Awards and Country Music Awards and Academy of Country Music Awards and God knows what else. Simply put, she knows how to suck cock and probably sing too.

Carrie Underwood’s vaginal powers are now subject to routine medical scrutiny under supervision of Dr. Travis Stork himself. My unnamed sources say she can… wait, that’s too juicy for this site! If they go on, the stork is gonna deliver children… Get it? The stork

Samantha Ronson looks good in Bikini. She actually has boobies. Lindsay Lohan – obviously sporting boobage of much larger size, but Samantha sports vagina that connects to big ass muscles that Lindsay lohan can’t touch. I mean “can’t match” cause she touches it every night… quite possibly double fisting from behind. Vagina of this size needs proper inner massage. Double fisting strenghtens every lesbian bond. If these two continue like fisting each other like that, this lesbian love will last forever.

Hollywood most talked about lesbian couple – Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan took off to Mexico to show their hot lezzie bodies in bikini. And I got to admit I like the way Samantha looks. I’m a fan of smaller boobies (yes, Lindsay Lohan has tits too big) plus it looks like Samantha Ronson has cute little feet unlike Lindsay who seems to have a six toe (gross). But I might be wrong.

This actually makes Samantha Ronson a perfect woman. Consider this:

- Cute perky little titties
- Cute little feet
- Giant vagina
- British accent

Damn, I could ejaculate by just reading after myself. This ho is hot. She surely takes good spanking too. I should have been a lesbian

For more pictures click on –> Samantha Ronson Bikini Pics with Lindsay Lohan in Cabo

Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan Bikini pics Credit: Bauer Griffin