Beer Steak Bullshit

Dear Jesus, what pathetic joke this is. I mean it. Scarlett Johansson should be banned from singing for eternity. This is the first time I’ve heard her sing and I don’t recall last time I’ve heard anyone suck so bad as a singer. She should stick with acting and forever forget about singing.

Falling Down is Scarlett’s latest music video and I don’t know what the producers and co musicians were singing. If you can play an instrument, you obviously understand music samewhat. They must have suffered during rehearsals and recording, but just squeezed their tight assholes and put up with it, because it’s the infamous Scarlett Johansson that’s singing. And as it goes with ass kissers, they’re just following her around and nobody has the guts to tell her that she can’t sing worth shit. OMG though.

It’s only good she still looks half decent, cause she sucks donkies as a singer.

There were rumors few weeks ago throughout internet communities that there is a drug tape of Angelina Jolie doing heroin from the 90’s. Faceless owner of the tape was allegedly offering to sell it for $70,000

British daily The Sun stepped on the scene today and posted a video from 1999 in which Angelina Jolie appears smoking – SHOCKING! – cigarettes. There is another girl in the video who does smoke heroin, but Angelina Jolie is behaving and smoking only the legal stuff. Now that’s disturbing. Was this the video everyone was talking about last month? Lame!

The 7 minutes long video contains some philosophical debates that were giving me headaches. I think at some point during the video she talks about trying to kill a snake once and dying her hamster blue who then died because of that.

Obnoxious dude behind camera asks something about twisting nipples and Angie somewhat rolls her eyes but remains calm. That part, which is right at the beginning of the video kind of made it for me, but otherwise it’s the most boring drug video ever. If this is what all the fuss was all about, then I’m just going to laugh and then cry in the corner. Heroin drug tape with Angelina Jolie my ass.

Source: The Sun

Remember Tatu? Two gorgeous Russian wannabe lesbians Lena Katina and Yulia Volkova? Well, they have grown up a little and are not as cute as they once were, but they’re still some of the hottest flesh in music industry and worth every second watching.

Tatu have just released new video title White Robe and while musically it seriously sucks, the video itself will make it worth your while. Both of the girls take their clothes off and show themselves naked. Whoa… and it’s not been taken down by YouTube admin’s yet. Watch before their limp dicks remove it again. The above is the original uncensored version of White Robe.

Yulia Volkova – the brunette who is currently knocked up (fuck that shit) takes the white robe off in front of a mirror as she brushes her teeth and then jumps in the shower. Lena Katina – the redhead, lays on the bed and undoes her garter belt to take off sexy red stockings, bra and panties until she’s there fully naked. And the camera pans over her naked body offering clear view of those fine shaped boobs and light colored nipples. How can you not like that video. This type of stuff was long over due. You fake lesbians should have shown some skin in your videos long time ago. Now let me go and rub one off.

New Kids on the Block were on Today show in the morning performing for a crowd of screaming, hair tearing, and underwear not wearing cougars. Those are some dedicated fans, because it was raining on their heads yet they still contributed to the gayness with their high pitch voices. Swallowing loads of cum makes your voice high pitched. It’s true

Grandpas on the stage were not any better. It was raining on their heads too, so I’m just gonna blame their disoriented oral performance on the air. Those guys should suck each other more. Have I not just stated that swallowing loads of cum makes your voice high pitched? Maybe it also gets it in tune.

This is a pretty intense video of an earthquake in Sichuan, China captured by a security camera. There is no sound, which only adds to mysticism and scare factor of the disaster. You kind of never know if and when the building is going to collapse. But if you look at the video again, you will notice that the quake was going on for a minute and 20 seconds. That’s one long earthquake. Most don’t take that long. And it wasn’t weak either – 7.8 on Richter magnitude scale and seemed to have gotten stronger towards the end. Imagine the shit feeling if you’re one of outside window cleaners on top of a skyscraper or a surgeon in the middle of operation…

As you know, Chinese province Sichuan suffered from a massive earthquake, Chinese biggest earthquake in 30 years. Final death toll is not yet known, but it is expected to be as high as 50 000 people. United nations predict there could be as many as 100 000 dead.

It is funny to watch how some people react when something serious happens, something that they did not expect – such as an earthquake. Some people ran for their lives while the other lady made sure she picked up her keys first. Everybody left poor fishes in the bowl, though. They must have gone through shit loads of stress. They could probably feel that the Earthquake is coming through their wicked animal instincts. That is of course unless their owners feed them junk food, which dumbs everyone down.

I kind of expected it and I have to admit I’m happy. Syesha Mercado has the most irritating voice and overall sounds too creepy. Now she’s bye bye from American Idol and there are last two contestants left – American’s favorite gay couple – David Archuleta and David Cook. One of them gays will become the American Idol. Grrrrr

David Archuleta probably got few extra million votes out of plain sympathy. If it was him who got eliminated tonight, his daddy would beat the shit out of him. He’s totally going to win. I don’t care anymore at all. Any gay is better than Syesha Mercado. She’s just plain…….. I’d fuck her though.

That’s right. Jason Castro, The only contestant on American Idol that I could actually stand (I didn’t like him, but I could stand him) was eliminated today. That means we have Syesha Mercado, David Cook and David Archuleta left as top 3 of American Idol. The video of Jason’s elimination is above. At least he didn’t whine like those bitches in previous editions who burst into tears and go wahh, wahh like they’re hired to create emotions. Jason Castro for president!

Ryan Seacrest mentioned that almost 51 million votes have been cast to decide which one of top four contestants will not make it to top three. And America decided that it will be the dread locked one. His final performance kind of showed where he had the entire masquerade – up his bong. He could end up like Chris Daughtry – not winning the idol, but being actually the only one to make it in music.

Syesha was given one more week of hope before she proves to everyone that she can’t be next American Idol.

All right, this is NBA player Kobe Bryant pulling off an insane stunt by jumping over a running car. He clears is smooth and it looks awesome, but I have some serious doubt about the authenticity of this video.

When you pause it and play frame by frame, it appears as though Kobe Bryant is closer to the camera than the car, but the way camera is positioned makes it look in line. This same effect was used throughout the Lord of the Rings to make hobbits looks smaller. I think the car was passing safely by the side of Kobe and he only made half the jump he needed in order to make it look like he cleared the car.

I also don’t think the Lakers would allow him to attempt crazy stunts where he could endanger his health and possibly performance during the rest of the NBA season. I’m not an expert, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a clause in his multi million dollar contract that prohibits him from performing reckless acts during his spare time which could cause harm to his body and paralyze him from playing for the team. Plus if something happened to him, he would danger his million dollar salary and who would do that?

One thing is for sure – first fan of Lakers sees it and is gonna try that shit at home. Dumbasses.

TMZ has a video of ugliest celebrity in North America – Shauna Sand in which she publically acknowledges that she thinks John McCain would make a good president and that she’s absolutely going to vote for him. John McCain gets full support from her. I just wish she wasn’t that fugly, ewwww.

In all her divine grossness, Shauna Sand was shivering because she spent previous days cooking her silicone boobs in Miami and they didn’t retain the heat. Her stuffed lips failed to keep her warm too. I’m just gonna cut it short right here. Shauna Sand is plain and simple ridiculously fugly. She’s so gross i can’t even talk about it anymore without feeling the need to puke. Off my head now. I said now, motherfucker…

Is this an April Fools Joke or what? No folks, this is real. This is an actual BBC video recording. I myself had a hands on experience with Flying Penguins when they attacked and completely destroyed my entire flock of flying pigs. Have a happy All Fools Day, mofos