Laura Louie is not a new ho in Woody Harrelson‘s life. The two have been together for 20 years and have three kids – Denni Montana, 15, Zoe Giordano, 12 and Makani Ravello. But it was only after 20 whole years that Woody Harrelson and Laura Louie sealed their relationship in a holy matrimony and got married. The wedding took place in Maui, Hawaii with just a small group of friends and family. Alanis Morissette graced their wedding ceremony with her singing in presence of a few Hollywood stars, including Sean Penn, Willie Nelson and Owen Wilson. So Laura Louie is a wifey now. Afterall she’s 43 year old – just about time for marriage certificate.

Laura Louie met with Woody Harrelson in 1987. She was his personal assistant at the time while he was working on a TV show Cheers and they’ve been together as a couple since. They both now live in Maui, Hawaii as part of 200 member sustainable community. That’s absolutely awesome. They are both fans of yoga and run a website focused on increasing awareness and protesting against air soil and water pollution. Laura Louie also co-owns organic food delivery company Yoganics.

Sounds like Laura Louie and Woody Harrelson found great purpose on Earth and are gonna live happy and healthy lives. I’m totally envious.

Laura Louie and Woody Harrelson photo credit: WENN

Amy Fisher Sex Tape that goes by the name Amy Fisher Caught on Tape is old news. Red Light district has been distributing Amy Fisher Sex Tape since October of 2007 and those who would want to see the most famous teen murderer having sex with husband Lou Bellera can go directly to the source: watch Amy Fisher Sex Tape HERE.

Amy Fisher who’s been known as Long Island Lolita after she committed the crime of love. Poor girl fell in love with Joey Buttafuoco when she was a 16 year old kid and to live a long and happy life with the man of his dreams, she picked up a gun and shot his wife Mary Jo Buttafuoco in the face. BTW, Joey Buttafuoco has a sex tape too and it’s also distributed by Red Light District. If you so desire to see an old man bumping his wife Evanka, check out Joey Buttafuoco Caught On Tape HERE!

That’s a whole lotta sex tape for the end of year. None of these sex tapes are new. However Amy Fisher has been very sneaky and smart promoting hers and so she does once more – it seems. When first news of Amy Fisher Sex Tape leaked to the media, Amy played a big victim of conspiracy against her only to cheer with Red Light People over drinks few days later. No doubt she pulled a publicity stunt by dragging attention of media onto herself – she just followed the pattern that never fails and reported that she was gonna sue Red Light revenue for publishing her sex tape.

It looks like the waters have calmed and Amy Fisher Sex Tape no longer is a hot commodity so here she comes with a publicity stunt again. Anyway, if you haven’t seen it – check it out. It’s good shit, real home made porno. That way I won’t feel like I’m the only one who jerked off to Long Island Lolita. You know where to go, the links are above. Amy Fisher Sex Tape still going strong.

By bumping her coochie pie with Sandip Soparrkar, Britney Spears has officially reached a whole new bottom. WTF is she thinking? Why does she hook up with all those weird characters from Middle East and South West Asia? Plus look at that guy Sandip Soparrkar. He’s got “GAY” written all over his face. Are there not enough straight guys in the world for girls to hook yo with? I mean “HELLO”… I’m right here, have no pussy to stick my dick into and Britney Spears flies to India to spread her vagina for a gay loon? That’s fucking disturbing.

Sandip Soparrkar is a choreographer from Bollywood who put together Britney Spears’ Womanizer video. Sources say that Britney Spears met Sandip Soparrkar at a party thrown by Madonna – here’s another fine girl who wastes her vaginal juices on bumping some weird characters from weird parts of the world, WTF?

True love that developed between most famous vagina in Hollywood and gayest choreographer in Bollywood during filming of Womanizer had Britney Spears fly to India to deliver her vagina right to the bed of said Sandip Soparrkar. I bet he keeps pink dinos under his blankets he’s so gay. The most disturbing shit is, that Britney Spears sneaked out of Hollywood to rub her pussy on gay’s face without anyone noticing. They were bumping it in India and no paparazzi had fucking clue where she was.

To make things funnier, Britney Spears calls her new boyfriend Sandy. She’s obviously the man in the relationship, she puts on one of strap-ons from Sandip Soparrkar’s collection and butt fucks the Indian till the content of his prostate explodes through his dick. Duh!

Behold! New Palin’s blood entered this world. Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, kid of 18 year old Bristol Palin and her boyfriend Levi Johnston has been spawned upon this Earth. I’m having hard time deciding who gave stupider name to their kid. Whether Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz who named their kid Bronx Mowgli or whether Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston with that Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston shit. Sarah Palin must be proud. Sherry Johnston is probably even prouder.

Bristol Palin let her vagina fart out Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston in Palmer, Alaska yesterday. Everyone was silent about it, but then sister of Sarah Palin, that attention whore spilled the bean. She also said they’d named the son Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston. I know Bristol Palin was due any time, but who knows if that attention whore knows what she’s talking about…

Speaking of weird names – The Palins are notorious for naming their kids with all those bonus names – aside from Bristol they have Track, Willow, Piper and Trig. Now they can add Tripp to the collection. What a family!

Even though I hate kids with a passion, I’ll be polite and welcome Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston to planet Earth. Enjoy your stay, little one. You came out of Bristol Palin’s vagina. You were this close to being a vice president’s grand son. Now you’re just some Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston.

This 24 year old ho Melissa Berry got all feisty and shit cause her ex-boyfriend Mark Dawson posted her naked pics on MySpace. First of all – ewww – Damn this Melissa Berry has an ugly pair of fake boobs mounted on her. No wander Mark Dawson the douche is an ex-boyfriend. I mean the ho would work fine for morning after when booze is oozing out of my ears and I need to puke. I’d just look at Melissa Berry’s fake tits and I’d throw up – problem solved. But I don’t get plastered every day. What’s the use for those ugly, vomit inducers then?

Melissa Berry is a lingerie football league player for Tampa Bay Breeze. Damn, that’s different. I didn’t know there was such thing as lingerie football league. How fucking useless. Make it naked or GTFO. Seriously, who wants to watch ugly whores with fake boobs prounce around in lingerie. Get a fucking life people. Stripping dodgeball – that’s the shit. Lingerie football can suck my left nut.

And obviously Melissa Berry doesn’t get that shit either. She got her tits faked out to gross everybody out and gets all pissy when her gay boyfriend posts nude pick on MySpace. The silicone must have gone toxic cause Melissa Berry is suing gay’s ass for publishing those nude pics. Internet users should sue Mark Dawson too for screwing their day by making them look at those gross fake tits naked. Ewww, that’s one disgusting visual right there.

Angry people of Russia voted Alexander Nevskythe greatest Russian of all time in a Rossiya state television poll titled “Name of Russia”.

Alexander Nevsky is a Saint. He was a Prince of Novgorod in the 1200s and is remembered among Russians for his victories over Swedes and Teutonic knights who were making advanced on Russia. 300 years later, Alexander Nevsky was canonized by the Russian Orthodox Church as a saint.

Oddly enough, 50 million Russian voters who participated in the poll voted dictator Josef Stalin third most popular historical figure. During Stalin’s 30 year rule, millions of Russians who opposed his policies either disappeared or were forced into hard labor in Gulags.

Congrats to Alexander Nevsky for being the greatest bad ass Russian of all time.

The blasphemy, the nerve… Robert Pattinson Cut his Hair – what are all those 11 year old chick going to rub their mini clits to now? Robert Pattinson’s signature hair made pussies of pre teen girls dribble with passion and made Summit Entertainment shit loads of money despite poor execution, terrible special effects and pathetic acting. Still, because of Robert Pattinson’s hair, the titty-less little girls were getting their pink panties wet and paid to see Twilight 20+ times each. Now the hair is gone. Robert Pattinson cut his hair – what are they gonna masturbate to? The blasphemy!

Some speculate that production of Twilight sequel New Moon is in danger due to Robert Pattinson’s new haircut. I don’t understand what the fuss is all about – the shit will grow back, bitches. Put your panties back on and enjoy damn Christmas, skanks. You’re just 11 anyway. Shouldn’t you be watching movies with Red Nosed Reindeer instead? Or it simply pisses you off that your pre-school classmates saw Twilight more times than you? Fuck that.

Production of New Moon is not scheduled to start until March of 2009. I’m sure Robert Pattinson will have his original hair back by then. He probably cut it cause it was a pain in the butt. Maybe his boyfriend was getting all pissed as it was getting in his face when he was bumping his pie hole upright in public washroom.

One more pic of Robert Pattinson and his new haircut is below.

Robert Pattinson Cut his Hair Pic

Meet Paloma Jimenez, some ho who sucks Vin Diesel’s cock. He must have liked it. Cause he boned the fuck out of her, sprayed his semen all over her vagina, made her preggo and a brat was born. That was back in April of 2008. Vin Diesel didn’t go too public with it all, or maybe he was just too budy boning this ho and didn’t have time to let everyone know.

Paloma Jimenez is a 24 year old originally from Acapulco, Mexico. She’s a model – not sure what her modeling career was like prior to taking Vin Diesel’s dick up the ass, but I’m sure it was a positive boost once she sucked on famous penis. Vin Diesel is 40.

According to some portals that know more than I do, Paloma Jimenez appeared in high profile some commercials for Honda and Coca Cola. What they fail to mention is whether she got those gigs prior to getting boned by Vin Diesel or after. Maxim magazine (they still exist) had Paloma Jimenez on a cover in January 2005. Nobody knows how long Vin Diesel and Paloma Jimenez have been bumping genital pies for hence no one can tell what contributed to her career.

Below are some more pics of Paloma Jimenez

Do you remember back in August of 2008 when Snakehead Fish wreaked havoc in New York rivers and had to be eliminated by force before they eliminated other native fish? Well, major mainstream media are putting together the list of most significant events of 2008 and guess what – Snakehead Fish are famous, they’re on the list. Snakehead Fish deserve to dominate that damn list. 2008 should forever be remembered as the year of Snakehead Fish.

Aside from New York, Snakehead Fish also took over the rivers in Arkansas in 2008. That was back in April and Piney Creek in Lee County had to be rescued by the biologists who declared war on Snakehead Fish. The final score – obviously – is in favor of biologists, Snakehead Fish lost, but do not underestimate the power of this Asian native species. Snakehead Fish are already on the most bad ass list. That’s the way it starts and before you know it, Snakehead Fish will rule the world. Every smart man will join them cause there will be no beating them. Planet Earth will become a fish planet. The fish will breed humans for food. How awesome. Leave it up to Snakehead Fish – there will be no global warming no more and the ozone hole will patch itself. Sweet!

Awesome Snakehead Fish photo by Associated Press (AP)

Another one bites the dust… on Christmas. John Costelloe, who played Johnny Cakes, little fireman fag who dick massaged prostate of big capo in The Sopranos committed suicide in the basement of his Sunset Park home.

47 year old John Costelloe was a FDNY firefighter who got his break through role in the 2006 HBO series The Sopranos as Jim “Johnny Cakes” Witowski ran a bullet though his head on December 16.

Must have been tough for him to deal with an easy income from acting. Nice Christmas present for your family and friends, John Costelloe. Even a broke loser like me who spends his Christmas by himself cause I suck like that has enough balls to live on. Merry Christmas to you…