Romanian tennis star Simona Halep who sports 34DD tits is going for breast reduction because her melons are getting in the way when she’s playing tennis. In a recent interview with British The Sun, 17 year old Simona Halep said:

This fall I’ll have a breast reduction operation. The breasts make me uncomfortable when I play. It’s the weight that troubles me – my ability to react quickly.

I could not be in any more support of this breast surgery. First of all – anything more than a handful is a waste and secondly – if her tits are this big now that she’s 17, they’re gonna sag and drag along the road as she walks once she’s 27. Besides, we live in the 21st century. The time of ugly, big breasted women of the 60′s are over. We have internet now and know that real men prefer smaller breasts. You’re not only going to be able to play tennis better, , you will also look better. Get rid of that tumor on your chest. There are only advantages to it.

I have long been the supporter of smaller breasts and perhaps now that Simona Halep is going for breast reduction it will open up the eyes of many women who are considering plastic surgery to have their breasts enlarged – nobody cares for big tits. The only breast surgery that makes sense is breast reduction. Whether you do it for reasons similar to Simona Halep – aka to be able to perform in your profession better, or whether you do it to look better and to appeal to wider range of men, breast reduction should be the only plastic surgery any woman gets done on their chest.

Simona Halep – lead the way. Show women that having breast reduction can make them more successful and hotter looking. I’m looking forward to the “after pic” of hotter you. In the meantime, let’s take a look at “before pics”. Yeah, tits too big!

…and a video of Simona Halep playing tennis with those giant boobs grossly bouncing up and down:

PS – I’m on vacation in Iceland until June 10th. There may be no updates until I have returned to good ole Canada.

There is plain and simple too much pressure on Susan Boyle. Susan is literally Boyle-ing over and it’s starting to take its toll. Within the span of last week, the most popular Scottish woman exploded in a series of fuck filled tirades, dropping F-Bombs here and there in outbursts of rage. Susan needs to get herself a publicist who would cover out for her flip outs and make it look like she’s a victim, because she really is, in this case. Unlike seasoned celebrities who are simply too spoiled and like the spotlight, Susan Boyle’s world has turned upside down overnight. No one could handle that with grace.

The pressure escalated yesterday when couple of punks decided to poke fun at Susan Boyle while she was in the lobby of North London’s Wembley Plaza Hotel. Susan flipped out and yelled: “How fucking dare you! You can’t fucking talk to me like that.” The police were present and intervened by asking Susan if there was a problem. Susan responded with style by saying: “Of course there’s a fucking problem.”

Reports from Britain also say that Susan Boyle flipped out in another fuck filled tirade as she was watching Britain’s Got Talent and judge Piers Morgan gave praise to fellow Britain’s Got Talent contestant Shaheen Jafargholi, calling it the best pound for pound singing performance. Susan watched it in the lobby of a hotel with other people present, flipped the fuck out, dropped the F-Bomb, did a hip wiggle, took a U-Turn and darted off.

Susan Boyle became the most popular person on the internet for a few days. The video of her audition to Britain’s Got Talent remains the most watched video on YouTube. At 48, this is all she could ever wish for. She can taste fame, she can taste popularity, she’s got it all within reach but there are still obstacles, it seems. There are other talented people, there are also people who (for whatever reason) may not like her or her singing and that puts way too much pressure on her. She knows she must win Britain’s Got Talent. She can’t otherwise. but that forces her to feel stressed out and that’s why her second round (semifinals) performance wasn’t as flawless as her audition.

Susan Boyle definitely has talent and deserves to win Britain’s Got Talent and embark on a path to being a famous singer, just the way Elaine Paige, her idol is. But so much depends on it, she’s stressed out and under pressure she’s never known. It results in not so stellar singing and flip outs with frequent F-Bombs. Mind you, F-Bombs in Scottish must sound pretty hot. If I married Susan Boyle, I’d ask her to unleash the most ruthless fuck tirade with the rawest Scottish accent she can pull off while I’m pounding her doggy style. Good times.

I could never understand the fuss around Adriana Lima. The ho looks too plastic to me. Some people even used to go as far as calling her “the sexiest woman in the world” – that would have been sad world if that were true. Everybody knows that the sexiest woman in the world is Susan Boyle. Adriana Lima has got nothing on Susan, but let’s not talk glamour in a post about fug spawn. Marko Jaric shoved him man penis into Adriana Lima’s vagina and let the content of his testicules erupt releasing an avalanche of hot semen right into the woman’s womb. How’s Adriana Lima attractive now? Did you picture her with Marko Jaric’s sperm oozing out of her worn out vagina? There was so much semen deposited inside her womb that it forced its way through ass membranes and some even leaked out of her ass. That would have been a newly discovered phenomenon called “anal creampie without anal sex”. I’m sure Adriana Lima doesn’t take Marko Jaric’s cock in the ass. Plastic Barbie dolls don’t do anal. You need a real woman to experience real sex.

The sperm of Marko Jaric left panty creamer Adriana Lima pregnant. Basketball player Marko Jaric married Adriana Lima on this year’s Valentine’s Day. I’d laugh my ass off if the baby was born with silly pubestache like the one Marko Jaric is sporting under his crossed eyes.

I’m glad someone put Rashad Evans in place. Lyoto Machida took on the chellenge of sorting Rashad Evans out and he did not disappoint. The Lyoto Machida vs Rashad Evans fight was part of UFC 98 which took place on May 23, 2009 at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas. And as you can see form the video below, Lyoto Machida knocked Rashad Evans right the eff out of this galaxy. Nice ownage.

The Dragon Lyoto Machida secured himself a title of the light-heavy weight champion and his scorecard shows an amazing 15-0. I can’t think of any other light-heavyweight who could beat him. Lyoto Machida is the poop but the best thing is how insanely he owned Rashad Evans.

Watch the Lyoto Machida vs Rashad Evans UFC 98 Knockout Video below:

Bacon flavored Vodka is the new pink. That’s right, as if Vodka by itself wasn’t gross enough, now your favorite headache inducer comes in flavors of bacon. Bakon Vodka, the Vodka makers as well as Black Rock Spirits, the investor group behind Bakon Vodka – are seeing growing interest in their bacon flavored Vodka and the sales have been soaring.

Each time I think I have seen it all, along comes someone who proves at the whim of their dick that I ain’t seen nothing yet. Humans are gullible and I am inspired. If people are eager enough to buy bacon flavored Vodka and let Bakon Vodka cash in on it big time, I should enter the market with something even more engaging and make my first billion dollars – Pussy flavored Vodka. I’m telling ya, bacon ain’t nothing. Add some tuna to the mix and you got it rolling. I’ll be laughing on my way to the bank after half the world starts buying my pussy flavored Vodka. And when the market gets stagnant, I’ll introduce dick flavored Vodka for the ever increasing gay population and fine, lonely ladies.

And because I’m such a marketing genius, I will also offer gift sets with extras:

• Aged Pussy Flavored Vodka with Complimentary Pubic Hair – $100
• Aged Dick Flavored Vodka with Complimentary Smegma – $150

Aren’t I a genius? Here’s to wealth. May the stinkiest Vodka win.

Susan Boyle stepped on the stage of Britain’s Got Talent for the second time to follow up on undisputed success her first performance delivered. Second round video shows Susan Boyle having shaky start missing several notes but she soon caught on and then it was stellar. Even though she stated that she was not nervous at all, she must have been. There was tremendous pressure on her shoulders after having become such a massive celebrity overnight. To absolutely nobody’s surprise, Susan Boyle won the semi finals. People clearly realized that despite the “cool cat” surface, there’s a lot of pressure underneath which affected the singing a little, and gave Susan Boyle their semi final vote.

I didn’t think the choice of song – Memory from musical Cats was very good. It’s an approved song that everybody knows which can be a good thing or a bad thing. In this case I think it was a bad thing. Her performance of I Dreamed a Dream had much bigger impact because it is not as well known a song, yet it’s equally powerful. I think Susan Boyle is too focused on being a Elaine Paige copycat and sings every song Elaine does. Susan needs to start being herself and forget about Elaine Paige. She can sweep her off the table with the back of her hand, but must start pacing her own way.

Be the judge yourself. Was the second round performance of Susan Boyle disappointing? Did you expect more? Yes, everyone thought Susan Boyle was perfect. She proved to us that she’s human just as everybody else is. Blackburn in Scotland is not second Vatican yet. But even through imperfections, Susan Boyle is an amazing singer and her semi finals singing is the proof of that. Albeit, not the beginning of it. Video is below:

Source (including image): Daily Mail UK

Today’s hall of famer’s name is… Lai Jiansheng – 66 year old retired soldier who got fed up with indecisive suicidal man and solved his dilemma in style. This is what went down on Thursday May 21, 2009 in China: Lai Jiansheng was on his way to do some personal shit but got stuck in a major traffic jam on Haizhu Bridge in Guangzhou. He went out to find out what the hell was keeping him away from moving on and was told that there’s a guy by the name of Chen Fuchao contemplating suicide. Chen Fuchao has been up there for 5 hours and the police had the Haizhu bridge shut off and looking for the way to help suicidal man out. But Lai Jiansheng was not having any of that cheap crap.

66 year old grandpa Lai Jiansheng climbed up the construction of the bridge, reached Chen Fuchao, shook hands with him and pushed him off the bridge ultimately solving his “to jump or not to jump” dilemma. Grandpa Lai Jiansheng but have watched The Good, The Bad and The Ugly – especially the “When you have to shoot… shoot! Don’t talk!” part with Tuco and passed it on to Chen Fuchao in a little altered form – “When you have to jump… jump! Don’t don’t keep the traffic stuck for 5 hours!” See video reminder below.

After Lai Jiansheng pushed him off the bridge, Chen Fuchao fell 8 meters and landed on a partially inflated air cushion surviving the fall. He’s recovering in the hospital and claims that debt worries were the reason behind his suicide tendencies. While still on the Haizhu bridge, Lai Jiansheng waved at other by passers (that’s when photo above was captured – copyright AP) and climbed down. He was taken to police custody and said that he was fed up with Chen Fuchao’s selfish activity.

According to the police, Chen Fuchao was 2 Million yuan in debt (equivalent to $293,000 US) after his construction project failed. Now he’s gonna be pretty mad at Lai Jiansheng cause he’s alive which means he’ll have to pay off his debts. On the other hand, the bank that loaned Chen Fuchao money or the insurance company which would have to shell out if he went poof will surely appreciate Lai Jiansheng for saving them from losing 2 Million yuan. 66 year old grandma should be getting an appreciation check in the mail soon.

…and an actual video recording of Lai Jiansheng gracefully ending the suicide contemplation of Chen Fuchao:

Here’s an amazing vacation tip for the crazies (I’m looking into making it next year) – Boryeong Mud Festival in South Korea. It’s like jello wrestling with hot girls, only you’ll also get skin treatment with fine mud therapy. Boryeong Mud Festival attracts over 30,000 visitors from all over the world each year, lasts for 9 days and promises endless fun and excitement. I mean – forget about the carnival in Rio de Janeiro, go to Boryeong Mud Festival instead and make it a feast for your hands and the rest of your body, not just your eyes. When you enter the mud ring, there’ll be a lot of mud-touching, mud-couple-sliding, mud-skiing, mud-massaging, mud-bathing, mud-footballing, etc… it’s a hands on festival and as such is Beer Steak Bullshit approved.

The mud that people at Boryeong Mud Festival bathe in is rich in Germanium and other minerals known for their skin revitalizing properties. The festival was originally started with intentions to promote cosmetics manufactured from local mud but the popularity of the festival skyrocketed right primarily because of intense fun that all the mud activities involve.

If you’re able to take a last minute trip and catch Boryeong Mud Festival this year, the dates of the festival are July 12 – July 20, 2009. Boryeong City is located in South Korean Chungcheongnam-do province where the festivities are held on the Daecheon Beach. See you in South Korea in 2010 and check out the video from last year’s Boryeong Mud Festival below:

Are you ready to see the worst video of your life? Major American Idol failure by the name of Katrina Darrell who became known as the Bikini Girl after she auditioned for American idol in the bikini returned on the stage of American Idol to torture people’s eardrums some more, but this time she added another torturous element so not only your ears suffer, but also your eyes – fake tits. Ho must have got popular or something cause she decided to swap her boobs with a pair of nasty silicone bags. Not ever Ryan Seacrest was impressed with her fake tits. but then again – he’s just not impressed with tits in general. He dreams of cock. Katrina ‘Bikini Girl’ Darrell should have got her voice fixed instead of her tits cause that’s just as painful as it was before.

As Katrina ‘Bikini Girl’ Darrell started with her painful performance, she was joined on stage by American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi who kind of proved her point that she can sing better than Katrina Darrell. Kara even opened her robe at the end of performance to show her own bikini body which again – was hotter than Katrina Darrell’s. This was just not Katrina’s best day. She was humiliated beyond belief and hopefully sent back to where she belongs – a whore house.

The video of Katrina ‘Bikini Girl’ Darrell av Kara DioGuardi face off is below. I’m sure Mariah Carey whose song Vision of Love these two butchered is grasping a butcher knife watching this awfulness.

Bitsy is so tiny, she only weighs 1.5 pounds, stands 6.5 inches tall and measures 18 and 3/4 inches from tail to nose. Auriette Lindsey of Pensacola, Florida who’s the owner of Bitsy is trying to find out whether Bitsy could make it to the Guinness Book of World Records as the World’s Smallest Cat. People will never change. Exploiting poor animals for owner’s profit will always take priority.

Auriette Lindsey told WEAR-TV that she’s trying to get Bitsy in the Guinness Book of World Records as the World’s Smallest Cat, but their officials want to see the video and pictures of how the cat is measured to make sure they are no misrepresented figures. Auriette Lindsey insists that Bitsy was born of normal sized cat and the rest of the litter was normal sized as well.

Current holder of the World’s Smallest Cat lives in Louisiana and is heavier than Bitsy, but shorter. Guinness Book of World Records officials should declare who the World’s Smallest Cat in 6 weeks. Cute video with Bitsy is above.