Bakon Vodka Introduces Bacon Flavored Vodka

Bacon flavored Vodka is the new pink. That’s right, as if Vodka by itself wasn’t gross enough, now your favorite headache inducer comes in flavors of bacon. Bakon Vodka, the Vodka makers as well as Black Rock Spirits, the investor group behind Bakon Vodka – are seeing growing interest in their bacon flavored Vodka and the sales have been soaring.

Each time I think I have seen it all, along comes someone who proves at the whim of their dick that I ain’t seen nothing yet. Humans are gullible and I am inspired. If people are eager enough to buy bacon flavored Vodka and let Bakon Vodka cash in on it big time, I should enter the market with something even more engaging and make my first billion dollars – Pussy flavored Vodka. I’m telling ya, bacon ain’t nothing. Add some tuna to the mix and you got it rolling. I’ll be laughing on my way to the bank after half the world starts buying my pussy flavored Vodka. And when the market gets stagnant, I’ll introduce dick flavored Vodka for the ever increasing gay population and fine, lonely ladies.

And because I’m such a marketing genius, I will also offer gift sets with extras:

• Aged Pussy Flavored Vodka with Complimentary Pubic Hair – $100
• Aged Dick Flavored Vodka with Complimentary Smegma – $150

Aren’t I a genius? Here’s to wealth. May the stinkiest Vodka win.

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Further Reading:

• Warehouse Forklift Accident in Russia Destroys $250,000 Worth of Vodka
• Hilarious Video of Drunk Russian in His Epic Mission To Get Home

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