Watching a mammal perform autofellatio on himself makes chicks cream their pants. You’d think it’s guys who would cream themselves, but no… it’s girls. In this case it’s a mighty walrus who shows us his spectacular spinal flexibility and length of his penis that allow him to comfortably suck his own dick. Animals are awesome.
If walrus females are as useless at fellatio as human females, then I’m not surprise the male walrus population developed autofellatio skills. The golden age of blowjobs has long been over for us straight humans, but I’m hearing that the art of sucking dicks still exists among gay men population. Walruses can relate. They know what we as man go through given how useless women are these days so they look after their own sexual needs too. If I were a chick, I’d be ashamed.
The video of awesome walrus performing autofellatio at some sea world is below. Nevermind the girl who gets off to watching his do it off the camera. The guy who videotaped it (let’s presume she was his girlfriend – I mean you wouldn’t take your sister to a sea world, would you) clearly had the same thoughts going through his head. Stupid ho thinks it’s funny when a male performs autofellatio. But what’s a straight guy do when females can’t suck worth shit nowadays?
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Remember when I told you that jellyfish are taking over the world? Well, I wasn’t kidding. As found out by Ben Southhall who has the Best Job in the World, jellyfish are plentiful and could sting you even if you go in the ocean just for a few seconds. Irukandji Jellyfish (Carukua Barnesi) which stung Ben Southhall is particularly dangerous and potentially lethal (deemed to be one of the most venomous creatures in the world, Irukandji Jellyfish are now spreading to other parts of the world due to global warming).
Ben Southall, British national who won the competition for “Best Job in the World” to act as caretaker on a beautiful Great Barrier Reef island in Australia, made a post on Island Caretaker Job blog about being stung by Irukandji Jellyfish as he was getting off the water ski. Irukandji Jellyfish are very tiny – just a size of a peanut which makes then near impossible to see. Ben Southhall never saw the Irukandji, he just felt a sting and as his health was deteriorating, he was taken to a doctor who took all precautions to relieve him off the Irukandji symptoms.
Ben Southhall will be OK, but keep in mind folks – the jellyfish are taking over the oceans. Watch out for Irukandji between October and May if you are in the Great Barrier Reef neighborhood. A sting from those could put you out for a long time, even forever.
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I’m the biggest animal lover in the world who would not normally laugh at any suffering or death of animals, unless it’s mosquitoes we’re talking about, but this video gave me the LULz nonetheless. It’s in some non English speaking country, perhaps The Netherlands. Students bought a present for their young and hot teacher – a pair of dwarf hamsters. When teachers walks in the class, they sing Happy Birthday To You in English and hand her the bag with live dwarf hamsters inside. Teacher freaks the crap out, drops the bag and instantly stomps poor hamsters without second guessing, depositing the bag in a garbage bin. She then ends the birthday joys and proceeds with lecture.
I don’t know whether this video is real or fake. I have the tendency to not believe anything I see on the internet. I would expect the teacher to feel the hamsters inside the bag as it was handed to her. They are lively little rats that move a lot so there would be something to feel as you grab a hold of the bag. And since of course the video was filmed from an angle at which you can’t see the stomping of the rats, it’s all left to our guessing. I go with fake, but funny all the same.
Let’s take a look at a few interesting jellyfish facts. Now, I know exactly what you’re thinking. You want to know why would I want to talk about jellyfish facts. To be honest, I’ve been really into this whole life below the surface of the sea lately and started working towards getting some scuba diving experience so I can get to know these sea creatures from up close and personal, in their own, native environment. Back to one of the most fascinating sea creatures, the jellyfish:
Jellyfish Fact #1: Jellyfish to Rule the Oceans
Because we the dumb humans keep overfishing the oceans, giant jellyfish such as the Echizen Jellyfish seen in picture above are taking over parts of the oceans, especially around South East Asia, The Gulf of Mexico, The Black Sea and The North Sea. Jellyfish strive because overfishing and climate change result in fewer fish in the seas giving more room to jellyfish to reproduce unhindered. It’s gotten far enough for researchers to believe that “jellyfish stable state”, a state in which jellyfish will rule the oceans is near.
Jellyfish Fact #2: Immortal Jellyfish
Yet another reason why numbers of jellyfish in the oceans seem to be growing rapidly as of late is the fact that certain species of jellyfish don’t have to die. Marine biologists discovered that Turritopsis Nutricula is the only animal known as hydrozoan, which means it can revert itself entirely to the state when it was young. This type of jellyfish somehow developed the ability to transdifferentiate. Transdifferentiation is the process of cell development in which the cell grows younger, not older. Scientists say that this jellyfish can repeat the process of transdifferentiation indefinitely which renders the creature potentially immortal. Observed Turritopsis Nutricula jellyfish, which are mere 5 millimetres long returned themselves repeatedly to a polyp state.
Jellyfish Fact #3: Jellyfish as Malaria and Dengue Fever Solution
While millions of dollars and years of research have been invested into a solution which could assist with desperate malaria and dengue fever infections situation in some parts of the world, so far there have been no help for endemic areas. Yet there is simple solution – white jellyfish love mosquito larvae. There is at least one biologists who sees that as a solution. Dr. Lisa Gershwin from Launceston in Australian Tasmania believes that Craspedacusta Sowerbyi, one of fresh water jellyfish which can strive in small bodies of water and loves mosquito larvae could easily turn into a natural mosquito eliminator. Since introduction of other mosquito predators, such as spiders or bats have not resulted in significant drop in mosquito infestations, perhaps attacking mosquito larvae with white jellyfish could yield better results.
Jellyfish Fact #4: Jellyfish Biology
Jellyfish Trivia: Did you know that jellyfish’s mouth and jellyfish’s anus are one and the same? It’s true. Jellyfish have one digestive cavity which serves the purpose of gullet, intestine and stomach all in one. What jellyfish eats goes in through the same opening as what jellyfish poops out. While jellyfish do have a mouth and an anus, they don’t have bones, brain or heart. 98% of jellyfish’s body is made of water. No wonder they near disappear when they are washed up on the shore.
More interestingly, jellyfish are radially symmetrical. That means if you could cut one jellyfish exactly in half, you would get two identical jellyfish halves.
Jellyfish Video
Check out this video by National Geographics (I love National Geographics) which will get you introduced to our #1 jellyfish fact – jellyfish invasion (warning – crazy Aussie accent in the video):
This male Panda calls a ZOO somewhere in China (I think) his home. His name is Tai Shan. One day Tai Shan was ready for his afternoon nap and started dozing off. And just as he was falling asleep, his body started to go limp and lean forward. When it started to look as though the Panda will make a face-plant, he stuck his head between his rear legs and rolled over. It was a perfectly executed roll over which woke Panda up who then stared at onlookers not understanding what the heck has just happened. Pandas are hilarious like that. They are not particularly known for smarts and this one was no different. Rolling over as he was falling asleep may not have been much fun for him, but since attentive photographer was around, we have cute picture of this incident.
Panda Falling Asleep Photo
Panda Falling On His Head Photo
Panda Fell on His Head Sleeping Photo
Panda Rolled Over Photo
Panda Trying to Regain Balance Photo
Panda Looking to Figure Out What the Heck Just Happened Photo
Panda Still Unsure Which Way the Ground Is Photo
Panda Fully Awake But Unsure What He's Doing There Photo
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It was big enough a surprise for me to find out that ducks have penises, but the fact that their penis is often longer than their entire body – that’s too much already. What do ducks need a monster penis of such dimensions for? Life’s not fair. The particular specimen of Argentine lake duck (Oxyura vittata) seen in picture above had a 42.5 cm long penis.
Only few male bird species have penises. Ducks belong among the few. Duck penis looks like a corkscrew and unfolds in chunks to reach the size of almost half a meter. The mind-blowing video below shows the process of an unfolding screw penis coming out of a duck. Duck ladies obviously have massive vaginas if their male counterparts sport a penis that’s this big. And why is it so twisted? Do they screw themselves into the lady duck? Duh!
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This amazing video of Eagle Owl in Flight was recorded to test and showcase the abilities of new Photron SA-2 High Definition and High Speed Camera. This camera recorded the Eagle Own in Flight at 1000 fps (frames per second – very high speed, allows for smooth slow motion footage) with 1920 x 1080 pixels resolution. While technical specs of an amazing video camera are likely impressive, what I am impressed with is the video itself and how it showcases this majestic bird in flight. Eagle Owls are awesome. Video was shot by SlowMo UK.
This cute timelapse video will answer the question that’s been on your mind forever – what do my cats do at home while I’m at work. The answer is in the video but let me spoil it for you – a big pile of nothing. They sleep, then sleep some more, then twitch and sleep on. Life of cats is this tough. Cute
Dolphins are the most bad ass animals. They always appear to smile and have skills that blow my mind. Did you know dolphins can sense when someone is pregnant, even if it’s a human and would protect such woman bearing a child as if she was bearing one of their own? Dolphins kick that much ass. In this video, a group of dolphins swim before the ship with some scientists and as there are jellyfish around, they casually send them afloat by smacking the crap out of them with their fins. Dolphins kicking jellyfish around like there’s no tomorrow. I love dolphins.
Remember the other day when Chupacabra was recorded by the police dash cam in Texas. Well, there’s another Chupacabra that resurfaced just now and guess what – this one’s from Texas too. They sure like their hairless unidentified animal creatures down there.
According to the legend, Chupacabra is a hairless four legged something that looks like a mix between a dog and a wolf. The Goatsucker, which is the meaning of word Chupacabra in native Spanish is also said to be nocturnal. It’s also sometimes referred to as the Mexican Bigfoot.
The picture and the video below are of the latest creature believed to be Chupacabra. Coming from Texas, this creature is being mummified (aka stuffed) by local taxidermist from Blanco Taxidermy School – Robert McDaniel. Texan Chupacabra was captured by Lynn Butler, former Blanco Taxidermy School student who set up a poison trap in his cousin’s yard after something was tearing the chickens up.
I sense another Bigfoot style sensation:
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