Quentin Tarantino is the shit. He was a guest judge on American Idol in 2004 and Simon Cowell co. has invited his awesomeness to guest judge the competition one more time. Considering that’s he’s a rather extravagant movie director, it is hard to believe he would have the clue as to how people sing, but he actually does. As reepy as it sounds, Quentin Tarantino is the tits on American Idol and he actually makes sense.

Below is the video montage from Quentin Tarantino’s old judging back at season three of American Idol. Even though he actually sounds like a real douche, he’s at the same time retaining thew charm that’s so typical for him and that’s really awesome. I think Quentin Tarantino is a decent choice for guest judging of American Idol. Makes watching that otherwise boring crap worth while.

Quentin Tarantino Photo by Francois Mori, AP Photo

Irreconcilable Differences – that’s got to be the most commonly used reason for divorce in Hollywood. This time it’s actor Mel Gibson whose wife Robyn Gibson has had enough of him filed for divorce and quote Irreconcilable Differences as reason. What better way to celebrate Easter than by getting your lawyer hand divorce papers to your significant other.

Mel Gibson divorce comes after 28 years of marriage to his wife Robyn. You’d think after 28 years as married couple they would bite the bullet and pull through the rest. Maybe it’s all different – maybe Robyn Gibson is a gold digger extraordinaire who was patiently waiting for 28 years cause she knows the settlement will be generous. Perhaps 28 years was worth it and all she could think of during that time was the chunk she was gonna get one day. She’d be a good wifey, blowing on Mel’s peen as he wished, cause she saw the fortune in the distance that would be all hers one day. That day is here. Let’s call it “The Easter Split of the Gibson’s”.

As it turns out, when Mel Gibson married Robyn, the two did not sign a prenup, hence according to the law of California, the Robyn Gibson will be entitled to half of Mel Gibson’s fortune. Damn, 28 years were worth it. Mel Gibson has been a big movie star and producer for 3 decades. His fortune is estimated at close to one billion. What a score for that gold digger. She can merrily quote Borat: “Success”!

The Mel Gibson divorce will likely involve the biggest divorce settlement in the history of Hollywood, but it will likely go smoothly and quietly. Mel has got more than enough to give away so both parties will end up with pockets full of cash. According to reports by TMZ who were the first to bring the news of Mel Gibson divorce, Robyn Gibson is also seeking spousal support, attorney fees and joint custody of their 10 year old son – the only of their 7 children who is still underage.

Johanna Cox is the latest addition to the ever sustaining family of gold diggers. As it turns out, Johanna Cox is the new girlfriend of Alec Baldwin.

I’m kind of surprised that Alec Baldwin still does movies. Apparently director Derick Martini thought Alec was worthwhile and gave him the role in the movie Lymelife. Wait – Alec Baldwin produced that movie… Nevermind, I take my previous statement back.

Before she hooked up with Alec Baldwin, Johanna Cox appeared on TV as contestant in the reality TV show Stylista. Since she kicked everyone’s ass, she ended up winning and was awarded a one year gig with Elle Magazine as a fashion editor. She’s presently still working for Elle as part of her Stylista victory.

Johanna Cox is 29 year old, Alec Baldwin is 51 year old. I’m sure there’s no gold digging involved, it’s pure love. Must be. Hope she understands the dos and don’ts of successful gold diggers. She wouldn’t want to end up like Sarah Larson. Until you are married to your big fish, you got to keep it low profile and suck it up the best you can. Your “sponsor” always does everything right and everything he says is right and said the best it can be said. Give best blowjobs in the world, always swallow and tell your sponsor how incredibly he makes you cum.

The reports are speculating that Johanna Cox is Alec Baldwin’s new girlfriend because Alec took her to the premiere of Lymelife in New York and the two seemed into each other. Congrats to Johanna Cox on scoring a big one. Her life all of a sudden starts to have the meaning.

Photo of Johanna Cox, the video of her in Stylista is below:

Jamie Waylett is best known for being the fatty bully Vincent Crabbe from the Harry Potter movies. In a string of unfortunate events, Jamie Waylett was busted for growing his own marijuana. That spoils the image of bully big time. Bullies don’t have brain capacity to grow their own weed. They drive pick up trucks, have small penises and talk about owning a gun. Potheads are cool. That only means that Jamie Waylett is a good actor. As marijuana grower he’s too cool, yet still he can pull off a role of a bully Vincent Crabbe in Harry Potter. Kudos, my friend!

Reports from Great Britain suggest that home of Jamie Waylett was busted by the police who found almost $3k worth of marijuana he’s been quietly growing himself. Jamie Waylett was apprehended by the police on April 2 as he was driving his Audi car (I told ya, he’s too cool to be a bully – dude grows his own weed and has good taste in cars). The police pulled him over because his behavior was suspicious. Personal search revealed that Harry Potter actor has eight bags of marijuana on him. Cops when raided his home where he lives with his mother and three siblings and seized 10 marijuana plants he was growing.

Because Jamie Waylett was found growing the drug, if convicted, he could be facing up to 14 years in jail. God fucking damn. 14 years in a choker for growing weed? Fuck me with a cork screw!

When the cops pulled Jamie Waylett over, he should have pulled out his magic wand and pull a magic spell at them screaming “Cannabis Maximus”

When Carrie Underwood got on stage at last night’s Academy of CMA 2009 – Country Music Awards in Las Vegas to perform her hit song “I Told You So”, everyone’s jaws dropped. It wasn’t her stunning performance, it was the dress she was wearing. And truth be told, it was something else. Look at the pic above.

Six times entertainer of the year CMA award winner Carrie Underwood was wearing a cascading russet ball gown which literally filled up the stage at MGM Grand. It looks majestic, but I have to give Carrie Underwood kudos for actually being able to move wearing such dress. You’d think one would need seven concubines to assist with the dress if you’re wearing one of that size.

Prior to being awarded the best entertainer of the year award, Carrie Underwood also received the top female artist award. The video of her I Told You So performance along with the acceptance speech is below. Carrie Underwood totally owned the CMA 2009. Not bad for a former American Idol winner. :

Photo of Carrie Underwood at CMA 2009 by Mark J. Terrill, AP Photo

Not here, geeee. Beer Steak Blog is a safe for work site. But we know where to go to see the pic of Robert Pattinson naked. And I will tell, but let me tell you first – the kid has grown up on me. I used to see just a hairy dude, now I see Edward Cullen. And I’m not even a 12 year old girl and I kind of enjoyed Twilight. Does it mean I’m gay?

If you didn’t know, Robert Pattinson played Salvador Dali in the upcoming movie Little Ashes (release date set for May 8th, 2009). Little Ashes is rated R and as it turns out, at one point Robert Pattinson aka Salvador Dali poses in front of the mirror butt naked with his penis tucked in. Pubes are showing, not sure about butt. Does talking about naked dudes make me even more gay?

Click here for NSFW pic of Robert Pattinson Naked!

Cloris Leachman jumped on a bandwagon full of celebrities who release their tell all autobiographies. The banwagon is known for reaching said celebrities at such stage in their lives, when nobody really gives a poop about them (we all get there sooner or later) and this is just about the last shout in the dark they can make. The autobiography like that is guaranteed to include some spiced up stories full of sex and booze and midget amputee tranny bukake parties cause otherwise no one would buy that crap. And so does the Cloris Leachman autobiography.

The New York Post got a pre release peak of the upcoming tell-all book by Cloris Leachman titled simply “Cloris” (am I the only one who thinks of clitoris each time I see her name?) and shared a few lines with their readers which include… you guessed it – a story of how Cloris Leachman bumped into Gene Hackman in San Francisco while they were both shooting in the area in the 1970’s. The two went to have a dinner together, they didn’t even finish eating, ran upstairs and had epic sex together.

What a boring story, Cloris Leachman. You should have blown him in the elevator and get busboy clean up the sperm by telling him it much have been a dog vomit. To be fair, Cloris Leachman did add a spark to it at the end when she said she’d never seen Gene Hackman since. I like love stories with happy ending.

Kudos to grandma Cloris Leachman, though. Nice of her to be still so cheerful and share (most likely) truthful stories from her life. I hope her book does well. Cloris Leachman is now 82 year old.

Cloris Leachman Photo by Stefano Paltera for Los Angeles Times

On its way of going down and down and down, Playboy continues with its endless charade of fail. Naming Joanna Krupa the sexiest swimsuit model in the world is Playboy’s latest showcase of how irrelevant and ridiculous this magazine is. I mean look at her – Joanna Krupa has got fake tits. The moment there are fake tits involved is the moment word sexy leaves the play and becomes completely irrelevant. Playboy has been irrelevant with the focus on fake breasted women for decades. It’s about time the operation of the irrelevant publication reached the end. And from sales of the magazin it seems like that day is not too far.

Joanna Krupa Bio

Joanna Krupa was born in Poland and just as 80% of poles, her parents moved out of there and settled abroad. This time in Chicago where Polish population is through the roof. According to interview with Fox New, Joanna Krupa has no issues posing topless or naked and tells other models that worrying about posing for the camera without clothes is ridiculous. Joanna Krupa said she took inspiration from quote of Pope John Paul II who said that people are born named, so showing naked bodies means showing works of God.

Aside from Playboy, Joanna Krupa also posed for other magazines for men, including Stuff, FHM, Inside Sport, Personal, Maxim,S teppin’ Out, and Teeze.

Below is the gallery of photos with Joanna Krupa. Take a look and tell if you really think this woman is the sexiest swimsuit model in the world as Playboy claims. No way, says me!

Weight loss has become an unexpected hot topic now with all those new breakthroughs that we the innocent obese people with no lives have to listen to. As if magical African Mango Extract was not enough, now we have a celebrity publically displaying significant weight loss. Valerie Bertinelli is best known for being Barbara Cooper Royer, the daughter of Bonnie Franklin in One Day at a Time TV series. 48 year old Valerie Bertinelli, who’s always been overweight posed for the cover of People Magazine and damn… she’s no overweight woman no more. She’s a sexy looking, lean cougar. What happened? What’s the Valerie Bertinelli Weight Loss Secret?

The career of Valerie Bertinelli took off when she was a young girl. It started with being Barbara Cooper and continued with being becoming a wife of Eddie Van Halen, who was at the time the biggest rock star ever. Wild lifestyle with bad drinking and eating habits put some pounds on her. Fast forward few decade later – Valerie Bertinelli sees herself as overweight and self conscious because of it. She joins the Jenny Craig weight loss program, sheds 20 pounds and writes the book about her weight loss success titled “Losing It: And Gaining My Life Back One Pound at a Time.”

Now there is no secret – if you were hoping to find a get-slim-fast formula here, I will let you down. Get-slim-fast schemes are the same as get-rich-fast schemes. Only the person who sells the schemes benefits. Others never see results and all they got was monetary loss (as you have to spend money to join the scheme). If I were you, I’d say – eff it! Don’t buy no book, don’t join no program. Yes, Valerie Bertinelli lost some nice weight, but hell – don’t think the same is gonna happen to you if you buy her book or join her program (or a program she’s associated with). It all screams all forms of weird at me. There are too many names and items that cost money attached to the Valerie Bertinelli weight loss secret. Surely she did something right and did lose a lot of weight, but I find it ridiculous how everybody jumped on a bandwagon and is looking to monetize on it. This part I don’t like.

Forget about Valerie Bertinelli weight loss secret. Listen to Mark’s weight loss secret – quit eating fast food junk, you fat bastard. Buy as much organic as you can. 100% organic is the preference, but there aren’t many such out there. You got to get rid of addiction that preservative in conventional foods keep you stuck at. Get yourself a pedal bike and ride to work, instead of driving your ugly, penis-enhancing truck. It helps the environment anyway. And then when you stop being an ugly fat bastard, you can write your own book and you monetize on it. Don’t be a tool and make someone else rich by buying the dream they are selling. The dream is a dream is a dream. There are no magic formulas. But there are wise lifestyle choices. They will need help, but you can find it in health food and organic produce stores. See you when you’re lean. And don’t forget to eat lots of organic mango from Africa. I’m sure that stuff has some beneficial, weight loss promoting properties. You’ll feel much better about it than by following some questionable Valerie Bertinelli weight loss secret.

No joke, this photo is old, small and weird, but it’s the only photo of David Letterman and his first wife and a high school sweetheart Michelle Cook. David Letterman first met Michelle Cook at the Ball State University and it was love at first sight. The two got married on July 2, 1968 – David Letterman was 21 year old and Michelle Cook just turned 22 on the day of their wedding. Since David Letterman keeps his personal life at low profile, everybody wants to know what the scoop with Michelle Cook was, since he’s now married to Regina Lasko, so let’s take a look at his previous marriage to his college sweetheart:

As it turns out, David Letterman married Michelle Cook in secret. His parents did not find out about it until four weeks later, when Michelle Cook came to see them after her already husband somewhat disappeared on her. Obviously, David had some explaining to do and even though he was drunk when beans got spilled, he confessed that he didn’t think the marriage through, but they got married because they loved each other, not because Michelle Cook was pregnant and neither of them was forced into marriage.

Michelle Cook was a music major, while David Letterman got his own degree in telecommunications. Shortly after the marriage, David went to work as weatherman in Indianapolis. The marriage to his college sweetheart lasted till 1977 when the two divorced. Michelle Cook is now 62 year old and I have no idea where she is or what she does. There are basically no verifiable photos other than the picture posted above (still working on tracking some down). Check out the video of David Letterman with Borat below – hilarious stuff.