Crystal Harris – Hef’s New Blond Girlfriend
January 6th, 2009
Hugh Hefner continues his charade with incredibly useless blonds. Crystal Harris is the latest on the long list of worthless girlfriend whores who would suck old man’s dick cause they’re useless to do anything worth while.
Crystal Harris has been desperately trying to draw attention to herself by sucking on Hef’s little toe for a while, but mostly in vain. Hef had other worthless blondes by his side at the time – Kendra Wilkinson, Bridget Marquardt and Holly Madison sucked out as much as they could out of Playboy owner but when your name is Hugh Hefner, you can only stand one blonde for so long. When the trio of skanks departed, they were swiftly replaced by twin gold diggers Kristina and Karissa Shannon. Crystal Harris entered the scene at that time as well, but remained obscure… until today.
The 22 year old Crystal Harris slammed her fist on the table and said: “Enough. I’m as blonde and plastic as they get. I want my share of attention.” You’re dream comes true, Crystal. The purpose of your life – being a whore that sucks on the mummy penis of Hugh Hefner – is hereby accomplished. May you live in peace.
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