Is today an international douchebag day? It must be, cause a couple of international douchbags got married to everybody’s surprise. Jessica Alba gave up and married her long time boyfriend Cash Warren today. I seriously don’t find Jessica Alba interesting in any way, shape or form… especially now that she’s pregnant and looking all super gross, but OK. If you’re gonna get married in a spur of a moment, I’m all for the mayhem.

It started with this useless ho Jessica Alba dumping her boyfriend of a very long time – Cash Warren. Shortly after the news of the ho being pregnant hit the waves and she’s been carrying that fetus in her uterus all by her onsey and eventually gave up to grief and mind torture, grabbed Cash Warren by his left nut, dragged him to the Beverly Hills City Hall and said – I fucking DO! There was nobody there but the douche pair themselves. Oh the awesomeness.

I don’t know. Jessica Alba has never been hot and now that she’s knocked up and married, she’s just joined the long line of average MILFs. Nothing special, I’d still finger her brown eye. Not the pussy anymore. Someone sprayed his semen in there and knocked her up. that;s just fucking gross, man.