Beer Steak Bullshit

I have to talk some more about the awesomeness from South Africa – Die Antwoord. These guys totally caught on me and I can’t seem to get enough of their funny accents and well executed cyber rave rap music. Die Antwoord – Enter the Ninja is by far my favorite song by the South Africans and I particularly appreciate the intermezzo at 4.04 mark.

That little, perky, funny haircut sporting blonde who goes by the name of Yo-Landi Vi$$er is cute in the video too. She also sounds cute which is hardly ever the case with female singers. They usually sound irritating (Beyonce, for example) making you want to stab drunken squirrels in the eye. Yo-Landi Vi$$er is nothing like that. Listening to her voice makes you want to apply warm massage oil to your testicules.

Ninja, the man himself with his awesome box cut hair and awkward tattoos is the soul of Die Antwoord, making Die Antwoord what it really is. Then there is previously introduced DJ Hi-Tek who has the skill to make “next level” beats on a PC computer. Damn, Die Antwoord are the new shit.

Enter the Ninja video is below and the lyrics below the video. Please note that while most of the lyrics are in English, some of the lyrics are in Dutch/Afrikaan:

[Yo-Landi Visser]

I, I, I
I am your butterfly
I need your protection
Be my samurai
I, I, I
I am your butterfly
I need your protection
Need your protection

I’m a ninja, yo
My life is like a videogame
I maintain when I’m in the zone
One player one life on the mic
I’m in the dark

Go, ninja, go!

No f**kin around I’m cutting down
Anyone in my path
Tryna f**k up my game with razor sharp
Lyrical throw stars
Killin’ my flow

Hos! Ska!
Wild, outta control

Ninja skop befokte rof taal
Rough rhymes, tough times
Met fokkol kos, skraal
Till I hit triple seven at the ATM
Straight famine or feast,
When you’re living on the razor edge
Stay sharp, sharp
Rolling with the $O$
High energy
Never seen zef so fresh
Uh, when we mic check
Hi-Def flow’s flex
Yo we optimistic
Not f**king depressed
We not like the rest
My style is UFO
Totally unknown
You can’t f**k with my new Zef flow
I’m hard to miss
“You can’t do this, you can’t do that”
Yo, f**kin’ who said so?
I do what I like
Too hot to handle, too cold to hold
You can’t f**k with the chosen one
I-I-I-I-I want the knife
I’m a Ninja

[Yo-Landi Visser]

I, I, I
I am your butterfly
I need your protection
Be my samurai
I, I, I
I am your butterfly
I need your protection
Need your protection

Ninja is poes cool
But don’t f**k with my game
Boy or I’ll poes you
Life is tough
When I get stuck
When my time is up
I push through
Till I break-break-break
on through to the other side
Fantastically poor with patience like a stalker

Ninja is hardcore
Been cut so deep, feel no pain
Its not sore
Don’t ask for kak or
You’ll get what you ask for
I’m like a wild animal in the corner
Waiting for the break of dawn
Trying to get through the night
Just a man with the will to survive
My blade swing free
Decapitate a hater with amazing ease
This is not a game, boy
Don’t play with me
I work my mic sabre like a wild f**king savage
from the dark side danger
Yin to the yang
Totally Hi-Tek Ninja’s
Motherf**king big in Japan
I seen the future, but I never got nothing in my hand
Except a microphone, big dreams and a plan
Fly-talking, sky-walking
Like a ninja

[Yo-Landi Visser]

I, I, I
I am your butterfly
I need your protection
Be my samurai
I, I, I
I am your butterfly
I need your protection
Need your protection

[Ninja]

f**k, this is like
The coolest song I ever heard in my whole life
f**k all of you who said I wouldn’t make it
Who said I was a loser
Said I was a no-one
Said I was a f**kin’ psycho
But look at me now:
All up on the interweb
World-wide, 2009. Futurista
Enter the Ninja
Yolandi Visser
DJ Hi-Tek
Die fokken Antwoord
Dis Mooi ne?

[Yo-Landi Visser]

I, I, I (I’m a ninja)
I am your butterfly
I need your protection
Be my samurai
I, I, I (Yo I’m a ninja!)
I am your butterfly
I need your protection
Need your protection

I, I, I (I’m a ninja)
I am your butterfly
I need your protection
Need my samurai
I, I, I (a motherf**kin’ ninja!)
I am your butterfly
I need your protection
Need your protection

Sorry about censorship on swear words, but Die Antwoord lyrics are full of the f word. My server would bitch slap me if I bombed it with that much f word. Awesome lyrics

So there’s this guy who has a wife who’s the biggest cry baby in the world. She allegedly cries at the end of just about every movie so the dude started to film her crying charades to make money at it – or whatever other intent there is. Seriously, this crying wife is actually pretty decent looking but her crybaby acting is old and boring and she needs to sober up. For this dude’s own sanity, I truly hope she gives good head and takes it in the ass with pleasure otherwise I’d beat the shit out of her day in and day out. What a stupid….

If you haven’t heard of Die Antwoord you need to climb out of your cave cause they’re the next big thing. Die Antwoord are a South African rap group pushing new rap style known as Zef. Without further ado I’ma let you enjoy the Beat Boy music video and to keep you up, the lyrics for the full song are also included below (video does not have full song, just a part of it mixed with some funny interview:

Beat Boy
Yo Dj Hi-Tek
Drop The Motherfuckin Beat Box Dog
Bring That Next-Level Shit
Uh, Yo, For Real
That’s What I’m Talking About
Check It Out

Totally Psychic, Open Your Mind Quick As The Vibe Kicks
Moederfok It, I Skeem This Vibe’s Rou
Jislaaik Yo
Yo Yo Yo Yo Check Out This Hype Flow
I Go By The Name Of
N-I-N-J To The Motherfuckin A
Straining Your Brain Like Tv Static
Check Out The Phunky 3D Grafix
Rave Visuals, Enter My Digital Zone
As I Recite A Poem On The Microphone
I’m Scoping, 3Rd Eye Strobing, Mind Open, Sweat Streaming
Flesh Gleaming, Best Feeling, High-Energy Peaking, Deep Meanings
Freak When I See Things, Like This Chick In A G-String
Can I Touch You Friend?

Chorus:
Beat Boy, Beat Boy
Hit That Perfect Beat Boy
Hit That Perfect, Hit That Perfect
Hit That Perfect Beat Boy

Pump It Uh!, Yo Pump It Uh Uh!
Yo Pump It Uh!
Lick It, Dip It, Twist It, Turn It,
Pump It Uh!, Yo Pump It Uh Uh!
Lick It, Dip It, Twist It, Turn It, Stick It, Dunk It
P-P-P-P-Pump It!

I Think About You When I Masturbate
You Can’t Even Believe It But That’s Ok
On The Microphone I Fascinate
When I Let My 3Rd Eye Exaggerate
Freaky Visions, I Tell You What I See
Cold Concrete Scattered With Dry Leaves
You Naked Lying On The Pavement
People Are Standing Round With Laany Shoes
You Can Hardly Move, You Look Sexy
All Of A Sudden, The Streets Are Empty
You Stand Up, Open Your Eye-Lids
You In A Trench Coat, It’s French, You Look Stylish
You Walk In The Silence, Not Sure What The Time Is
It’s Totally Twilight, The Sky Is Violet
An Abandoned House, Look Ahead You See
Some Open The Door, Yes It’s Me
With The Meanest Penis You Ever Seen
You On Your Period, With No Tampon
You Kneel Down And Get With The Vibe
Your Period Blood Has Crystalized
You Offer Me The Red Crystal, It’s Ill
Grab Hold Of The Mic Tight, Tonight’s The Night
The Vibe Is Live, Pump Up The Base
I Got Tentacles Coming Out My Face
I Rise Into The Air Cut Myself Open
Warm Blood Pours Down All Round
I Speak From The Deep Cut In Between My Thighs
You Covered In Blood Rubbing Your Boobs, Feeling Nice

Chorus

You Open The Door Step Into The Place
Look Around, Strange Painting On The Walls
A Chick On The Floor On All Fours, Totally Nude
In High Heels, The Vibes Ill
She’s Hand-Cuffed, Ankle Cuffed, Steel Collar
With A Long Lease Attached To The Ceiling
The Scene’s Appealing, Revealing Weird Feelings
Make You Forget About What You Believing
Another Chick Chilling Against The Wall
Flashing Her Boobs, Legs Spread With A Nice Vagina
And A Long Stick, There’s A Nice Big
Painting Above Her Head, Expensive!
You Check Another Chick On All Fours
Chilling Next To Another Chick Lying On The Floor
Legs Spread In The Middle Of The Corridor
Close Shave, Don’t Touch What You Can’t Afford
The Next-Room’s A Bed Room, You Become Two
What I Mean Is: You Plus Another You
You Get Down With Yourself While I Watch
Body Buzzing Like A Bed Of A Billion Bees
You Kneel Down In Front Of The Other You
Time To Learn Something New
The One Kneeling Is A Slave
Kneel For The Master
Feel The Warm Hand On The Back Of Your Head
You Got A Tattoo On The Back Of Your Neck
An Infinity Sign That Represents Your Past
Your Master Touches You On Your Tattoo
And Removes Your Tattoo, Now You Brand New
I’m Proud Of You Dear
There’s Nothing You Not Allowed To Do Here
Listen To Me, The Infinity Tattoo Is A Key
Let Go To My Rhyme And Open Your Mind

Chorus

Lift Up Your Dress, Open Up Your Legs
Your Vaginas Sewn Up, Untie The Thread
My Sublime Rhyme Inside Your Head
Your Mind Is Rushing, Vagina Gushing
Another Chick In The Corner Taking A Piss
It Looks Nice, The Whole Vibe Is Totally Kinky
Look Around, The New Room Is Fancy
Remove Your Fur Coat, Remove Your Panties
I’m Rocking A Suit And A Black Face Mask
I Ejaculate In Champaign Glass
Your Precious Flesh Is So Mysterious
Pierce Your Nipples With Two Long Needles
Like A Crucifix, Take You To Another Level
While I Get My Freak On, The Vibe Is Mental
Transcendental, We Somewhere Else Now
Still Rocking A Mask, But I’ve Taken Off My Suit
You Rocking A Mask Too, Shaking Your Nice Boobs
I Tell You I Like You, You Feel My Piel
We Start French Kissing With Flippin Long Tongues
We Somewhere Else Now, You Dressed Conservative
I Transform Into A Big Black God
Feel The Realness, My Dick’s Lank Hard
You Can’t Belive It, A Dick In Your Palm
As Big As Your Arm, We Somewhere Else Now
A Hospital Uh! Get Ready For The Operation
Lot Of Guys Chilling Behind You, Blasts From The Past
All Rocking A Mask, Penises Out
Drop Your Panties For The Surgeon
“I’m Not A Virgin” It’s Not A Problem
Look In The Mirror, You Can See It’s You
You Got Two Nice Boobs And A Penis Too

Chorus

The Men In The Masks Gather Round The Patient
Waiting In Anticipation
The Old Surgeon Says “Can You See This?”
“A Beautiful Woman With A Brand New Penis!”
You Klap The Surgeon, Flip Him Right Round
Bend Him Over, Lift His White Gown
Gryp The Surgeon’s Milky Butt-Cheeks
Rape The Surgeon, Break The Surgeon
Absorb You Penis Into Your Tummy
You A Woman Again, Complete With A Vagina
I’m Flipping My Rhyme Uh!
Tripping Your Mind Out
Ripping And Vipping Your Pip
Flip It Inside-Out
Now You The Teacher, You The Guide
The Real You Won’t See You Denied
You Got Crazy Sex Appeal, All Tied Up
Kneeling On The Pavement, You Can’t Say Shit
Your Mouth Is Gagged, You Surrounded By
A Thousand Guys Totally Under Your Spell
They All Totally Scared Of The Power You Hold
You Can Changed The Rules Of The Game And Devour Their Souls
Now’s The Time Girl
Let’s Head Back Into The Outside World
The World Of Others, It’s Time To Go Back
The Doors Are Stuck Shut But The Walls Are Beginning To Crack
Uh! Now The Walls Are Bleeding
It’s All Deceiving, You Soaking Wet
With No Regrets, Feel Your Body Sweat Blood
Peel Off Your Old Skin, Time To Get Love

You Arrive At The Cemetery In Time For The Ceremony
I Give You A Hot Kiss, Grab Hold Of Your Arse Cheeks
How’d You Like To Get Laid On This
Tomb Stone In The Middle Of The Rain Forest
My Gaze Puts You In A Dase, I’m Loving Your Long Tongue
Look At Your Beautiful Face, Covered In Hot Come
Spread My Wings Block Out The Sun
Lie On My Back, Scope Out Your Bum
My Penis Stays Hard, You Breathing Heavily
I Penetrate You, The Feelings Heavenly
Now Bounce Girl, You Know It’s Hot
Bounce, Bounce Girl Like, Oh My God!
Totally Freaky Deaky Phunky
Wad:E Make You Leave Your Body
Transport You To Another Dimension
You Alone In The Desert, Totally Nude
The Silence Is Violent
You Floating Above The Ground
Invisible Energies Penetrate
Every Hole In Your Body While You Levitate
You Start Coming Apart, Shape-Shifting
Wild, Out Of Control

This ugly, blond haired, fake tittied skank who refers to herself as a MILF made a spoof of CopperCab’s Gingers Have Souls rant. While I find her atrociously ugly and irritating, I must give her props for memorizing much of Ginger’s rant and pulling off her own parody of it. MILFs Have Souls would actually be pretty funny if it was done by a MILF, not a third grade wannabe porn star.

When you look at someone like this human waste in the video above, you no longer wonder why some men talk about shoving their junk down skank’s throat to shut her up. She doesn’t have the presence and charisma of CopperCab and comes out as boring and sad. She doesn’t have the looks either and when she made the reference to raising a kid, all of my red lights went berserk. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had spawned a bastard when she was 16 cause that’s about all she could do with the brain capacity she sports, but I can’t imagine her bringing the kid up. It’s either in her parent’s care or has been adopted by someone with brain.

Of all conspiracy theories out there, this video which is supposed to expose Project Blue Beam put together by the Illuminati (Project Blue Beam that is, not this video) as part of their plan to impose the New World Order upon us is the worst yet. However if you can get past scrolling text that fills up your screen left to right for eight minutes, it does actually bear some interesting information. The existence of Project Blue Beam is advocated by some of the strongest anti NWO voices, including Alex Jones.

There is some information in the video that makes it sound so childish and sci-fi that it’s hard to believe, but what if… Apparently the Illuminati are launching the satellites equipped with latest laser technology that will orbit the Earth at a few hundred kilometers above the surface and at appointed time will start projecting holographic images of what will be the saints most believable to the members of religion that’s most dominant at that particular geographical area. The holographic projections will introduce new Gods chosen by the Illuminati to help them institute New World Order.

At one point the Blue Beam video talks (scrolls the text) about how people of any given religion will give up their Gods for the new God the projected image of which they will see in the sky. I am afraid the Illuminati forgot to take into account growing numbers of Muslims in the world who will not give up their religion. Their position in the world is strengthening and may be too overbearing now even for the Illuminati to overcome. Perhaps that’s a reason to ditch Project Blue Beam and work out new strategy to bring upon the New World Order? How about you make me one of the Illuminati so I can be at the top when we take over the world, given that I am so smart I could figure this one out?

Well Damn! That’s all I can say. Avatar is making money like there’s no tomorrow. Current Avatar’s earnings stepped over $2 Billion US making it the first movie in history to earn more than two billion dollars and Avatar is still showing. It’s a movie you can still go to see in a movie theater and you will sit in a sold out room – how much are the earnings going to grow once DVDs are released and once Lightstorm Entertainment starts milking obsessed Avatar fans with release of fan cards, figurines and whatever else can be utilized to make more money? Take a look at the picture above. If you split Avatar’s earnings into one hundred dollar bills, this is how big a pile you would get. Almost 24 palettes stacked up high with one hundred dollar bills. Damn!

According to Box Office Mojo, current Avatar’s earnings are exactly at $2,039,200.00 range. Of this total, 29.2% or $594.5 Million was earned in the USA, and 70.8% or 1,444.8 Million was earned overseas. Avatar is pretty damn popular all over the world, as you can see. And these earnings will not even reflect future earnings of 3D TV Manufacturers who will see lots of sales of their home 3D TV Sets thanks to Avatar. I saw the movie, I liked it, but it would never have occurred to me that it will be such massively successful. Just damn. Avatar’s earnings continue to grow. i predict more than $3 Billion when all is said and done and Avatar has earned a few Oscars.

If you near pooped in your menstruation pad as your eyes landed on the pictures of the new Miss America above, don’t be ashamed – it happens to the best of us. Afterall, you were expecting to see a beauty pageant contestant, not a horror movie screenshot, right? I understand. Let me explain what’s going on here: Miss Virginia Caressa Cameron has just been crowned Miss America 2010 and I can’t help but ask – were the judges blond (meant to say “blind” originally but “blond” works just as well)? Caressa Cameron looks absolutely horrid, but I surely don’t have to tell you that, you have your own eyes to fill you in.

Who exactly is behind Miss America? It almost looks as though the winner was predetermined by the test the contestants would have gone through prior to the gala. Caressa Cameron looks like she can blow four people at the same time with mouth of that size so she got the vote. I can’t explain her victory otherwise.

Sadly enough, there was no contestant at the 2010 Miss America pageant who would look half decent. No cute girl next door, just slutty stripper pole polishing types who look like they have solid history of crack abuse. Don’t tell me there are no cute girls in America. There must be at least a handful out of over 300 million people. Why do the skankiest looking ones make it to Miss America? It’s disgusting.

Gallery of pictures of horrid looking Miss America 2010 Caressa Cameron is below:

Caressa Cameron – Miss America 2010 photos by Ethan Miller / Getty Images and Steve Marcus / Reuters

When comparing latest tablet with the oldest one, there aren’t many differences to spot. Above is a visual comparison of iPad tablet from Apple vs Ancient Stone as a tablet. Aside from the touch screen, the 2010 iPad is about as advanced as an ancient stone from 40,000 BC. That’s pretty much where Apple stands as a company.

Aside from having the capabilities of an ancient stone tablet, iPad also sports truly ugly frame around the screen that sports a 4:3 ratio (aka no widescreen), it has no support for Flash, no support for multitasking (that’s right, if you’d like to listen to music while you are checking emails – forget it, iPod won’t allow you to do that. It’s just too much for it), no camera – whether facing forward or back, no USB slots (WTF, seriously), need for adapters – you will need to buy whole pile of adapters if you would like to do something as fundamental as uploading your pictures from a digital camera onto an iPad, and you are limited to App Store with new applications – you simply can’t install an application you want, you can only install an application offered in App Store. iPad is plain and simple a prehistoric failure of bullshit. Steve Jobs has proven me right again – Apple Sucks!

Apple iPad tablet was intended to be a replacement for notebooks, yet it lacks support for one of the most important components needed to surf the net – Flash. Without Flash support iPad will not be able to show content of website where Flesh elements are used (many, many websites use that) so instead of seeing their attractive, interactive features, you will see blue legos on the screen of your iPad. Great win on behalf of Apple. Fanboys can wipe off the cream from their panties.

iPad is the biggest technological failure of last few decades. It’s made by Apple so expecting it to suck is fair, but Apple went way overboard delivering suckiness when iPad was released without support for Flash.

Did you realize that all YouTube videos are playable on your computer only because your computer supports flash? That’s right and it’s not only YouTube. Most of the big players in online video sharing use flash platform to offer video streaming. The videos you see when you go to DailyMotion, LiveLeak, MySpace Videos, Google Videos, MetaCafe, etc – they all stream files with .flv extension which is an extension for Flash Video. So if you surf any of those websites on an iPad, instead of seeing their vids, you will see blue legos. Because that’s how Apple rocks. Blue Legos everywhere flash is needed. Count millions of websites, many of which are some of internet’s most visited portals. iPad = FAIL

I take great pleasure at mocking Apple as a company cause they are pure failure front to back. But Steve Jobs really tried hard to serve me a ball for a smash introduction of iPad. So much anticipation, Apple fanboys were creaming their gay pants over new Apple tablet and what they got is iPad. I mean – what did they expect? It’s an Apple product, it’s bound to fail and suck. I know – nobody quite expected it to suck this much but there’s just one answer to that – it’s an Apple product. That says it all. Case closed.

Apple is responding to the failure of iPad and introduces new, breakthrough, miraculous device called iPan Nano. iPad Nano fits in your pocket and you can make phone calls with it. And let’s not forget it also has a camera. iPad Nano is the poop… Wait a minute!