Beer Steak Bullshit

This video contains hundreds of pictures of a camera whoring girl who strikes the same pose and pulls the same facial expression in every single shot. If you pay attention to guido twinks she’s photographed with, you will get quite a picture of her moral values, but still… can’t she act like herself for five minutes? I take any and all opportunities to make myself look stupid, but this girl has outdone me with ease.

It takes someone as insecure as a guido twink with their stupid gel styled hairs to find girl with lips convulsing into a pout all the time attractive. I wonder if she pout those lips when she goes down on her guido greaseball twink friends? As common knowledge states, guido twinks are not into girls, but when she pouts her mouth like that, it looks like bumhole so guidos get confused and may insert their needle sized member.

I’d laugh my ass off if someone traced down her graduation photo and she’s in it showing her left cheek and pouting her lips to receive guido member.

Swype is a text messaging technology that takes texting to a whole new level. Swype is the new generation of texting. As you will see in a Swype Demo below, texting using Swype technology is fast and easy. You just slide your finger roughly through the letters that compose your word and Swype will do the rest with remarkably great accuracy. This makes texting convenient and fast.

Texting technology went from regular number pad with several letters per button, to T9 texting where the software guessed your words aiding in increased speed of typing. Modern cell phones offer qwerty keyboards, some even have on screen touchscreens but they are all obsolete now that Swype technology is taking over.

Swype technology was invented by Cliff Kushler who also invented T9 for regular keyboards. Smart phones equipped with Swype touchscreens are already a reality and soon we can expect first notebooks equipped with Swype keyboard on the screen. Typing with Swype is intuitive and system does great job guessing right words. The video with Swype demo is below and it truly looks amazing.

This post was written using standard qwerty keyboard on a Samsung laptop computer. I hope I typed Swype correctly each time as I kept going for “n” instead of “p” way too often. Let me know if you see it spelled as Swyne somewhere.

Swype Demo image by c-net

New Year’s Eve like the one of 2009 only comes once in a blue moon. Regardless of how cheesy this line sounds, a very rare phenomenon known as Blue Moon will ring our way into 2010. The term “Blue Moon” has nothing to do with the color of the moon – don’t go out on New Year’s Eve expecting the moon to take blue hue. In popular science, Blue Moon is a term used when there is full moon twice in the same month. This December we already had one full moon – on December 2nd to be exact. And there will be another one just as we count our way down to New Year.

You will be able to observe the 2009 New Years Eve Blue Moon if you live in Canada, the United States, South America, Europe or Africa. However people in Asia or down under in Australia won’t get it until New Years Day, which basically means there will be no Blue Moon for them, cause it’s no longer the same month. But then again, since they will get one full moon on January 1st, this will be their Blue Moon month cause another full moon will come towards the end of January (it occurs every 29.5 days).

This year I’m gonna make an exception and celebrate New Year’s Eve outside. I’m not going to the same club I have spent my lat 7 New Year’s Eves at. Last Blue Moon on New Year’s Eve was in 1990 and the next one is not coming until 2028. 2009 is a good year for outdoor celebrations of New Year’s Eve.

Remember when I told you that jellyfish are taking over the world? Well, I wasn’t kidding. As found out by Ben Southhall who has the Best Job in the World, jellyfish are plentiful and could sting you even if you go in the ocean just for a few seconds. Irukandji Jellyfish (Carukua Barnesi) which stung Ben Southhall is particularly dangerous and potentially lethal (deemed to be one of the most venomous creatures in the world, Irukandji Jellyfish are now spreading to other parts of the world due to global warming).

Ben Southall, British national who won the competition for “Best Job in the World” to act as caretaker on a beautiful Great Barrier Reef island in Australia, made a post on Island Caretaker Job blog about being stung by Irukandji Jellyfish as he was getting off the water ski. Irukandji Jellyfish are very tiny – just a size of a peanut which makes then near impossible to see. Ben Southhall never saw the Irukandji, he just felt a sting and as his health was deteriorating, he was taken to a doctor who took all precautions to relieve him off the Irukandji symptoms.

Ben Southhall will be OK, but keep in mind folks – the jellyfish are taking over the oceans. Watch out for Irukandji between October and May if you are in the Great Barrier Reef neighborhood. A sting from those could put you out for a long time, even forever.

In a wake of terrorism attacks aboard the US bound aircrafts reignited by Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab and his failed attempt to blow up Northwest Airlines Flight 253, good folks at Gizmodo have put together this illustrated chart which demonstrates your odds of being a terrorism victim in a flight. It puts in perspective the fear of airplane focused terrorism attacks in relation to the total number of commercial flights, total number of miles and total airborne time vs total number of terrorist attacks. Interesting perspective. According to the chart, your odds of being a terrorism victim in a flight are 1 in 10,408,947

China has carried out its first execution of a European Union national since 1951. 53 year old British citizen Akmal Shaikh was caught in 2007 trying to smuggle over 4 kg of heroin to China – a crime that bears the penalty of death in this communist country. Following two years of requests to grant Akmal Shaikh clemency, Chinese court has made its final ruling to go ahead with execution much to disappointment of British officials.

The execution of Akmal Shaikh prompted criticism of Chinese government by the Britons to which the Chinese responded with defiance. And as much as I am an opposer of the capital punishment, I must side with the Chinese on this one. Not with their right to execute their criminals, but with their right to retain judicial sovereignty. Akmal Shaikh knew what he was doing and knew that punishment for smuggling of such large amount of heroin to China may result in execution if caught yet he did it regardless. You play with fire, you get burned. As much as I don’t like capital punishment, I also don’t like heavy drugs such as heroin and most of all – I have no respect for people who do all they can to avoid working for their money. Opting for an easy way out by smuggling heroin to come by millions is the lowest form of being. I’m not saying Akmal Shaikh deserved to be executed, but he should have known better.

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, the guy who allegedly tried to blow up the Northwest Airlines Flight 253 en route to Detroit from Amsterdam is safely behind bars, but his terrorist attack momentum lives on. To keep the hype up, ABC News got their hands on the photo of his explosive underwear aka underwear bomb he was wearing and wanted to detonate while aboard Flight 253.

The explosive underwear of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab had a packet sawn onto it in the crotch area. The packet contained some powder – according to certain reports, there were 80 grams of the military explosive PETN there. Al Qaeda took credit for this attempted bombing, even though if I were Al Qaeda, I’d deny it. Who would want to be associated with failed terrorist act? I mean – if it was successful, then yes, but it didn’t work so why take credit?

23 year old Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab of Nigeria was a member of Islamic forum Gawaher where he posted under nick name farouk1986 – it contains his middle name Farouk and his year of birth 1986. Authenticity of posts made under farouk1986 nick on Gawaher are still being verified by US intelligence officials, but they are all hard core pro Islam. Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab presents himself as devoted Muslim but if his attempt to blow up Flight 253 with an underwear bomb succeeded, he would have lost his penis in the process. It would be disintegrated into atoms that no one would be able to put together rendering him useless with 72 virgins in Muslim afterworld? Guy needs to think of those thing before he blows up his choonies.

I’m the biggest animal lover in the world who would not normally laugh at any suffering or death of animals, unless it’s mosquitoes we’re talking about, but this video gave me the LULz nonetheless. It’s in some non English speaking country, perhaps The Netherlands. Students bought a present for their young and hot teacher – a pair of dwarf hamsters. When teachers walks in the class, they sing Happy Birthday To You in English and hand her the bag with live dwarf hamsters inside. Teacher freaks the crap out, drops the bag and instantly stomps poor hamsters without second guessing, depositing the bag in a garbage bin. She then ends the birthday joys and proceeds with lecture.

I don’t know whether this video is real or fake. I have the tendency to not believe anything I see on the internet. I would expect the teacher to feel the hamsters inside the bag as it was handed to her. They are lively little rats that move a lot so there would be something to feel as you grab a hold of the bag. And since of course the video was filmed from an angle at which you can’t see the stomping of the rats, it’s all left to our guessing. I go with fake, but funny all the same.

Golfers and non golfers alike are asking – where is Tiger Woods? Given that he was born on December 30, 1975, his 34th birthday is coming up but there’s gonna be no Tiger Woods Birthday Bash Party this year. At least not to an extent he may have been used to in previous years. Tiger Woods will never forget 2009 – the worst year in his life. Within a few days everything went down the pooper for world’s best golfer. But where is he now? Where is Tiger Woods? Anyone knows? Has the world moved on and quit focusing on his transgressions? I’d say it’s quite so… at least until another mistress comes out of woodworks looking to get her 5 minutes of fame preying on already devastated Tiger.

Last time we’ve heard of Tiger Woods it was when he asked for privacy to get his personal life in order. Well, here’s a newsflash for you, Tiger. Nobody cares about your “private life”. Nobody has either. What tabloids did care about was your “secret life”. Your private life you were SUPPOSED to live as per your wows you have given to Elin Nordegren has somehow slipped off your hands. The tabloid took you on simply because of your secret life. If 2009 was a shit year for you, it’s not because multimedia got on your ass. It’s because they got on your secret life’s ass. Your transgressions, your below the waste punches you had been delivering were exposed and that’s what ran you to the pooper. You had maintained your image as a devoted family man and loving husband for years. Successfully. While in your back pocket the cell phone was buzzing with text messaging from some whore in Las Vegas.

So where is Tiger Woods now? Well, let’s hope he’s truly trying to find himself. He’s 34 years old and he’s had it all. More than vast majority of us could ever dream of but success doesn’t come without obligations. Unless he’s capable of finding this balance within himself, he will have had it all, but deep inside he will have not.

Ivana Trump needs to be awarded a medal of honor for her courageous deed aboard a plane. Instead, she was removed by the police. This simply proves that our society is completely effed up and we’re headed for the ruin. Ivana Trump is one of the few who were able to stand up for the right of us normal people to travel by plane in peace. This right is never honored aboard a plane because some mother effer has decided that kids should be allowed to fly. A kid on a plane is a disruptive passenger on a plane. Everyone who’s ever flown can attest to it. If there are kids on a plane, there are disruptive passengers on a plane. A kid on a plane is a terrorist on a plane. It’s a terrorist act when kids are allowed to destroy the flight. They never shut the eff up, never stop running up and down the aisles and their dumb parents don’t do shite about it. Each time I’m on a plane I have the urge to ask a flight attendant if they could let me use the axe so I can silence those disruptive passengers and make the flight enjoyable for all the rest of us aboard. Unfortunately, such brave deed is hard to pull through in today’s economy but that bothered Ivana Trump, who stood up and spoke up on behalf of all of us not. She’s a true hero. This is what happened:

Ivana Trump was boarding a plane from Palm Beach, Florida to New York. She had a first class seat and yet before the plane took off, the disruptive passengers aka kids started running down the aisles like rabid skunks on shrooms and screaming their filthy mouth off like the pieces of trash they are. Even though Ivana Trump was separated from them by being seated in the first class, kids on a plane are beyond annoying and it looked like this flight was gonna be yet another nightmare so on behalf of all passengers, Ivana Trump stood up and told those disruptive passengers to shut the f%$k up.

According to reports, Ivana Trump called the disruptive passengers “little fuckers” even after she was offered a different seat and a set of headphones by the flight attendant. What the hell was this flight attendant thinking? You don’t fight terror by backing off. You fight terror with terror. She should have offered Ivana Trump an axe to silence “little fuckers”. It would make her job easier too. Everyone would be happy.

Following up on Ivana Trump’s f-bombing, the captain of the Delta plane pulled the craft back to the terminal and the police came to escort Ivana Trump out of the plane. WTF seriously. How is the only passengers who stands up for the rights of passengers escorted out of the plane and the disruptive passengers are allowed to carry on disturbing the peace? Ban kid on planes. It should be illegal to take “little fuckers” aboard. If their plane transport is necessary, then they should be caged and thrown in luggage storage department. Let’s make a change, let’s end the age of tyranny and make flying enjoyable once more. Thank you Ivana Trump for standing up for our rights and speaking up on our behalf. The world is deeply indebted to you.