Beer Steak Bullshit

Oh the irony. Or should I say: “What goes around, comes around” instead? Scott Siegel, the actor who plays steroid dealer in the Oscar-nominated movie The Wrestler featuring Mickey Rourke has been arrested for steroid dealing in real life.

Former wrestler Scott Siegel is not new to prisons and steroid trafficking. He’s been arrested for the same crime before and spend four years in jail for steroid trafficking. I guess scoring a role in an Oscar nominated movie was not good enough of an easy income for the guy, so he decided to get some more cash flowing through his pockets by dealing what he has most experience to deal – steroids.

Last Wednesday, Scott Siegel was seen by DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration) officers picking up suspicioous package in New Rochelle. Officers cornered Scott Siegel, who rammed through police vehicles leading them on a high speed chase. After the police caught up with him and disabled his vehicle, Scott Siegel jumped out of his car and continued to flee on foot – dumbass. Cops captured Scott Siegel in Eastchester, New York, but he kept fighting them off. All this ordeal landed him assaulting a federal officer charges and of course steroid distribution charges (schedule III controlled substance).

With Oscar’s night coming up this Sunday and The Wrestler being one of the nominees for the best picture, I’m sure Mickey Rourke is not impressed Scott Siegel fucked it up the way he did. The police say they found 1,500 bottles of anabolic steroids, as well as $100,000 in cash on him. Roids are bad for you kids, m’kay?

Oh noooos, Miss Washington Elyse Umemoto got high on booze, had good time with her gay friends and took some photos. Photos got leaked (translation: sold) and TMZ posted them. Bis scandal now – racy photos of young bitch are all over the net. Unheard of, what’s this world coming to?

Miss Washington Elyse Umemoto finished third at the 2008 Miss America Pageant. Then sometimes earlier this year, Elyse Umemoto got excited about life and did what all young people do – consume alcoholic beverages. Cameras are ever present nowadays, and people are ever greedy. Elyse Umemoto’s fun times were captured on camera and photos sold to TMZ. Now it turned into big ass scandal, cause I suppose once you become Miss Washington, you are expected to put on a nun dress and lock your vagina behind chastity belt.

I don’t know what the big deal is all about. Nobody remembers any Miss contestants, unless they cause a scandal. What’s the deal with snorting a little cocaine anyway?

Mike Miller – one of executive directors at Miss Washington told TMZ that Miss Washington organization is embarrassed. However, at least these people did not immediately over-react and strip Elyse Umemoto off her crown. According to Mike Miller, Elyse Umemoto has been representing Miss Washington Scholarship Organization and did good job (translation: bitch sucks mean cock) so they are not considering any disciplinary action against her ass based on the behavior depicted in these racy photos. Anyone hiring for a position of executive director at any Miss pageant? My needs a quality blow job.

More scandalous racy pictures of Miss Washington Elyse Umemoto posted by TMZ in the gallery below. You can leave comments on each photo individually:

Rihanna got a worthy gift for her birthday – a photo of her face battered, beaten and bruised after domestic violence incident with Chris Brown has been leaked and is now all over the internet. Beer Steak Bullshit blog can not pass on this spectacular way to wish Rihanna aka Robyn Fenty a happy birthday either. TMZ posted the pic of battered Rihanna’s face late last night and that shit spread like wildfire.

LAPD are a bit unhappy about the photo leak. They are investigating on the matter and want to find out who sold the pic of beaten Rihanna to TMZ. According to LAPD, they take confidentiality of domestic violence victims seriously and this misconduct throws their efforts off.

It’s priceless how this photo leaked just on the day of Rihanna’s birthday. Nothing like being reminded on your birthday that you were a victim of domestic violence and got your ass kicked by your gay boyfriend. That’s what bitches get for rubbing pussies with fags. I find the music of Rihanna painful, but if bitch could shut her mouth, I’d give some ass loving. She wouldn’t have to worry about domestic violence from my ass, cause I’m so fucking fat, I couldn’t put on a fight. I’d give her best ass loving of her life. Bitches who don’t appreciate nice ass loving from a quality boyfriend like myself, deserve to get battered, bruise and beaten. I offer cuddles, night long cunnillingus, breast massages, labia stretching and all that good shit. Other boyfriends, like Chris Brown offer punch to the fat lip. Rihanna you bitch, swap ass beating with ass munching. I’m your guy to munch on your ass. The only bruises you get from me are sexually related spank bruises. I’d hook you to my St. Andrew’s Cross, whip your fine tits with my leather bdsm whip, ass fuck you with my dildo, cause I probably won’t get a hard on and apply clothes pins on your nipples. Pouting of hot wax on your pussy is optional. If you like fisting, I have fat hands and love to massage cervixes. You’ll get the best loving of your life, Rihanna. Just give me a bell, k?

Tiger Woods pisses me off – he’s everything I always wished I would be. He’s rich and famous because he’s good. He trained his all life, practiced relentlessly when fellow kids went to play and as result, he gets to play golf and makes shit loads of money doing it. While you and I go to 9-5 and barely make it living in a rented out basement. Sucks. Tiger Woods is the shit. Plus he has a wonderful family, beautiful loving wife and two gorgeous kids. What more could a guy ask for.

As you surely know, Tiger Woods welcomed a new addition to his family a few weeks ago – his first son Charlie Axel Woods. His sister Sam Alexis Woods is already a big girl. And of course there is this always gorgeous cougar Elin Nordegren. What a family, Tiger Woods is the luckiest guy in the whole wide world. The above is the family portrait of The Woods along with their two dogs. Even though the portrait looks kind of cheap, like done in a Walmart photography studio, it changes nothing on the fact that this is one awesome family.

If I ever have kids, I’ll do them a favor and put them on golf as soon as they can walk. And will cut out all articles from magazines about Tiger Woods for them to read and will make them watch all documentaries about awesomeness of the greatest golf player in the world so they see how a little bit of dedication and determination during their youth can lead to a wholesome life later on.

I have just watched this excellent documentary titled Earthlings. The name of the documentary may not suggest it at first, but it does make a lot of sense once you start watching it. It’s a video about animal abuse. Perhaps one of the harshest and most comprehensive video documentaries on animal abuse produced to date. It’s not easy to watch at all, especially if you’re an animal lover and human hater like me. Earthlings basically dips into every situation known to men involving animals and how we as fellow Earthlings have come to exploit animals, abuse them and brought many on the brink of destruction. Earthlings documentary is narrated by Joaquin Phoenix – great guy, great actor, animal rights activist and an overall great person with fantastic voice. Director and producer of Earthlings – Shaun Monson could not have picked a better person to narrate this documentary. It also comes as no surprise that Earthlings documentary is fully supported by Woody Harrelson – an activist for sustainable life choices. Musical score for Earthlings has been provided by another activist and an excellent musician – Moby.

Earthlings documentary is divided into five main section: Pets, Food, Clothes, Entertainment, Research. Each of these “industries” if you will involve animal abuse and exploitations, oftentimes done behind closed doors so average folk doesn’t know the real deal. The documentary reveals all the colorful details of mistreatment of animals with recordings of actual events that will make your non existent heard bleed tears. It’s saddening how far we as humans have fallen. The documentary also dubs into seal hunting in my home country of Canada. It also talk about (to me the most shocking) dolphin mass slaughter in one of my favorite countries – Japan and also talks about whaling which is done in great deal in another of my favorite countries – Iceland. So unfortunate so many great countries disregard the fact that animals have feelings. Animals experience fear and pain, more so than humans as many of their senses are developed better than same sense in humans, hence the experience of pain through these fine nerves is more intense.

Earthlings is definitely a great documentary that everyone should see. Prepare for a rollercoaster of images that will make you extremely sad and upset. It doesn’t help one bit that I have just seen another gut wrenching animal abuse video – Kenny Glenn beating and abusing cat Dusty. Not to mention that fail of humanity with chimpanzee in Connecticut I mention in my previous post that deals with the cartoon by Sean Delonas.

I truly feel like animals should really just gang up on us disgusting humans and exterminate us once and for all. We’re the scum of this Earth. We are the one destroying it and we’re also destroying these precious animal. Shame on us. We deserve the worst of punishments. Everybody, please watch Earthlings and reconsider what you eat, what you wear, what you use and what you watch for entertainment. Make adequate lifestyle changes for the better. These defenseless animals need it. If you don’t do it, then who will? Please

Earthlings Documentary – Animal Abuse Video narrated by Joaquin Phoenix is below:

Despite neverending animosity of Obama asskissers, more and more people are coming out of the closet as fearless knights in shiny armor to speak out what they really think about Barack Obama the Antichrist.

Well, the above was completely unrelated, but anyway – NY Post comic strip artist Sean Delonas stirred some waters today with his latest creation. Sean Delonas took on the story of a monkey chimp from Connecticut (I could not write about it, I was upset over several things – first of all, monkey chimps don’t belong in Connecticut, they belong in jungle and presently also in the Oval Office of the White House, so not only has this poor monkey been removed from his natural habitat, he was also subsequntly shot dead because of some dumb whore who got in his path) and mixed it up with the stimulus package of US president Barack Obama. The outcome is the comic strip picture above. Sean Delonas is the shit! Well, I mean he is, unless you have no sense of humor or like to pull the racist card. Sad if you fall within either category.

Needless to say, more monkeys (and I’m referring to people with no sense of humor or people who pull racial card whether there is a reason or not – in no way referring to African Americans) spoke out loud against it. First and foremost – the all embarassing Rev. Al Sharpton let his mouth aloose calling the cartoon “troubling at best”. Video interview with Al Sharpton by CNN is below.

On the other hand, there were some who defended the cartoon. Specifically, the boss of Sean Delonas, NY Post editor Col Allan insisted that the cartoon is a clear parody of a current news event. I understand that NY Post editor had to step out and speak in favor of his dedicated employee, which I believe Sean Delonas, but what he should have done is completely ignore Al Sharpton. That guy is a joke and is only stirring waters to draw more attention on himself. Just ignore the fucker. He’s clueless and helpless. Focus more on poor monkey and why it was in Connecticut in the first place and why it got shot dead. People are pathetic. We as humans fail. Let me not even start on the fact that it was us humans who elected the antichrist to be the president of the nation with most nuclear weapons. Scary shit!

Well, I kind of figured it would be this big, Mr. Barack Obama, but thanks for filling us in. And trust me, I know what it feels like having clit for penis. This picture of Barack Obama revealing the size of his penis was taken at a Caterpillar plant in East Peoria, Illinois. Barack Obama formerly showed up to talk about creating new jobs after Caterpillar announced it would fire 20,000 of their employees. Among all the sweet talk regarding global recession and what not, Barack Obama used hand signals to hint onlookers regarding his penis size.

I’m not having any of that. We all know men exaggerate when it comes to showing how big their dicks are. By my calculations, man of presidential ranks would exaggerate the dick size twice fold. That would mean what – Barack Obama’s penis is half inch long? I’m assuming that’s erect. No man talks about his flaccid size. Everyone talks erect.

I guess he could always say that he’s got huge penis, but for a smaller body. Maybe the size of Verne Troyer. Unless Barack Obama was talking about the size of his horns that he gets hidden every day before he goes public. That would actually make more sense than penis. I don’t even know anymore. I don’t work for Caterpillar, I was not at that meeting. I can only guess what Mr. president was referring to. But I swear next time there is a picture of Michelle Obama showing the same size with her fingers, then we’ll know for sure how big a penis Barack Obama has.

Barack Obama pic by Scott Olson, Getty Images North America

Amy Fisher, one of the most famous female criminals who committed a crime of love and became known as Long Island Lolita already has enough experience whoring herself out. A sex tape titled Amy Fisher Caught On Tape became an instant hit and remains one of the most sought after celebrity sex tapes. Amy also got to understand how proper promotion for celebrity sex tapes works – she co-operated hand in hand with the distributor of the Amy Fisher Caught On Tape – Red Light District and pretended she was gonna sue them, just to get attention of media and receive world wide coverage. Following fake law suit propaganda, Amy Fisher set up a Sex Tape release party and invited all media representatives. She knows how it works in show business already, but her star is beginning to fade away and that’s not what Amy want. So what does a whore girl do? She consider switching career to become a high paid stripper.

That makes sense. Someone who made a career out of shooting Mary Jo Buttafuoco in the face and subsequently turned it into making herself a porn star will not go to work 9 – 5 shifts, right? So before her tits completely sag below her pussy level, Amy Fisher is gonna take on the path of a high paid stripper pole dancer. Joey Buttafuoco doesn’t approve, I suppose… but who cares about that old fuck anyway? Lou Bellara on the other hand just keeps his mouth shot. He got to fuck Long Island Lolita. What more could he ask for. I’d fuck her. She’s kind of hot. Even as a MILF she is now.

Good luck to Amy Fisher with her new career of a high paid stripper. According to Page Six, she’s going to be polishing stripper poles until fans tell her to put her clothes back on. That ain’t gonna happen anytime soon. It doesn’t matter how old she gets – there is only one Long Island Lolita, only one Amy Fisher who did not hesitate to shoot Mary Jo Buttafuoco in the face to keep Joey Buttafuoco’s cock for herself. Everyone will want to see her pussy for as long as there are no crabs crawling out of it while she’s on stage. Amy will do good as stripper. I just hope she take a tour through Canada. I’d love to throw some Loonies at her cooch. There’s nothing like having a failed murderer shake her bare hips in front of your nose for change.

If you haven’t seen Amy Fisher Sex Tape, go straight to Amy Fisher Caught on Tape official site!

It took me a sec to recognize Mel Gibson behind his Halloween mask. Pretty good way to embody d’Artagnan, but where’s his hat and cape? Wait… that’s a real chin strip and mustache Mel Gibson is wearing. That’s not a mask. He’s actually sporting a brand new look. I actually got to say he looks good. Maybe I’m just jealous cause after 34 years on the planet, I still have not developed proper ability to grow mustaches. My pubes aren’t worth growing cause they just make me look like John Travolta.

On a second thought, yeah I’m diggin’ Mel’s new look. It’s awesome. I’ve actually looked up all various beard styles that men wear. At least Mel Gibson is wearing manly trim. Can’t say that about Adnan Ghalib and his landing strip. So gay and Britney Spears wiped her vagina into it.

Seriously, what are the chances of two subs colliding in the Atlantic Ocean? If there were a grand total of two cars in the entire world and you are the owner of one of them. What are the chances of you colliding with that other car that can be just about anywhere in the world? Plus consider this – the movement of cars is two dimensional. You can only go forward and backwards, or left and right. You can’t go up and down (not talking about hills). Nuclear submarines of British and French armies managed to collide in Atlantic. The space within Atlantic, the three dimensional space that’s available for these nuclear subs is massive. And they still managed to collide. I’m just as short for explanation as you are. Do you think it has anything to do with Brits driving on the left

I’d be embarrassed out of my socks if I managed to collide with another nuclear sub that’s in the ocean when I am. That reminds me of the line in Finding Nemo – “What? The ocean’s not big enough for you?” Apparently it’s not big enough for French and British sub army. Tug of war does not quite work when you operate a sub, so they tried to batter each other. Their radar operator should really attend another training… Perhaps they also should include a lesson on distinguishing friendly subs from whales.

Here’s what happened – HMS Vanguard, the nuclear sub of British army and Le Triomphant, the nuclear sub of French army collided with each other within Atlantic Ocean and sustained heavy damage. As per First Sea Lord Admiral Sir Jonathon Band, no injuries were reported as both subs were floating about at low speeds. Both British and French sides confirmed that no nuclear security issues will rise from this collision. Considering each of the subs carries several nuclear war heads, if the collision was stronger, we’d have an under water nuclear explosion which would have insane implications. I can’t even think of what would happen to the sea life and to people living on shores of both sides of the Atlantic. They say tsunamis are result of deep sea earthquakes. If several dozen nuclear warheads exploded, we’d see a tsunami of epic proportions. Someone should start explaining how is it possible that submarines carrying weapons of mass destruction collided in the middle of Atlantic Ocean – world’s second largest body of water.

HMS VANGUARD Nuclear Sub Stats:
Launched in 1992
One of four British submarines carrying Trident nuclear missiles
Displacement (submerged) 16,000 tones, 150m (492ft) long
Can carry 48 nuclear warheads on a maximum of 16 missiles
Full crew is 145, including 14 officers
Submerged speed of 25 knots

LE TRIOMPHANT Nuclear Sub Stats:
Launched in 1994
One of four French ballistic missile nuclear-powered subs
Displacement (submerged) 14,000 tones, 138m (452ft) long
Can carry 16 ballistic missiles with nuclear warheads
Full crew is 110, including 15 officers
Submerged speed over 25 knots

Source: BBC News