Beer Steak Bullshit

Yeah, bitches got married. Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen have been bumping genitals like there’s no tomorrow and yesterday they sealed the deal and joined their genital juices exchange in holy matrimony.

That basically seals the deal with me and Gisele Bundchen. I’m no longer jacking off to that ho. Anyone who spreads their pussy for a dick of a football player is hands down dumb. I mean comon – sex with a football player is likely as exciting as football itself. Gisele was probably using sex with Tom Brady as nap time: “Hey dear, can come fuck me, I could use a little nap”!

According to reports, Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen and New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady got married at the St. Monica Catholic Church in Santa Monica, less than a mile from beach in a small and intimate ceremony on Thursday. Neither Tom Brady nor Gisele Bundchen had been married before. This is their first time. You can call them marriage virgins. Or n00bs if you rather. Gratz!

Sergey Tuganov is the shit. This fine lad died of sex… literally. I send my highest regards to the seventh heaven you became an honorable citizen of. Sergey Tuganov, hats off to you. May 77 lusty virgins suck on your cock forever.

What went down is a story to behold. Sergey Tuganov, 28 year old Russian was not getting enough sex. His two female friends were teasing him about it and made a bet that that he would not be able to fuck them for 12 hours straight. Lusty Russian bitches if you ask me. Sergey Tuganov took them up on the bet, there was $4,300 and two hot bitches at stake. Of course he would have taken them on that shit. Wouldn’t you fuck two bitches for 12 hours to win yourself nice cash? Hell yeah. I’d pay for that shit… if I weren’t fat as fuck and could actually locate my dick.

In order to support his little fella and keep him hard for 12 hours, Sergey Tuganov swallowed whole bottle of Viagra. Little fella did not let him down and drilled into cervixes of two frigid Russian bitches for 12 hours. Sergey Tuganov won the bet, got himself more action in 12 hours than me and you will have in our whole lives and then… few minutes later, suffered from massive heart attack and died. Seriously, he just wanted to fuck some more and bitches were exhausted so he went to fuck heaven where he will be able to fuck bitches 24/7. No Viagra needed.

Sergey Tuganov is my hero of the day. Seriously, his name should be put in science books – a man who died fucking.

This beauty queen is Elaine Davidson – The World’s Most Pierced Woman. I have nothing against beauty queens, but Elaine Davidson does it for all the wrong reasons. Bitch purposefully gets new piercings with sole intentions to break the world record and make her mark in The Guinness Book of World Records. Bitch doesn’t even like piercings. That screams “desperate attention whore” at me. Get a life, Elaine Davidson (was gonna say “grow a cock” but it didn’t go very well).

Elaine Davidson had 462 piercings in 2000. Come 2009, her piercing count sprang up to 6,005! This would normally get me impressed. It’s always an added bonus to go down on girl and find one more thing to play with on her clit. But Elaine Davidson is doing it all wrong. She probably has 7 piercings on her clit, but doesn’t enjoy any of them. I’d expect more form the world’s most pierced woman. BTW, out of 6,005 piercings Elaine Davidson has, 1500 are internal. Those are probably similar to bumps you see on dicks of some stunt cocks when you watch free on line porn. You do watch online porn right?

“I don’t enjoy getting pierced, but to break the record you have to get to a high level. I wanted to break the record.” – these are the worlds of Elaine Davidson – The World’s Most Pierced Woman. How pathetic. Especially the “I don’t enjoy getting pierced” part. She probably doesn’t even enjoy getting dick pierced in the ass, but would do it for money. Did the same word come to your mind as did to mine? Whore!

Brazilian born Elaine Davidson lives in Edinburgh, Scotland (a must visit city in August for Fringe Festival – yeah, I sometimes have life, I was there few years back) and works as a nurse. The world’s most pierced woman is a nurse? Really? Maybe all she does in the hospital are enemas. Where do I sign up?

Check out the video about Elaine Davidson – The World’s Most Pierced Woman below:

That dude in the picture with Megan Fox is Brian Austin Green and he grabs at Megan’s ass no more. Megan Fox did what every hot chick should do – dump her boyfriend’s ass so nice dudes like me and you can get their shot at that ass. I’d even shower if Megan Fox let me stick my hairy moobs between her ass cheeks. Yeah, Megan Fox is single and available to suck on a new dick. Imagine those luscious lips wrapping around your cock… fap, fap, fap. To celebrate the Ash Wednesday and the singleness of Megan Fox, Beer Steak Bullshit Blog brings you the picture gallery of this hot piece.

For your information, the news of Megan Fox breaking up with Brian Austin Green was first released by US Weekly. The report says that their relationship had run its course. Of course it had, she must have stumbled upon my blog, immediately fell in love with me, broke up with her boyfriend and is now eagerly awaiting my call. Hot Megan Fox Picture Gallery is below. Don’t fap at work, m’kay?

Yes, I’m pissed off again and rightly so. Why the fuck would shit like that never happen to me when I was 15? Why would there never be a hot teacher willing to suck on my cock when I just started growing pubes. Hot teacher cougars let any 15 year old student drilled them in the ass and I had to wait till I was 20 to get my first whizz of pussy. Life’s not fair, not one bit. Damn…

Lisa Lavoie got herself arrested for potentially rubbing genital juices with a 15 year old student. Lisa is 24 year old first year teacher who went off the hook and introduced the boy to joys of relationships with an experienced woman and all that it brings. The kid probably got more sex in a few days that I get in years. Life ain’t fair.

Mother of a 15 year old boy from Holyoke, Massachusetts who’s a student at Maurice Donahue Elementary School was concerned about her son’s relationship with Lisa Lavoie and contacted the police – way to make your son hate you till the end of your days, mom. He’s gonna let you die in a senior house, abandoned with diapers full of shit. That’s what you get for not letting him pass on his sperm in the ass of a hot teacher. You don’t do that as a mother. If you care for your son, you let him ass fuck teachers. It’s for his best. I would have loved to do that when I was 15.

Three days after mother reported the shit to the police, the boy went missing. That’s a clear sign showing what the boy (he cannot be named) thinks about his mother. He wanted some pussy, mother put hers in the way. Boy chose more pussy and ran away with Lisa Lavoie. He’s got lots of sperm to give away, don’t be mad at him.

Sadly, the police tracked them down and found them in a hotel room in Morgantown, West Virginia. Lisa Lavoie is in custody and was charged by investigators with “enticement of a child”. This broad term apparently includes statutory rape charges. Shit! If convicted, Lisa Lavoie could lose her license to teach in the state of Massachusetts (no biggie, there are 15 year olds in other states to fuck) because she’s only been with Maurice Donahue Elementary School for 5 months.

NECN video about Lisa Lavoie situation is below:

Look at this:

• Joan Tuckruskye – PTA Official Busted for Sex with 13 Year Old
• Victoria Ann Chacon – Why Did I Not Have a Teacher Like That?
• Rachel Holt – Female Pedophile Teacher from Delaware

The wedding took place on Sunday, February 22, 2009 and it fulfilled her dream. 9 year old Jayla Cooper married 7 year old Jose Griggs in a holy matrimony to become husband and wife. And no, this is not a story from Middle East, this stiry is from Texas. And no, Jayla Cooper did not become a 9 Year Old Bride because of some weird religious rites.

When Jayla Cooper was 7 year old, she was diagnosed with leukemia. By now, according to her doctors, she’s reached the end of her journey on Earth and could be called up to the higher grounds anytime. Since her dreadful diagnosis, Jayla Cooper has barely spent any time at home. It was during her 2 years stay at the Children’s Medical Center for Cancer and Blood Disorders in Dallas, Texas when she met Jose Griggs, another leukemia patient. The two are now husband and wife, as per wish of Jayla Cooper, the 9 Year Old Bride. This wish is likely one of very last wishes in her life. And it has been fulfilled.

7 Year Old Groom Jose Griggs is having a tought time dealing with this. He himself is a recovering leukemia patient who’s developed strong feelings for Jayla Cooper over last two years. He doesn’t want to see her go. Leukemia is a bad disease

Video from the wedding ceremony with 9 Year Old Bride Jayla Cooper and 7 Year Old Groom Jose Griggs is below:

Jayla Cooper and Jose Griggs Image Credit: Livermore Photography

Ever heard of Fish Pedicure? Me neither. But then again, I’ve never even had regular pedicure done in my life. I don’t think I’d be able to afford it. My ogre feet stink and have huge nails, I’d be charged extra for that crap.

Fish Pedicure is a procedure in which you stick your foot, hand or any other body part in an aquarium full of fish and let them nibble on the dead skin, ridding you of that aging burden. As it could be expected, fish pedicure originated in Asia and has been making its way to North America, but it looks like you will still have to fly across the pond to get that type of treatment. The Florida Board of Cosmetology has banned Fish Pedicure and their example was followed other states. The ban cam before anyone got a chance to offer this service.

I kind of thought the ban of fish pedicure would have something to do with unethical treatment of animals – poor things would have to swim in the water where you put your stinking foot, never mind eating toxic sweat of your deformed feet. But I was wrong – the banning had precious nothing to do with poor fishes. Florida banned Fish Pedicure, because there isn’t a way to safely disinfect the bowl between uses. Hah, so sticking your foot in a fish tank poisoned by previous user’s foot would not be allowed, but poisoning fish with that foot would be OK. Logic! I feel for the fishes, they always get the shitty end of the stick.

If you get on Google Maps (or Google Earth) you may be able to find these rectangular shapes deep in the Atlantic Ocean. Could this be the greatest discovery made by stupid Google satellites? Could this be the discovery of the lost city of Atlantis? People were searching for Atlantis for centuries, we have had insane technology at our disposal for decades, were we all waiting for stupid Google Earth to eventually get the lost city of Atlantis discovered? Could it be this easy?

The rectangular shapes within Atlantic Ocean can be seen on Google Maps at 31 15′15.53N, 24 15′30.53W coordinates. It’s about 600 miles off western coast of Morocco, not too far from Canary Islands. You can use the embedded view of Atlantic Ocean to zoom in and out and see for yourself. Does this look like the lost city of Atlantis to you? It sure looks like rectangular shapes, something you don’t see at the bottom of an ocean. Geee, Google Maps must have discovered Atlantis, I swear.

According to Twitter (I’m straight hence I don’t use Twitter), term “Atlantis” has been the most sought for and most wrote about on Friday last week. Maybe it’s a key term to some new homosexual activity. Considering 99% of Twitter users are homos, it would make sense.

Google representative apparently popped the party bubble and destroyed all dreams of wannabe Atlantis discoverers by saying that those shapes at the bottom of Atlantic Ocean are “artifact of the data collection process” – come again? “Artifact of the data collection process”? What the fuck is the dude talking about? Does he use Twitter too?

Greek philosopher Plato described the lost city of Atlantis and according to experts (probably Twitter users) the location of rectangles at the bottom of Atlantic Ocean as pictures by Google maps is a possible site of the legendary island. According to Plato, Atlantis was an island larger than Libya and Asia famous for its wealth and advanced civilization.

This is the famous, notorious, coveted Get a Brain, Morans pic – full edition, including the Go USA sign. The Get a Brain, Morans guy was at a pro-war get together aimed at countering the anti war protest in St. Louis, Missouri on March 23, 2003. And just as you would expect from any pro war moran, he was a complete tool. The picture captures pure essence of pro war morans better than anything ever. The Go USA only adds to the whole ridiculousness.

This is what went down on that epic day:

Pro peace, anti war activists got together – about 350 of them and marched peacefully towards the Boeing missile factory in St. Charles, MO. Pro peace protesters had civilian weapons inspectors among their ranks who demanded access to the plant to inspect the weapons of mass destruction that US government had produced there. Inspectors were denied entry, so the protesters sat in front of the main gate to the Boeing plant to protest the denial.

To show their support for bloodshed, about 75 pro war morans countered pro peace folks who were silently sitting at the gate. Pro war morans were yelling insults at the protesters and that one guy pulled out his epic sign that read: Get a Brain, Morans. His other sign read: Go USA. Way to immortalize yourself, moran!

This hilarious video demonstrates how pathetic some US soldiers who made it to Iraq are. One insecure US Marine got an ass itch and was looking for a gay lover to massage his prostate. Nobody wanted to show their dick into his hairball, he got pissed off and unleashed this verbal diarrhea on lined up Iraqi police. Moran completely went off on those Iraqi police like they gave a flying fuck about his insecurities. Dude, if you have asshole so hairy it rolls into hairballs before your eyes, nobody will want to massage your prostate. That’s just gross. Deal with it. Don’t take it on a bunch of scared dudes. So you showed them that you can scream and have issues. They went home and still think you have small dick. What did you gain?

Seriously, if I were Iraqi police and moran like that would show off in front of me with lame ass tirade like this, I’d support militia too. I’d want that stink ass doodle mouth fag out of my country too. I’d fucking become a suicide bomber just so i don’t have to listen to his moronic compensation for insecurities. These people did not ask you to come and invade their country. You may be pretending you’re saving Iraq, but you’re occupying it, plain and simple. So shut your filth hole motherfucker and go fuck your goat back home with the rest of your insecure buddies.