Beer Steak Bullshit

Bakhtawar Bhutto Zardari is a daughter of Former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto who was assassinated on December 27, 2007 in Pakistani town of Rawalpindi. One year after her mother’s assassination, Bakhtawar Bhutto Zardari released a hip hop song to pay tribute to her mom. The song is titled “I Would Take the Pain Away” and is quickly becoming a hit on YouTube.

Sean “Diddy” Combs, who met Bakhtawar Bhutto Zardari shortly before her mother was assassinated collaborated with her on the song. The video for “I Would Take the Pain Away” includes footage of Benazir Bhutto’s assassination, but is primarily focusing on her accomplishments as a high profile political figure and mother.

18 year old Bakhtawar Bhutto Zardari who is a university student in Edinburgh is not looking to make career in hip hop. “I Would Take the Pain Away” is simply meant to be an anniversary song to commemmorate her mother’s death. Asif Ali Zardari, father of Bakhtawar Bhutto has been the president of Pakistan since last September.

Bakhtawar Bhutto Zardari Anniversary Song for her Mother’s Assassination is in a video below

Bakhtawar Bhutto Zardari Photo credit: Associated Press (AP)

Hugh Hefner continues his charade with incredibly useless blonds. Crystal Harris is the latest on the long list of worthless girlfriend whores who would suck old man’s dick cause they’re useless to do anything worth while.

Crystal Harris has been desperately trying to draw attention to herself by sucking on Hef’s little toe for a while, but mostly in vain. Hef had other worthless blondes by his side at the time – Kendra Wilkinson, Bridget Marquardt and Holly Madison sucked out as much as they could out of Playboy owner but when your name is Hugh Hefner, you can only stand one blonde for so long. When the trio of skanks departed, they were swiftly replaced by twin gold diggers Kristina and Karissa Shannon. Crystal Harris entered the scene at that time as well, but remained obscure… until today.

The 22 year old Crystal Harris slammed her fist on the table and said: “Enough. I’m as blonde and plastic as they get. I want my share of attention.” You’re dream comes true, Crystal. The purpose of your life – being a whore that sucks on the mummy penis of Hugh Hefner – is hereby accomplished. May you live in peace.

Way to make a name for yourself… Liskula Cohen, a model who appeared on front page of Vogue and modeled for some of world’s top designers, such as Gianni Versace or Giorgio Armani is suing Google because some celebrity blogger who hosts his blog on Google owned Blogger.com called her a #1 Skank. Skank is as skank does. Liskula Cohen is just a fucking desperate attention whore and needs to shut the fuck up!

36 year old Liskula Cohen who’s originally from Toronto lists her relationship status on Friendster as “Single” (check out her profile HERE but mute your speakers unless you want to barf out your breakfast. She’s got some lame music playing there). Obviously, MILF in her mid 30’s who’s still single is going through menopause midlife crisis bitchfest. She just needs a big hard dildo up her ass, that’ll shut her up.

Blogger whom Liskula Cohen is after called her for who she is – an old hag and a #1 skank. He also added that Liskula Cohen is a desperate forty something who may have been hot 10 year ago. I agree with parts of it. Obviously, one part I don’t agree with is a “forty something” comment. Dude, she’s fucking 36. Old hags give good head.

All pissed off and shit, Liskula Cohen is suing Google and wants them to give her the name of the blogger so she can show him she’s not a skank. Good times ahead. Maybe she just wants to track him down so she can milk the shit out of his dick for being the only blogger who still blogs about her. Wait…

Actually, I wouldn’t mind getting sued by Liskula Cohen. It may get me into some real shit, but it could also get me laid. Imagine the press I’d get. Hot bitches would be throwing their vaginas at my face. I’d actually get some real pussy for a change.

Ever wondered what size vagina Britney Spears had? Now you can find out, just head over to her Twitter (who the hell uses Twitter nowadays?) and check it out. Some loser bigger than me (would never believe there is one) hacked Britney Spears’ Twitter and posted the funny on there. I don’t ever get laid, but I still can at least jerk off to free online porn, but losers from basements who never see daylight and can’t even get it hard are uber pathetic. This hacker screams at me with being one. Dude – if you can beat me at sucking, you know you truly are the shit!

This who effect is quadrupled by the fact that the loser uses twitter. I’ve never even been to Twitter. Beat that. Except from now of course, that I went to check out Britney Spears and her hacked account. BTW, if you haven’t figured that shit out, it’s on http://www.twitter.com/britneyspears. The day I join Twitter is the day I can’t get my dick hard. When there is no jerking off to porn, then lame bullshit like Twitter comes to be.

Above is the pic of the priceless screenshot of what the awesomeness looked like when Britney Spears Twitter was Hacked.

This is the video of that epic fight between Sharon Osbourne and Megan Hauserman everybody is talking about. Sharon Osbourne just met with Megan Hauserman after six months of Rock of Love, Charm School Reunion reality show, Megan Hauserman let her filthy whore mouth aloose and Sharon Osbourne put the ho in place.

Megan Hauserman seemed somewhat drunk and likely was. She was interrupting everyone by forcing her stupid blonde haired mug into people’s faces and kept raising her hands up like she’s a winner and accompanied all that with an obnoxious shriek. She was tolerated up to the moment she threw verbal shit at Ozzy Osbourne at which point Sharon stood up, picked up a glass of water, threw it at skank’s face and ripped her blond hair off her stupid head. Most of it is not seen in the video as production crew and security personnel swarmed the area trying to break the fight, but it’s satisfying enough just to know that Sharon Osbourne put Megan Hauserman in place. As the fight calmed down, Sharon said to the cameras: “They can fuck with me, I don’t give a shit. But not my family”. Right on Sharon. Respect!

Simply put – Sharon Osbourne ended Megan Hauserman’s two minutes of fame with style. The skank shut her dumb mouth and had nothing more to say. Not even when TMZ paparazzi caught up with her later that day (video HERE).

Latest reports suggest that the police was involved and investigation is in progress. Obviously, Megan Hauserman is looking to extend her attention whoring by pulling off the cry baby stunt. Stupid skank should go to where she came from – sucking small town mechanics’ cocks for cigs.

Giselle Salandy is a female boxing champion from Trinidad and Tobago. If she punched me in the mug, I’d cry for three days.

Giselle Salandy was born in on January 25, 1987 in Siparia and started boxing when she was 11. I was serious when I said I’d cry for three days if she delivered a punch to my gut. Giselle had a successful boxing career going for her having won a total of eight international boxing titles, including the most prestigious female boxing championships, such as World Boxing Council (WBC), World Boxing Association (WBA) and Women’s International Boxing Association (WIBA).

Giselle Salandy defended her World Boxing Council title last Boxing Day against Yahaira Hernandez from Dominican Republic moving her win count up to 17. During her professional boxing career, Giselle Salandy lost a grand total of zero (none, not one) fight. She was in it for the winning and win she did. Each time.

Sadly, Giselle Salandy will remain undefeated forever, her professional boxing record unchanged. Following bad car crash earlier today on the Beetham Highway in Trinidad, Giselle Salandy sustained severe bodily trauma and that claimed the life of this 21 year old boxing sensation.

Reports from Trinidad and Tobago indicate that Giselle Salandy was driving to Port of Spain in a Toyota Yaris (tiny vehicle). There was another passenger in the car with her – Trinidad and Tobago female football player Tamar Watson. At around 7am on January 4, 2009 the vehicle crashed into a concrete post on a side of the road on the outskirts of Port of Spain. Giselle Salandy and Tamar Watson were rushed to the hospital, but despite all efforts of the medical team to revive the boxing champion, she succumbed to her injuries one and a half hour after the car crash. Tamar Watson is still undergoing surgery treatment.

RIP Giselle Salandy

Jett Travolta is, actually was the son of John Travolta and Kelly Preston. It is with big sadness that I have to announce the passing of this young boy. Jett Travolta was 16 year old and some speculate that he may have suffered from autism which could be the reason why he’s now dead. Jett Travolta died during family vacation in the Bahamas.

There is hardly anything more boring than family get together, including family vacations, but in this case it really doesn’t matter. Jett Travolta was last seen yesterday night going into the bathroom in the Old Bahama Bay Hotel suit that The Travoltas rented. His dead body was discovered at 10am today by Jeff Michael Kathrein – his caretaker.

According to the attorney Michael Ossi, Jett Travolta suffered a seizure, fell and hit his head on the bathtub causing head trauma that killed him. Once his body was discovered, paramedics attempted to revive the boy, but it was all in vain. According to his attorney, Jett Travolta had a history of seizures. That’s pretty shitty – being 16 year old and having such health problems

Some speculations from the past suggested that Jett Travolta was autistic, but John Travolta strictly denied the claims of autism and threatened everyone who was spreading aurism rumors with law suits like there was no tomorrow. Media responded by blaming John for denial over his son’s condition and trusting Scientology to solve the autistic problems. John Travolta always claimed that it was not autism Jett was suffering from, but Kawasaki Syndrome. According to Jett’s mom Kelly Preston, a detox program by L. Ron Hubbard improved her son’s condition but blamed their household cleaners for his on going problems. She never admitted autism either.

Exact cause of Jett Travolta’s death will be determined by the autopsy that is being performed. What a terrible way to start a new year for The Travoltas. Church of Scientology does not believe in autism, mental problems and psychoactive drugs. Speculations are not going rampant all over the internet that John may have killed Jett Travolta by denying him the treatment for autism. I find it all a big pile of hogwash, but who knows.

Jeff Michael Kathrein – a guy who found Jett Travolta dead is rumored to be John Travolta’s gay lover. RIP Jett Travolta.

The bitch-fest bitches who stirred shit at Turks and Caicos airport last year are finally finding the way to let the crap go and move on with their lives. According to Calvin Chase – the Police Sgt from Turks and Caicos, charges against both Bianca Golden and Nikki Blonsky have been dropped. Bitches got each other a Christmas present.

As you may remember, Hairspray actress Nikki Blonsky got into a bitch fight with America’s Next Top Model ho Bianca Golden at Turks and Caicos last year. Big family brawl erupted and bitches got arrested. Bianca Golden went to bitch about it on the Tyra Bank Show and said Carl Blonsky, Nikki’s father beat the shit out of her mommy who had to be taken to hospital. Nikki responded by calling Bianca Golden a liar. Carl Blonsky remains busted with charges against him pending. If convicted, he could be facing up to five years in prison.

All charges against both Bianca Golden and Nikki Blonsky have been dropped, even though no reasons as to why were released. I know why… Bitches got drunk, ended up sleeping with each other and enjoyed mutual vagina rubs. That shit drops any charges.

There is no doubt Robbie Maddison got laid last night. He got lucky big time, but screw that shit. Did you saw the ho that was gonna suck on his dick? She’s an ugly fug. Ewww, so much for a 100 foot drop on a motorcycle, Robbie Maddison if all you got out of that was that ugly whore blowing your junk.

This video of a crazy motorcycle stunt pulled off by Robbie Maddison was broadcast live on New years Eve 2008 as part of Red Bull No Limit New Years Eve show (copyright ESPN 2009). Robbie Maddison jumped on top of a building riding his motorcycle and then jump down 100 feet on a platform below where an ugly fake whore was wating for him giving him signs that she was gonna swallow his man juice in whole tonight. Dude risked his fucking life and gets laid with a fug. Great job, duche. Nice stant though.

Happy New Year to all of my wonderful readers for putting up with my lame ass during 2008 and making Beer Steak Bullshit blog a success. You guys rock. You also get laid more than I do. May your genital juices get lots of loving in 2009 and may herpes stay away from you and jump on everyone who doesn’t want to fuck with you. This one’s gonna one hell of a year. PF 2009

Laura Louie is not a new ho in Woody Harrelson’s life. The two have been together for 20 years and have three kids – Denni Montana, 15, Zoe Giordano, 12 and Makani Ravello. But it was only after 20 whole years that Woody Harrelson and Laura Louie sealed their relationship in a holy matrimony and got married. The wedding took place in Maui, Hawaii with just a small group of friends and family. Alanis Morissette graced their wedding ceremony with her singing in presence of a few Hollywood stars, including Sean Penn, Willie Nelson and Owen Wilson. So Laura Louie is a wifey now. Afterall she’s 43 year old – just about time for marriage certificate.

Laura Louie met with Woody Harrelson in 1987. She was his personal assistant at the time while he was working on a TV show Cheers and they’ve been together as a couple since. They both now live in Maui, Hawaii as part of 200 member sustainable community. That’s absolutely awesome. They are both fans of yoga and run a website focused on increasing awareness and protesting against air soil and water pollution. Laura Louie also co-owns organic food delivery company Yoganics.

Sounds like Laura Louie and Woody Harrelson found great purpose on Earth and are gonna live happy and healthy lives. I’m totally envious.

Laura Louie and Woody Harrelson photo credit: WENN