Beer Steak Bullshit

Svetlana Pankratova is the woman with world’s longest legs. Her height is not as impressive (even though it is), it’s just the sheer ratio of legs vs upper body. Legs win no contest.

Guinness Book of World’s Records did series of pictures with Svetlana Pankratova and He Pingping from China – world’s smallest man in London, UK yesterday to celebrate the launch of their new book release. Check out the pictures on World’s Longest Legs vs World’s Smallest Man on that link.

He Pingping is world’s shortest man who can walk – according to the Guinness Book of World’s Records.

Svetlana Pankratova Biography

36 year old, long legged Russian is Volgograd born, but lives in Costa del Sol, Spain – where she’s a real estate broker. She lives there with her boyfriend who’s 6′1″ tall, Svetlana Pankratova says she doesn’t mind dating shorter men

I wonder how her real estate brokerage business does. I’m guessing it does pretty good, I mean – I’d sign any paper if someone this size handed me the pen.

Svetlana Pankratova says she enjoys the fame the record in the Guinness Book brings and loves her long legs, but it’s hard to find clothes that she could wear. Especially the pants.

Svetlana Pankratova Height

Svetlana Pankratova is a little over 6-foot-4. As such, she in NOT the tallest woman in the world. That title still belongs to Yao Defen.

Svetlana Pankratova Leg Lenght

Saved the best for last. The legs of Svetlana Pankratova are 52 inches long. That means her legs themselves are more than 4 feet tall. There’s a long way to go if you want to start with toe licking and make your way to her vagina.

Below is the video of Svetlana Pankratova and He PingPing in front of the National Gallery on Trafalgar Square in London as part of latest Guinness Book of World Record release.

Svetlana Pankratova and He PingPing Image Credit: Wenn

Pink - Funhouse Album Cover Art

Pink has not retired from music yet? I hope she’s not trying to be a sex symbol of new teen generation. I’m not a teen no more, but I’m pretty sure they don’t give a stinking dump about 68 year olds anymore. Pink doesn’t care obviously, which is not necessarily a bad thing as I like her bare foot stretched out like that. That’s her newly unveiled cover art for the upcoming album titles Funhouse.

Singer Pink, whose real name is real name Alecia Moore managed to make Funhouse an album about her personal shit again. The marriage to motocross star Carey Hart that went into shitter is covered back and forth in Funhouse like anyone cares.

Pink insisted that they are insanely in love with each other and that their love is forever and always and some girly shit like that. What is the dumb whore 16? She should wake the fuck up and grow up. There ain’t no love.

Beth Ostrosky, she the hot piece of ass that Howard Stern gets to bone. Life’s definitely not fair.

Beth Ostrosky was born to a mother who was a professional model and she wanted to whore herself up on a cat-walk just the same. Living in Pittsburg didn’t quite cut it, so she moved to New York where there are more golden penises to suck. Some people in New York have so much money, they shoot dollar bills out of their dicks when they cum. It’s true. Ask Beth Ostrosky!

Well, something definitely worked out, cause Beth Ostrosky was able to score an acting job alongside Ben Stiller in Flirting with Disaster. Later Beth scored yet better role in Whipped and got herself started as successful swimwear model. Then she joined genital juices with Howard stern and has been his fiancee since.

Beth Ostrosky and Howard Stern met at some white collar party of sorts that neither of them was supposed to attend, but auntie Faith called in and dragged their asses there, they hooked up, fingered each others anal cavity and have been participating in poop exchange as fiancee couple since. Nah, I’m just fucking jealous cause mofo Howard Stern gets handjobs from Beth Ostrosky. I really don’t know what they do in their spare time. Probably play chess. Chess is actually a fantastic foreplay. Gets you all heated up for Sudoku.

No, you’re not the only one who’s never heard of Olivia Wilde. I’m just as lost here. And if it wasn’t for Megan Fox who said she’d like to rub pussy juices with Olivia Wilde she would have never come to anyone’s attention. Actually, she was getting there.

An otherwise unknown actress Olivia Wilde has been making her rounds and getting noticed by playing Dr Remy Hadley on the TV show called House. Don’t ask me, I don’t watch those stupid TV series for girls 11 year old or younger. I’m all grown up, I can even masturbate with my left hand already.

Megan Fox, who stared in transformers said she feels like strangling a mountain goat when she sees Olivia Wilde. She attached some form of sexual pod text to it and also listed Jenna Jameson as her fantasy partner is mutual pussy rubbing. I sense a sex tape threesome with Olivia Wilde, Jenna Jameson and Megan Fox. Tito Ortiz can be the producer. Jenna will foot fuck the two. I’d totally jerk off to that. I’d jerk off to Megan Fox doing that mountain goat, cause that’s how I roll.

Check out really bad quality video with Olivia Wilde on Regis and Kelly below.

PS – I’m not sure who took that sexy picture of Olivia Wilde posted above. If you know who it is, let me know so I can credit.

File this under “Sadness”. Us swimmer Margaret Hoelzer was sexually abused as a child – as revealed in an exclusive interview with Associated Press.

Margaret Hoelzer is a three time Olympic medalist from Beijing. She won silver medal in the 200 meter backstroke, another silver in the 4×100 medley relay and a bronze in the 100 meter backstroke. I need my back stroked… Anyone?

In a sad revelation, 25 year old Margaret Hoelzer told Associated Press that sexual abuse by her Playmate’s father started when she was 5 and may have gone on for two years. Margaret would visit her friend often and stayed overnight at times. Because she was little, she didn’t realize she was actually being sexually abused. The crap stopped when they moved.

When Margaret Hoelzer was 11 she confessed about it to her best friend who insisted she talks to her mom about it and that was when the awful truth poured out. I can’t imagine how it must feel when your little daughter tells you that year ago she was molested by her friend’s dad. I’d probably stuff my back pack with a blow torch, a baseball bat and a katana sword and would go back to where we lived before to put medieval on that fucker’s ass.

After Margaret Hoelzer told her mom about abuse from years ago, mom told dad and they contacted the police. Alleged molester was arrested, but because of non existent evidence (Margaret Hoelzer wasn’t raped, just abused – and I’m using word “just” lightly), and because she was so little at a time and so many years have passed since, he was never formally charged.

That doesn’t matter though. Karma doesn’t heed human courtrooms. Fucker’s gonna get what’s coming to him. Maybe something colorful is waiting for him around the corner – like snake biting his peen off.

Oprah Winfrey is a big supporter of Barack Obama and as such she’d denied Republican VP Sarah Palin on her show. The Florida Federation of Republican Women responded to it by launching a nation wide Oprah Boycott, urging all women to stop watching The Oprah Show and Cancel their O Magazine subscriptions.

To be honest, I’m not a woman, I’ve never watched Oprah and I’ve never been subscribed to her magazine. I guess I’ve been a diligent boycotter my whole life. If you look at it – I understand Oprah Winfrey is the most successful person in the show business, earning millions of dollars per fart, but I can’t stand listening to mid-aged women in real life. I wouldn’t want to listen to another one on the TV. Seriously, I’ve never watched a single minute of The Oprah Winfrey Show. When it comes to me, I’m easy to join any boycott. I ain’t got no life, I’m probably already boycotting everything you can think of.

Florida Federation of Republican Women (FFRW) claims that Barack Obama appeared on The Oprah Show twice yet before he accepted his nomination. Oprah has always been an obvious supporter of Barack Obama and when Governor Sarah Palin, Republican Vice presidential candidate asked to appear on her show, she was turned down. Totally shown middle finger and all. That upset many women across America and the response is – Oprah Boycott. Right on!

Many Obama worshippers responded to Oprah Boycott by pulling the freedom of speech card. I find that laughable. Yes, if Oprah can have her freedom of speech, then women of America can have their boycott. What are Obama fanboys so upset about? Or do they just want the laws that favor them to be in effect and all other to be not?

As Canadian, I really don’t have an opinion other than Oprah Boycott sounds pretty cool and rebellious enough for me to say – right on! Oprah makes too much money anyway. Let’s have some boycott going, damn it…

Oprah Winfrey and Sarah Palin Image Credit: Getty Images

Dita Von Teese released new short film to help promote the upcoming release of her own Wonderbra. Cheesily titled The Science of Sexy, the film features blonde scientist who’s unimpressed and uninspired until one day she discovers the gene of sexy that materializes into a wonderbra right before her eyes.

Dita Von Teese Wonderbra will be just like Dita Von Teese herself – all retro and burlesque. I suppose it’s meant to be sexy or something. I don’t know, I’m all into corsets, but they look better without any bra. Bras are for wussies. They hide erect nipples and there’s nothing hotter than a pair of pencil erasers poking at you from underneath the shirt. Dita needs to get the shit straight.

Dita Von Teese Wonderbra will be officially release in Europe on September 23rd. Not sure about North America. Maybe it’s too sexy for us up here so it’s not gonna be for sale at all, but I don’t think that’ll be the case. Too big of a market here to pass on.

Sexy Science by Dita official website is on SexyScienceByDita.com. It’s an animated flash site – it was trying to pop up new windows that were getting blocked so I didn’t get far. And I’m not so much into Dita Von Teese anyway. I just like to bitch about her. Check it out and let me know what you think.

The Science of Sexy video is below:

Frances Bean Cobain, daughter and only child of arguably the most influential musician of the 90’s and Nirvana frontman – Kurt Cobain celebrated her 16th birthday and had it suicide themed. I’m certainly not the one to judge, plus Frances certainly turned out to be a beautiful young woman, but didn’t her dad die by committing a suicide? Tasteless? Maybe she just didn’t realize. It’s all good, she’s 16, we do stupid things when we’re 16.

Frances Bean Cobain’s “Suicidal 16” birthday party took place at the House of Blues in Los Angeles featuring Mindless Self Indulgence and Frances particularly requested that everyone attending listens to them prior to joining the party. She said in her invitation that everyone will be “forced to jump around and dance.” That’s my kind of girl.

The contest was held for the most suicidal look and three prizes were given to the deadliest of deadlies. According to reports, the Suicidal 16 party cost Frances’ mother – Courtney Love over $323,000. Courtney Love is said to be broke. Who knows, maybe she had sponsors.

I love the birthday cake. It looks like an old graveyard entrance with sign reading “RIP Childhood”. That is so Addams Family of her. Nicely done.

Frances Bean Cobain certainly grew up. I remember when she was born and whoopieee, all of a sudden we have a teenager who throws suicide themed parties. She grew into a beautiful girl and the dark hair with bright red lips really suit her well. She’s gonna be a dish when she turns 18.

Congratulations to your 16th birthday, Frances Bean Cobain.

Pics are from Frances Bean Cobain’s MySpace Profile. Whole gallery of birthday party images after the break.

Jesse Ventura for president. Seriously, Jesse Ventura is one of few men who actually make sense in everything he says. He doesn’t fluff around, gets right to the core and cuts through without bullshitting. In this video interview by AlJazeera, Jesse Ventura talks about the politics, war, fascism in America, 9/11 and more.

Jesse Ventura was one of top wrestlers back in the day. He also stared alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger in predator as Sgt. Blain Cooper. He’s pretty much the most bad ass guy alive today.

From January 4, 1999 to January 6, 2003, Jesse Ventura was the Governor of Minnesota. He didn’t seek second term in the office despite gaining the highest approval rating of any governor in Minnesota history.

His political views are fascinating. Jesse Ventura says that the US is on the brink of fascism today and seriously questions that official story of 9/11 served to the people by the government. He says Republicans and Democrats pretend to be enemies in the eyes of the public, but behind the scenes they go hand in hand as good bodies cutting deals that best serve their personal interests.

Ultimately, Jesse Ventura says American needs to destroy two main political parties and start over. He says “war is the complete failure of politics.”

The awesomeness of Jesse Ventura can be viewed in the video below. The only downside is the incapable interviewer. He’s completely gay and would not let Jesse finish the sentence. He appears to be a Democratic puppet, based on when he stopped Jesse Ventura and when he opposed him. The dude was useless and probably had a vibrating bullet up his ass as he was interviewing. Jesse Venture is however completely awesome.

How could you not love Michelle Trachtenberg. She’s such a cutie. I first saw her in Europtrip, which I actually enjoyed. And her presence made it all so much better. She’s a hot chick.

Michelle Trachtenberg Biography

Michelle was born on October 11, 1985 in New York as Michelle Christine Trachtenberg. She’s 5′ 7″ which is just right height. Her biggest success as actress obviously is her role as Dawn Summers in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but I’ve never watched that shit. I’m serious, I’ve never seen single episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What is it about anyway?

I’m a bit fan of vampires and didn’t want to have my perception spoiled by some stupid TV series. I love Michelle Trachtenberg, I’d lick her toes every day, but don’t force me to watch some cheap ass shit that doesn’t portray vampires in real light. Eurotrip – a whole new story. Michelle Trachtenberg was ridiculously sexy in it and the movie delivered on its premise. I enjoyed that stupid shit.

Michelle Trachtenberg Filmography

I somehow managed to cover most important parts of Michelle Trachtenberg’s filmography in her bio, but she’s been in some other worthless movies as well. The movies include:

Against the Current
Kids in America
Dragonlance: Dragons of Autumn Twilight
The Hill
Black Christmas
Beautiful Ohio
Ice Princess
Can’t Be Heaven
Inspector Gadget

And she’s also in new Gossip Girl. Conclusion – Michelle Trachtenberg is fucking HOT! And if you didn’t know, Michelle Trachtenberg is jewish.