Beer Steak Bullshit

You know it’s coming, right? Tiger Woods Sex Tape will be on your computer screen very soon. I’m sure Tiger Woods’ agents are working round the clock to make sure any possible recordings of his Ambien Sex parties with countless mistresses are erased from the surface of the world, but so are the bounty hunters who realize there is a high price tag on Tiger Woods Sex Tape. Everyone know that if there is a Tiger Woods sex tape, it will be the most famous sex tape in existence and whoever gets to own it, will cash in like there’s no tomorrow. Hence the price for scoring one would be in multimillion dollar figures.

When it rains on Tiger Woods, it pours on Tiger Woods. The only thing worse than all current scandals that could happen to him is the actual Tiger Woods Sex Tape. But he needs to fear not. If the Tiger Woods sex tape does leak and makes it on the internet, he will likely lose some of his endorsements, but he can always make a new pact with Ambien and become their face. I’m sure their stock is already sky high and so are sales. If he actually smiled for their ads, the money would be pouring in. Screw Nike and their stupid shoes. Ambien Sex is where it’s at. Now let’s see some ugly skanks sucking on that Black/Asian cock of his. Let’s have some Tiger Woods sex tape.

Now that Tiger Woods is in the spotlight, all forms of weird characters are coming out of the woodwork to share juicy details about his affairs. The latest one has to do with Ambien Sex. Yes, friends of Rachel Uchitel told Radar that Tiger Woods was seeing her to have Ambien Sex with him. That’s what they allege he asked for. Now don’t be surprised that someone like Tiger Woods knows and practices Ambien Sex yet you have never even heard of it. You’re not alone. Not even a deviated mind like mine has come far enough to understand Ambien Sex. Looks like I have not been lucky to boink with crazy enough bitches. Let’s look into what Ambien Sex is to get it explained once and for all:

When you take Ambien, the drug gets you into the infamous Ambien Haze and if you engage in a sexual activity while still hazing, the sex will be wild and uninhabited. You’ll do things you’d never do sober. Then when you wake up in the morning, you won’t remember a damn thing. That could be beneficial cause you will only see the aftermath of your kinky night, such as the toilet brush up your ass. Unless of course you set up the cameras to film your charade but then you could end up puzzled like those kids in The Blairwitch Project. As long as you don’t gut and dismember your Ambien Sex partner, it’s all cool. Where do I get some, anyway? I’d like to know what I’m capable of when I don’t hold back. Let’s have Ambien Sex. We’ll keep it a secret. Tiger Woods does it, why can’t we all?