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Kristin Cavallari Blowjob Mouth

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Kristin Cavallari Blowjob Mouth

I’m filing this post under Celebrity even though Kristin Cavallari is not really one. However as she demonstrates in this picture, she has mouth big enough to deep-throat a horse dick which rightly deserves her a dedicated post on Beer Steak blog.

The blowjob mouth Kristin Cavallari appeared in the show titled Laguna Beach, which was kind of a prequel to The Hills. She however turned the offer by The Hills down and decided to go on her own and become a movie star. It didn’t work out for her. Despite her undeniable ability to suck big cock, the offers to star in big Hollywood productions were just not coming.

And so Kristin Cavallari deployed her blowjob mouth on someone at MTV and appeared on some show but the show was taken off after a year and Kristin was sent to being broke again. If it were me, I’d advice her to try a career in porn. She’s decent looking, has big mouth and producers are always looking for blowjob talents who can take on monster dicks. I’d pay to watch her suck one dry.

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Facial Flex for Better Blowjob

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Facial Flex for Better Blowjob

Remember Tatiana Kozhevnikova – Woman with Strongest Vagina in the World. Obviously, Tatiana Kozhevnikova went through a lot of inter vaginal training to gain muscles strong enough to squeeze the shit out of a penis that enters her snatch. And what Tatiana Kozhevnikova was able to do with her vagina, now every woman can achieve with her mouth. Introducing Facial Flex for Better Blowjob.

I was first introduced to the magic of Facial Flex when I saw the video below. Middle aged woman demonstrates how to use Facial Flex though her accompanying comments suggest that women should do it in order to tone their facial muscles. I say the women should train their facial muscles for better blowjobs. Everybody knows that women are useless when it comes to blowjobs these days. The golden era of blowjob is long gone and an average straight male living in the 21st century has little to no chance to experience the pleasures quality blowjobs. Women lost their ability to give good blowjobs and it should be in their foremost interest to resurrect this ages long skill and become good at it once more. Facial Flex can help.

With this simple device, you can tone your facial muscles, but most importantly – stretch your lips so you can deepthroat a penis all the way in and squeeze it tightly with your goddamn lips, not your teeth. It does not feel good when you go all chainsaw on man’s Johnson with your teeth. Your teeth should not be scraping the skin off a dick, instead, your lips should be delivering smooth and tight friction for maximum enjoyment. And swallow the load bitch. What’s it with women today spitting that shit out. It’s full of proteins that will help you in your efforts to retain clean and sexy complexion. Learn how to blow properly already. To suck at sucking is the worst way of suckage imaginable.

BTW, I don’t endorse Facial Flex. As a woman, you should not need to buy anything to deliver decent blowjob. Train with something you can find around the house but do watch the video below cause facial expressions and mumblings are priceless.

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French Anti-Smoking Ad Campaign Pictures

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French Anti-Smoking Campaign Ad Picture with Young Girl Giving Cigarette Blowjob to a Tobacco Exec

The French group for the rights of non-smokers (Les Droits des Non-Fumeurs) has launched a new anti smoking campaign with the release of these cool anti smoking ads. The meaning is that smoking cigarettes is like giving blowjobs to tobacco execs. The text on the campaign ads reads in French: “Fumer c’est etre l’esclave du tabac” which translates in English into “Smoking is like being tobacco’s slave”.

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Autofellatio Performed by a Walrus (video)

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Autofellatio Performed by a Walrus (video)

Watching a mammal perform autofellatio on himself makes chicks cream their pants. You’d think it’s guys who would cream themselves, but no… it’s girls. In this case it’s a mighty walrus who shows us his spectacular spinal flexibility and length of his penis that allow him to comfortably suck his own dick. Animals are awesome.

If walrus females are as useless at fellatio as human females, then I’m not surprise the male walrus population developed autofellatio skills. The golden age of blowjobs has long been over for us straight humans, but I’m hearing that the art of sucking dicks still exists among gay men population. Walruses can relate. They know what we as man go through given how useless women are these days so they look after their own sexual needs too. If I were a chick, I’d be ashamed.

The video of awesome walrus performing autofellatio at some sea world is below. Nevermind the girl who gets off to watching his do it off the camera. The guy who videotaped it (let’s presume she was his girlfriend – I mean you wouldn’t take your sister to a sea world, would you) clearly had the same thoughts going through his head. Stupid ho thinks it’s funny when a male performs autofellatio. But what’s a straight guy do when females can’t suck worth shit nowadays?

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Best Wedding Cake Idea (picture)

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Best Wedding Cake Idea (picture)

Let’s face it – you can either be a completely lame wedding couple and have the cake 98% of other newlyweds get, or you can go with something bolder, but cooler. How about bride blowing the groom? Isn’t that the best wedding cake idea ever? Look at the picture about and tell me if that doesn’t instantly catch your eye… Of course it does. And you know what else it does – it’ll make people remember. They will have been at dozens of wedding in their lifetime, but they will not remember any wedding cake but yours. That’s because your wedding cake idea stood out like a sore thumb. Have that bride of yours suck your dick not only during wedding night, but also on your wedding cake.

The only better wedding cake idea than a blowjob one would be to have a Zombie Wedding Cake but that’s way too awesome for someone below average. Go with a blowjob.

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Tatiana Kozhevnikova – Woman with Strongest Vagina in the World

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Photo of Tatiana Kozhevnikova And Her Vaginal Exercise Balls

Tatiana Kozhevnikova from Russian Novosibirsk holds a world record for lifting a 14 kg glass ball with just her vagina. If she keeps it up, soon enough she’ll be able to lift a man up by his penis with her vagina. Tatiana Kozhevnikova already has a record in the Guinness Book of World’s Records as a Woman with Strongest Vagina in the World. My sources are telling me that she can only use special titanium alloy dildos. All other dildos look like they went through mean grinder after Tatiana Kozhevnikova reached an orgasm. She doesn’t even sigh when she orgasms – her pussy screams itself so neighbors think there’s Tarzan in town. I made all that crap up, but she still is a woman with world’s strongest vagina and can lift 14 kg glass balls by squeezing vaginal muscles.

Tatiana Kozhevnikova says she’s been exercising her vaginal muscles for 15 years. This vaginal fitness allegedly improves sex life – well duh! After Tatiana Kozhevnikova had a child, her vaginal muscle were weak (translation: her pussy was loose like old man’s mouth), so she started to study ancient tricks on how women used to deal with this back then. yes, back then women cared about pleasuring their man. Nowadays you can’t even get a decent blowjob unless you’re gay. She found out that ancient women were sticking wooden balls up their vaginas to achieve tight muscles even after giving birth to many children. Tatiana Kozhevnikova got inspired, saw a glass ball, shoved it up her pussy and worked those muscles until the ball was out. She says it took forever, but now, after 15 years you can put a barb wire in there and she’ll roll it around a coil in no time. That’s what I call a skill. Ancient art of quality blowjob among women may be forever lost, but the art of strong vaginas is still alive, thanks to Tatiana Kozhevnikova.

Video of Tatiana Kozhevnikova lifting glass balls with her vagina and a gallery of photos of this wonder woman are below:

Photos: kp.ru

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Jeff Conaway Gets Blowjob from His Girlfriend Vikki Lizz (pic)

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Jeff Conaway Gets Blowjob from His Girlfriend Vikki Lizz (pic)

Jeff Conaway is totally receiving a tongue blowjob from his girlfriend Vikki Lizz. I wander if she’s realized what she’s blowing. I mean it’s moist, soft and squishy and small. Hold on a second, I’m supposed to talk about Jeff Conaway’s penis, not mine…

Vikki Lizz looks like she understands the aspect of a decent blowjob but does she swallow? That’s a good question. And here’s even better one – does she take it in the ass? Ha…

The pic is of an insane Jeff Conaway and his girlfriend Vikki Lizz at Benchwarmers party in Los Angeles. Who’s up for some tongue blowjob? I mean I want to get one, not give.

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