Beer Steak Bullshit

Welcome to the regular broadcast of the worst music you have ever heard. Korean Megastar Rain is currently the biggest poop in all of Asia which makes me question Asian musical taste. Some say Rain is a Korean version of Justin Timberlake, but I never realized Justin Timberlake was actually famous. He put his peen in Britney Spears, but that’s about it, right? Korean Megastar Rain on the other hand is the most pooped after singer on entire Asian continent. At least that’s what I’m being told. Anyway – there are three things I know about this Korean Megastar Rain:

• He’s a biggest pop star in Asia
• He makes hands down the most painful piece of shit music you have ever heard (see video below for proof)
• He likes to book concerts and cash out up front even knowing he can’t show up cause he has already something else booked for that day

And that’s exactly what happened in Hawaii. Honolulu concert promoter who booked Rain is suing him for defrauding them of more than half million US dollars. Another concert promoter from Los Angeles is also looking to sue his ass for cancelling a concert half an hour before showtime. StarM, the promotion company behind this Korean Megastar Rain blamed all sorts of technical glitches for missed concerts, but Click Entertainment from Hawaii says that Rain and StarM knew they would not be able to perform at their gig because of the trademark lawsuit in Nevada which they had to attend to, but they booked the concert anyway.

Lawsuit has been filed and judge made decision – Korean Megastar Rain and his agency JYP Entertainment Co. breached the contract and are to pay the Honolulu promoter $8 million dollars in damages for cancelled concerts. The most awful video with absolutely paiful music featuring Korean Megastar Rain is below. The crap song is titled “I’m coming”. I could never come if crap music like that was on. I couldn’t even get a hard on. Could use it as vomit inducer though. Awful music!

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When you say “judge” and “stripper” in the same sentence, you know there’s something truly awful in the works. Especially for the judge. And this case from Tampa, Florida is no different. Judge Thomas Stringer must have had a thing for Asian hookers when he got himself involved with Japanese stripper Christy Yamanaka back in 1995. Thomas Stringer was married at that time too, but back then even strippers had more honor and you could trust them.

Fast forward to 2008 – Thomas Stringer is a seasoned judge and Christy Yamanaka… well, retired stripper. Nobody wanted to watch old hag with saggy skin to flash her labia at them. And unlike studying in law school where as Thomas Stringer invested into his future, Christy Yamanaka had no such long term investment into herself and whore can’t be a stripper forever.

Christy Yamanaka now claims that she had sex with the judge three times and that Thomas Stringer helped hide her assets from creditors so they wouldn’t take everything from her. As it turns out, strippers can make shit loads of money, which Christy Yamanaka did have, but she filed for bankruptcy in Las Vegas, Nevada nevertheless however was ordered by the court to pay her creditors about $315,000. Christy Yamanaka called Judge Thomas Stringer to help her hide the money she had from the creditors so they couldn’t get it.

Thomas Stringer referred her to her son who’s an attorney and together a bank account to which Christy Yamanaka had access, but it wasn’t under her name – hence out of creditor’s reach. Now Christy Yamanaka came out of the woodwork and asked judge Thomas Stringer for money or else she was gonna spill the beans about their secret relationship. He was supporting her financially before and helped her with that hiding money from creditors situation, but now she claims he owes her money for a Hawaiian property investment that she bought, but was under his name to hide it from the list of her assets.

Thomas Stringer resigned from his post as a judge in February, 2009.

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Laura Louie is not a new ho in Woody Harrelson‘s life. The two have been together for 20 years and have three kids – Denni Montana, 15, Zoe Giordano, 12 and Makani Ravello. But it was only after 20 whole years that Woody Harrelson and Laura Louie sealed their relationship in a holy matrimony and got married. The wedding took place in Maui, Hawaii with just a small group of friends and family. Alanis Morissette graced their wedding ceremony with her singing in presence of a few Hollywood stars, including Sean Penn, Willie Nelson and Owen Wilson. So Laura Louie is a wifey now. Afterall she’s 43 year old – just about time for marriage certificate.

Laura Louie met with Woody Harrelson in 1987. She was his personal assistant at the time while he was working on a TV show Cheers and they’ve been together as a couple since. They both now live in Maui, Hawaii as part of 200 member sustainable community. That’s absolutely awesome. They are both fans of yoga and run a website focused on increasing awareness and protesting against air soil and water pollution. Laura Louie also co-owns organic food delivery company Yoganics.

Sounds like Laura Louie and Woody Harrelson found great purpose on Earth and are gonna live happy and healthy lives. I’m totally envious.

Laura Louie and Woody Harrelson photo credit: WENN

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Eddie Van Halen, 53 year old guitarist of legendary Van Halen is got engaged to Janie Liszewski, Van Halen manager and Eddie’s publicist and girlfriend.

Eddie Van Halen proposed to Janie Liszewski back in August in Hawaii and guess what – the bitch said “Yes”. It’s now official – the two are engaged? Insiders say Eddie kneeled before her to propose and bitch accepted on the spot.

Is this really how engagement works? You take a bitch to Hawaii and tell her you want to tie a penis knot with her clitoris and voila – away you go? Is that how it works with engagements? I’ve never been engaged, I have no fucking clue how it works. What I know, is that the next thing you do is diamond ring shopping, cause that’s how it’s done when you get engaged and then you get married and have post marital sex, like every good Christian. Then you make lots of babies, go to church every Sunday and out for a few with your buddies once a week – life is good.

Eddie Van Halen is no newb to getting engaged. Before Janie Liszewski, he was married to Valerie Bertinelli for 16 years. He’s got a son with Wolfgang her. 16 years – that’s a long ass time to remain married. And who the hell names their son Wolfgang?

Janie Liszewski is a 38 year old ho who’s never been married before. Talk about determined gold digger. She saved her virginity to score a big one.

Janie Liszewski and Eddie Van Halen are scheduling the wedding for June of 2009.

Oh, Van Halen still make shit loads of money – BTW. They are in top 10 richest rockers of 2008, according to Forbes. Janie Liszewski scored herself a gold mine.

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The relationship between former WWE star, now a movie star Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock and his new girlfriend Lauren Hashian seems to literally “rock”. The couple have spent the weekend in Hawaii enjoying the sun, the beach and each other. The Rock looks damn good. Did he always have that tattoo on his left upper torso?

Lauren Hashian is allegedly involved with VH1′s Rock of Love and she’s allegedly the reason why Dwayne Johnson’s 10 year old marriage to Dany Garcia went into the pooper. The reports say Dwayne met Lauren Hashian 2 years ago on the set of Game Plan, and have been secretly dating her since November of last year. While this affair certainly contributed to his failed marriage, Dany Garcia and Dwayne Johnson had been in a shaky relationship for at least a year prior to Dwayne meeting Lauren Hashian.

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