Beer Steak Bullshit

Well, I kind of figured it would be this big, Mr. Barack Obama, but thanks for filling us in. And trust me, I know what it feels like having clit for penis. This picture of Barack Obama revealing the size of his penis was taken at a Caterpillar plant in East Peoria, Illinois. Barack Obama formerly showed up to talk about creating new jobs after Caterpillar announced it would fire 20,000 of their employees. Among all the sweet talk regarding global recession and what not, Barack Obama used hand signals to hint onlookers regarding his penis size.

I’m not having any of that. We all know men exaggerate when it comes to showing how big their dicks are. By my calculations, man of presidential ranks would exaggerate the dick size twice fold. That would mean what – Barack Obama’s penis is half inch long? I’m assuming that’s erect. No man talks about his flaccid size. Everyone talks erect.

I guess he could always say that he’s got huge penis, but for a smaller body. Maybe the size of Verne Troyer. Unless Barack Obama was talking about the size of his horns that he gets hidden every day before he goes public. That would actually make more sense than penis. I don’t even know anymore. I don’t work for Caterpillar, I was not at that meeting. I can only guess what Mr. president was referring to. But I swear next time there is a picture of Michelle Obama showing the same size with her fingers, then we’ll know for sure how big a penis Barack Obama has.

Barack Obama pic by Scott Olson, Getty Images North America

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was arrested along with his chief of staff John Harris earlier today on two counts of corruption charges after they were allegedly trying to sell Senate seat that previously belonged to president elect Barack Obama to the highest bidder. Morons – if you’re doing a high profile transaction like that, make sure you got all your shit covered.

The corruption charges Rod Blagojevich faces actually read like this: “conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud and solicitation of bribery” – got to love that legal language… It gave me a hard on.

Funny fact is that no news releases mention the most important fact – Governor Rod Blagojevich is a democrat. Somehow none of the relevant news agencies managed to mention that fact.

This is the best shit I’ve seen on YouTube in a long ass time. Toby Jones put together this low budget, but sincere advertising video for his Jones Big Ass Truck Rental and Storage facility where you can store just about anything for $10.99 a month. This video is hilarious and definitely worth seeing.

You can also check out Jones Big Ass Truck Rental and Storage official website at www.jonesbigasstruckrentalandstorage.com. If I lived in anywhere in the Illinois (area code 708) I’d go to Jones Big Ass Truck Rental and Storage to get my shit stored. Toby will store it, he doesn’t care. I’ll pay with weed. Remember – you’re not the Duke of Hazzard