Beer Steak Bullshit

Hugh Hefner continues his charade with incredibly useless blonds. Crystal Harris is the latest on the long list of worthless girlfriend whores who would suck old man’s dick cause they’re useless to do anything worth while.

Crystal Harris has been desperately trying to draw attention to herself by sucking on Hef’s little toe for a while, but mostly in vain. Hef had other worthless blondes by his side at the time – Kendra Wilkinson, Bridget Marquardt and Holly Madison sucked out as much as they could out of Playboy owner but when your name is Hugh Hefner, you can only stand one blonde for so long. When the trio of skanks departed, they were swiftly replaced by twin gold diggers Kristina and Karissa Shannon. Crystal Harris entered the scene at that time as well, but remained obscure… until today.

The 22 year old Crystal Harris slammed her fist on the table and said: “Enough. I’m as blonde and plastic as they get. I want my share of attention.” You’re dream comes true, Crystal. The purpose of your life – being a whore that sucks on the mummy penis of Hugh Hefner – is hereby accomplished. May you live in peace.

Karissa and Kristina Shannon - Hugh Hefner's New Bitches

Hugh Hefner has always had awful taste for women, but his latest bitches – Karissa and Kristina Shannon are damn awful. Old man is losing his mind. They look even more plastic than Kendra Wilkinson. You’d think Hef would sober up, being 82 year old and would actually get himself a pretty ho. Plastic looking Barbie dolls were popular in the 60’s. Somebody should tell Hef that it’s already 2008.

Karissa and Kristina Shannon snuck into Hugh Hefner’s life after Holly Madison had announced that she’d left him. One bitch out, two bitches in. I strongly approve of the fact that Karissa and Kristina Shannon don’t have fake boobs, instead they have those nice, tiny perky boobies. Much better than those fake breasted whores surrounding Hef as of late.

Karissa and Kristina Shannon are twins and they’re 19 year old. It pays to be the owner of Playboy. Even as 82 year old, you get 19 year old chicks lining up to rub their vaginas against your old face. He even gets the twins. But I’m a firm believer that he still could do better. He’s the one and only Hugh Hefner. He’s got armies of hit chicks wanting to be his girlfriends. Why does he always pick up trash? Maybe it’s the creepy factor of having twin vaginas rubbing each side of your face at the same time. Karissa and Kristina Shannon have probably trained to move their hips unisono.