Beer Steak Bullshit

Claudia Schiffer was once the most coveted supermodel of the world. All my friends had her pictures on their dressers and posters on the walls. These days are long gone, because time doesn’t stop for anyone even if they once were a famous supermodel. Claudia Schiffer is pregnant and pregnancy often means deterioration of woman’s looks. However, judging by these Claudia Schiffer pregnant pics, despite her age, she looks mighty good. Aside from those distasteful shades, I’d say Claudia Schiffer is one super hot MILF.

There is no doubt that her body is covered in stretch marks and likely looks nothing like when we saw her in bikini back then, but I still maintain that despite triple pregnancy, Claudia Schiffer remains one of the finest woman around. Being originally German, she’d still have that harsh German accent that’s bund to give the woody no matter what. Unfortunately, her vagina is reserved for Matthew Vaughn, Claudia Schiffer’s husband who deposited his naughty sperm into her womb causing that baby bump we see in the pics to develop.

Claudia Schiffer is expected to give birth to her third child in May of 2010. The pics were taken in London, England, the gallery is below.

Claudia Schiffer Pregnant Pics by Bauer/Griffin

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See that creep circled in the photo? That’s 41 year old Marek Daniluk. Marek Daniluk is from Poland – need I say more? Now – see that hot chick in foreground of the photo? That’s flat-chested, yet still hot Keira Knightley. 24 year old Keira Knightley who’s best known for her role as Elizabeth Swann in the Pirates of the Caribbean and for having her breasts digitally enlarged in Chanel fragrance ads was leaving London’s Comedy Theater after her nightly performance of “The Misanthrope” on February 4, 2010 (the photo is from February 2, 2010) when she found out she had a stalker. And as if that weren’t enough, the stalker was Polish which makes the matters so much worse.

Marek Daniluk groped at Keira Knightley as she was leaving the theater and in his Polish creepiness wouldn’t leave her alone and kept asking irrelevant questions and demanded answers even though Keira Knightly didn’t feel like talking to some Pole. Marek Daniluk was arrested and appeared before the City of Westminster court on February 6, 2010 for his uncalled for actions. The prosecutor learned that the Polish national may be suffering from mental challenges. They didn’t know that? They could have just ask me. I wouldn’t even have to see the creep and I would instantly know by just being told that he was Polish. Those people are unstable and invasive. You go to London, UK and all you see are friggin Poles who infested that beautiful city with their bull crap. Is anyone surprised that it was a creepy Pole groped at Keira Knightley and had to be apprehended for his actions?

Keira Knightley and her circled stalker Marek Daniluk from Poland photo by Pacific Coast News

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Air New Zealand came with a wonderful idea to be the first commercial airliner to offer beds for sleeping in the economy class. Skycouch – as Air New Zealand is calling it will be offered on their new fleet of Boeing 777-300 aircrafts and will be available later this year (2010). Air New Zealand is looking to make long haul flights more enjoyable and I fully agree, except from one thing.

While discomfort of being confined in a small space, on a small seat, cramped among other confined passengers is certainly a factor that contributes to tiresome flights, the ability to have a bed like Skycouch on Air New Zealand aircrafts is worthless unless their executives decide to take a real step in the direction of real travel comfort and ban kids from flying. What good will Skycouch do to you if two screaming kids who won’t shut up for one minute during an 8 hour flight sit right behind you. Kids are a plague on any flight. It doesn’t matter what kind of extra comfort a carrier offers if it still allows kids on their planes. The journey will be painful and torturous for as long as kids are allowed aboard.

Skycouch on Air New Zealand flights will be wide enough to accommodate a couple or a couple with a kid (see, that’s what I’m talking about) and will cost the value of two and a half seats. This is definitely a great deal since two people would have to pay for two seats anyway but if for a quarter of seat value per person extra you get a chance to spent the flight laying down and real close to your significant other, it really seems worth it. Air New Zealand came definitely with a good idea introducing Skycouch, they just need to quit doing it half-assed and ban kids on their flights as well and they’ll become the best airliner in existence. First Air New Zealand planes with Skycouch service will serve Auckland – Los Angeles route but Auckland – London, UK route will be added in 2011 just in time for Rugby World Cup (people still go to rugby matches?). Three quarters of Air New Zealand are owned by New Zealand government.

Skycouch photo by Associated Press

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The Guinness Book of World Records has updated its record for the World’s Tallest Man. Sultan Kosen from Mardin in eastern Turkey is 8ft 1in tall. That’s almost 2.5 meters, or 2.47 to be precise. That’s a lot of height for one man. And as you can see from the picture above, being this tall is not easy. The knees of Sultan Kosen are weakened due to his height which requires him to use crutches for walking.

Sultan Kosen, the world’s tallest man is only 26 year old and has three brothers and one sister. His way to the Guinness Book of World Records led through the application to become the tallest man in Turkey. After he was officially measured by Turkish officials, it was found out that Sultan Kosen is actually 10 cm taller than a person currently listed as the World’s Tallest Man in the Guinness Book of World Records – Bao Xishun.

The title of the World’s Tallest Man was handed over to Sultan Kosen in London, UK where he confessed he’s hoping this publicity will hook him up with a girlfriend. Being this tall makes it hard for the man to get laid. He’s also hoping to buy a car he could fit into, but he’s primarily hoping for a girlfriend so he could get married. I guess in Turkey, which is predominantly Islamic country, a guy who’s 26 and not yet married is looked down upon. Muslims rock like that.

As if not getting laid and having bad knees due to his height weren’t enough, Sultan Kosen also has troubles finding clutches that would fit. He also had to get himself a custom made suit to wear for his ceremony in London.

Luckily for him, Sultan Kosen got two seats all for himself on a plane to London. Guinness Book of World Record officials didn’t cheap out on him to bring him there. Which having such impressive height can seem enviable, he surely faces many issues we the average folk don’t even know exist.

As most giants, Sultan Kosen grew this tall due to a medical condition – pituitary gigantism. The condition developed due to a tumor, which was successfully removed last year and his further growth was stopped. Otherwise he’d continue to grow. Editor’s Note – do they have such tumors that affect manhood?

According to Guinness Book of World Records editor-in-chief Craig Glenday, in history of human kind there have only been 10 reliably documented cases of people who were over 8 feet tall. Sultan Kosen is one of them.

While Sultan Kosen is officially the World’s Tallest Man, there is allegedly one other who’s taller. Leonid Stadnyk from Ukraine reportedly measures 8 feet 5.5 inches (2.57 meters) but his spot in the Guinness Book of World Records has been rejected because he’s declined to have his height officially measured. Go Sultan Kosen!

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Former tennis star Martina Navratilova has eventually come public with her new partner in pussy – Julia Lemigova. Martina Navratilova appeared on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! last year and mentioned she had a new, drop dead gorgeous girlfriend but there were no other hints who exactly she’s rubbing vaginas with. The secret is no longer the secret. Julia Lemigova is a combined peen sucker as well as clit licker (aka bisexual) and a former bewuty queen who represented Soviet Russia on Miss Universe in 1991 in London. Martina Navratilova is 52 year old already, her new girlfriend Julia Lemigova is 36. Julia is the one with big, saggy tits.

The pictures of Julia Lemigova and Martina Navratilova are from St Tropez in South France where the couple went on a little sexy trip together. It was the first time Martina went public with her new girlfriend so it turned into a big deal. French media speculate that the clit lickers may be engaged to each other, judging by the fact that both were wearing rings on their left hands when photographed in France.

Julia Lemigova was Soviet Russia’s last Miss as after 1991 the Soviet Union collapsed and was no more. Aside from being a Miss Universe pageant contestant, Julia Lemigova is a successful entrepreneur. She’s lived in Paris, France since the 90′s where she owns a beauty spa called the Joiya and a cosmetics company White Russia. She turned rich after she pulled a successful gold digging move and got engaged with peen sucking sessions with big time French banker Edouard Stern. The name of Julia Lemigova didn’t mean much to anyone until 2005 when her affair with Edouard Stern surfaced following his murder by his mistress Cécile Brossard during a BDSM session. Edouard Stern was found shot dead, bondaged up and wearing latex outfit. Julia Lemigova is still reaping benefits of correct gold-digging move from back then.

Julia Lemigova had her path crossed by Cécile Brossard before the death of Edouard Stern. The beginnings of her gold digging with this French banker date back to 1997. She was doing everything right, sucked on that banker’s dick and when the chance came, she had his sperm collected inside her vagina and spawned a kid in 1999. Maximilien only lived to be 5 months old. He was found dead in March of 2000 and autopsy report says he died of internal injuries. Julia Lemigova believed he was killed by the nanny she hired shortly before his death. The nanny, who was from Bulgaria disappeared after Maximilien’s death and has not been heard from since.

The case of Maximilien’s death was closed in 2002 for lack of evidence, but took a strange turn in 2004 when Julia Lemigova got a phone call from Cécile Brossard who told her she knew the truth regarding her son. Cécile was probably just pissed that Julia was doing better as gold digger than her who also sucked on banker’s dick but never got to spawn his kid and collect heavy paycheck.

So that’s the woman who swapped one billionaire dick for one celebrity clit. She knows how to keep the gold digging money flowing through. Bloody Russians. Martina Navratilova is now going though legal crap with her ex girlfriend who wants some checks for sucking on the tennis clit as well. It’s all about the money.

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Introducing Jay Barrymore – the luckiest bastard in all the world who gets to taste sweet vaginal juices of the single hottest girl in the world. Emma Watson is an incredible cutie and given that she’s no little Hermione Granger no more, but rather a grown up and legal young woman. Jay Barrymore has no idea what he’s getting. A single blowjob from Emma Watson and I can die a happy man. They’d have to drag me away with a bulldozer if I were to suck on her sweet… enough!

So Jay Barrymore is Emma Watson’s boyfriend and they’re moving in together. Let the orgies begin. Emma Watson owns a £3million house in London, UK so that’s got to be sweet. All is not lost though. When she was chatting on David Letterman, Emma Watson mentioned she was moving to the USA to go to the university. Maybe that’ll destroy her relationship with Jay Barrymore and since she’ll be much closer to me, I could get my shot and embracing the heavenly beast.

British Daily Mail reported that Emma Watson once said she would not go out with anyone famous. That’s great news for me. I’m only famous for being the worst blogger in the world. So far that gets me fanmail, but doesn’t get me laid. Maybe all I need is one British chick moving to the hood. Jay Barrymore ain’t famous either. He’s a financier and is 27 year old. If 27 year old average looking financier could make his way in Emma Watson’s pants, why would 34 year old below average looking piece of shit blogger not make it. I’m ready, Emma. Bring it on. But leave Jay Barrymore at home. He can do my finances in the meantime.

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US President Barrack Hussein Obama bowed deep down before King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia at the G20 Summit in London. While meeting of G20 has given Barrack Hussein Obama the opportunity to speak with leaders of other economically strong or rising countries, he only bowed to Saudi King Abdullah like that. Not even British Queen Elizabeth II got a bow this deep from Obama.

I understand the hate mail I keep getting from all of you nice people who are offended by me constantly bashing on Barack Obama. I swear I spent whole day today trying to find something positive to write about him, but it was all in vain. From my standpoint – as a Canadian who is still subject to British Queen, I understand what bows to the royalties mean. However from reactions of Americans, I understand this is unacceptable. Americans fought in the American Revolution to set themselves free from the British monarchy – so they don’t have to bow to the kings and queens. Things have certainly changed since American revolution and common courtesy is not necessarily a bad thing. So if Barack Obama bows a little before the Queen Elizabeth II, no Americans would get outraged. But when he only mimics the bow with her and then goes deep down to bow before Saudi King Abdullah – what the heck is that all about? Perhaps if British queen started executing her own people in the middle of public square by decapitation with a sword – perhaps then Barrack Hussein Obama would deem her worthy a deep bow like he deems Saudi King Abdullah worthy of it.

Former US president Bill Clinton said in 1994 when contemplating bowing to the emperor of Japan:

Canadians still bow to England’s Queen; so do Australians. Americans shake hands. If not to stand eye-to-eye with royalty, what else were 1776 and all that about?

Yep. Nothing’s changed. Whether US president’s name is Barack Hussein Obama or George Walker Bush, they are all the same and all big buddies with the Saudis. Remember the outrage the picture of George Bush holding hands with King of Saudi Arabia stirred?

Yeah… Are the same people who have been outraged over this affection towards Saudi Kings going to demonstrate the same outrage towards Barack Hussein Obama for his bow to Saudi King Abdullah? Chirp, chirp, chirp… Yeah, just as I thought!

While the picture of Barrack Hussein Obama Bowing to Saudi King Abdullah posted above doesn’t quite look like a bow, it’s pretty apparent form the video below.

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