Who would have thought that US Pole Dancing Champion Natasha Wang was clumsy as hell. And not only is she clumsy and unworthy of the title of the pole dancing champion, she’s also full of herself as she clearly demonstrated after her fall in response to the Good Morning LA host when she said that “it doesn’t happen to ME very often!”. Yes, Natasha Wang is a pretty girl and on top of it all also Asian, which is a combination majority of men will find attractive (I’d hit her too), but it got to her a little bit too much and she’s nothing but a bag of conceit now.

I guess being half attractive and skilled in spreading legs wide open before the eyes of sleazy middle aged men is a green light to the realm narcissism. Natasha Wang has got it down. Frivolity is inborn, conceit acquired. They taught you well, Tash! Check out the video below:

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Air New Zealand came with a wonderful idea to be the first commercial airliner to offer beds for sleeping in the economy class. Skycouch – as Air New Zealand is calling it will be offered on their new fleet of Boeing 777-300 aircrafts and will be available later this year (2010). Air New Zealand is looking to make long haul flights more enjoyable and I fully agree, except from one thing.

While discomfort of being confined in a small space, on a small seat, cramped among other confined passengers is certainly a factor that contributes to tiresome flights, the ability to have a bed like Skycouch on Air New Zealand aircrafts is worthless unless their executives decide to take a real step in the direction of real travel comfort and ban kids from flying. What good will Skycouch do to you if two screaming kids who won’t shut up for one minute during an 8 hour flight sit right behind you. Kids are a plague on any flight. It doesn’t matter what kind of extra comfort a carrier offers if it still allows kids on their planes. The journey will be painful and torturous for as long as kids are allowed aboard.

Skycouch on Air New Zealand flights will be wide enough to accommodate a couple or a couple with a kid (see, that’s what I’m talking about) and will cost the value of two and a half seats. This is definitely a great deal since two people would have to pay for two seats anyway but if for a quarter of seat value per person extra you get a chance to spent the flight laying down and real close to your significant other, it really seems worth it. Air New Zealand came definitely with a good idea introducing Skycouch, they just need to quit doing it half-assed and ban kids on their flights as well and they’ll become the best airliner in existence. First Air New Zealand planes with Skycouch service will serve Auckland – Los Angeles route but Auckland – London, UK route will be added in 2011 just in time for Rugby World Cup (people still go to rugby matches?). Three quarters of Air New Zealand are owned by New Zealand government.

Skycouch photo by Associated Press

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Matthew Knowles, father of certain C List singers, such as Beyonce Knowles or Solange Knowles is facing a Paternity Suit. According to TMZ, Matthew Knowles stuck his naughty dick and unloaded his slimy sperm into the vaginal cavity of certain Alexsandra Wright who is looking to monetize on the situation and took a route of an attention whore. Alexsandra Wright knows how to dig some gold. Sit on a fat cock of some mofo with fat wallet, wiggle up and down until the slime comes out and when that moment comes, press hard on the dick so no frisky sperm finds its way out of your womb. That’s gold digging 101 right thur. Alexandra Wright has that shit down.

If Alexandra Wright spawns a kid and DNA proves Matthew Knowles is the father, it will be the second child out of his wedlock with Tina Knowles to whom he’s been married for 29 years. He previously knocked up another chick that wasn’t his wife which resulted in birth of Kelly Rowland who’s ex Destiny’s Child member (in the picture with Matthew Knowles above).

Alexsandra Wright filed the paternity suit in LA County Superior Court. She’s in her 30′s and works in LA as some weird PR person for name branding company. Neal Hersh, a guy who’s in charge of the prenup between Khloe Kardashain and Lamar Odom is also representing Alexsandra Wright in the Matthew Knowles Paternity Suit and her once in a lifetime gold digging opportunity.

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Look at the face of a douche. Jasmine Fiore was found dead in a dumpster, stuffed inside a suitcase (must have been quite a job to fit those silicones in there) and Ryan Alexander Jenkins is a “person of interest”. Whether he’s a murderer we don’t know yet, but looking at the picture I can answer one thing for sure – yes, he’s a douche. You got to be a douchebag if you wear stupid pubestache like that.

Aside from being a potential murderer, garbage bin depositor and suitcase stuffer of Jasmine Fiore, Ryan Alexander Jenkins is also a reality TV contestant. That’s right, Ryan Alexander Jenkins got his douche ass on VH1′s Megan Wants A Millionaire. That means that he’s a millionaire, right? Well, he better be, cause if convicted of murder of Jasmine Fiore, he’s gonna need some change to buy Hubba’s favor which is the only way to get fucked with lube. Otherwise he’s gonna have to take Hubba’s dick up his dry ass.

I can hear you asking – aside from being a douche and a reality TV contestant, what else is this Ryan Alexander Jenkins? Well sadly – he’s a Canadian. And not only that. He’s Alberta, right from Calgary. If I looked outside the window, I might see him there. Why do people from my province have to be such amateur murderers? I thought after Jasmine Fiore’s dead body was discovered, that it’s gonna be one of those mindblowing criminal cases similar to Black Dahlia in which the murderer has never been found. That would immortalize Jasmine Fiore but now that there is a suspect basically right after her body was discovered, she’s got no chance of becoming as famous as Elizabeth Short. I’m sorry Jasmine Fiore, I tried finding something worthy of remembering about you, but Buena Park police spoiled it all. Skilled chaps, these are, I tell ya.

The police say that Jasmine Fiore was strangled to death. If Ryan Alexander Jenkins is in fact her murderer – I can’t help but wonder what would prompt a 32 year old real estate developer/investment banker (whatever title you give it, at the end of the day it equals “millionaire”) to kill young woman. Seemingly he had everything he wished for – a pubestache, an appearance on VH1, a bank account full of green stuff… why killing a blonde? WHat was missing in his life that he would wrap his douche hands around her neck and squeeze tight? This will be an interesting case to follow. Ryan Alexander Jenkins is probably somewhere in Venezuela or Thailand by now.

EDIT: latest news has it that Ryan Alexander Jenkins and Jasmine Fiore were married. TMZ was allegedly contacted by lawyers of Ryan Alexander Jenkins who said that their client will co-operate with the authorities. See? I told you he was a douche. Who else would marry Playboy representative with fake boobs? RIP Jasmine Fiore

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This awful looking blond in the picture is Jasmine Fiore. 28 year old Jasmine Fiore is a bikini model and Playboy representative. Why am I not surprised that when I see a fake blonde with atrocious fake boobs and beastly make-up with chola eyebrows, it’s somehow associated with Playboy. Hugh Hefner has the worst taste in women and he imposes it on unsavvy men through his outdated magazine. Hef needs to realize that there’s only one creature worthy of coveted title “model” – Squirrel the Magnificent. Nobody can pose those moobs like he can, nevermind the best impersonation of Nosferatu since Max Schreck.

However, despite her horrendous looks, I’m not gonna focus on that too much as poor Jasmine Fiore may be going through some hardship. Lisa Lepore, mother of Jasmine Fiore reported to the police that her daughter was last seen on Friday, August 14, 2009 and has not been heard from since.

Jasmine Fiore, whose name was Jasmine Kinkaid until her recent move to Los Angeles, moved to California from Las Vegas to start a personal training business there. She lived in the 800 block of Edinburgh Avenue, close to Melrose Avenue and according to her mom, she was not planning to go anywhere. And then bam – missing. Lisa Lepore says it’s not typical of her daughter to vanish without saying where she’s going so she’s rightfully freaked out.

If you see said Jasmine Fiore, don’t freak out. Collect yourself and contact LAPD about her whereabouts. I know she may scare the living poop out of you, but she’s just a harmless blonde with nasty tits is all.

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Yet another Cameron Douglas arrest. 30 year old stepson of actor Michael Douglas got busted in an undercover Crystal Meth sting operation at the Gansevoort Hotel in New York. Cameron Douglas was allegedly trying to take $18,000 worth of crystal meth from New York to Los Angeles (or the other way around?) with intentions to sell it there.

The DEA task force arrested Cameron Douglas in a room at the Gansevoort Hotel where he’s lived for a while. The room was paid for by Michael Douglas. What a dad, he’d even pay for his stepson’s long term stay in a hotel. Are there no available apartments to rent in New York anymore?

Cameron Douglas is no newb to jail. He was arrested twice before, this is his charming third time. Each of his three arrests were drug related. Dude knows how to party it out through life. All he needs to do is to play a drug addict. He’ll be sent to a rehab instead of a choker and the life will be back to normal once more. Afterall, they still want some meth in LA, right?

Or maybe Michael Douglas could cut him from his sponsorship pay check and let him live on his own. Dude gets paid for his hotel room by his step dad – he has no financial worries cause dad sorts it all out for himself. Let Cameron Douglas hit the rock bottom and wake up to reality.

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During the memorial ceremony at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, Michael Jackson’s Daughter Paris came on stage to say a few words about her father and broke down in tears, saying that Michael Jackson was “the best father”. She was comforted by other members of The Jackson’s and taken off stage. This short stage presence of Michael Jackson’s Daughter Paris was one of the most powerful moments of today’s memorial ceremony:

I just want to say – ever since I was born, daddy (Michael Jackson) has been the best father you can ever imagine. And I just wanted to say I love him so much…

…and after that Michael Jackson’s Daughter Paris collapsed in the arms of Janet Jackson, her aunt. The video of this moment is above, if you didn’t catch the live broadcast of it.

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Darius Goes West is an award winning movie about 15 year old Darius Weems who suffers from Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. The documentary follows the journey of Darius Weems and his eleven friends as they go across America to Los Angeles where Darius is hoping to get his wheelchair pimped out by MTV’s Pimp My Ride.

Darius Goes West is an extraordinary and touching documentary. Because of Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, Darius Weems had never left his home town of Athens, Georgia. Then in 2005, when he was 15 he set out on his epic journey along with his friends and the film crew under direction of Logan Smalley. Since then, the movie has won awards at 27 film festivals.

Darius Weems is now 18 year old and the crew who previously got together to film Darius Goes West are back together again, this time with a mission to sell one million copies of the movie on DVD. The discs sell for $20, and with each DVD sold, $17 will go towards the efforts to treat or cure Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. This genetic disease claimed the life of Darius’ brother who died at the age of 19. On a worldwide scale, Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy is the #1 terminal genetic disease for children. Trailer for Darius Goes West is below:

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Rihanna‘s real name is Robyn Fenty. And you’re probably thinking the same as I was – who the fuck is Rihanna? And… who the fuck cares. The answer is simple – nobody. That applies to both questions. I’ve done some research on Robyn Fenty aka Rihanna and yes, there’s some painfully awful music connected with her name. Made me puke rum and coke out of my beer gut. Luckily I puked in a bucket so it all went back in the gut.

The reason why name Robyn Fenty started popping out, even though almost nobody knows Rihanna under that name, is alleged attack on her by the one person who does know her as Robyn Fenty – Chris Brown. That’s another douche who should get proper education on what the music should sound like so he no longer tortures our ear drums with his shit. Chris Brown had erection problems or some shit, got all pissy about it and beat the fuck out of his girlfriend Rihanna. He’s now facing domestic violence charges.

The whole incident took place in Hancock Park, which is part of Los Angeles, California. Cali cops arrested Chris Brown, but have the policy not to issue names of victims of domestic violence crimes, so it is not 100% known whether it was in fact Robyn Fenty he beat the shit out of. Several mainstream media however identified the victim as Robyn Fenty, who was also seen entering Cedar hospital.

I made that shit about erection problems up, but I’m trying to think of any other reason why a douche would beat up his girlfriend. Maybe Rihanna gave Christ Brown herpes for all I know. That’s all but speculations. The reason I can’t think of any reasons, is because I don’t remember last time I had a girlfriend. I don’t even see erection problems as problems. I’m actually glad if I can locate my penis within never-ending folds of fat that built up around my waist area. I’m lucky they make stationary dildoes. I can always superglue one of those on my oversized chair, pour motor oil on it and shove it up my ass as I’m sitting on the chair. Yes, I still have sex life, as you can see.

And just in case talking about crappy music spoiled your day, let me fix you up. None of that Robyn Fenty aka Rihanna shit, enough of that Chris Brown bullcrap, have some motherfucking Gojira from Hellfest 2006 in France. Fucking sick shit!

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King of all speech impeding morans Christian Bale apologized for his fuck filled tirade against Director of Photography on the movie set for Terminator, Salvation – Shane Hurlbut. Kevin & Bean from radio show on L.A.’s KROQ caught up with Christian Bale over the phone and gave the moran a chance to apologize and explain himself. Of course Christian Bale clarified that they are best of buddies with DP Shane Hurlbut and continue tossing each other’s salads like they always have. BTW – as I was writing title for this post, I managed to misspell Christian Bale’s name. I was basically done with the post when I noticed that two of the letters at the end swapped order turning the moran into who he actually is – a fucking cry baby girl Christina Bale!

During the phone apology Christian Bale told Kevin & Bean (BTW, do all LA radio DJs suck gay cock or just these morans do, cause they are the most pathetic hosts I’ve ever heard) that his cock took over his head and as a result verbal fuck filled diarrhea came out. He was supposed to ejaculate man cum during scheduled masturbation break, but he had a permature ejaculation – through his speech impediment screwed set of mouth. Actually, he said he felt embarrassed for ejaculated fuck filled diarrhea on the set and asked everybody to ask themselves to see if they had a bad day and spewed fuck tirade just the way he did. He kind of got me when he encouraged everyone to mock his moranic ass as he deserves it. Well, here you go Christian Bale, you still fucking suck, you moran!

Full audio from an over the phone talk with Christian Bale conducted by absolutely pathetic Kevin & Bean from KROQ is below.

Christian Bale mugshot pic by WENN

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