Robert Pattinson - Secret to his Hotness Revealed

Thursday, December 18th, 2008

Robert Pattinson – Secret to his Hotness Revealed

This one’s for the ladies, all right? Cause they don’t get much to jerk off to from me. Robert Pattinson, the star of Twilight - you all masturbate to his clothed pictures so some smartasses tracked down what it is that makes this dude hawt. And voila, he’s a fucking mutant. A Frankenstein type of creature pasted together from several contemporary hawt males. Brace your clits, the secret to Robert Pattinson’s hotness revealed. Robert Pattinson has:

  • Eyes of Orlando Bloom
  • Hair of Matthew McConaughey
  • Eyebrows of Jake Gyllenhaal
  • Lips of Chace Crawford
  • Chin of Jude Law

There, that was the secret to why Robert Pattinson makes every girl’s vagina sweat. Unlike me, who has cute face of Lotney Fratelli from The Goonies and abs of SpongeBob SquarePants. Duh!

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